a note to ignoranus

Ok, I got a note that you again were having some sort of bug up your ass
because I choose not to obsess about my weight these days. Let's get some
things straight here and now. You are not privy to my situation or my
treatment. We are not in the same situation nor are we alike. You don't
know me and what you know about anorexia and bulimia probably wouldn't fit
into a thimble. Too bad that the way I'm dealing with *my* situation
doesn't meet the ignoranus stamp of approval but life doesn't always go your
way.

First you were blasting me a while back because I'm not publicly posting my
weight to be accountable to you. Well tough. I'm in a maintenance program
where I'm weighed in weekly, which I mentioned numerous times. I'm also in
a separate treatment program for my eating disorders. *I* don't look at my
weight because I don't process the numbers rationally due to my eating
disorder. I stand backwards on the scale and the nurse or dietician records
the numbers. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. Again -
I'm not retarded and do have a good idea of what I weigh. Sometimes I
actually give in and look myself - sorry I haven't reported every single one
of my movements and thoughts over the last 3 months so you could keep up.
It's all part of *my* treatment. I don't need to know the exact pound when
a decile works fine for my purposes.

Once I'm weighed, I get feedback. I don't live in a vacuum. These people
actually speak to me about how things are going, go figure. I know that
I've maintained my current weight for 3 months. I have treatment goals
since my first priority is to overcome the eating disorder.

I realize I can't get you to stop talking about me as if you know a thing
about my personal situation. Just so you know, I'm not going to respond to
you. Other people may find your tactless ignorance charming or even
tolerable, but I don't. It would make me happier than anything if you could
just disregard my existence as I try to do with you.

Oh, and since I have to spell this out - I didn't see the original comments
but they were forwarded to me. I still intend to keep you KF'd.

Please go live a happy life and expend your energy on someone who cares.

JMA

Jenn
Just wanted to say (yet again) that I think I understand at least
some of where you're coming from. I certainly know about being
weighed and asking not to know what the numbers say, particularly if
other things are in a fragile state. This has been interpreted here
as "burying my head in the sand" but some of us know it doesn't mean
this at all.
For some reason I find I can tolerate Ig's posts, although his
patronising attitude and the constant implication that we need his
approval for everything we do can be very difficult to take, as can
recent assertions to other posters empathising with them because he
also is a "compulsive overeater".
Apologies, as I think I've used your post as an excuse for a small
rant, but I hope you know from past posts that my comments to you are
meant to be supportive

janice
233/184/133


On Tue, 24 Feb 2004 22:41:37 -0600, "JMA"
wrote:

Ok, I got a note that you again were having some sort of bug up your ass
because I choose not to obsess about my weight these days. Let's get some
things straight here and now. You are not privy to my situation or my
treatment. We are not in the same situation nor are we alike. You don't
know me and what you know about anorexia and bulimia probably wouldn't fit
into a thimble. Too bad that the way I'm dealing with *my* situation
doesn't meet the ignoranus stamp of approval but life doesn't always go your
way.

First you were blasting me a while back because I'm not publicly posting my
weight to be accountable to you. Well tough. I'm in a maintenance program
where I'm weighed in weekly, which I mentioned numerous times. I'm also in
a separate treatment program for my eating disorders. *I* don't look at my
weight because I don't process the numbers rationally due to my eating
disorder. I stand backwards on the scale and the nurse or dietician records
the numbers. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. Again -
I'm not retarded and do have a good idea of what I weigh. Sometimes I
actually give in and look myself - sorry I haven't reported every single one
of my movements and thoughts over the last 3 months so you could keep up.
It's all part of *my* treatment. I don't need to know the exact pound when
a decile works fine for my purposes.

Once I'm weighed, I get feedback. I don't live in a vacuum. These people
actually speak to me about how things are going, go figure. I know that
I've maintained my current weight for 3 months. I have treatment goals
since my first priority is to overcome the eating disorder.

I realize I can't get you to stop talking about me as if you know a thing
about my personal situation. Just so you know, I'm not going to respond to
you. Other people may find your tactless ignorance charming or even
tolerable, but I don't. It would make me happier than anything if you could
just disregard my existence as I try to do with you.

Oh, and since I have to spell this out - I didn't see the original comments
but they were forwarded to me. I still intend to keep you KF'd.

Please go live a happy life and expend your energy on someone who cares.

JMA

"janice" wrote in message
...
Jenn
Just wanted to say (yet again) that I think I understand at least
some of where you're coming from. I certainly know about being
weighed and asking not to know what the numbers say, particularly if
other things are in a fragile state. This has been interpreted here
as "burying my head in the sand" but some of us know it doesn't mean
this at all.

Well, I'm just tired of the comments by people who again don't know me or my
situation and have made assumptions based on the limited information I
choose to share and their limited knowledge base.

For some reason I find I can tolerate Ig's posts, although his
patronising attitude and the constant implication that we need his
approval for everything we do can be very difficult to take, as can

You've hit the nail squarely on the head here...

recent assertions to other posters empathising with them because he
also is a "compulsive overeater".

Not my place to judge. If that's his problem then I hope he gets the help
he needs and stops making judgements about everyone else. I have my
opinions about his situation, but unlike him, I know they're assumptions and
possibly way off base so I keep it to myself.

Apologies, as I think I've used your post as an excuse for a small
rant, but I hope you know from past posts that my comments to you are
meant to be supportive


Not a problem. People use this forum to vent as I have done. I like this
group and I really get a lot from it, including support and motivation. I
certainly don't need a constant group hug, but I have no real desire to beat
my head against the wall with someone for whom I have zero respect because
of his attitude toward me and others.

Jenn

He does not get it, will never get it, you are wasting your energy typing
this! It doesn't matter how many posts you or anyone else (including me)
can write telling him off. He will never stop being who he is.... Some
people are smart enough to evolve into a better human being and some aren't.
He is one of the ones that can't regardless of the amount of time or energy
people spend trying to make him "get it".

"JMA" wrote in message
...
Ok, I got a note that you again were having some sort of bug up your ass
because I choose not to obsess about my weight these days. Let's get some
things straight here and now. You are not privy to my situation or my
treatment. We are not in the same situation nor are we alike. You don't
know me and what you know about anorexia and bulimia probably wouldn't fit
into a thimble. Too bad that the way I'm dealing with *my* situation
doesn't meet the ignoranus stamp of approval but life doesn't always go
your
way.

First you were blasting me a while back because I'm not publicly posting
my
weight to be accountable to you. Well tough. I'm in a maintenance program
where I'm weighed in weekly, which I mentioned numerous times. I'm also
in
a separate treatment program for my eating disorders. *I* don't look at
my
weight because I don't process the numbers rationally due to my eating
disorder. I stand backwards on the scale and the nurse or dietician
records
the numbers. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out.
Again -
I'm not retarded and do have a good idea of what I weigh. Sometimes I
actually give in and look myself - sorry I haven't reported every single
one
of my movements and thoughts over the last 3 months so you could keep up.
It's all part of *my* treatment. I don't need to know the exact pound
when
a decile works fine for my purposes.

Once I'm weighed, I get feedback. I don't live in a vacuum. These people

actually speak to me about how things are going, go figure. I know that
I've maintained my current weight for 3 months. I have treatment goals
since my first priority is to overcome the eating disorder.

I realize I can't get you to stop talking about me as if you know a thing
about my personal situation. Just so you know, I'm not going to respond
to
you. Other people may find your tactless ignorance charming or even
tolerable, but I don't. It would make me happier than anything if you
could
just disregard my existence as I try to do with you.

Oh, and since I have to spell this out - I didn't see the original
comments
but they were forwarded to me. I still intend to keep you KF'd.

Please go live a happy life and expend your energy on someone who cares.

JMA

On 2/25/2004 9:33 AM, Perple Gyrl wrote:
He does not get it, will never get it, you are wasting your energy typing
this!

Right. I'll say this even though it's stating the obvious -- he can be
a really ASS.

It doesn't matter how many posts you or anyone else (including me)
can write telling him off. He will never stop being who he is.... Some
people are smart enough to evolve into a better human being and some aren't.

Yup, good point. Also, he's so busy thinking that he's better than
everyone else that he cannot see that there is A LOT of room for
improvement.

He is one of the ones that can't regardless of the amount of time or energy
people spend trying to make him "get it".

--
jmk in NC

I realize I can't get you to stop talking about me as if you know
a thing
about my personal situation. Just so you know, I'm not going to
respond to
you. Other people may find your tactless ignorance charming or
even
tolerable, but I don't. It would make me happier than anything if
you could
just disregard my existence as I try to do with you.



congrats to you JMA for taking control of your life and your
recovery!
rosie

Ignoramus18484 wrote:

Just like Alien, Ilike just checking out what is in the fridge. Being
at work all day and not eating at night help with that. On weekends,
what helps is grabbing some vegetables from the fridge instead of
cookies and candy, as I used to do. My point is that clearly, I have
not been cured of anything and my overeating is simply under control.

If I may, their point is that this in no way resembles being a
"compulsive eater". In fact, you and I have absolutely no idea what it
means to be a compulsive eater. We just don't have that illness. We're
logic-driven and a vague desire to eat for entertainment is easily
coutnered by either a.) eating the object of our desire and stopping or
b.) deciding to have something better for us. *Desiring* something
unhealthy is not the same as have a compulsion.

Having your "overeating" under control is a good indicator that you are
a compulsive eater, in fact. Someone with an OCD or an eating disorder
would say they've got their disorder under control. Over-eating is just
the manifestation of the disorder, not the actual disorder.

Dally

jmk wrote:

On 2/25/2004 9:33 AM, Perple Gyrl wrote:

He does not get it, will never get it, you are wasting your energy typing
this!

Right. I'll say this even though it's stating the obvious -- he can be
a really ASS.

I wish you wouldn't. Not because I don't think you should think it, but
because there's no reason to turn this into an invective name-calling
place. Yes, he's different. Yes, it's hard to bear (as am I). So
don't read him. Getting on his case for annoying you really says more
about you than it does him.

Dally

Ignoramus18484 wrote in
:

The advantage is that the
message delivered bluntly can have more impact than going round in
circles.

I have to totally agree with you there. I for one like bluntness. I would
rather be told something for what something is. Not sugar coat it and
make the spider out to be a butterfly. If you get what I mean.


The disadvantage is a distraction due to dealing with overly sensitive
people who live in la la land and get offended when that is pointed
out, and cannot get over it even over an extended period of time.


The reason some (not all, so please don't flame,I'm not pointing fingers)
people get oversensitive is because the truth can hurt sometimes and we
have to step back and say. Woah! That is me.We just have to learn to take
it and learn from it. Not shoot off our guns to make up for the hurt.
(again just speaking in general,not toward anyone.)If the point given
does not relate to a persons situation they should just simply move on
and not give it another thought.




--
---------------
starting 365
current 216
goal 200
hieght 6'3"
27 male

NC In Da House
---------------

"jmk" wrote in message
...
On 2/25/2004 9:33 AM, Perple Gyrl wrote:
He does not get it, will never get it, you are wasting your energy
typing
this!

Right. I'll say this even though it's stating the obvious -- he can be
a really ASS.

I didn't really intend for this to become a bashing session. I just wanted
to point out again that assumptions are being made about ME with very little
actual facts and I don't appreciate it.

It doesn't matter how many posts you or anyone else (including me)
can write telling him off. He will never stop being who he is.... Some
people are smart enough to evolve into a better human being and some
aren't.

Yup, good point. Also, he's so busy thinking that he's better than
everyone else that he cannot see that there is A LOT of room for
improvement.

That's his problem. I just want him to stop talking about me like he knows
anything about me.

Jenn