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#11
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Luna wrote:
In article , (The Queen of Cans and Jars) wrote: therapy. not kidding, not being sarcastic, NOT PICKING ON YOU. ok? get some help. you don't have to keep going forever. just use it to work through this stuff. Thanks. Yeah, I've been thinking about it. I went to therapy once, for a few months, and I felt like it was a big waste of time. Just talking about stuff doesn't fix anything. And I don't even know what the "stuff" is that I need to work through. I know I've dealt with stress and anxiety by being orally fixated at least since I was 4 years old, because that's when I stopped chewing on my hair and moved to biting my nails. So it may be that this is just my personality. therapy isn't necessarily "just talking about stuff" and if you didn't get anything out of it the first time, you probably weren't working with the right person. it may indeed be that it's just your personality. you could try st. john's wort or 5htp on your own if you wanted to. 5htp has been helpful for me in that it has almost completely eliminated my desire to overeat. mind you, i quit smoking sixteen years ago so i wasn't battling that. still, it's helped. you can google for more information about both supplements. i think it's a deeper problem, though, and that self-medication isn't what you need. you need to find out *why* you do this to yourself so that you can take action to stop it, not just try to placate it into some semblance of submission. it's obvious that you know better than to stuff your face but you are unable, for whatever reason, to stop yourself from doing it. i don't think just popping a pill is the way to solve a problem like that. i think it's a behavior that you've learned, and if you can learn it you can *unlearn* it, too. how to unlearn it is something you'll have to figure out for yourself, and a good therapist can help you with that. it sucks, what's happening, but it's not the end of the world. you'll find a way to deal with it. just don't start smoking again. |
#12
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"Luna" wrote in message ... Thanks. Yeah, I've been thinking about it. I went to therapy once, for a few months, and I felt like it was a big waste of time. Just talking about stuff doesn't fix anything. And I don't even know what the "stuff" is that I need to work through. I know I've dealt with stress and anxiety by being orally fixated at least since I was 4 years old, because that's when I stopped chewing on my hair and moved to biting my nails. So it may be that this is just my personality. To play devil's advocate here...maybe you don't have a sh*tload of "stuff" that you need to overcome. Maybe things are just feeling really magnified because of the dependency your body is fighting. The fact that you don't even know what the "stuff" is that you need to work through makes me think that you may not be laden with issues... Just something to think about, of course. Something similar happens to my sister every month with PMS. She is overcome with emotions over things that she could normally tolerate. S t a c i |
#13
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In article ,
"S t a c i" wrote: Michelle - two comments for you... 1. You say that it "all falls apart" once you get home...maybe you should make plans to get out of the house. I have a good friend who sometimes gets into negative patterns at the end of the day when she's home, so she makes all kinds of plans to keep her out of the house until she's feeling more stable. Hmm. That's a good idea, actually. Maybe I could switch to working out after work instead of before. 2. If I remember from a previous post, you were smoking 3 packs a day, correct? Why did you decide to give up 60 smokes a day cold-turkey? It's possible that cold-turkey is the best method for your personality type, and that you already know this...but I would have given myself a few weeks of cutting back to 2 packs, then 1, then 10 cigs, etc. I don't want to encourage you to step backwards, but you did decide to take on a lot all at once. No one would fault you for taking it slowly. I'm not going cold turkey, actually. I'm using the nicorette gum. I've tried the cutting back method before, it never worked. I already had the gum from a previous quit attempt, and one night I was out and I smoked too much and made myself sick, and on the way home I decided not to stop and buy more, to just quit instead. -- Michelle Levin http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws. |
#14
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In article ,
"S t a c i" wrote: Michelle - two comments for you... 1. You say that it "all falls apart" once you get home...maybe you should make plans to get out of the house. I have a good friend who sometimes gets into negative patterns at the end of the day when she's home, so she makes all kinds of plans to keep her out of the house until she's feeling more stable. Hmm. That's a good idea, actually. Maybe I could switch to working out after work instead of before. 2. If I remember from a previous post, you were smoking 3 packs a day, correct? Why did you decide to give up 60 smokes a day cold-turkey? It's possible that cold-turkey is the best method for your personality type, and that you already know this...but I would have given myself a few weeks of cutting back to 2 packs, then 1, then 10 cigs, etc. I don't want to encourage you to step backwards, but you did decide to take on a lot all at once. No one would fault you for taking it slowly. I'm not going cold turkey, actually. I'm using the nicorette gum. I've tried the cutting back method before, it never worked. I already had the gum from a previous quit attempt, and one night I was out and I smoked too much and made myself sick, and on the way home I decided not to stop and buy more, to just quit instead. -- Michelle Levin http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws. |
#16
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In article ,
(The Queen of Cans and Jars) wrote: Luna wrote: In article , (The Queen of Cans and Jars) wrote: therapy. not kidding, not being sarcastic, NOT PICKING ON YOU. ok? get some help. you don't have to keep going forever. just use it to work through this stuff. Thanks. Yeah, I've been thinking about it. I went to therapy once, for a few months, and I felt like it was a big waste of time. Just talking about stuff doesn't fix anything. And I don't even know what the "stuff" is that I need to work through. I know I've dealt with stress and anxiety by being orally fixated at least since I was 4 years old, because that's when I stopped chewing on my hair and moved to biting my nails. So it may be that this is just my personality. therapy isn't necessarily "just talking about stuff" and if you didn't get anything out of it the first time, you probably weren't working with the right person. True. I didn't get a choice though. it may indeed be that it's just your personality. you could try st. john's wort or 5htp on your own if you wanted to. 5htp has been helpful for me in that it has almost completely eliminated my desire to overeat. mind you, i quit smoking sixteen years ago so i wasn't battling that. still, it's helped. you can google for more information about both supplements. i think it's a deeper problem, though, and that self-medication isn't what you need. you need to find out *why* you do this to yourself so that you can take action to stop it, not just try to placate it into some semblance of submission. it's obvious that you know better than to stuff your face but you are unable, for whatever reason, to stop yourself from doing it. i don't think just popping a pill is the way to solve a problem like that. i think it's a behavior that you've learned, and if you can learn it you can *unlearn* it, too. how to unlearn it is something you'll have to figure out for yourself, and a good therapist can help you with that. Well, like I said before, the oral fixation has been a lifelong problem. This compulsive eating is relatively new though, just since I quit smoking. I mean, yeah, I overate before, but it was at regular mealtimes and it was when I felt hungry. This isn't. it sucks, what's happening, but it's not the end of the world. you'll find a way to deal with it. just don't start smoking again. Maybe it's temporary. I hope it is. I'm not going to start smoking again, no matter what. -- Michelle Levin http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws. |
#17
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In article ,
"S t a c i" wrote: "Luna" wrote in message ... Thanks. Yeah, I've been thinking about it. I went to therapy once, for a few months, and I felt like it was a big waste of time. Just talking about stuff doesn't fix anything. And I don't even know what the "stuff" is that I need to work through. I know I've dealt with stress and anxiety by being orally fixated at least since I was 4 years old, because that's when I stopped chewing on my hair and moved to biting my nails. So it may be that this is just my personality. To play devil's advocate here...maybe you don't have a sh*tload of "stuff" that you need to overcome. Maybe things are just feeling really magnified because of the dependency your body is fighting. The fact that you don't even know what the "stuff" is that you need to work through makes me think that you may not be laden with issues... Just something to think about, of course. Something similar happens to my sister every month with PMS. She is overcome with emotions over things that she could normally tolerate. S t a c i Cool, ok. Yeah. Maybe this is a temporary problem. Honestly, I don't think my anxieties are all that huge, comparatively. They just feel huge to me, but there are plenty of people doing a better job of dealing with much harder stuff than I am. -- Michelle Levin http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws. |
#18
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In article ,
"S t a c i" wrote: "Luna" wrote in message ... Thanks. Yeah, I've been thinking about it. I went to therapy once, for a few months, and I felt like it was a big waste of time. Just talking about stuff doesn't fix anything. And I don't even know what the "stuff" is that I need to work through. I know I've dealt with stress and anxiety by being orally fixated at least since I was 4 years old, because that's when I stopped chewing on my hair and moved to biting my nails. So it may be that this is just my personality. To play devil's advocate here...maybe you don't have a sh*tload of "stuff" that you need to overcome. Maybe things are just feeling really magnified because of the dependency your body is fighting. The fact that you don't even know what the "stuff" is that you need to work through makes me think that you may not be laden with issues... Just something to think about, of course. Something similar happens to my sister every month with PMS. She is overcome with emotions over things that she could normally tolerate. S t a c i Cool, ok. Yeah. Maybe this is a temporary problem. Honestly, I don't think my anxieties are all that huge, comparatively. They just feel huge to me, but there are plenty of people doing a better job of dealing with much harder stuff than I am. -- Michelle Levin http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws. |
#19
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I'm a heavy smoker and about to join you in the ranks of a newly non-
smoker. I foresee what is happening with you happening to me also. I've no idea if it will work..but the plan for me is to shift diet plans when I quit. I'll be doing lower fat at that point. Reason being (and this is assuming you don't have any insulin issues, cause if you do then this plan won't work for you in the least bit)...is I'm guessing at some emotional eating going on. So I can still watch calories during that time..but munch away at carrot sticks, radishes, unbuttered popcorn, raspberries and other reasonably low calorie foods like crazy (yes these foods can be eaten on a low carb diet..but not in the quanity I anticipate eating them at). Once I'm over the main part of my smoking addictions (or it doesn't work and I start gaining)..then I can get back to a more moderate-low carb diet. On the good side, by not gaining weight, you are succeeding doubly. You may not feel that way, but you are none the less. When you quit smoking your metabolism slows and even for those who do not eat more...it's not uncommon to gain a few pounds. Congratulations is in order even if you don't feel that way. Kristine In Luna wrote: There will be no hiding, no spinning, and no sugar-coating the truth in this post. If it wasn't for exercising, I would probably be halfway back to regaining everything by now. I am about to smash through my first month of smobriety. In laymen's terms, it's almost a month since I quit smoking. I have been doing really well on not smoking. One of the best, but hardest things about quitting has been all these repressed emotions coming to the surface. I knew I liked to smoke, I knew I was physically addicted, but I had no idea that using nicotine was actually a way to avoid feelings. Well, apparently it was, because now I've turned into an emotional eater instead. I do fine in the beginning of my day. I eat a normal, healthy, small portioned low-carb meal before heading to my part time afternoon job. I am fine at work. I resist partaking in the high-carb snacks. But when I get home, it all falls apart. I start eating and I don't stop until I go to sleep. I try to distract myself by going for a walk, but I come back in and start eating again. I chew gum, but I spit it out and start eating again. I try to butch up, and it works for 20 minutes or so, then I eat again. I eat until I am in pain. I hate it. I hate it and I don't know how to stop. It's like part of me wants to hurt myself, and part of me is standing there screaming at that part to ****ing stop it, and I literally feel like I'm going crazy. I have a long list of the possible emotional reasons for why I am eating, but I don't know where to start or even what to do about any of them. I have been keeping a journal and writing everything down, hoping it would be somehow cathartic, but it seems pointless. I've always been someone who needs to actually do something productive and pragmatic to solve problems, but there is nothing I can do to fix the things I am upset about. Knowing I can't fix these things doesn't make the pain stop though. I have to stop eating. I have to, or I am just going to add one more problem. But what then? I get the eating under control, and then what? I'll start drinking? Doing heroin? I have to fix what's actually wrong, but I don't know how. |
#20
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I'm a heavy smoker and about to join you in the ranks of a newly non-
smoker. I foresee what is happening with you happening to me also. I've no idea if it will work..but the plan for me is to shift diet plans when I quit. I'll be doing lower fat at that point. Reason being (and this is assuming you don't have any insulin issues, cause if you do then this plan won't work for you in the least bit)...is I'm guessing at some emotional eating going on. So I can still watch calories during that time..but munch away at carrot sticks, radishes, unbuttered popcorn, raspberries and other reasonably low calorie foods like crazy (yes these foods can be eaten on a low carb diet..but not in the quanity I anticipate eating them at). Once I'm over the main part of my smoking addictions (or it doesn't work and I start gaining)..then I can get back to a more moderate-low carb diet. On the good side, by not gaining weight, you are succeeding doubly. You may not feel that way, but you are none the less. When you quit smoking your metabolism slows and even for those who do not eat more...it's not uncommon to gain a few pounds. Congratulations is in order even if you don't feel that way. Kristine In Luna wrote: There will be no hiding, no spinning, and no sugar-coating the truth in this post. If it wasn't for exercising, I would probably be halfway back to regaining everything by now. I am about to smash through my first month of smobriety. In laymen's terms, it's almost a month since I quit smoking. I have been doing really well on not smoking. One of the best, but hardest things about quitting has been all these repressed emotions coming to the surface. I knew I liked to smoke, I knew I was physically addicted, but I had no idea that using nicotine was actually a way to avoid feelings. Well, apparently it was, because now I've turned into an emotional eater instead. I do fine in the beginning of my day. I eat a normal, healthy, small portioned low-carb meal before heading to my part time afternoon job. I am fine at work. I resist partaking in the high-carb snacks. But when I get home, it all falls apart. I start eating and I don't stop until I go to sleep. I try to distract myself by going for a walk, but I come back in and start eating again. I chew gum, but I spit it out and start eating again. I try to butch up, and it works for 20 minutes or so, then I eat again. I eat until I am in pain. I hate it. I hate it and I don't know how to stop. It's like part of me wants to hurt myself, and part of me is standing there screaming at that part to ****ing stop it, and I literally feel like I'm going crazy. I have a long list of the possible emotional reasons for why I am eating, but I don't know where to start or even what to do about any of them. I have been keeping a journal and writing everything down, hoping it would be somehow cathartic, but it seems pointless. I've always been someone who needs to actually do something productive and pragmatic to solve problems, but there is nothing I can do to fix the things I am upset about. Knowing I can't fix these things doesn't make the pain stop though. I have to stop eating. I have to, or I am just going to add one more problem. But what then? I get the eating under control, and then what? I'll start drinking? Doing heroin? I have to fix what's actually wrong, but I don't know how. |
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