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  #11  
Old August 25th, 2004, 07:46 AM
The Queen of Cans and Jars
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Luna wrote:

In article ,
(The Queen of Cans and Jars) wrote:


therapy.

not kidding, not being sarcastic, NOT PICKING ON YOU. ok?

get some help. you don't have to keep going forever. just use it to
work through this stuff.


Thanks. Yeah, I've been thinking about it. I went to therapy once, for a
few months, and I felt like it was a big waste of time. Just talking about
stuff doesn't fix anything. And I don't even know what the "stuff" is that
I need to work through. I know I've dealt with stress and anxiety by being
orally fixated at least since I was 4 years old, because that's when I
stopped chewing on my hair and moved to biting my nails. So it may be that
this is just my personality.


therapy isn't necessarily "just talking about stuff" and if you didn't
get anything out of it the first time, you probably weren't working with
the right person.

it may indeed be that it's just your personality. you could try st.
john's wort or 5htp on your own if you wanted to. 5htp has been helpful
for me in that it has almost completely eliminated my desire to overeat.
mind you, i quit smoking sixteen years ago so i wasn't battling that.
still, it's helped. you can google for more information about both
supplements.

i think it's a deeper problem, though, and that self-medication isn't
what you need. you need to find out *why* you do this to yourself so
that you can take action to stop it, not just try to placate it into
some semblance of submission. it's obvious that you know better than to
stuff your face but you are unable, for whatever reason, to stop
yourself from doing it. i don't think just popping a pill is the way to
solve a problem like that. i think it's a behavior that you've learned,
and if you can learn it you can *unlearn* it, too. how to unlearn it is
something you'll have to figure out for yourself, and a good therapist
can help you with that.

it sucks, what's happening, but it's not the end of the world. you'll
find a way to deal with it. just don't start smoking again.

  #12  
Old August 25th, 2004, 08:29 AM
S t a c i
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"Luna" wrote in message
...

Thanks. Yeah, I've been thinking about it. I went to therapy once, for a
few months, and I felt like it was a big waste of time. Just talking

about
stuff doesn't fix anything. And I don't even know what the "stuff" is that
I need to work through. I know I've dealt with stress and anxiety by

being
orally fixated at least since I was 4 years old, because that's when I
stopped chewing on my hair and moved to biting my nails. So it may be

that
this is just my personality.


To play devil's advocate here...maybe you don't have a sh*tload of "stuff"
that you need to overcome. Maybe things are just feeling really magnified
because of the dependency your body is fighting. The fact that you don't
even know what the "stuff" is that you need to work through makes me think
that you may not be laden with issues...

Just something to think about, of course. Something similar happens to my
sister every month with PMS. She is overcome with emotions over things that
she could normally tolerate.

S t a c i


  #13  
Old August 25th, 2004, 08:45 AM
Luna
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

In article ,
"S t a c i" wrote:

Michelle - two comments for you...

1. You say that it "all falls apart" once you get home...maybe you should
make plans to get out of the house. I have a good friend who sometimes gets
into negative patterns at the end of the day when she's home, so she makes
all kinds of plans to keep her out of the house until she's feeling more
stable.


Hmm. That's a good idea, actually. Maybe I could switch to working out
after work instead of before.


2. If I remember from a previous post, you were smoking 3 packs a day,
correct? Why did you decide to give up 60 smokes a day cold-turkey? It's
possible that cold-turkey is the best method for your personality type, and
that you already know this...but I would have given myself a few weeks of
cutting back to 2 packs, then 1, then 10 cigs, etc. I don't want to
encourage you to step backwards, but you did decide to take on a lot all at
once. No one would fault you for taking it slowly.


I'm not going cold turkey, actually. I'm using the nicorette gum. I've
tried the cutting back method before, it never worked. I already had the
gum from a previous quit attempt, and one night I was out and I smoked too
much and made myself sick, and on the way home I decided not to stop and
buy more, to just quit instead.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.
  #14  
Old August 25th, 2004, 08:45 AM
Luna
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

In article ,
"S t a c i" wrote:

Michelle - two comments for you...

1. You say that it "all falls apart" once you get home...maybe you should
make plans to get out of the house. I have a good friend who sometimes gets
into negative patterns at the end of the day when she's home, so she makes
all kinds of plans to keep her out of the house until she's feeling more
stable.


Hmm. That's a good idea, actually. Maybe I could switch to working out
after work instead of before.


2. If I remember from a previous post, you were smoking 3 packs a day,
correct? Why did you decide to give up 60 smokes a day cold-turkey? It's
possible that cold-turkey is the best method for your personality type, and
that you already know this...but I would have given myself a few weeks of
cutting back to 2 packs, then 1, then 10 cigs, etc. I don't want to
encourage you to step backwards, but you did decide to take on a lot all at
once. No one would fault you for taking it slowly.


I'm not going cold turkey, actually. I'm using the nicorette gum. I've
tried the cutting back method before, it never worked. I already had the
gum from a previous quit attempt, and one night I was out and I smoked too
much and made myself sick, and on the way home I decided not to stop and
buy more, to just quit instead.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.
  #15  
Old August 25th, 2004, 08:49 AM
Luna
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

In article ,
(The Queen of Cans and Jars) wrote:

Luna wrote:

In article ,
(The Queen of Cans and Jars) wrote:


therapy.

not kidding, not being sarcastic, NOT PICKING ON YOU. ok?

get some help. you don't have to keep going forever. just use it to
work through this stuff.


Thanks. Yeah, I've been thinking about it. I went to therapy once, for a
few months, and I felt like it was a big waste of time. Just talking about
stuff doesn't fix anything. And I don't even know what the "stuff" is that
I need to work through. I know I've dealt with stress and anxiety by being
orally fixated at least since I was 4 years old, because that's when I
stopped chewing on my hair and moved to biting my nails. So it may be that
this is just my personality.


therapy isn't necessarily "just talking about stuff" and if you didn't
get anything out of it the first time, you probably weren't working with
the right person.


True. I didn't get a choice though.


it may indeed be that it's just your personality. you could try st.
john's wort or 5htp on your own if you wanted to. 5htp has been helpful
for me in that it has almost completely eliminated my desire to overeat.
mind you, i quit smoking sixteen years ago so i wasn't battling that.
still, it's helped. you can google for more information about both
supplements.

i think it's a deeper problem, though, and that self-medication isn't
what you need. you need to find out *why* you do this to yourself so
that you can take action to stop it, not just try to placate it into
some semblance of submission. it's obvious that you know better than to
stuff your face but you are unable, for whatever reason, to stop
yourself from doing it. i don't think just popping a pill is the way to
solve a problem like that. i think it's a behavior that you've learned,
and if you can learn it you can *unlearn* it, too. how to unlearn it is
something you'll have to figure out for yourself, and a good therapist
can help you with that.


Well, like I said before, the oral fixation has been a lifelong problem.
This compulsive eating is relatively new though, just since I quit smoking.
I mean, yeah, I overate before, but it was at regular mealtimes and it was
when I felt hungry. This isn't.

it sucks, what's happening, but it's not the end of the world. you'll
find a way to deal with it. just don't start smoking again.


Maybe it's temporary. I hope it is. I'm not going to start smoking again,
no matter what.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.
  #16  
Old August 25th, 2004, 08:49 AM
Luna
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

In article ,
(The Queen of Cans and Jars) wrote:

Luna wrote:

In article ,
(The Queen of Cans and Jars) wrote:


therapy.

not kidding, not being sarcastic, NOT PICKING ON YOU. ok?

get some help. you don't have to keep going forever. just use it to
work through this stuff.


Thanks. Yeah, I've been thinking about it. I went to therapy once, for a
few months, and I felt like it was a big waste of time. Just talking about
stuff doesn't fix anything. And I don't even know what the "stuff" is that
I need to work through. I know I've dealt with stress and anxiety by being
orally fixated at least since I was 4 years old, because that's when I
stopped chewing on my hair and moved to biting my nails. So it may be that
this is just my personality.


therapy isn't necessarily "just talking about stuff" and if you didn't
get anything out of it the first time, you probably weren't working with
the right person.


True. I didn't get a choice though.


it may indeed be that it's just your personality. you could try st.
john's wort or 5htp on your own if you wanted to. 5htp has been helpful
for me in that it has almost completely eliminated my desire to overeat.
mind you, i quit smoking sixteen years ago so i wasn't battling that.
still, it's helped. you can google for more information about both
supplements.

i think it's a deeper problem, though, and that self-medication isn't
what you need. you need to find out *why* you do this to yourself so
that you can take action to stop it, not just try to placate it into
some semblance of submission. it's obvious that you know better than to
stuff your face but you are unable, for whatever reason, to stop
yourself from doing it. i don't think just popping a pill is the way to
solve a problem like that. i think it's a behavior that you've learned,
and if you can learn it you can *unlearn* it, too. how to unlearn it is
something you'll have to figure out for yourself, and a good therapist
can help you with that.


Well, like I said before, the oral fixation has been a lifelong problem.
This compulsive eating is relatively new though, just since I quit smoking.
I mean, yeah, I overate before, but it was at regular mealtimes and it was
when I felt hungry. This isn't.

it sucks, what's happening, but it's not the end of the world. you'll
find a way to deal with it. just don't start smoking again.


Maybe it's temporary. I hope it is. I'm not going to start smoking again,
no matter what.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.
  #17  
Old August 25th, 2004, 08:52 AM
Luna
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

In article ,
"S t a c i" wrote:

"Luna" wrote in message
...

Thanks. Yeah, I've been thinking about it. I went to therapy once, for a
few months, and I felt like it was a big waste of time. Just talking

about
stuff doesn't fix anything. And I don't even know what the "stuff" is that
I need to work through. I know I've dealt with stress and anxiety by

being
orally fixated at least since I was 4 years old, because that's when I
stopped chewing on my hair and moved to biting my nails. So it may be

that
this is just my personality.


To play devil's advocate here...maybe you don't have a sh*tload of "stuff"
that you need to overcome. Maybe things are just feeling really magnified
because of the dependency your body is fighting. The fact that you don't
even know what the "stuff" is that you need to work through makes me think
that you may not be laden with issues...

Just something to think about, of course. Something similar happens to my
sister every month with PMS. She is overcome with emotions over things that
she could normally tolerate.

S t a c i



Cool, ok. Yeah. Maybe this is a temporary problem. Honestly, I don't
think my anxieties are all that huge, comparatively. They just feel huge
to me, but there are plenty of people doing a better job of dealing with
much harder stuff than I am.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.
  #18  
Old August 25th, 2004, 08:52 AM
Luna
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

In article ,
"S t a c i" wrote:

"Luna" wrote in message
...

Thanks. Yeah, I've been thinking about it. I went to therapy once, for a
few months, and I felt like it was a big waste of time. Just talking

about
stuff doesn't fix anything. And I don't even know what the "stuff" is that
I need to work through. I know I've dealt with stress and anxiety by

being
orally fixated at least since I was 4 years old, because that's when I
stopped chewing on my hair and moved to biting my nails. So it may be

that
this is just my personality.


To play devil's advocate here...maybe you don't have a sh*tload of "stuff"
that you need to overcome. Maybe things are just feeling really magnified
because of the dependency your body is fighting. The fact that you don't
even know what the "stuff" is that you need to work through makes me think
that you may not be laden with issues...

Just something to think about, of course. Something similar happens to my
sister every month with PMS. She is overcome with emotions over things that
she could normally tolerate.

S t a c i



Cool, ok. Yeah. Maybe this is a temporary problem. Honestly, I don't
think my anxieties are all that huge, comparatively. They just feel huge
to me, but there are plenty of people doing a better job of dealing with
much harder stuff than I am.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.
  #19  
Old August 25th, 2004, 08:59 AM
mimsy
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I'm a heavy smoker and about to join you in the ranks of a newly non-
smoker. I foresee what is happening with you happening to me also.

I've no idea if it will work..but the plan for me is to shift diet plans
when I quit. I'll be doing lower fat at that point. Reason being (and
this is assuming you don't have any insulin issues, cause if you do then
this plan won't work for you in the least bit)...is I'm guessing at some
emotional eating going on. So I can still watch calories during that
time..but munch away at carrot sticks, radishes, unbuttered popcorn,
raspberries and other reasonably low calorie foods like crazy (yes these
foods can be eaten on a low carb diet..but not in the quanity I
anticipate eating them at).
Once I'm over the main part of my smoking addictions (or it doesn't work
and I start gaining)..then I can get back to a more moderate-low carb
diet.

On the good side, by not gaining weight, you are succeeding doubly. You
may not feel that way, but you are none the less. When you quit smoking
your metabolism slows and even for those who do not eat more...it's not
uncommon to gain a few pounds.

Congratulations is in order even if you don't feel that way.

Kristine

In Luna
wrote:
There will be no hiding, no spinning, and no sugar-coating the truth
in this post.

If it wasn't for exercising, I would probably be halfway back to
regaining everything by now. I am about to smash through my first
month of smobriety. In laymen's terms, it's almost a month since I
quit smoking.

I have been doing really well on not smoking. One of the best, but
hardest things about quitting has been all these repressed emotions
coming to the surface. I knew I liked to smoke, I knew I was
physically addicted, but I had no idea that using nicotine was
actually a way to avoid feelings. Well, apparently it was, because
now I've turned into an emotional eater instead.

I do fine in the beginning of my day. I eat a normal, healthy, small
portioned low-carb meal before heading to my part time afternoon job.
I am fine at work. I resist partaking in the high-carb snacks. But
when I get home, it all falls apart. I start eating and I don't stop
until I go to sleep. I try to distract myself by going for a walk,
but I come back in and start eating again. I chew gum, but I spit
it out and start eating again. I try to butch up, and it works for
20 minutes or so, then I eat again. I eat until I am in pain. I
hate it. I hate it and I don't know how to stop. It's like part of
me wants to hurt myself, and part of me is standing there screaming
at that part to ****ing stop it, and I literally feel like I'm going
crazy.

I have a long list of the possible emotional reasons for why I am
eating, but I don't know where to start or even what to do about any
of them. I have been keeping a journal and writing everything down,
hoping it would be somehow cathartic, but it seems pointless. I've
always been someone who needs to actually do something productive and
pragmatic to solve problems, but there is nothing I can do to fix the
things I am upset about. Knowing I can't fix these things doesn't
make the pain stop though. I have to stop eating. I have to, or I
am just going to add one more problem.

But what then? I get the eating under control, and then what? I'll
start drinking? Doing heroin? I have to fix what's actually wrong,
but I don't know how.

  #20  
Old August 25th, 2004, 08:59 AM
mimsy
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I'm a heavy smoker and about to join you in the ranks of a newly non-
smoker. I foresee what is happening with you happening to me also.

I've no idea if it will work..but the plan for me is to shift diet plans
when I quit. I'll be doing lower fat at that point. Reason being (and
this is assuming you don't have any insulin issues, cause if you do then
this plan won't work for you in the least bit)...is I'm guessing at some
emotional eating going on. So I can still watch calories during that
time..but munch away at carrot sticks, radishes, unbuttered popcorn,
raspberries and other reasonably low calorie foods like crazy (yes these
foods can be eaten on a low carb diet..but not in the quanity I
anticipate eating them at).
Once I'm over the main part of my smoking addictions (or it doesn't work
and I start gaining)..then I can get back to a more moderate-low carb
diet.

On the good side, by not gaining weight, you are succeeding doubly. You
may not feel that way, but you are none the less. When you quit smoking
your metabolism slows and even for those who do not eat more...it's not
uncommon to gain a few pounds.

Congratulations is in order even if you don't feel that way.

Kristine

In Luna
wrote:
There will be no hiding, no spinning, and no sugar-coating the truth
in this post.

If it wasn't for exercising, I would probably be halfway back to
regaining everything by now. I am about to smash through my first
month of smobriety. In laymen's terms, it's almost a month since I
quit smoking.

I have been doing really well on not smoking. One of the best, but
hardest things about quitting has been all these repressed emotions
coming to the surface. I knew I liked to smoke, I knew I was
physically addicted, but I had no idea that using nicotine was
actually a way to avoid feelings. Well, apparently it was, because
now I've turned into an emotional eater instead.

I do fine in the beginning of my day. I eat a normal, healthy, small
portioned low-carb meal before heading to my part time afternoon job.
I am fine at work. I resist partaking in the high-carb snacks. But
when I get home, it all falls apart. I start eating and I don't stop
until I go to sleep. I try to distract myself by going for a walk,
but I come back in and start eating again. I chew gum, but I spit
it out and start eating again. I try to butch up, and it works for
20 minutes or so, then I eat again. I eat until I am in pain. I
hate it. I hate it and I don't know how to stop. It's like part of
me wants to hurt myself, and part of me is standing there screaming
at that part to ****ing stop it, and I literally feel like I'm going
crazy.

I have a long list of the possible emotional reasons for why I am
eating, but I don't know where to start or even what to do about any
of them. I have been keeping a journal and writing everything down,
hoping it would be somehow cathartic, but it seems pointless. I've
always been someone who needs to actually do something productive and
pragmatic to solve problems, but there is nothing I can do to fix the
things I am upset about. Knowing I can't fix these things doesn't
make the pain stop though. I have to stop eating. I have to, or I
am just going to add one more problem.

But what then? I get the eating under control, and then what? I'll
start drinking? Doing heroin? I have to fix what's actually wrong,
but I don't know how.

 




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