What I have been doing wrong (this time)

I feel I am in danger of failing once again to lose weight and maintain it.
I spent some time actually *thinking* about why I am doing so poorly. I tend
to slide my mind over things that are painful and think of other things. I
think that is why I am such a voracious reader, I can immerse myself in the
story and block out everything else.

1. I don't use Fitday anymore so I have NO IDEA what I am eating.
I will start that again on Sept 1. (why because that is the
date I have picked)

2. Instead of saying "I don't eat that" I have been trying to eat just a
little
No foods that aren't "allowed" on my OWL

3. The sweet corn is ripe and we Minnesota girls are *corn-fed* J.K. but it
is sooooo goood. and the
season is so short. I haven't eaten more than 6 this season.
I have 1 piece left with my name on it.

4. I am becoming more worried about my husband and his eventual decline
Might have to go back to my counselor, but I haven't been
able to discuss this with her, I will try

5. I quit concentrating on myself and instead am back caring for others
before myself. The year that I took off my weight was I called "The Year Of
Lor" and my family wasn't too thrilled with my self-involvement.
Devoting myself to Curt and the boys will not change the fact
of what is going on. I will devote more time to myself starting Sept 8, when
Trenton starts preschool

6. My spending has been severely restricted and it is harder for me to eat
what I used to . i.e. beef jerky and bottled water for snacks, steak, steak,
steak, . but really, I used to do all the shopping and I made sure that I
had "my foods" available. haven't been eating enough greens
Got another side of beef coming in 10 days. salad is cheap

7. I haven't been taking the time to make my lunch so my nutrition at work
is bad.
Just gotta start doing that again. I don't work again until
Sept 4. Make it the night before.

8. added a new antidepressant to deal.
That isn't going to change. I even have an Ativan 'script for
*really bad* times. 10/month

9. Lots of socializing with Curt because he seems to be in a rush to do so
many things THIS YEAR. what does he know that he isn't telling me???? I told
him last night that I have Prostate cancer too, just not in my body so I
don't feel it physically.
Golf season is almost over, he will be going on his last Elk
hunt (he says) in October, he isn't bowling this year so my Monday night VB
will be starting Sept 20.

10. I quit weighing myself every morning.
putting new batteries in the scale when I am done with this
post

11. stopped doing the Monthly Challenge.
I will be in for September!

thanks for listening.

--
Lori
220/15?/144
LC since 1/17/03
Devoted wife of Curtis, Stage 4 Prostate cancer at age 40
http://community.webshots.com/user/lorismiller-date


This is my plan for all the world to see.