Mistaken for pregnant :(

Hi group--
I used to hang out here more, but as my weight grew stable and I gained
confidence that my habits were sticking, I've been throwing time into other
priorities.

Until this morning, when I had a wake-up call. I'm back to vent, whine and
seek support.

Upon returning from my run this morning (of all things), I was greeted by a
neighbor who remarked that it was so nice for us to be expecting. I was
taken aback. I said we're not expecting. She seemed confused and tried to
recover. I tried to exit gracefully.

Now come on. Yes, I still have more to eventually lose. But 5'7" and 170
with a running and lifting habit is leagues ahead of 5'7" and 230 with an
eating and eating habit. And I've been this way for two years steady!
Stellar BP, stellar RHR, stellar cholesterol. I still eat my oatmeal with
protein powder every day (and enjoy it!) and cover on average 35 miles a
week on foot (and enjoy it!). It took me a long time to *really believe*
that the first 60 were gone for good, and for a while now, I have been
feeling differently, and *better* about my body.

Until this morning. Is 170 on 5'7", size 12-14, really so fat that I look
pregnant? Seriously. I know this exchange doesn't have any bearing on my
obvious health improvements--they're real. But how can I have any
confidence that I'm successfully bringing my body image closer to reality
when this kind of stuff happens?

Stupid stomach. Stupid neighbor.

Sigh.

--Kim in cville
230/170/145 when I'm ready

In article , kim in cville
writes
Until this morning. Is 170 on 5'7", size 12-14, really so fat that I look
pregnant?

The same thing happened to me when I was at my LOWEST weight for years
(138, and I'm 5' 4"). I think it was because they rest of me had
shrunk, so my poor old abs, slack form my giant babies, were more
noticeable.

Seriously. I know this exchange doesn't have any bearing on my
obvious health improvements--they're real. But how can I have any
confidence that I'm successfully bringing my body image closer to reality
when this kind of stuff happens?

I think many people actually can't deal any more with the normal body of
a mature woman who's had children. We all end up striving to look like
18-year-olds. I bet you look great, judging by your mileage. But you
probably don't look like Gwynnie, and increasingly that's the only image
of beauty around.
--
Jane Lumley

"kim in cville" wrote in message
...
Hi group--
I used to hang out here more, but as my weight grew stable and I gained
confidence that my habits were sticking, I've been throwing time into
other
priorities.

Until this morning, when I had a wake-up call. I'm back to vent, whine
and
seek support.

Upon returning from my run this morning (of all things), I was greeted by
a
neighbor who remarked that it was so nice for us to be expecting. I was
taken aback. I said we're not expecting. She seemed confused and tried
to
recover. I tried to exit gracefully.

Now come on. Yes, I still have more to eventually lose. But 5'7" and 170
with a running and lifting habit is leagues ahead of 5'7" and 230 with an
eating and eating habit. And I've been this way for two years steady!
Stellar BP, stellar RHR, stellar cholesterol. I still eat my oatmeal with
protein powder every day (and enjoy it!) and cover on average 35 miles a
week on foot (and enjoy it!). It took me a long time to *really believe*
that the first 60 were gone for good, and for a while now, I have been
feeling differently, and *better* about my body.

Until this morning. Is 170 on 5'7", size 12-14, really so fat that I look
pregnant? Seriously. I know this exchange doesn't have any bearing on my
obvious health improvements--they're real. But how can I have any
confidence that I'm successfully bringing my body image closer to reality
when this kind of stuff happens?

Stupid stomach. Stupid neighbor.

Sigh.

--Kim in cville
230/170/145 when I'm ready



I agree, stupid neighbor. If she's really been watching, she's seen you
thinning down. Why she would make a crack like that is beyond me. But then
I'm not good at understanding why people do rude things.

kim in cville wrote:

But how can I have any confidence that I'm successfully bringing my body
image closer to reality when this kind of stuff happens?

your neighbor made a terrible, and terribly gauche, mistake in saying
what she did, but you shouldn't take it seriously. you know how hard
you've worked to get to where you are and *you're* the person who needs
to know that - it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. it's nice to
get validation from outside sources, but even if you don't you can still
believe in yourself.

"Ignoramus5599" wrote in message
...
In article , Patricia Heil wrote:

I agree, stupid neighbor. If she's really been watching, she's seen you
thinning down. Why she would make a crack like that is beyond me. But
then
I'm not good at understanding why people do rude things.

Well, some people open their mouths and say things without really
thinking first.

i

Been there, done that, admitted I was stupid, and moved on.

kim in cville wrote:
Hi group--
I used to hang out here more, but as my weight grew stable and I gained
confidence that my habits were sticking, I've been throwing time into other
priorities.

Until this morning, when I had a wake-up call. I'm back to vent, whine and
seek support.

Upon returning from my run this morning (of all things), I was greeted by a
neighbor who remarked that it was so nice for us to be expecting. I was
taken aback. I said we're not expecting. She seemed confused and tried to
recover. I tried to exit gracefully.

Now come on. Yes, I still have more to eventually lose. But 5'7" and 170
with a running and lifting habit is leagues ahead of 5'7" and 230 with an
eating and eating habit. And I've been this way for two years steady!
Stellar BP, stellar RHR, stellar cholesterol. I still eat my oatmeal with
protein powder every day (and enjoy it!) and cover on average 35 miles a
week on foot (and enjoy it!). It took me a long time to *really believe*
that the first 60 were gone for good, and for a while now, I have been
feeling differently, and *better* about my body.

Until this morning. Is 170 on 5'7", size 12-14, really so fat that I look
pregnant? Seriously. I know this exchange doesn't have any bearing on my
obvious health improvements--they're real. But how can I have any
confidence that I'm successfully bringing my body image closer to reality
when this kind of stuff happens?

Stupid stomach. Stupid neighbor.

Sigh.

--Kim in cville
230/170/145 when I'm ready

Welcome back, Kim! I'm just about where you a I've lost about 65
pounds, I'm lifting heavy and exercising regularly and eating my
protein-powder oatmeal breakfast...

But I've got a flapping belly. I don't know your story: did you get
stretched out in childbearing like I did? My abdominal bands are
stretched and don't meet in the middle like they're supposed to and the
result is a bulging belly no matter what I do. The only answer is
surgery. Or girdles. Or ignoring it. (Okay, so there are more than
one answer.) :-)

But at least your neighbor was trying to be happy for you. That's nice.
That she wishes you well, I mean.

I recall with embarrassment once meeting up with an aquaintance at a
party and she was crowing something about babies and I asked, "oh, are
you expecting?" and she glared at me because she was nine months
pregnant and I was supposed to be able to tell. But she was one of
those morbidly obese women (also very tall) that ALWAYS wore caftains
and I just didn't detect any change!

Dally
244/179/170

"jayjay" wrote in message
...

stupid neighbor!

Were you wearing tight shorts and lose tshirt?

I recall when my son was all of 2 or 3 months old I was grocery
shopping with him. I was 5'3" and about 155lbs when the guy in line
in front of me asked me when I was due... To which I pointed to my
infant son in the baby carrier in the cart and said "2 months ago,
thank you very much"... I was wearing stretch pants and oversided
tshirt at the time - because I still wasn't into any prepregnancy
clothes (after gaining 50lbs and only losing 10 after the birth)....

Tight shorts and reasonably fitted but not snug tank top. Maybe that was
it. Still have a bulge and the tank top showed it. Never wearing that
again...

Sorry about your similar grocery store experience. Thanks. It did remind
me that people sometimes do just open mouth and insert foot.

--Kim

"Ignoramus5599" wrote in message
...

What is your recent weight history? Do you have a weight log of any
sort?

Have kept 60 pounds off for over two years, minus a 10 pound injury-related
hiccup last fall that was dealt with in short order.

Some people sometimes say the stupidest things with no reason. Maybe
you do not have a big belly, you just stuck it out momentarily or
your face looked pregnant?

See reply to JayJay--there's a good chance it was the shirt and my remaining
bulge/skin.


If you stuck with your weight loss for 2 years, that is already a
cause for celebration. If you are indeed regaining, then you need to
make adjustments.

Yeah, I've only in the last few months realized that I really believe I have
successfully
licked a significant portion of my excess fat, and that makes me feel good.
I do have
a watch and adjust plan in place for when things start to creep (like the
injury hiccup
above).

All in all, I cannot say without a picture, but you are unlikely to
look very bad at this weight.

Thanks. I didn't think so either, which is the belief I questioned
following this
conversation this morning. That's why I was wondering if I have somehow
started
to get my body image out of whack the other way. But the perspective of a
day has
sunk in and I'm writing this off as occasionally careless people saying
stupid things that
have no effect on the progress I've made and how it makes me feel. Or I'm
trying...

--Kim in cville
230/170/145 when I'm ready

"Patricia Heil" wrote in message
...

I agree, stupid neighbor. If she's really been watching, she's seen you
thinning down. Why she would make a crack like that is beyond me. But
then
I'm not good at understanding why people do rude things.

Actually, she only moved in a few months ago, and I had been weight-stable
for
two years by then, so she never knew me big.
But yeah, stupid neighbor seems to be the consensus...I'm trying to let it
roll off...

--Kim in cville
23/170/145 when I'm ready

"The Queen of Cans and Jars" wrote in message
...
kim in cville wrote:

But how can I have any confidence that I'm successfully bringing my body
image closer to reality when this kind of stuff happens?

your neighbor made a terrible, and terribly gauche, mistake in saying
what she did, but you shouldn't take it seriously. you know how hard
you've worked to get to where you are and *you're* the person who needs
to know that - it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. it's nice to
get validation from outside sources, but even if you don't you can still
believe in yourself.

So am I relying too much on outside sources if I say "Thanks, I needed to
hear
that"?
I have been guilty of this in lots of areas, and it has taken its toll. But
I'm becoming
less so and I think that's why this shocked me so. I've been growing this
fragile and
tentative confidence that's been starting to feel more and more natural and
just when
I thought I was getting somewhere, someone poked this giant hole in it with
a few
words.
But they were stupid words, and she was a heel. I'm healthy and strong.
Thanks.

--Kim in cville
230/170/145 when I'm ready