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Misery! - Continuing Adventures of the Hiking Historian

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Old December 24th, 2006, 01:37 AM posted to alt.support.diet
The Historian
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Posts: 750
Default Neil and His Bicycle - A Drama in One Incredible Act.


I intended to go hiking today, but I took a "road less traveled":

(Gold's Gym, Royersford. A fat chess historian is lifting. He sees a
gym member exit and hop on his bike.)

Neil: Hey, where'd you get the bike?

Gym member: A place called Bikesport in Trappe. See ya! (He pedals

Neil: Hmm. Trappe isn't that far from here. I could stop on the way to
Valley Forge Park, spend a few minutes, and then go hiking.

(The scene shifts uneasily to Bikesport in Trappe. All the employees
are young enough to be The Historian's children. He approaches one of
the kids.)

Neil: Could you help me, please? I haven't ridden a bicycle since I was
ten, and that was a 15 dollar Huffy. I understand bikes may have
improved over the past three decades. I'd just like to spend a couple
of minutes looking, and I'm not ready to buy yet.

Employee: OK.

Neil: Do these things still come with baskets in the front?

(She shows The Historian a few bikes. Two and a half hours go by.)

Neil: I really like this Trek Navigator 3.0. It seems stable, and the
seat is nearly as wide as my own. I'm not ready to buy yet, but I'll be
back in a few months.

Employee: We have a sale ending today, and financing is available.

Neil: Financing? A sale? (A smile crosses his face.) Let's ride!

Neil, the Hik, err, Biking Historian

Mate, you'll never look back, I rate buying my bike a real turning
point in the whole weight loss journey. It will take a while to build
confidence & fitness but once you do you'll wonder how you ever lived
without one.
As they say in the classics, its just like riding a bike!

I got the bike. Bikesport was having their holiday open house, but
despite that, the staff spent a great deal of time with me going over
the operation of the gears, the brakes, etc. Peter was especially
helpful, and walked me through a few minutes of balancing practice in
the parking lot. I managed to pedal a few feet without losing balance
or control. I need a lot of practice, but I'm going to be OK, I think.
I can ride!

Pictures are coming soon, once I find someone with a digital camera.



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