Snooty? Maybe

When I was in college, I dated a 6'5" boy who weighed 265 lbs. (let's
call him Mike.) He grew up being the fattest kid in school. I had just
gained 60 lbs to my already-bigger-than-other-girls frame. after dating
for 1 year or so, he went to a 5 month internship accross the country.
We decided to diet together and keep each other motivated, and when we
see each other in 5 months, we'll both be beautiful.

fast forward 5 months, i've lost 20 lbs. he had lost 45. I'm 5'5", he's
6'5". Guess who's more beautiful.

When we are together again, I realized that he has changed. When we go
out to eat, he'd say, "Honey, is that really a good choice for you? You
gotta think about the long term benefits. Delayed rewards vs. instant
gratification." When I mention food that are obviously yummy, his face
would get all scrunched up and say "yuck! that's so gross..." (this is
stuff applying to things like pizza, burgers, calzones, cakes, ice cream
sundaes etc etc.) and he would get excited about things like fresh
vegetables, like bell peppers.

I called my best friend to whine about this. (she was in Texas, I was
up north.) She nodded and smiled, and came to visit me. to my utter
horror, she had lost 30 lbs. (she weighed MORE than me when we first
parted two years ago. before my 50 lb weight gain) And when I suggested
that we go have dinner (or anytime i suggest that we grab anything to
eat,) she would scrunch up her face and say, "i'm not really hungry."
and when she did eat, she would eat a serving of the food and call it a
day.

Fastforward 5 years. I've dropped both of those lovely people out of my
life. (thankfully they did NOT hook up with each other, like a bad
melodrama tv-show). And here I am on my own diet, tracking calories on
a spreadsheet religiously. and even thinking about plunking down money
for a personal trainer comes new year. But the thing that bothers me is
that the otherday i thought about a grease dripping burger and thought,
"ew gross." and I too am following strict "portion control." And
yesterday, when i gave away my ice cream sundae, part of me was kind of
sad -- I felt so snooty when I order a salad instead of a cold cut
trio. I don't like how those two people made me feel way back when, and
I don't want to become like those two people, but i even caught myself
scrunch up my face at the mention of mayonnaise!!

are all diet successes doomed to become jerks?? your thoughts are, as
usual, appreciated.

"Fairweather Princess" wrote


are all diet successes doomed to become jerks?? your thoughts are, as
usual, appreciated.

There is a lot of this in people who have quit smoking. Not everyone is like
this, but there certainly enough people who act this way to attract your
attention.

I think this is an ego based thing, and a certain amount of it is healthy.
In the beginning, such behavior is a display of pride. When it becomes
unhealthy is when that pride turns into a lifestyle of trying to change
others either overtly or through intimidation (like a scrunched face).

dt

In article wQlwd.35742$ve.31984@fed1read06, Daven Thrice
wrote:

"Fairweather Princess" wrote


are all diet successes doomed to become jerks?? your thoughts are, as
usual, appreciated.

There is a lot of this in people who have quit smoking. Not everyone is like
this, but there certainly enough people who act this way to attract your
attention.

I think this is an ego based thing, and a certain amount of it is healthy.
In the beginning, such behavior is a display of pride. When it becomes
unhealthy is when that pride turns into a lifestyle of trying to change
others either overtly or through intimidation (like a scrunched face).

dt

Agree!

--
Diva
*****
The Best Man For The Job Is A Woman

On Thu, 16 Dec 2004 18:57:36 GMT, Fairweather Princess
wrote:

When I was in college, I dated a 6'5" boy who weighed 265 lbs. (let's
call him Mike.) He grew up being the fattest kid in school. I had just
gained 60 lbs to my already-bigger-than-other-girls frame. after dating
for 1 year or so, he went to a 5 month internship accross the country.
We decided to diet together and keep each other motivated, and when we
see each other in 5 months, we'll both be beautiful.

fast forward 5 months, i've lost 20 lbs. he had lost 45. I'm 5'5", he's
6'5". Guess who's more beautiful.

When we are together again, I realized that he has changed. When we go
out to eat, he'd say, "Honey, is that really a good choice for you? You
gotta think about the long term benefits. Delayed rewards vs. instant
gratification." When I mention food that are obviously yummy, his face
would get all scrunched up and say "yuck! that's so gross..." (this is
stuff applying to things like pizza, burgers, calzones, cakes, ice cream
sundaes etc etc.) and he would get excited about things like fresh
vegetables, like bell peppers.

I called my best friend to whine about this. (she was in Texas, I was
up north.) She nodded and smiled, and came to visit me. to my utter
horror, she had lost 30 lbs. (she weighed MORE than me when we first
parted two years ago. before my 50 lb weight gain) And when I suggested
that we go have dinner (or anytime i suggest that we grab anything to
eat,) she would scrunch up her face and say, "i'm not really hungry."
and when she did eat, she would eat a serving of the food and call it a
day.

Fastforward 5 years. I've dropped both of those lovely people out of my
life. (thankfully they did NOT hook up with each other, like a bad
melodrama tv-show). And here I am on my own diet, tracking calories on
a spreadsheet religiously. and even thinking about plunking down money
for a personal trainer comes new year. But the thing that bothers me is
that the otherday i thought about a grease dripping burger and thought,
"ew gross." and I too am following strict "portion control." And
yesterday, when i gave away my ice cream sundae, part of me was kind of
sad -- I felt so snooty when I order a salad instead of a cold cut
trio. I don't like how those two people made me feel way back when, and
I don't want to become like those two people, but i even caught myself
scrunch up my face at the mention of mayonnaise!!

are all diet successes doomed to become jerks?? your thoughts are, as
usual, appreciated.

An interesting question. It's good to be reminded sometimes of how we
might be perceived by others. I know I used to be bothered by people
who would talk about dieting/healthy eating/calories etc. during
meals, and I pretty much avoid doing it unless the only other
person(s) there also share my interest. And I do find myself having
"ew, gross" thoughts about some kinds of foods. But of course it
isn't polite to ever voice such thoughts at the table (or to make
faces), so I pretty much avoid doing that (except with DH ;-) .)

There's still an issue of appearing sort of "holier than thou" when
ordering a healthier meal than others at the table. I try to just be
matter-of-fact -- order a salad or grilled fish or whatever in the
same way I might have previously ordered a cheeseburger -- and not
make any editorial comments about why I'm ordering that or about what
anyone else is ordering. It's just my food preference, and doesn't
need any more excuses than anyone else's preference. And a polite "no
thank you " is always a fine answer to a waiter offering dessert. I
just make my choices, eat and enjoy my food, and keep my opinions
about diet and health to myself.

Chris
262/134/ (135-145)

"Chris Braun" wrote in message
...

There's still an issue of appearing sort of "holier than thou" when
ordering a healthier meal than others at the table. I try to just be
matter-of-fact -- order a salad or grilled fish or whatever in the
same way I might have previously ordered a cheeseburger -- and not
make any editorial comments about why I'm ordering that or about what
anyone else is ordering. It's just my food preference, and doesn't
need any more excuses than anyone else's preference. And a polite "no
thank you " is always a fine answer to a waiter offering dessert. I
just make my choices, eat and enjoy my food, and keep my opinions
about diet and health to myself.

I've also found that a simple "no thanks" works just fine in most cases.
Sometimes it needs to be repeated, maybe a little more firmly, but most
people will back off by then unless they're related to you The only time
I get comments these days are when I go out with friends and the night will
include drinking - my best friend still doesn't think I eat enough dinner
(salad with chicken) to handle any drinking afterward. What she and the
others still don't realize is that I really don't drink that much - even
though I always have a drink in my hand. Diet coke with a slice of lemon
looks just like a bacardi and diet coke with a slice of lemon.

Jenn
call me the designated driver

"Chris Braun" wrote in message
...

There's still an issue of appearing sort of "holier than thou" when
ordering a healthier meal than others at the table. I try to just be
matter-of-fact -- order a salad or grilled fish or whatever in the
same way I might have previously ordered a cheeseburger -- and not
make any editorial comments about why I'm ordering that or about what
anyone else is ordering. It's just my food preference, and doesn't
need any more excuses than anyone else's preference. And a polite "no
thank you " is always a fine answer to a waiter offering dessert. I
just make my choices, eat and enjoy my food, and keep my opinions
about diet and health to myself.

I've also found that a simple "no thanks" works just fine in most cases.
Sometimes it needs to be repeated, maybe a little more firmly, but most
people will back off by then unless they're related to you The only time
I get comments these days are when I go out with friends and the night will
include drinking - my best friend still doesn't think I eat enough dinner
(salad with chicken) to handle any drinking afterward. What she and the
others still don't realize is that I really don't drink that much - even
though I always have a drink in my hand. Diet coke with a slice of lemon
looks just like a bacardi and diet coke with a slice of lemon.

Jenn
call me the designated driver

Fastforward 5 years. I've dropped both of those lovely people out of my
life. (thankfully they did NOT hook up with each other, like a bad
melodrama tv-show). And here I am on my own diet, tracking calories on
a spreadsheet religiously. and even thinking about plunking down money
for a personal trainer comes new year. But the thing that bothers me is
that the otherday i thought about a grease dripping burger and thought,
"ew gross." and I too am following strict "portion control." And
yesterday, when i gave away my ice cream sundae, part of me was kind of
sad -- I felt so snooty when I order a salad instead of a cold cut
trio. I don't like how those two people made me feel way back when, and
I don't want to become like those two people, but i even caught myself
scrunch up my face at the mention of mayonnaise!!

People have an amazing ability to make themselves believe anything.
In order to motivate yourself and stick to your diet, you have managed
to make yourself believe that what you used to love is now "ew gross",
and things that you used to dislike or at least find utterly boring is
now "yummy" - as did you boyfriend those many years ago.

You will find this consistent with many other facets of life.
Religion is a big one. So is having children and working at a really
awful job. People can make themselves believe anything. The rest of
us just look on and shake our heads in disbelief - having a more
objective viewpoint.

If it works for you, that is the important thing.

Em
Be careful what you wish for....

Fastforward 5 years. I've dropped both of those lovely people out of my
life. (thankfully they did NOT hook up with each other, like a bad
melodrama tv-show). And here I am on my own diet, tracking calories on
a spreadsheet religiously. and even thinking about plunking down money
for a personal trainer comes new year. But the thing that bothers me is
that the otherday i thought about a grease dripping burger and thought,
"ew gross." and I too am following strict "portion control." And
yesterday, when i gave away my ice cream sundae, part of me was kind of
sad -- I felt so snooty when I order a salad instead of a cold cut
trio. I don't like how those two people made me feel way back when, and
I don't want to become like those two people, but i even caught myself
scrunch up my face at the mention of mayonnaise!!

People have an amazing ability to make themselves believe anything.
In order to motivate yourself and stick to your diet, you have managed
to make yourself believe that what you used to love is now "ew gross",
and things that you used to dislike or at least find utterly boring is
now "yummy" - as did you boyfriend those many years ago.

You will find this consistent with many other facets of life.
Religion is a big one. So is having children and working at a really
awful job. People can make themselves believe anything. The rest of
us just look on and shake our heads in disbelief - having a more
objective viewpoint.

If it works for you, that is the important thing.

Em
Be careful what you wish for....

People have an amazing ability to make themselves believe anything.
In order to motivate yourself and stick to your diet, you have managed
to make yourself believe that what you used to love is now "ew gross",
and things that you used to dislike or at least find utterly boring is
now "yummy" - as did you boyfriend those many years ago.

Please don't think that I'm one of those morons who convinces themselves
that "good food" is "gross." (or, "He hits me because he loves me." or
"I can change my parents.") Let's not joke around here, grease dripping
burgers are awesome when it's made at In'n'Out; he hits you because he's
a closet homo; and my parents will never stop asking me when I'm getting
married. (until I get married, but that's not really related to this
thread.) People who says "eww gross" sometimes not because they
necessarily think the subject in question is physically revolting. For
example, I thought about how lovely a 900 calorie burger would look on
my precious spreadsheet and "ew gross" was the first thing that crossed
my mind.

You will find this consistent with many other facets of life.
Religion is a big one. So is having children and working at a really
awful job. People can make themselves believe anything. The rest of
us just look on and shake our heads in disbelief - having a more
objective viewpoint.

Thanks for excluding me from "rest of the objective population." I may
be younger than some of the regulars here, but age, i'm sure you know,
is not a pre-requisit for clear-headed thinking, not with regards to
food, religion, children, or occupation. The whole point of posting
this thread is to actually check to see if other people here has had
similar shift in paradigm as me, and find themselves troubled by it.
And for the record, I do not forsee myself as ever finding bell pepper
exciting.

plain celery sticks...now...that's good eat'n! *wink wink nudge nudge*

"Fairweather Princess" wrote in message
. com...
When I was in college, I dated a 6'5" boy who weighed 265 lbs. (let's call
him Mike.) He grew up being the fattest kid in school. I had just gained
60 lbs to my already-bigger-than-other-girls frame. after dating for 1
year or so, he went to a 5 month internship accross the country. We
decided to diet together and keep each other motivated, and when we see
each other in 5 months, we'll both be beautiful.

fast forward 5 months, i've lost 20 lbs. he had lost 45. I'm 5'5", he's
6'5". Guess who's more beautiful.

When we are together again, I realized that he has changed. When we go
out to eat, he'd say, "Honey, is that really a good choice for you? You
gotta think about the long term benefits. Delayed rewards vs. instant
gratification." When I mention food that are obviously yummy, his face
would get all scrunched up and say "yuck! that's so gross..." (this is
stuff applying to things like pizza, burgers, calzones, cakes, ice cream
sundaes etc etc.) and he would get excited about things like fresh
vegetables, like bell peppers.

I called my best friend to whine about this. (she was in Texas, I was up
north.) She nodded and smiled, and came to visit me. to my utter horror,
she had lost 30 lbs. (she weighed MORE than me when we first parted two
years ago. before my 50 lb weight gain) And when I suggested that we go
have dinner (or anytime i suggest that we grab anything to eat,) she would
scrunch up her face and say, "i'm not really hungry." and when she did
eat, she would eat a serving of the food and call it a day.

Fastforward 5 years. I've dropped both of those lovely people out of my
life. (thankfully they did NOT hook up with each other, like a bad
melodrama tv-show). And here I am on my own diet, tracking calories on a
spreadsheet religiously. and even thinking about plunking down money for
a personal trainer comes new year. But the thing that bothers me is that
the otherday i thought about a grease dripping burger and thought, "ew
gross." and I too am following strict "portion control." And yesterday,
when i gave away my ice cream sundae, part of me was kind of sad -- I
felt so snooty when I order a salad instead of a cold cut trio. I don't
like how those two people made me feel way back when, and I don't want to
become like those two people, but i even caught myself scrunch up my face
at the mention of mayonnaise!!

are all diet successes doomed to become jerks?? your thoughts are, as
usual, appreciated.

He doesn't sound like a "jerk" to me at all. A guy doesn't become a "jerk"
just because a relationship doesn't work out or you have a difference of
opinion. It sounds like he was upset you weren't supporting him or "sticking
with the program".

However, I do notice that when people lose weight (especially true with
women) then they tend to be complete asses to other people who are
overweight, like their own bit of self-improvement entitles them to be ruler
of the universe or something, like they know it all now.

A year later when they are fat again, you can remind them what a tosser they
were ;-)