Adkins in bed with Tidybowl

"MoParMan" wrote in message
news:...
Fact: If you eat lots of pork rinds (PR) on the Adkins diet,
your
grump will float. If you don't, your grump will be very heavy
and
leave lots of grump stains (GS) in the toilet bowl as it whirls
around and around and down the grump drain. I've noticed these
stains seem harder and harder to clean as you progress in the
diet. O' Course, after two weeks, your lucky as hell if you
ever
grump again and when you do, it'll probably crack the bowl and
spill grumpage all over the bathroom floor.

Yesterday after being on this diet for the 20th time in 5
years,
I had to take a power grump at work after consuming about 10
bags
of Hot-n-Spicy Pork Rinds and about 20 pounds of meat since my
last grumpy movement. It was rather embarrassing as I occupied
the grump room (GR) for about 30 minutes and then bought into
this world a 25 pound floating grump masterpiece. My coworkers
were about ready to call an ambulance from all the screaming
coming from behind the closed door.

My problems weren't over then, not only did I have to face my
coworkers when departing the GR, I also had to flush the
monument
to Dr. Adkins memory down the drain and try to clean up said
GS.
I triple flushed the floater from hell, but no dice, the damn
thing just would not go down. So, I said what the hell and left
the GR with both fans running on high, the floater drifting
from
side to side in the grump throne (GT) and GS sticking to the
sides of the commode like it was attached with superglue.

I quickly gathered my stuff and headed out the front door to
run
a service call.......

Does this diet ever get any easier?

--
MoParMan----Remove Clothes to Reply...

Scud Coordinates:
Latitude: 32.61208 Degrees North
Longitude: 96.92995 Degrees West
Depth: 17.35 Inches

Got a good chuckle out of this!

Julia

"MoParMan" wrote in message
news:nQgOb.75557$5V2.89662@attbi_s53...

"MoParMan" wrote in message
news:...
Fact: If you eat lots of pork rinds (PR) on the Adkins diet,
your
grump will float. If you don't, your grump will be very heavy
and
leave lots of grump stains (GS) in the toilet bowl as it whirls
around and around and down the grump drain. I've noticed these
stains seem harder and harder to clean as you progress in the
diet. O' Course, after two weeks, your lucky as hell if you
ever
grump again and when you do, it'll probably crack the bowl and
spill grumpage all over the bathroom floor.

Yesterday after being on this diet for the 20th time in 5
years,
I had to take a power grump at work after consuming about 10
bags
of Hot-n-Spicy Pork Rinds and about 20 pounds of meat since my
last grumpy movement. It was rather embarrassing as I occupied
the grump room (GR) for about 30 minutes and then bought into
this world a 25 pound floating grump masterpiece. My coworkers
were about ready to call an ambulance from all the screaming
coming from behind the closed door.

My problems weren't over then, not only did I have to face my
coworkers when departing the GR, I also had to flush the
monument
to Dr. Adkins memory down the drain and try to clean up said
GS.
I triple flushed the floater from hell, but no dice, the damn
thing just would not go down. So, I said what the hell and left
the GR with both fans running on high, the floater drifting
from
side to side in the grump throne (GT) and GS sticking to the
sides of the commode like it was attached with superglue.

I quickly gathered my stuff and headed out the front door to
run
a service call.......

Does this diet ever get any easier?

--
MoParMan----Remove Clothes to Reply...

Scud Coordinates:
Latitude: 32.61208 Degrees North
Longitude: 96.92995 Degrees West
Depth: 17.35 Inches

"Andrew in Alabama" wrote in message
...
Damb, "MoParMan" do I have to
'splain
EVERYTHING to your dumn ass???

Your from the south and you don't like hot pork rinds, you
musta
had some yanqui in your blood somewhere....Damn carpetbagger.

I'm not that crazy about grits or biscuits, either.

However, fried green tomatoes ROOL, and I have actually grown
to like
turnip/collard greens lately (they are attkins friendly, don't
ya
know.)

Alot of the bar-b-q is pretty good here as well.


Andrew

I make a cheddar cheese grit dish that is really good. To bad
grits aren't allowed on low carb diet either. I'm slobbering down
my chin right now just at the mention of southern made biscuits,
with real lard....Damn...

--
MoParMan----Remove Clothes to Reply...

Scud Coordinates:
Latitude: 32.61208 Degrees North
Longitude: 96.92995 Degrees West
Depth: 17.35 Inches

It gets a lot easier once you know how to spell "Atkins."

"MoParMan" wrote in message
news:bOwOb.93249$xy6.165660@attbi_s02...

"Andrew in Alabama" wrote in message
...
Damb, "MoParMan" do I have to
'splain
EVERYTHING to your dumn ass???

Your from the south and you don't like hot pork rinds, you
musta
had some yanqui in your blood somewhere....Damn carpetbagger.

I'm not that crazy about grits or biscuits, either.

However, fried green tomatoes ROOL, and I have actually grown
to like
turnip/collard greens lately (they are attkins friendly, don't
ya
know.)

Alot of the bar-b-q is pretty good here as well.


Andrew

I make a cheddar cheese grit dish that is really good. To bad
grits aren't allowed on low carb diet either. I'm slobbering down
my chin right now just at the mention of southern made biscuits,
with real lard....Damn...

--
MoParMan----Remove Clothes to Reply...

Scud Coordinates:
Latitude: 32.61208 Degrees North
Longitude: 96.92995 Degrees West
Depth: 17.35 Inches

"Bob" wrote in message
news:tmEOb.95309$xy6.171550@attbi_s02...
It gets a lot easier once you know how to spell "Atkins."

It would be even funnier if you learned how to not top post.
And it's even phuny that you tried to coreect any speiling on
this noosegroop....****ing moron.

--
MoParMan----Remove Clothes to Reply...

Scud Coordinates:
Latitude: 32.61208 Degrees North
Longitude: 96.92995 Degrees West
Depth: 17.35 Inches