I Walk the Line

Walking the line? Sometimes I step over it.

Midnight: the dog wakes me. I check the fridge to see if anything has
been added. It has not but I have 1/4 cup of yogurt, some diluted
orange juice a half slice of Swiss cheese, and a big slice of guilt.

Hardly what we usually consider a binge around here.

The scale is back up a pound this morning. To uptight me it is as
visible as an elephant strolling down our street.

The main thing spring brings is hope and winter removes it. It is a
sort of free floating emotional thing that impacts your serotonin and
emotions but unless you get your ass in gear the hope remains buoyed up
for only so long.(usually until summer)

I awoke this morning with the usual Seinfeld crap, same old, same old.
The weather is still frigid and scheduled to remain so all week.
Whether eighty pounds overweight or three, concerns about weight are
extreme, overriding and perpetual. A near perfect day requires losing
or maintaining a weight loss no matter how miniscule.

It started when I was eight and sixty-seven years later it's still ever
present at times whether I weigh 139 or 219 or somewhere a little over
139.

My hair color changed, my tax bracket changed, and once within twenty
five years, my phone number changed, but despite all the intellectual
conditioning my hangup and emotional position about my weight has never
changed even when my weight changed.

maybe what I really need to lose is the frontal brain lobe!! :-(

--
Diva
*****
Hostile cooperation is at the core of passive-aggression,

"Carol Frilegh" wrote in message
...

My hair color changed, my tax bracket changed, and once within twenty
five years, my phone number changed, but despite all the intellectual
conditioning my hangup and emotional position about my weight has never
changed even when my weight changed.

maybe what I really need to lose is the frontal brain lobe!! :-(

--
Diva


please leave your frontal brain lobe alone!
perhaps you could talk to your doctor about this obsession? throw out your
damn scale?
do you want to live out the rest of your life obsessing about your weight?
rosie

In article ,
readandpostrosie wrote:

"Carol Frilegh" wrote in message
...

My hair color changed, my tax bracket changed, and once within twenty
five years, my phone number changed, but despite all the intellectual
conditioning my hangup and emotional position about my weight has never
changed even when my weight changed.

maybe what I really need to lose is the frontal brain lobe!! :-(

--
Diva


please leave your frontal brain lobe alone!
perhaps you could talk to your doctor about this obsession? throw out your
damn scale?
do you want to live out the rest of your life obsessing about your weight?
rosie

Can you be told not to imagine an elephant is in the room?

In article ,
readandpostrosie wrote:

"Carol Frilegh" wrote in message
...

My hair color changed, my tax bracket changed, and once within twenty
five years, my phone number changed, but despite all the intellectual
conditioning my hangup and emotional position about my weight has never
changed even when my weight changed.

maybe what I really need to lose is the frontal brain lobe!! :-(

--
Diva


please leave your frontal brain lobe alone!
perhaps you could talk to your doctor about this obsession? throw out your
damn scale?
do you want to live out the rest of your life obsessing about your weight?
rosie

Rosie,
I am puzzled by your suggestion. 95% of those who lose weight regain
it. I lost a lot of weight and have had major gains and losses
throughout my lifetime. The past six years are the longest period my
weight has remained stable.

I have been on ASD since 1996. Being involved with the group helped me
reach my goal and daily R&P has helped me maintain watchfulness and
take action when required.

I got below my goal and was too thin and drawn at 136 punds for my age.
I have tried to remain in the low 140's and set a mark of 145 as the
one that should not be exceeded. Recently, my weight jumped to 147 and
I got right to work and will get back to where iI belong, comfortable
and no skinny Minny. This would not happen if I did not exert control.
Maintenance requires vigilance and motivation. Being predisposed to
obesity requires a fair amount. I am unhappy when I gain weight, and
content at a realistic, reasonable and healthy weight despite exposing
my supermodel dreams. (I could never bikini wax :-)

If my comfort zone is only three or four pounds away, it can be
managed. Ignoring this will undo all my hard work which has been
rewarding.

I have other interests in life, my dogs, my support group for autism, a
fun group for soaps, the family, movies, creative writing, my book
club and cooking classes etc. Dieting may be a big thing in my life but
it is not the only thing!

You have made me wonder how important the weight issue is to other
veteran members on ASD who have been successful with weight loss and
maintenance?

--
Diva
********
Completing 6 years of maintenance

Can you be told not to imagine an elephant is in the room?

diva,
i don't want to miss your point here, but i seem to be.
please explain this.

I have other interests in life, my dogs, my support group for autism, a
fun group for soaps, the family, movies, creative writing, my book
club and cooking classes etc. Dieting may be a big thing in my life but
it is not the only thing!



that is good to read...............................

In article ,
readandpostrosie wrote:

Can you be told not to imagine an elephant is in the room?

diva,
i don't want to miss your point here, but i seem to be.
please explain this.

You have asked me to ask a doctor to help me be less conscious about
something I need and want to have fairly high awareness of even if it
includes disproportionate concern.

Today I did "Just walk away Renee" But here I am blogging instead of
jogging!

Got away from the iMac, TV, Book of the month, inane phone chat and
Talk Radio and took myself to The Art Gallery of Ontario (and climbed
numerous subway stairs in the process).

The old masters and their fat mistresses are currently in storage as
the gallery is undergoing a "transformation" by leading architect Frank
Gehry who is from Toronto.

Only three exhibits are on view because of this extensive face lift
currently taking place.

Gehry's stunning and curvacious bent steel sculptured buildings that
rock and lean In Boston, Chicago, Prague, L.A. and Spain (except for
the Toronto Art gallery project which is just plain boring). Henry
Moore's substantial curvaceous sculptures made me feel positively
petite and cheerful works by Canadian impressionist David Milne were a
reminder that yes Virginia, even in Canada there will be spring..

Never mind soul food! This food for the soul totally occupied both mind
and appestat for three hours. I was very hungry, ate an early dinner
and need to close the kitchen until bedtime, four hours from now...and
plan more escapes from Kitsch and kitchen.

--
Diva
****
Lack of actions leads to no desired changes

I'm VERY GLAD to 'see' how very human
that you are Carol !! :)
I have learned to be creative since coming to ASD! I think that I've
been Grandma Moses as I've NEVER sketched nor painted until about
four years ago! Now I sketch and I love this! Plus I paint. I have some
great books from the MASTERS!!
Carol, you have inspired me often:)
Also you have sometimes kicked my butt and it was OFTEN needed !
glo