Falling apart

In article ,
mimsy wrote:

I'm a heavy smoker and about to join you in the ranks of a newly non-
smoker. I foresee what is happening with you happening to me also.

I've no idea if it will work..but the plan for me is to shift diet plans
when I quit. I'll be doing lower fat at that point. Reason being (and
this is assuming you don't have any insulin issues, cause if you do then
this plan won't work for you in the least bit)...is I'm guessing at some
emotional eating going on. So I can still watch calories during that
time..but munch away at carrot sticks, radishes, unbuttered popcorn,
raspberries and other reasonably low calorie foods like crazy (yes these
foods can be eaten on a low carb diet..but not in the quanity I
anticipate eating them at).
Once I'm over the main part of my smoking addictions (or it doesn't work
and I start gaining)..then I can get back to a more moderate-low carb
diet.

On the good side, by not gaining weight, you are succeeding doubly. You
may not feel that way, but you are none the less. When you quit smoking
your metabolism slows and even for those who do not eat more...it's not
uncommon to gain a few pounds.

Congratulations is in order even if you don't feel that way.

Kristine


Oh, thanks. I AM gaining weight. Or at least I was. I seemed to have
stopped and settled on an 8 pound gain, so far. I hope it stops there and
reverses, once I get my eating back under control.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

Your main problem is all the excuses.

--
You take stupid to a new level. -- MFW


"Luna" wrote in message
...
In article ,
"S t a c i" wrote:

"Luna" wrote in message
...

Thanks. Yeah, I've been thinking about it. I went to therapy once,
for a
few months, and I felt like it was a big waste of time. Just talking
about
stuff doesn't fix anything. And I don't even know what the "stuff" is
that
I need to work through. I know I've dealt with stress and anxiety by
being
orally fixated at least since I was 4 years old, because that's when I
stopped chewing on my hair and moved to biting my nails. So it may be
that
this is just my personality.


To play devil's advocate here...maybe you don't have a sh*tload of
"stuff"
that you need to overcome. Maybe things are just feeling really
magnified
because of the dependency your body is fighting. The fact that you
don't
even know what the "stuff" is that you need to work through makes me
think
that you may not be laden with issues...

Just something to think about, of course. Something similar happens to
my
sister every month with PMS. She is overcome with emotions over things
that
she could normally tolerate.

S t a c i



Cool, ok. Yeah. Maybe this is a temporary problem. Honestly, I don't
think my anxieties are all that huge, comparatively. They just feel huge
to me, but there are plenty of people doing a better job of dealing with
much harder stuff than I am.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

Your main problem is all the excuses.

--
You take stupid to a new level. -- MFW


"Luna" wrote in message
...
In article ,
"S t a c i" wrote:

"Luna" wrote in message
...

Thanks. Yeah, I've been thinking about it. I went to therapy once,
for a
few months, and I felt like it was a big waste of time. Just talking
about
stuff doesn't fix anything. And I don't even know what the "stuff" is
that
I need to work through. I know I've dealt with stress and anxiety by
being
orally fixated at least since I was 4 years old, because that's when I
stopped chewing on my hair and moved to biting my nails. So it may be
that
this is just my personality.


To play devil's advocate here...maybe you don't have a sh*tload of
"stuff"
that you need to overcome. Maybe things are just feeling really
magnified
because of the dependency your body is fighting. The fact that you
don't
even know what the "stuff" is that you need to work through makes me
think
that you may not be laden with issues...

Just something to think about, of course. Something similar happens to
my
sister every month with PMS. She is overcome with emotions over things
that
she could normally tolerate.

S t a c i



Cool, ok. Yeah. Maybe this is a temporary problem. Honestly, I don't
think my anxieties are all that huge, comparatively. They just feel huge
to me, but there are plenty of people doing a better job of dealing with
much harder stuff than I am.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

Luna wrote:
:: In article ,
:: mimsy wrote:
::
::: I'm a heavy smoker and about to join you in the ranks of a newly
::: non- smoker. I foresee what is happening with you happening to me
::: also.
:::
::: I've no idea if it will work..but the plan for me is to shift diet
::: plans when I quit. I'll be doing lower fat at that point. Reason
::: being (and this is assuming you don't have any insulin issues,
::: cause if you do then this plan won't work for you in the least
::: bit)...is I'm guessing at some emotional eating going on. So I can
::: still watch calories during that time..but munch away at carrot
::: sticks, radishes, unbuttered popcorn, raspberries and other
::: reasonably low calorie foods like crazy (yes these foods can be
::: eaten on a low carb diet..but not in the quanity I anticipate
::: eating them at).
::: Once I'm over the main part of my smoking addictions (or it doesn't
::: work and I start gaining)..then I can get back to a more
::: moderate-low carb diet.
:::
::: On the good side, by not gaining weight, you are succeeding doubly.
::: You may not feel that way, but you are none the less. When you
::: quit smoking your metabolism slows and even for those who do not
::: eat more...it's not uncommon to gain a few pounds.
:::
::: Congratulations is in order even if you don't feel that way.
:::
::: Kristine
:::
::
:: Oh, thanks. I AM gaining weight. Or at least I was. I seemed to
:: have stopped and settled on an 8 pound gain, so far. I hope it
:: stops there and reverses, once I get my eating back under control.

If your weight training routine is any good, some of that may be muscle and
LBM. So things might not be as bad as them seem.

Luna wrote:
:: In article ,
:: mimsy wrote:
::
::: I'm a heavy smoker and about to join you in the ranks of a newly
::: non- smoker. I foresee what is happening with you happening to me
::: also.
:::
::: I've no idea if it will work..but the plan for me is to shift diet
::: plans when I quit. I'll be doing lower fat at that point. Reason
::: being (and this is assuming you don't have any insulin issues,
::: cause if you do then this plan won't work for you in the least
::: bit)...is I'm guessing at some emotional eating going on. So I can
::: still watch calories during that time..but munch away at carrot
::: sticks, radishes, unbuttered popcorn, raspberries and other
::: reasonably low calorie foods like crazy (yes these foods can be
::: eaten on a low carb diet..but not in the quanity I anticipate
::: eating them at).
::: Once I'm over the main part of my smoking addictions (or it doesn't
::: work and I start gaining)..then I can get back to a more
::: moderate-low carb diet.
:::
::: On the good side, by not gaining weight, you are succeeding doubly.
::: You may not feel that way, but you are none the less. When you
::: quit smoking your metabolism slows and even for those who do not
::: eat more...it's not uncommon to gain a few pounds.
:::
::: Congratulations is in order even if you don't feel that way.
:::
::: Kristine
:::
::
:: Oh, thanks. I AM gaining weight. Or at least I was. I seemed to
:: have stopped and settled on an 8 pound gain, so far. I hope it
:: stops there and reverses, once I get my eating back under control.

If your weight training routine is any good, some of that may be muscle and
LBM. So things might not be as bad as them seem.

Staci wrote: Michelle - two comments for you...

1. You say that it "all falls apart" once you get home...maybe you should
make plans to get out of the house. I have a good friend who sometimes gets
into negative patterns at the end of the day when she's home, so she makes
all kinds of plans to keep her out of the house until she's feeling more
stable.
BRBR


That would be my suggestion. Michelle, you say on your website that you are
interested in graphic design. Why not take an art or design course at one of
the colleges in Atlanta, something really fun or challenging.

I find I do better when I'm busy with interesting stuff and I do worse when I
am bored or have difficult tasks to do. Also, there are times when it is
useful to be obsessed with dieting and times when it is not. Perhaps you need
to change your focus.

Staci wrote: Michelle - two comments for you...

1. You say that it "all falls apart" once you get home...maybe you should
make plans to get out of the house. I have a good friend who sometimes gets
into negative patterns at the end of the day when she's home, so she makes
all kinds of plans to keep her out of the house until she's feeling more
stable.
BRBR


That would be my suggestion. Michelle, you say on your website that you are
interested in graphic design. Why not take an art or design course at one of
the colleges in Atlanta, something really fun or challenging.

I find I do better when I'm busy with interesting stuff and I do worse when I
am bored or have difficult tasks to do. Also, there are times when it is
useful to be obsessed with dieting and times when it is not. Perhaps you need
to change your focus.

"Luna" wrote in message
...
There will be no hiding, no spinning, and no sugar-coating the truth in
this post.

If it wasn't for exercising, I would probably be halfway back to regaining
everything by now. I am about to smash through my first month of
smobriety.
In laymen's terms, it's almost a month since I quit smoking.

I have been doing really well on not smoking. One of the best, but
hardest
things about quitting has been all these repressed emotions coming to the
surface. I knew I liked to smoke, I knew I was physically addicted, but I
had no idea that using nicotine was actually a way to avoid feelings.
Well, apparently it was, because now I've turned into an emotional eater
instead.

I do fine in the beginning of my day. I eat a normal, healthy, small
portioned low-carb meal before heading to my part time afternoon job. I
am
fine at work. I resist partaking in the high-carb snacks. But when I get
home, it all falls apart. I start eating and I don't stop until I go to
sleep. I try to distract myself by going for a walk, but I come back in
and start eating again. I chew gum, but I spit it out and start eating
again. I try to butch up, and it works for 20 minutes or so, then I eat
again. I eat until I am in pain. I hate it. I hate it and I don't
know
how to stop. It's like part of me wants to hurt myself, and part of me is
standing there screaming at that part to ****ing stop it, and I literally
feel like I'm going crazy.

I have a long list of the possible emotional reasons for why I am eating,
but I don't know where to start or even what to do about any of them. I
have been keeping a journal and writing everything down, hoping it would
be
somehow cathartic, but it seems pointless. I've always been someone who
needs to actually do something productive and pragmatic to solve problems,
but there is nothing I can do to fix the things I am upset about. Knowing
I can't fix these things doesn't make the pain stop though. I have to
stop
eating. I have to, or I am just going to add one more problem.

But what then? I get the eating under control, and then what? I'll start
drinking? Doing heroin? I have to fix what's actually wrong, but I don't
know how.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.


Dear Michelle,

I don't know if I am able to help, but these are just a few of my thoughts
on it.

I really believe that what you are experiencing is the nicotine withdrawal.
Your body WANTS something, and you are refusing it the nicotine, so you go
for the next best thing which is food. It still doesn't satisfy the craving
for nicotine, so you go for more food.

You need to recognize first of all that it is actual nicotine craving that
is doing this to you, and label it as such every time you feel it. This
will help you to rationalize it and draw strength from knowing it for what
it is. Food won't satisfy it, but it is like a reflex to try and satisfy
it with food.

Next is to lay in a LOT of healthy snacks for evenings. My worst time is
in the evening also. I could be "good" all day, then come evening I am into
whatever is available. Make sure that what is available isn't going to
hurt you.

Maybe you could even go so far as to make up a munchie platter of low carb
and healthy snacks. Make a conscious effort to chew VERY slowly and allow
spaces in between snacks.

My son found some help from Nicotine patches. He saved money on them by
buying the heaviest strength and cutting them with a scissor to the strength
he wanted. You might want to put a patch on in time to kick in before your
evening binge time.

Go for a long walk, do something that prevents you from thinking about food
or anything else. Maybe do some craft, paint a picture, sew something
complicated, do anything you can to take your mind off it.

Don't make the mistake of thinking it is a psychological problem, when what
you are really dealing with is the ACTUAL PHYSICAL addiction to a substance
called nicotine, that has been called "more addicting than crack cocaine".

The good news is that it will get less and less and less over time.....but
it will take a long time.

--
Regards,
Evelyn

(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox")

"Luna" wrote in message
...
There will be no hiding, no spinning, and no sugar-coating the truth in
this post.

If it wasn't for exercising, I would probably be halfway back to regaining
everything by now. I am about to smash through my first month of
smobriety.
In laymen's terms, it's almost a month since I quit smoking.

I have been doing really well on not smoking. One of the best, but
hardest
things about quitting has been all these repressed emotions coming to the
surface. I knew I liked to smoke, I knew I was physically addicted, but I
had no idea that using nicotine was actually a way to avoid feelings.
Well, apparently it was, because now I've turned into an emotional eater
instead.

I do fine in the beginning of my day. I eat a normal, healthy, small
portioned low-carb meal before heading to my part time afternoon job. I
am
fine at work. I resist partaking in the high-carb snacks. But when I get
home, it all falls apart. I start eating and I don't stop until I go to
sleep. I try to distract myself by going for a walk, but I come back in
and start eating again. I chew gum, but I spit it out and start eating
again. I try to butch up, and it works for 20 minutes or so, then I eat
again. I eat until I am in pain. I hate it. I hate it and I don't
know
how to stop. It's like part of me wants to hurt myself, and part of me is
standing there screaming at that part to ****ing stop it, and I literally
feel like I'm going crazy.

I have a long list of the possible emotional reasons for why I am eating,
but I don't know where to start or even what to do about any of them. I
have been keeping a journal and writing everything down, hoping it would
be
somehow cathartic, but it seems pointless. I've always been someone who
needs to actually do something productive and pragmatic to solve problems,
but there is nothing I can do to fix the things I am upset about. Knowing
I can't fix these things doesn't make the pain stop though. I have to
stop
eating. I have to, or I am just going to add one more problem.

But what then? I get the eating under control, and then what? I'll start
drinking? Doing heroin? I have to fix what's actually wrong, but I don't
know how.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.


Dear Michelle,

I don't know if I am able to help, but these are just a few of my thoughts
on it.

I really believe that what you are experiencing is the nicotine withdrawal.
Your body WANTS something, and you are refusing it the nicotine, so you go
for the next best thing which is food. It still doesn't satisfy the craving
for nicotine, so you go for more food.

You need to recognize first of all that it is actual nicotine craving that
is doing this to you, and label it as such every time you feel it. This
will help you to rationalize it and draw strength from knowing it for what
it is. Food won't satisfy it, but it is like a reflex to try and satisfy
it with food.

Next is to lay in a LOT of healthy snacks for evenings. My worst time is
in the evening also. I could be "good" all day, then come evening I am into
whatever is available. Make sure that what is available isn't going to
hurt you.

Maybe you could even go so far as to make up a munchie platter of low carb
and healthy snacks. Make a conscious effort to chew VERY slowly and allow
spaces in between snacks.

My son found some help from Nicotine patches. He saved money on them by
buying the heaviest strength and cutting them with a scissor to the strength
he wanted. You might want to put a patch on in time to kick in before your
evening binge time.

Go for a long walk, do something that prevents you from thinking about food
or anything else. Maybe do some craft, paint a picture, sew something
complicated, do anything you can to take your mind off it.

Don't make the mistake of thinking it is a psychological problem, when what
you are really dealing with is the ACTUAL PHYSICAL addiction to a substance
called nicotine, that has been called "more addicting than crack cocaine".

The good news is that it will get less and less and less over time.....but
it will take a long time.

--
Regards,
Evelyn

(to reply to me personally, remove 'sox")

Luna wrote:

(The Queen of Cans and Jars) wrote:
Luna wrote:
(The Queen of Cans and Jars) wrote:


therapy.

not kidding, not being sarcastic, NOT PICKING ON YOU. ok?

get some help. you don't have to keep going forever. just use it to
work through this stuff.

Thanks. Yeah, I've been thinking about it. I went to therapy once,
for a few months, and I felt like it was a big waste of time. Just
talking about stuff doesn't fix anything. And I don't even know what
the "stuff" is that I need to work through. I know I've dealt with
stress and anxiety by being orally fixated at least since I was 4
years old, because that's when I stopped chewing on my hair and moved
to biting my nails. So it may be that this is just my personality.

therapy isn't necessarily "just talking about stuff" and if you didn't
get anything out of it the first time, you probably weren't working with
the right person.

True. I didn't get a choice though.

yeah, well, you're an adult now and you do have a choice. you can dwell
on the past or you can move forward and try to do something to solve
this problem that's obviously bothering you so much. i don't get the
impression that you have enough insight to do it on your own, so that's
why i recommend an outside source of help in the form of therapy.

it may indeed be that it's just your personality. you could try st.
john's wort or 5htp on your own if you wanted to. 5htp has been helpful
for me in that it has almost completely eliminated my desire to overeat.
mind you, i quit smoking sixteen years ago so i wasn't battling that.
still, it's helped. you can google for more information about both
supplements.

i think it's a deeper problem, though, and that self-medication isn't
what you need. you need to find out *why* you do this to yourself so
that you can take action to stop it, not just try to placate it into
some semblance of submission. it's obvious that you know better than to
stuff your face but you are unable, for whatever reason, to stop
yourself from doing it. i don't think just popping a pill is the way to
solve a problem like that. i think it's a behavior that you've learned,
and if you can learn it you can *unlearn* it, too. how to unlearn it is
something you'll have to figure out for yourself, and a good therapist
can help you with that.


Well, like I said before, the oral fixation has been a lifelong problem.
This compulsive eating is relatively new though, just since I quit smoking.
I mean, yeah, I overate before, but it was at regular mealtimes and it was
when I felt hungry. This isn't.

you say you don't know how to stop but it's as simple as NOT PUTTING
FOOD IN YOUR MOUTH. it's not that *easy,* but it is that *simple.*
maybe not putting food in your mouth will make you miserable in the
short term, but i guarantee you that if you continue to stuff your
piehole you're gonna be much more miserable in the long run. sit on
your hands if you have to.

it sucks, what's happening, but it's not the end of the world. you'll
find a way to deal with it. just don't start smoking again.


Maybe it's temporary. I hope it is. I'm not going to start smoking again,
no matter what.

good.