Bad night
Tomorrow is a new day. We all have bad moments except for possibly
Doug.
Audrey
"Zaz" wrote in message
...
Hi guys.
This is the worst night ever.
I suppose it all started yesterday when my daughter, otherwise always
so charming, kept throwing tantrums at me (she's really getting into
the Terrible Two's... with a vengance). I have a babysitter at home (I
work at home) every weekday but Thursdays, where I am alone with my
two kids. And it seems that no matter what I do, Mlle C (my daughter)
has it in her head that it's more fun to scream and cry when alone
with mommy than with the babysitter - who doesn't take that kind of
s*. Anyway, I felt really low last night, but I kept on the plan.
Today was different. I spent the day replying to stupid emails, and
then went shopping. Didn't find anything - or, I must admit, didn't
want to find anything; I seem to have a blocage from buying things for
myself before I get to goal, but this doesn't make sense: I must find
new clothes, maternity clothes just look bad on me now!
Anyway, I just ordered the ribs and chicken filet from the rotisserie,
with fries, and gobbled it all down. With two beers. Great. Over 40
points in one meal. And I have a dinner at the restaurant planned for
tomorrow, for which I had saved my weekly bonus allowance.
I am thinking I can still make it OK at the restaurant, but I feel
really stupid for having indulged in a crappy meal. What's wrong with
me? I was doing sooo well.
Well, I know what's wrong with me. It's me eating my guilt over not
being able to have a nice day with my daughter, for not being "as
good" as the babysitter. Deep down inside I do know that her actions
are normal, she's testing her grounds, but on the other hand I find
reason and emotions to be sometimes so wide apart.
Mmm.. Well, that's better. Only writing helps realizing that first, I
shouldn't feel guilty over what happened yesterday, and second,
knowing that, I shouldn't feel guilty about my binge tonight - I can
get right back on track, I've been so good, I can be good again.
--
Isabelle
154.8/142/130
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