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I Feel So Rotten :(



 
 
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  #11  
Old October 13th, 2003, 05:37 AM
Priscilla Ballou
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Default I Feel So Rotten :(

In article ,
Damsel in dis Dress wrote:

Does anyone have advice for dealing with eating to console my sorrow? It
doesn't work. It only makes me feel worse. But somehow, I can't see that
when I start shoveling the crap in.


Carol, have you considered getting some talk therapy to work on how
you're using food, specifically carbs? I imagine you're on meds for
your bipolar disorder, but this might be helped with some one-on-one.

Priscilla
  #12  
Old October 13th, 2003, 05:39 AM
Frenchy
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Default I Feel So Rotten :(


"Damsel in dis Dress" wrote in message
...
Every day, I start out low-carb. Almost every day, low-carb falls by the
wayside at some point. Even when I got on the scale this morning, and
weighed 200 pounds again, I still crashed and burned late this afternoon.

As a lot of you know, I'm bipolar. One of my ongoing problems is that,
nearly every afternoon or early evening, I'm plunged into an intolerable
depression. My historical way of dealing with this has been to turn to
comfort foods.

snip

Ah Damsel, that sure is bad. If it is afternoons/evenings always, there seems some
imbalance. Have you been tested for the FULL range of Thyroid tests?

Getting the "bad" stuff out of the house is the only way. The SO has to help in this and
forego his stash of "stuff". It cannot be in your reach smile

Frenchy


  #13  
Old October 13th, 2003, 05:41 AM
Damsel in dis Dress
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Default I Feel So Rotten :(

On Mon, 13 Oct 2003 04:24:09 GMT, Luna
wrote:

Well, hmm. Are you actually hungry when you're eating the crap? I mean,
is it meal time and this is what you decide to have, or are you not hungry
at all and just looking for a distraction from pain? Because, of course,
if you really are hungry and it is time to eat, well . . . eat something
yummy and good for you. But it sounds like you mean you're using these
foods as medication and not as nutrition. I'm not bipolar, but I've been
through plenty of crap in my life from my mom dying when I was a kid to
that nasty unhealthy relationship I made public on this group a while back,
and I can tell you some of the things that not only distract me from pain
but also make me feel a bit better.


Nope, I'm not really hungry when I eat the crap. Tonight, before going
insane, I'd had a chicken breast and some pepperoni. No veggies, which I
think is a lot of my problem. If I were eating my veggies like a good
girl, I'd be too full to eat crap. Note to self: Eat your damned veggies!

Cleaning: with a bad back this may be a problem, but even sitting and
organizing photos or the junk drawers can be really therapeutic for me. It
calms me and when it's done I feel a sense of accomplishment and a sense of
peace that one more area of clutter in my life is under control.


I've been hanging a lot of pictures, and going through "some" boxes. It
does give a feeling of accomplishment.

Writing: I write poetry, letters that I'll never mail, and just random
thoughts.


I have lots of online friends I could be keeping in better touch with. I
do spend a lot of evenings on the IRC, with friends I have from
rec.food.cooking. Very nice bunch of people.

Arts and crafts: I don't know if you're into this, but if you are, do some
decoupage or make some jewelry or paint something. If you're not into
crafts yet, try it. It's not about talent, it's about playing.


I used to do counted cross-stitch, but since I got bifocals, I just can't
see properly to do it. I'll have to find a craft shop somewhere, and find
myself another hobby, huh?

I also enjoy word games, jigsaw puzzles, and origami. These are things I
would do in the long, late, quiet hours at work when my mind would start to
wander to subjects I didn't want to think about, like my ex. I'd get
really involved in a logic problem and the time would fly by and no tears
would be shed, and no obsessive phone calls would be made.


I've been playing computer solitaire to the exclusion of almost everything
else, the past few days. Other times, I get obsessed with Mah Jong. I
wish I could play this stuff on a table, but we have a cat. 'Nuff said.

I have come to face the fact that I will never be free of addictions and/or
obsessions. Some are longer lived than others, and some are healthier
than others, but the trick is to replace the unhealthy ones with healthy or
at least harmless ones. I don't try to fight the fact that I have a
tendancy to periodically get obsessed with things, it's part of my
personality. But I do try to make sure the obsessions are good or harmless
ones.


I hear ya, Luna. I have OCD, and if it's not one thing, it's another.
I've been trying not to be obsessive about asdlc and FitDay, but I'm
discovering that those obsessions are necessary to my health, both physical
and mental. I have to be obsessed with my diabetic control and weight
loss, or I completely let them go to hell. No obsession is actually
healthy, but some are better than others, and I think I've just chosen a
couple that I need. Thanks for making that more clear to me.

Thank you,
Carol
--
226/196/150
October Challenge Goal - 191
http://photos.yahoo.com/carol_arie/
Atkins since January 26, 2003
Type 2 Diabetic since May 15, 2001
  #14  
Old October 13th, 2003, 05:46 AM
Damsel in dis Dress
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Default I Feel So Rotten :(

On Mon, 13 Oct 2003 04:37:04 GMT, Priscilla Ballou
wrote:

In article ,
Damsel in dis Dress wrote:

Does anyone have advice for dealing with eating to console my sorrow? It
doesn't work. It only makes me feel worse. But somehow, I can't see that
when I start shoveling the crap in.


Carol, have you considered getting some talk therapy to work on how
you're using food, specifically carbs? I imagine you're on meds for
your bipolar disorder, but this might be helped with some one-on-one.


My new shrink has suggested cognitive-behavioral therapy, and there are two
therapists in the office who do that. It'll be new to me, and I've been
putting off making an appointment, because I'm a little nervous about
moving beyond, "How did you feel when that happened?"

I definitely need help. I checked earlier this evening, and the closest
Overeaters Anonymous meeting is 43 miles away. I have no problem once I
get started, but getting going with low-carb has been pretty tough this
time around. It was easy in January, because I was so disgusted with
myself over my holiday eating. Maybe today disgusted me enough to take
some affirmative action.

Thanks, Priscilla. I'll make an appointment on Tuesday, when I see my
shrink.

Carol
--
226/196/150
October Challenge Goal - 191
http://photos.yahoo.com/carol_arie/
Atkins since January 26, 2003
Type 2 Diabetic since May 15, 2001
  #15  
Old October 13th, 2003, 05:51 AM
Damsel in dis Dress
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Default I Feel So Rotten :(

On Mon, 13 Oct 2003 17:39:33 +1300, "Frenchy"
wrote:

"Damsel in dis Dress" wrote in message
.. .
Every day, I start out low-carb. Almost every day, low-carb falls by the
wayside at some point. Even when I got on the scale this morning, and
weighed 200 pounds again, I still crashed and burned late this afternoon.

As a lot of you know, I'm bipolar. One of my ongoing problems is that,
nearly every afternoon or early evening, I'm plunged into an intolerable
depression. My historical way of dealing with this has been to turn to
comfort foods.

snip

Ah Damsel, that sure is bad. If it is afternoons/evenings always, there seems some
imbalance. Have you been tested for the FULL range of Thyroid tests?


Nope. Just one test, which showed my thyroid levels to be right where they
belong. I'm going to talk to my shrink about this on Tuesday. My SO says
I've always gotten blue in the evenings, but it's gotten very, very bad
lately. If my shrink doesn't have an answer, I'll talk to my internist
about further testing.

Getting the "bad" stuff out of the house is the only way. The SO has to help in this and
forego his stash of "stuff". It cannot be in your reach smile


I'll be talking with him later this evening, to try to work out a strategy
for dealing with this problem. I don't understand why I'm eating food I
don't even like!

Thanks!
Carol
--
226/196/150
October Challenge Goal - 191
http://photos.yahoo.com/carol_arie/
Atkins since January 26, 2003
Type 2 Diabetic since May 15, 2001
  #16  
Old October 13th, 2003, 06:37 AM
Lorelei
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Default I Feel So Rotten :(

Damsel in dis Dress wrote:
Every day, I start out low-carb. Almost every day, low-carb falls by
the wayside at some point. Even when I got on the scale this
morning, and weighed 200 pounds again, I still crashed and burned
late this afternoon.

As a lot of you know, I'm bipolar. One of my ongoing problems is
that, nearly every afternoon or early evening, I'm plunged into an
intolerable depression. My historical way of dealing with this has
been to turn to comfort foods.

I don't know why, during times of sadness, I consider popcorn and
M&Ms to be my friends. They're not! They're mortal enemies. To my
diabetic control, to my weight, and to my general sense of well-being.

The usual advice would be to go take a long walk, or get some other
form of exercise. Problem is, I hurt my back a few weeks ago, and
still have to treat it with kid gloves.

Does anyone have advice for dealing with eating to console my sorrow?
It doesn't work. It only makes me feel worse. But somehow, I can't
see that when I start shoveling the crap in.

Trolls, there's no need to respond to this. I have you killfiled.
I'm sincerely searching for helpful advice from people who actually
wish me well.

Thank you,
Carol


Oh Carol, My heart goes out to you. my DH #1 was a self-medicating bipolar.
he drank. he died at age 25. by his own hand. I wish I could give you
advice, but the best I can do is give you this {{{{Carol}}}}}. (that was my
first hug online). Hang in there, get your meds adjusted or whatever and
stop hurting yourself.
love lori


  #17  
Old October 13th, 2003, 06:43 AM
Lorelei
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Posts: n/a
Default I Feel So Rotten :(

Damsel in dis Dress wrote:
.. I don't understand why I'm
eating food I don't even like!

Thanks!
Carol


self-sabatoge? just a thought. I've done it to myself enough times. try to
figure out for yourself what losing that weight will mean for your future.
will your job be good enough? will you still want to stay in or will you
want to be out more? will SO still be good enough? I ask these questions
because I either have answered them for myself or still need to. ain't
these here support groups grand?
best wishes to you

--
Lori
220/147/135
LC since 1/17/03
Oct Challenge 150/145
http://community.webshots.com/user/lorismiller


  #18  
Old October 13th, 2003, 06:50 AM
ConnieG999
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Posts: n/a
Default I Feel So Rotten :(

Damsel in dis Dress writes:

One of my ongoing problems is that,
nearly every afternoon or early evening, I'm plunged into an intolerable
depression. My historical way of dealing with this has been to turn to
comfort foods.


Carol, do you keep a journal? Have you considered or tried doing some deep
soul-searching when the depression hits? Sometimes I make a big stack of
whatever LC comfort food I'm in the mood for - cheesecake for comfort, pork
rinds for anger, Slim Jims for hunger, etc, and chew on them while I write. If
nothing else you can write about your frustration or your anger or your food
situation, and the snacks will keep you out of the popcorn and other baddies.
Good luck - I know how hard it is some days.

Connie
************************************************** ***
My mind is like a steel...um, whatchamacallit.

  #19  
Old October 13th, 2003, 06:54 AM
Damsel in dis Dress
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Default I Feel So Rotten :(

On Mon, 13 Oct 2003 05:37:10 GMT, "Lorelei"
wrote:

Oh Carol, My heart goes out to you. my DH #1 was a self-medicating bipolar.
he drank. he died at age 25. by his own hand. I wish I could give you
advice, but the best I can do is give you this {{{{Carol}}}}}. (that was my
first hug online). Hang in there, get your meds adjusted or whatever and
stop hurting yourself.
love lori


Aw, now I'm crying. Happy tears, of course. It makes me feel good to know
that you care so much. Mental illness sucks, bigtime. But I won't let the
gremlins in my brain win, dammit!

I never really thought of food as self-medicating, but of course, you're
absolutely right. I've never gotten into alcohol or drugs, but food....
yes. I'll let y'all know what the doc says on Tuesday. The man really
knows his stuff. I'm terribly impressed by him. Hopefully, he can find a
way to help me with this. If not him, one of the therapists.

My first priority on Tuesday, though, is to see if there's something that
can be done to prevent me from beating the tar out of my SO every night.
Apparently, I have a lot of internal anger that comes out while I'm asleep.

Yup, I'm one ****ed up bitch.

{{{{{Lori}}}}}

Gratefully,
Carol
--
226/196/150
October Challenge Goal - 191
http://photos.yahoo.com/carol_arie/
Atkins since January 26, 2003
Type 2 Diabetic since May 15, 2001
  #20  
Old October 13th, 2003, 06:58 AM
Damsel in dis Dress
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Posts: n/a
Default I Feel So Rotten :(

On Mon, 13 Oct 2003 05:43:39 GMT, "Lorelei"
wrote:

Damsel in dis Dress wrote:
. I don't understand why I'm
eating food I don't even like!


self-sabatoge? just a thought. I've done it to myself enough times. try to
figure out for yourself what losing that weight will mean for your future.
will your job be good enough? will you still want to stay in or will you
want to be out more? will SO still be good enough? I ask these questions
because I either have answered them for myself or still need to. ain't
these here support groups grand?
best wishes to you


The reason I gained the weight was to give my then-husband an excuse for
never touching me. If I was fat, it made sense to me. Without a "reason,"
I couldn't understand, or even begin to accept that life.

Now I'm with someone who adores me in any way, shape, or form. I don't
work, so it's basically just him and me. I'm not sure why I would
subconsciously try to harm myself. It's a new concept for me, and it's
going to take awhile to digest it. Maybe I don't think I'm worthy of
being happy?

Things to ponder.

Carol
--
226/196/150
October Challenge Goal - 191
http://photos.yahoo.com/carol_arie/
Atkins since January 26, 2003
Type 2 Diabetic since May 15, 2001
 




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