Ok, fine, whatever, I give up

Well, I _thought_ I'd broken my stall, but I went for my last weigh-in at
Curves today, and I was down a half pound. Which is back to what I was in
January. I go from 156 to 156.5 and back to 156, with likewise minute
fluctuations in measurements that are probably due to different people
measuring me in slightly different ways.

I've been working out 5 - 6 days a week, weight lifting 3x a week, cardio
as a warm up on weight days, and more cardio on non-weight days. I'm
pushing myself as hard as I can on the working out. I've been averaging
around 1200 calories a day, about 30g of carbs a day.

I'm NOT giving up on low-carb. I like eating this way, and at least I'm
not gaining. I'm not giving up on exercise either, because I like it too.
But I guess I need to give up on losing any more weight, because apparently
this is where my body wants to be, and to tell you the truth I'd rather be
at this weight forever than eat any less, because I'm already restricting
myself enough so that it's a pain in the butt and I'm hungry most of the
time. I've butched up about as much as I can. No, that's not true, I
could eat less. I could force myself to eat one small salad a day and
nothing else. But what's the point? Been there, done that, hated every
minute of it way more than I hate being fat. I'm not saying I love to pig
out more than I hate being fat, it's not about wanting to eat huge portions
of stuff, it's about how I don't think I could stick with being hungry when
I go to bed, hungry when I wake up, hungry all day long, stomach growling
loud enough that other people can hear it, ****ed off because I've just
eaten a hard boiled egg for lunch and I'm still hungry, for the rest of my
life. I have always been skeptical about people who say they don't eat a
lot and they do exercise but they can't lose weight, and now look at me,
I've become what I ridiculed. Whatever. **** it.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.