service

When I was 300+ I would be treated like poop by people. I particularly
remember one incident at a fast food burger chain. I was next to order,
standing at the register and the clerk got into a discussion about breaks
and stupid stuff with the manager. They went on for about 5 minutes. I got
mad and told them what I thought of them, and then I left the restaurant.
This was just a worst case, of a common scenario. I would be next and a
store clerk would decide to pick up a call on hold on their phone, or a bank
clerk would start doing her organizing of receipt papers and checks, while I
stand there being ignored. People were rude.

I mention this gripe because of something that happened last night. I was
dining out with friends at a Mexican restaurant. The server brought my
Carne Asada and put it down a bit askew in front of me (the plate was hot).
the waitress for our table hurried over and readjusted the plate placement
and at the same time she retrieved my napkin from under the dish and placed
it properly beside the plate. a moment later the server was back with a
replacement napkin and a serrated steak knife. I hadn't asked for anything
or complained. They seemed to be competing over providing me service.
Their treatment of my friends was just routine. I seemed to be singled out
for all this service. (My friends are still a bit obese.)

I attribute all of this to how people behave based on personal appearance.
In a college Psychology class (about 1976) I remember being lectured that
the most important factor in happiness was personal appearance. (not an
exact quote, but I think I'm remembering it right) I had thought it was an
odd thing to be said in a formal class lecture. Out of that entire
semester class, it is the one thing that I remember and think about a
quarter century later.

Cubit
311/175.8/165

Cubit wrote:

When I was 300+ I would be treated like poop by people. I particularly
remember one incident at a fast food burger chain. I was next to order,
standing at the register and the clerk got into a discussion about breaks
and stupid stuff with the manager. They went on for about 5 minutes. I got
mad and told them what I thought of them, and then I left the restaurant.
This was just a worst case, of a common scenario. I would be next and a
store clerk would decide to pick up a call on hold on their phone, or a bank
clerk would start doing her organizing of receipt papers and checks, while I
stand there being ignored. People were rude.

That's happened to me many times, no matter
whether I was thin, fat, or in between. The
service industry has taken a crap. IMVHO, a lot
of what people think is prejudice is imagined
because of their own poor self image (that is not
meant to insult anyone). I remember reading a
newspaper column where a black woman wrote that a
white businessman who passed her while coming out
of door never looked at her, he just stared ahead.
That has also happened to me many times and I
thought nothing of it. I was astounded at her
conclusion that he did that solely because she was
black.

Marsha/Ohio

"Cubit" wrote in message
. com...
When I was 300+ I would be treated like poop by people.

I'm not sure it's weight, but perhaps general appearance. When you're (or
I'm) very heavy it's hard to look good - clothes are a problem as is
self-image. When your body looks good it's easy to dress it well and people
judge on appearance.

Anthony wrote:
: "Cubit" wrote in message
: . com...
: When I was 300+ I would be treated like poop by people.
:
: I'm not sure it's weight, but perhaps general appearance. When
: you're (or I'm) very heavy it's hard to look good - clothes are a
: problem as is self-image. When your body looks good it's easy to
: dress it well and people judge on appearance.

I weighed 367 lbs and wait staff never treated me poorly. There are plenty
of other reasons to be treated poorly.

Cubit wrote:

When I was 300+ I would be treated like poop by people. I particularly
remember one incident at a fast food burger chain. I was next to order,
standing at the register and the clerk got into a discussion about breaks
and stupid stuff with the manager. They went on for about 5 minutes. I got
mad and told them what I thought of them, and then I left the restaurant.
This was just a worst case, of a common scenario. I would be next and a
store clerk would decide to pick up a call on hold on their phone, or a bank
clerk would start doing her organizing of receipt papers and checks, while I
stand there being ignored. People were rude.

I mention this gripe because of something that happened last night. I was
dining out with friends at a Mexican restaurant. The server brought my
Carne Asada and put it down a bit askew in front of me (the plate was hot).
the waitress for our table hurried over and readjusted the plate placement
and at the same time she retrieved my napkin from under the dish and placed
it properly beside the plate. a moment later the server was back with a
replacement napkin and a serrated steak knife. I hadn't asked for anything
or complained. They seemed to be competing over providing me service.
Their treatment of my friends was just routine. I seemed to be singled out
for all this service. (My friends are still a bit obese.)

I attribute all of this to how people behave based on personal appearance.
In a college Psychology class (about 1976) I remember being lectured that
the most important factor in happiness was personal appearance. (not an
exact quote, but I think I'm remembering it right) I had thought it was an
odd thing to be said in a formal class lecture. Out of that entire
semester class, it is the one thing that I remember and think about a
quarter century later.

Cubit
311/175.8/165




John Molloy, in his old book "Dress for Success" @1988 describes the
importance of appearance in getting service.

He relates mostly to the clothes worn.

Another poster pointed out that while some obese people complain of poor
service, this was never a problem with the other poster and that his
opinion was that there would be other things besides appearance that
initiate poor service.

I have a friend who has lived mostly a sheltered life with little real
contact with the social world, and often little understanding of
contacts with the workings of the world.

He complains constantly about poor slow service at this one eatery.

I have never had poor service there.

Attitude...... will get you poor service. He seems to never be able to
smile at servers, and smiles very little anyway. I smile readily and
chat up the transaction, and sometimes get discounted prices. There
could be an unpublicised Senior discount???

Obesity probably does get some poor service from some servers. But
Attitude and appearence will also promote poor service.

"jbuch" wrote in message
...
John Molloy, in his old book "Dress for Success" @1988 describes the
importance of appearance in getting service.

He relates mostly to the clothes worn.

Another poster pointed out that while some obese people complain of poor
service, this was never a problem with the other poster and that his
opinion was that there would be other things besides appearance that
initiate poor service.

I have a friend who has lived mostly a sheltered life with little real
contact with the social world, and often little understanding of
contacts with the workings of the world.

He complains constantly about poor slow service at this one eatery.

I have never had poor service there.

Attitude...... will get you poor service. He seems to never be able to
smile at servers, and smiles very little anyway. I smile readily and
chat up the transaction, and sometimes get discounted prices. There
could be an unpublicised Senior discount???

Obesity probably does get some poor service from some servers. But
Attitude and appearence will also promote poor service.

I googled "discrimination against fat people" and spent some time learning
that this is not a small problem. In just about every area of society and
in all types of personal interactions.

I make it a point not to live in the past and relive bad experiences, or I
could relate some hair-raisers. It's amazing how people think they have the
right to be not only impolite or insensitive, but downright rude to the
obese.

--
Sherry
360/?/195
LC since 4/4/05

jbuch wrote:
: Cubit wrote:
:
: When I was 300+ I would be treated like poop by people. I
: particularly remember one incident at a fast food burger chain. I
: was next to order, standing at the register and the clerk got into
: a discussion about breaks and stupid stuff with the manager. They
: went on for about 5 minutes. I got mad and told them what I
: thought of them, and then I left the restaurant. This was just a
: worst case, of a common scenario. I would be next and a store
: clerk would decide to pick up a call on hold on their phone, or a
: bank clerk would start doing her organizing of receipt papers and
: checks, while I stand there being ignored. People were rude.
:
: I mention this gripe because of something that happened last
: night. I was dining out with friends at a Mexican restaurant.
: The server brought my Carne Asada and put it down a bit askew in
: front of me (the plate was hot). the waitress for our table
: hurried over and readjusted the plate placement and at the same
: time she retrieved my napkin from under the dish and placed it
: properly beside the plate. a moment later the server was back
: with a replacement napkin and a serrated steak knife. I hadn't
: asked for anything or complained. They seemed to be competing
: over providing me service. Their treatment of my friends was just
: routine. I seemed to be singled out for all this service. (My
: friends are still a bit obese.)
:
: I attribute all of this to how people behave based on personal
: appearance. In a college Psychology class (about 1976) I remember
: being lectured that the most important factor in happiness was
: personal appearance. (not an exact quote, but I think I'm
: remembering it right) I had thought it was an odd thing to be
: said in a formal class lecture. Out of that entire semester
: class, it is the one thing that I remember and think about a
: quarter century later.
:
: Cubit
: 311/175.8/165
:
:
:
:
: John Molloy, in his old book "Dress for Success" @1988 describes the
: importance of appearance in getting service.
:
: He relates mostly to the clothes worn.
:
: Another poster pointed out that while some obese people complain of
: poor service, this was never a problem with the other poster and
: that his
: opinion was that there would be other things besides appearance that
: initiate poor service.
:
: I have a friend who has lived mostly a sheltered life with little
: real contact with the social world, and often little understanding of
: contacts with the workings of the world.
:
: He complains constantly about poor slow service at this one eatery.
:
: I have never had poor service there.
:
: Attitude...... will get you poor service. He seems to never be able
: to
: smile at servers, and smiles very little anyway. I smile readily and
: chat up the transaction, and sometimes get discounted prices. There
: could be an unpublicised Senior discount???
:
: Obesity probably does get some poor service from some servers. But
: Attitude and appearence will also promote poor service.

A smile is a powerful tool when used smartly. And obese people need not have
poor appearence.

I agree with the attitude thought. If you feel good you hold yourself up
higher and it is reflected in how others treat you. New slim clothes and
shoes and you walk like a new person. Go to the store ungroomed in sloppy
sweats and relive the invisabibe treatment.

Pecking order: ever observe a hen house? I had the proudest rooster who had
possibly gotten sick. after that time he was literally hen pecked to where I
needed to relocate him.

If we were in a accident, who really would be treated first if we were
equally injured? I'd really worry about the large person being left for
later-

Diane

"Sherry" wrote in message
...

"jbuch" wrote in message
...
[snip]
Obesity probably does get some poor service from some servers. But
Attitude and appearence will also promote poor service.

I googled "discrimination against fat people" and spent some time learning
that this is not a small problem. In just about every area of society and
in all types of personal interactions.

I make it a point not to live in the past and relive bad experiences, or I
could relate some hair-raisers. It's amazing how people think they have
the
right to be not only impolite or insensitive, but downright rude to the
obese.

--
Sherry
360/?/195
LC since 4/4/05

Perhaps there is some variation in the discrimination against the obese
depending on the region one lives in.

PBS recently had a show regarding gene and beauty. Basically, the researchers
said, it is in our gene to judge beauty which usually means "healthy to have
healthy offsprings".

I still remember my kids(when he is around 3 years old) who was scared by his
uncle's appearance.

I guess, healthy, happy, beauty are all related.

On Sat, 07 May 2005 19:04:35 GMT, "Cubit" wrote:

=When I was 300+ I would be treated like poop by people. I particularly
=remember one incident at a fast food burger chain. I was next to order,
=standing at the register and the clerk got into a discussion about breaks
=and stupid stuff with the manager. They went on for about 5 minutes. I got
=mad and told them what I thought of them, and then I left the restaurant.
=This was just a worst case, of a common scenario. I would be next and a
=store clerk would decide to pick up a call on hold on their phone, or a bank
=clerk would start doing her organizing of receipt papers and checks, while I
=stand there being ignored. People were rude.
=
=I mention this gripe because of something that happened last night. I was
=dining out with friends at a Mexican restaurant. The server brought my
=Carne Asada and put it down a bit askew in front of me (the plate was hot).
=the waitress for our table hurried over and readjusted the plate placement
=and at the same time she retrieved my napkin from under the dish and placed
=it properly beside the plate. a moment later the server was back with a
=replacement napkin and a serrated steak knife. I hadn't asked for anything
=or complained. They seemed to be competing over providing me service.
=Their treatment of my friends was just routine. I seemed to be singled out
=for all this service. (My friends are still a bit obese.)
=
=I attribute all of this to how people behave based on personal appearance.
=In a college Psychology class (about 1976) I remember being lectured that
=the most important factor in happiness was personal appearance. (not an
=exact quote, but I think I'm remembering it right) I had thought it was an
=odd thing to be said in a formal class lecture. Out of that entire
=semester class, it is the one thing that I remember and think about a
=quarter century later.
=
=Cubit
=311/175.8/165
=
=