a note to ignoranus

"Perple Gyrl" wrote in
:

Hey Alien,

I feel for you and identify with you.. been there done that. I used
to plan my binges for Friday night while my ex hubby went out with his
friends. Friday night was our night apart to hang out with friends.
He would usually go to strip clubs and I would sit at home, eat a
cheesecake and a gallon of ice cream and still want more. My only
friend (and enemy) then was the crap I shoved down my throat. The
first binge I remember, I was 6 or 7 years old. My father was a very
emotionally abusive man that I could never do right by. My childhood
started my obsessive/compulsive disorder over food, etc. I started
smoking at 17. I met my ex hubby when I was 18, my first year in
college. He was also emotionally needy, distant and hurtful during
the 12 years we were together. I just didn't know any better since
that was the way I was always treated and was used to it.... I had
zero self esteem and didn't think it mattered. I hid from the world.
The scariest part now is losing the weight and looking better and
getting more attention.

What created your obsession toward food???

I'm not sure really. I think maybe from a couple of places. I come from a
strong German background and when I was a little child We always had family
gatherings every weekend. Where we would start eating around 2pm and not
finish until 10 or so that night! The courses kept comming and we kept
eating. Goodness forbid you passed up a course. I always heard,"you need to
eat,you will be skinny as rail." So I ate. Then my parents got divorced
around the age of eight or so. which devistated me. One because that sort
of thing didnt happen in our family. To date my parents are still the only
ones divorced from the first generations of american borns from our
family.My parents faught even worse a year of so after the divorce than
they did while married.My father would always say it was us kids fault.Then
the next moment he would be so kind and friendly. Then turn around and say
horrible things again.That same year my mother attempted suicide. She lay
in the hospital for a week on a respirator. We could only wait to see if
she pulled through. **can we all say,"it was an emotioinal
rollercoaster."** So I turned to the only comfort that made me feel like I
did on family weekends. FOOD! It quickly turned into a disorder. My first
binge was around age 8 or so, and the feeling it gave me was outstanding.I
felt loved again. So I started binging more and more. The first few years I
just blindly binged. It wasnt until I hit my teenage years that I started
planning binges and getting excited about them. All I ever heard from my
family most of the time was, oh you're just healthy. Your just big boned.
You'll grow out of it.That did nothing but give me the urge to binge more.
Those words made it feel..... OK.... By the time I was 18 I had went
through about 100 diets and as many therapist. By that time I knew I had a
problem. I just could NOT control it. By my early 20's I had developed
panic/anxiety disorder to boot and having night terrors/sleep paralysis.Can
you imagine.Night terrors in my 20's!?!? These were brought on by my
realization of my former disorder and not being in control over it. Finally
I learned to focus my urges to other areas. Well that along with the fact I
was soooo fed up. For me at the time it was start living healthy or end it
right here and now. I started eating healthy and talking to others (like
you peeps) to KEEP motivated and focused.My family and friends finally
realized that I needed them more than ever as well. My mother (who is doing
great and emotionaly stable now too!) is an angel to me has been great
inspiration.Now that I am down to an almost normal weight. My sleep
paralysis eps have completely subsided. I still have the occasional panic
attack. But nothing like the 12-30 a day!!!!!! I was having at one point in
my life. I still find it un-nerving to be around a very populated public
place yet. It is getting much easier though. I almost find myself wanting
to be seen now. Yes emotional baggage is hell. And I guess at some point
we do have to say,"screw it." If we don't it will consume us and eventualy
kill us. The urges and thoughts are always gonna be there in the back of
our mind scaring the mess out of us. I mean we live with these things for
so long there is no way to get rid of them all together. They are a part of
us by now. Little things can set off memories and pulling thoughts. LIke
for me just walking through the kitchen to go out the back door will make
me think about just raiding the cabnets and eating everything. (not that
there is anything bad there) but still. Normal people dont think those
things just walking through a kitchen. I have learned to live with those
thoughts but not give into them.(((oooooohhhh how hard))) but it can and
does get accomplished everyday by all of us.
WOW ok I could go on and on. LOL Geeeese I feel lighter as we speak. Lets
all keep on keepin on.

sorry for the lengthy post. @-@

Screw it, I am sick of dealing with all of this emotional baggage and
trying to work my way out of the hole that WAS my life. Alien, I know
how hard it is for you to change your life. Whereas you garden, I
take it to the gym now.... I put all that stress, compulsion and
obsession at the gym. I am trading one compulsion for another. It
may not be the healthiest move, but it is what I am doing.


Well I too just traded one obsession for another. But for a wayyyy more
healthier one. I'll take the compromise anyday. The good point is now we
are on our ways to a healthier life. ***(((AND WE ARE DOING IT!!!)))***


--
---------------
starting 365
current 216
goal 200
hieght 6'3"
27 male

NC In Da House
---------------

"Ignoramus24603" wrote in
message ...
In article , Perple Gyrl
wrote:


Do you have a mental picture of me as a huge, dangerous, big man,
with
magic abilities to wreck lives of distant people?



actually, i envision you as a REALLY SHORT guy, with an inflated
ego.
either stop changing your handle or teach me how to killfile you and
your changing name permanently!

thank you.............carry on!







"Ignoramus24603" wrote in
message ...
In article , rosie
wrote:


"Ignoramus24603" wrote in
message ...
In article , Perple Gyrl
wrote:


Do you have a mental picture of me as a huge, dangerous, big
man,
with
magic abilities to wreck lives of distant people?



actually, i envision you as a REALLY SHORT guy, with an inflated
ego.
either stop changing your handle or teach me how to killfile you
and
your changing name permanently!



try killfiling "ignoramus*" in outlook (note the star * after the
word
ignoramus. It is called a "wildcard".

i

MH wrote:

No one appreciates that kind of thing. I certainly don't. I hope he stops
and starts minding his own business.

Wait, now someone's bitching about conversation carried about something
they posted in a _public_ forum?

If your little ego can't handle people commenting on what you post -
DON'T POST!

--
Scott Johnson / scottjohnson at kc dot rr dot com

On Thu, 26 Feb 2004 15:14:49 GMT, alien
wrote:

moving story about his growing up and where his compulsive eating
came from

Alien, I'm so impressed with how you've overcome the difficulties and
challenges that you've faced. You're doing wonderfully! I'm glad we
in ASD can help.

Chris

I don't see him as a huge dangerous man... I too see him as a small minded,
small stature and small other things trying to make himself feel better
about himself by being a know-it-all in the group and toward several group
members. The pen is mightier then the sword...

"rosie" wrote in message
news


"Ignoramus24603" wrote in
message ...

Do you have a mental picture of me as a huge, dangerous, big man,
with
magic abilities to wreck lives of distant people?


actually, i envision you as a REALLY SHORT guy, with an inflated
ego.
either stop changing your handle or teach me how to killfile you and
your changing name permanently!

Hey Alien,

I feel for you! I am glad that you are succeeding with dealing with your
disorder. I am confident that you will be able to get to your goal and
maintain your weight and emotional state! I am so pleased to see you come
so far! You give me inspiration!

"alien" wrote in message

What created your obsession toward food???

I'm not sure really. I think maybe from a couple of places. I come from a
strong German background and when I was a little child We always had
family
gatherings every weekend. Where we would start eating around 2pm and not
finish until 10 or so that night! The courses kept comming and we kept
eating. Goodness forbid you passed up a course. I always heard,"you need
to
eat,you will be skinny as rail." So I ate. Then my parents got divorced
around the age of eight or so. which devistated me. One because that sort
of thing didnt happen in our family. To date my parents are still the only
ones divorced from the first generations of american borns from our
family.My parents faught even worse a year of so after the divorce than
they did while married.My father would always say it was us kids
fault.Then
the next moment he would be so kind and friendly. Then turn around and say
horrible things again.That same year my mother attempted suicide. She lay
in the hospital for a week on a respirator. We could only wait to see if
she pulled through. **can we all say,"it was an emotioinal
rollercoaster."** So I turned to the only comfort that made me feel like
I
did on family weekends. FOOD! It quickly turned into a disorder. My first
binge was around age 8 or so, and the feeling it gave me was outstanding.I
felt loved again. So I started binging more and more. The first few years
I
just blindly binged. It wasnt until I hit my teenage years that I started
planning binges and getting excited about them. All I ever heard from my
family most of the time was, oh you're just healthy. Your just big boned.
You'll grow out of it.That did nothing but give me the urge to binge more.
Those words made it feel..... OK.... By the time I was 18 I had went
through about 100 diets and as many therapist. By that time I knew I had a
problem. I just could NOT control it. By my early 20's I had developed
panic/anxiety disorder to boot and having night terrors/sleep
paralysis.Can
you imagine.Night terrors in my 20's!?!? These were brought on by my
realization of my former disorder and not being in control over it.
Finally
I learned to focus my urges to other areas. Well that along with the fact
I
was soooo fed up. For me at the time it was start living healthy or end it
right here and now. I started eating healthy and talking to others (like
you peeps) to KEEP motivated and focused.My family and friends finally
realized that I needed them more than ever as well. My mother (who is
doing
great and emotionaly stable now too!) is an angel to me has been great
inspiration.Now that I am down to an almost normal weight. My sleep
paralysis eps have completely subsided. I still have the occasional panic
attack. But nothing like the 12-30 a day!!!!!! I was having at one point
in
my life. I still find it un-nerving to be around a very populated public
place yet. It is getting much easier though. I almost find myself wanting
to be seen now. Yes emotional baggage is hell. And I guess at some
point
we do have to say,"screw it." If we don't it will consume us and eventualy
kill us. The urges and thoughts are always gonna be there in the back of
our mind scaring the mess out of us. I mean we live with these things for
so long there is no way to get rid of them all together. They are a part
of
us by now. Little things can set off memories and pulling thoughts. LIke
for me just walking through the kitchen to go out the back door will make
me think about just raiding the cabnets and eating everything. (not that
there is anything bad there) but still. Normal people dont think those
things just walking through a kitchen. I have learned to live with those
thoughts but not give into them.(((oooooohhhh how hard))) but it can and
does get accomplished everyday by all of us.
WOW ok I could go on and on. LOL Geeeese I feel lighter as we speak. Lets
all keep on keepin on.

sorry for the lengthy post. @-@

Screw it, I am sick of dealing with all of this emotional baggage and
trying to work my way out of the hole that WAS my life. Alien, I know
how hard it is for you to change your life. Whereas you garden, I
take it to the gym now.... I put all that stress, compulsion and
obsession at the gym. I am trading one compulsion for another. It
may not be the healthiest move, but it is what I am doing.


Well I too just traded one obsession for another. But for a wayyyy more
healthier one. I'll take the compromise anyday. The good point is now we
are on our ways to a healthier life. ***(((AND WE ARE DOING IT!!!)))***


--
---------------
starting 365
current 216
goal 200
hieght 6'3"
27 male

NC In Da House
---------------

Ignoramus24603 wrote:

In article , JMA wrote:

That's his problem. I just want him to stop talking about me like he knows
anything about me.

I will consider killfiling you for a couple of months.

I think that's an excellent idea. Your entire post was about how right
you are and how flawed she is. You've completely missed the point of a
support group, where people can come with their flaws and get help in
managing them. Yes, she's got weight issues! But I think you're not
only way off base to presume that she's not handling them well, but
you're endangering her very METHOD of handling them when you criticize
her for getting support.

You're doing more harm than good with your ham-handed attempts at
"helping". Kill-file her for both your sakes.

Dally

You mis-read that.... He wrote that I must see him as a big dangerous man
and I meant that his pen is mightier then the sword in respect to some of
his posts.

No, I am not going into specifics. I have gone into detail on previous
posts and I just don't have the energy or time to rehash and research
everything that he does to annoy, insult or anger me here. I don't have him
killfiled, but I do not respond to his posts directed to me or others here
anymore. He has repeatedly questioned me on many of the things I've done
and choices I've made. He also tries to act like an expert in things that
he knows nothing about. Anyone is free to "google" back posts to see for
themselves if they so desire.

There is no point in wasting my time to confront him on specific mis-guided
judgements. As I've said, he doesn't get it and never will get it...

I do avoid him for the most part. I just don't like the way he's been
responding to this thread. So what if I am "verbal" about it?? I am not
trying to make anyone's mind up about him or myself.

I am a very passionate person and I may speak up too much about things or
people that bother me... but that is me and my personality. You can
killfile me too if I bother you that much!

"Dally" wrote in message

I get that. But what is the point in filleting him with your mighty
pen? You just make yourself sound so cruel and petty.

If he just *is* something you don't like, why not just avoid him? He
freely
hands out info on how to killfile him. The entire world doesn't exist
to your specifications.

I'd much prefer people do what Jenn did, which is to call someone to
task for some specific thing they did. Your across-the-board judgment
that the man is hopelessly horrible is not useful, kind or likely to
result in anything other than just making yourself look bad. IMO.

No, you don't have to let him slide on attacks on you - feel free to
confront him on his specific false assumptions. In fact, feel free to
attack him all you want. Just be aware that people are watching and
listening to you and forming their own judgments.

Dally

"alien" wrote in
88.18...

major stuff snipped

That's quite a lot to go through in one relatively short life dude. Some of
it rang very true with me as with stuff PG and others have shared. In the
past when I've attempted to explain the perpective and where stuff comes
from it was referred to as psychobabble with no clinical basis by my least
favorite asd denzien.

Screw it, I am sick of dealing with all of this emotional baggage and
trying to work my way out of the hole that WAS my life. Alien, I know
how hard it is for you to change your life. Whereas you garden, I
take it to the gym now.... I put all that stress, compulsion and
obsession at the gym. I am trading one compulsion for another. It
may not be the healthiest move, but it is what I am doing.


Well I too just traded one obsession for another. But for a wayyyy more
healthier one. I'll take the compromise anyday. The good point is now we
are on our ways to a healthier life. ***(((AND WE ARE DOING IT!!!)))***

Absolutely! That's what counts the most. My trainer even said that on our
first day - to try and trade one compulsion for another. Another very
important thing to remember is that the stuff is always there. Make sure
that you have a way to deal with things when the walls come crashing in and
then have a back up plan for that. This isn't a problem that ever truly
goes away but instead goes into remission. OTOH one doesn't need to be
completely obsessed about it either - that's actually part of the disease.

Jenn