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  #1  
Old November 4th, 2003, 01:49 PM
Logorrhea
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Default Playing games

Here's a point to debate. Is anyone trying to LC solo, without telling the
folks back home? I have so far lost 11 pounds [272 to 261] since 8/18
without DW noticing either the weight loss or the fact that I'm picking my
way selectively around the food in the evenings. That's not the full story,
as I got to 259 in early September - but then had an unrelated health
reverse which meant I put back 8 pounds over a month. I resumed this WOE
with determination on October 27.

Now, before anyone says anything, it is [of course] possible that she's
noticed the difference but is deliberately saying nothing - as her own way
of playing games with me! I don't think this is the case, however, as 5
years ago I grew a moustache while on vacation. She didn't like it, so I
shaved it off on our return. It really was 4 days before she noticed that!
More recently, she didn't even relate Saturday's necessary purchase of a
pair of suspenders to any physical change in me. She is usually very
observant. I guess that being with someone every day blinds you to
infinitesimal changes, whereas someone you don't see in 6 months will
immediately be struck by the difference in profile.

My WOE is to organize my own breakfast and lunch, and go carefully with the
evening meal. Weekends are tricky, because of eating with the kids. I tend
to stabilize my weight over Saturday and Sunday, resuming the down-curve on
Mondays.

I am 6'4", and my first target is 225. After that, we'll see ...


  #2  
Old November 4th, 2003, 02:33 PM
Luna
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Posts: n/a
Default Playing games

In article , "Logorrhea"
wrote:

Here's a point to debate. Is anyone trying to LC solo, without telling the
folks back home? I have so far lost 11 pounds [272 to 261] since 8/18
without DW noticing either the weight loss or the fact that I'm picking my
way selectively around the food in the evenings. That's not the full story,
as I got to 259 in early September - but then had an unrelated health
reverse which meant I put back 8 pounds over a month. I resumed this WOE
with determination on October 27.

Now, before anyone says anything, it is [of course] possible that she's
noticed the difference but is deliberately saying nothing - as her own way
of playing games with me! I don't think this is the case, however, as 5
years ago I grew a moustache while on vacation. She didn't like it, so I
shaved it off on our return. It really was 4 days before she noticed that!
More recently, she didn't even relate Saturday's necessary purchase of a
pair of suspenders to any physical change in me. She is usually very
observant. I guess that being with someone every day blinds you to
infinitesimal changes, whereas someone you don't see in 6 months will
immediately be struck by the difference in profile.

My WOE is to organize my own breakfast and lunch, and go carefully with the
evening meal. Weekends are tricky, because of eating with the kids. I tend
to stabilize my weight over Saturday and Sunday, resuming the down-curve on
Mondays.

I am 6'4", and my first target is 225. After that, we'll see ...



I don't understand. Why would you be keeping your new lifestyle a secret
from your wife? Do you think she wouldn't be supportive? Or do you think
you're going to fail so you don't want anyone else to know you even tried
in the first place? Or are you testing her in some way so that if she
doesn't notice on her own you can use this as ammunition in fights? Or
maybe you have a compassionate reason, such as, maybe she is overweight too
and you don't want to seem to be pressuring her into losing weight.

Deciding to change the way you eat and live and look and feel is a major
life decision, I think it's best to let your loved ones know you're doing
it. Losing weight isn't a minor thing like getting a haircut or growing a
mustache, it's a physical, mental, and emotional journey that can change
many aspects of your life. Be open and honest with your wife. And good
for you for starting and I wish you lots of luck and dropped pounds!

--
-Michelle Levin (Luna)
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick
http://www.mindspring.com/~designbyluna


  #3  
Old November 4th, 2003, 02:54 PM
Roger Zoul
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Posts: n/a
Default Playing games

Luna wrote:
:: In article , "Logorrhea"
:: wrote:
::
::: Here's a point to debate. Is anyone trying to LC solo, without
::: telling the folks back home? I have so far lost 11 pounds [272 to
::: 261] since 8/18 without DW noticing either the weight loss or the
::: fact that I'm picking my way selectively around the food in the
::: evenings. That's not the full story, as I got to 259 in early
::: September - but then had an unrelated health reverse which meant I
::: put back 8 pounds over a month. I resumed this WOE with
::: determination on October 27.
:::
::: Now, before anyone says anything, it is [of course] possible that
::: she's noticed the difference but is deliberately saying nothing -
::: as her own way of playing games with me!

I'd bet she has notice...and her not saying anything is likely not a
game...she could be very happy about it.

I don't think this is the
::: case, however, as 5 years ago I grew a moustache while on vacation.
::: She didn't like it, so I shaved it off on our return. It really
::: was 4 days before she noticed that!

I find it hard to believe that she saw you everyday and didn't notice your
moustache was missing. Come now.

More recently, she didn't even
::: relate Saturday's necessary purchase of a pair of suspenders to any
::: physical change in me.

But she may simply have thought you wanted a new pair!

She is usually very observant. I guess
::: that being with someone every day blinds you to infinitesimal
::: changes, whereas someone you don't see in 6 months will immediately
::: be struck by the difference in profile.

Honestly, I think you're misreading the sitaution.


:::
::: My WOE is to organize my own breakfast and lunch, and go carefully
::: with the evening meal. Weekends are tricky, because of eating with
::: the kids. I tend to stabilize my weight over Saturday and Sunday,
::: resuming the down-curve on Mondays.

If that works for you, more power to you!

:::
::: I am 6'4", and my first target is 225. After that, we'll see ...
:::
:::
::
:: I don't understand. Why would you be keeping your new lifestyle a
:: secret from your wife? Do you think she wouldn't be supportive? Or
:: do you think you're going to fail so you don't want anyone else to
:: know you even tried
:: in the first place? Or are you testing her in some way so that if
:: she doesn't notice on her own you can use this as ammunition in
:: fights? Or
:: maybe you have a compassionate reason, such as, maybe she is
:: overweight too and you don't want to seem to be pressuring her into
:: losing weight.
::

Maybe he wants his actions to speak for him. I find that announcing I'm
going to try to lose weight to people and then not doing it to be
embarrassing. Much better, imo, to just do it and let the resultl speak for
themselves.

I see no need for you or me or anyone to understand.

:: Deciding to change the way you eat and live and look and feel is a
:: major
:: life decision,

I agree.

I think it's best to let your loved ones know you're
:: doing
:: it.

Why? So they can see you fail? This becomes a major problem for people who
diet a lot and fail. Just do it -- don't yap about it. You can think of
that as a *man thang* if you wish.

Losing weight isn't a minor thing like getting a haircut or
:: growing a mustache, it's a physical, mental, and emotional journey
:: that can change
:: many aspects of your life.

True, but once he has lost enough for these factors to matter, what he is
doing will be obvious to everyone.

Be open and honest with your wife. And
:: good
:: for you for starting and I wish you lots of luck and dropped pounds!

His body, his science experiment. His wife is there to see what he is
eating....I don't see this as him not being open and honest with her....if
she asks, he can simply respond.



  #4  
Old November 4th, 2003, 03:17 PM
Logorrhea
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Posts: n/a
Default Playing games


"Luna" wrote in message
...

Look, I won't speculate about your private life if you won't speculate about
mine. ;-)

I don't understand. Why would you be keeping your new lifestyle a secret
from your wife?

What *I* don't understand is this mania to tell everybody every aspect of
one's life at all times. I'm not keeping a secret. I don't ask her to
choose my suits, or select my new motorbike. I don't seek a veto over her
actions. Maybe I don't regard this as being as radical as a 'new
lifestyle', but as an adaptation. Frankly, I'm finding the regime utterly
simple to adhere to - so far.

This is just a game, right, as in the subject line; no more than a playful
enterprise that we will both laugh about, whatever happens.

Do you think she wouldn't be supportive?

Of course she would be supportive; that really is the very least of my
concerns.

Or do you think you're going to fail so you don't want anyone else to know

you even tried in the first place?
I am doing this for myself, so there is no sense of success or failure; it
is simply something I choose to do, as a personal discipline. I've had a
bad few years, during which weight has crept on. Now, I'm in a better state
and able to kiss it goodbye.

Or are you testing her in some way

I am testing myself, and nobody else. I wouldn't insult her in that way!

so that if she doesn't notice on her own you can use this as ammunition in

fights?
We don't fight; we disagree [about lots!], but we don't fight. It will be
something we will laugh about.

Or maybe you have a compassionate reason, such as, maybe she is overweight
too and you don't want to seem to be pressuring her into losing weight.

She's not overweight. If she were, then we'd do Atkins together.

Clearly ours is an immensely fragile and unhealthy relationship, which is
destined not to last. We've only been married for 20 years, so we are
obviously still living in that myopic honeymoon glow.

Thanks for your comments, Luna. I have found them interesting and helpful,
for they have refined and defined my own thinking. Good luck with your own
program of weight-loss. This is a strong, positive and determined
newsgroup.


  #5  
Old November 4th, 2003, 03:22 PM
M.W.Smith
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Playing games

Logorrhea wrote:

"Luna" wrote in message
...

Look, I won't speculate about your private life if you won't speculate about
mine. ;-)


I don't understand. Why would you be keeping your new lifestyle a secret
from your wife?


What *I* don't understand is this mania to tell everybody every aspect of
one's life at all times. I'm not keeping a secret. I don't ask her to
choose my suits, or select my new motorbike. I don't seek a veto over her
actions. Maybe I don't regard this as being as radical as a 'new
lifestyle', but as an adaptation. Frankly, I'm finding the regime utterly
simple to adhere to - so far.

This is just a game, right, as in the subject line; no more than a playful
enterprise that we will both laugh about, whatever happens.


Well, being on the Atkins diet is a health issue. There
apparently have been cases of individuals getting into
severe medical strife while on the diet, possibly caused by
or agravated by the diet. I would think you would owe it to
your partner to tell him/her what you are doing, so that if
you are suddenly rushed to the hospital unconscious, the
doctor who treats you will have the full picture of your
medical situation.

martin

  #6  
Old November 4th, 2003, 03:31 PM
Logorrhea
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Playing games


"Roger Zoul" wrote in message
...
I find it hard to believe that she saw you everyday and didn't notice your
moustache was missing. Come now.


*Really*. That'e the way it happened. She tells the story against herself
with embarrassed gusto.

More recently, she didn't even
::: relate Saturday's necessary purchase of a pair of suspenders to any
::: physical change in me.

But she may simply have thought you wanted a new pair!


My first pair, damn it, ever.

She is usually very observant. I guess
::: that being with someone every day blinds you to infinitesimal
::: changes, whereas someone you don't see in 6 months will immediately
::: be struck by the difference in profile.

Honestly, I think you're misreading the sitaution.


You're probably right. She has obviously been cloned by an alien
civilization - which I didn't notice!

Maybe he wants his actions to speak for him. I find that announcing I'm
going to try to lose weight to people and then not doing it to be
embarrassing. Much better, imo, to just do it and let the resultl speak

for
themselves.

I see no need for you or me or anyone to understand.


That's ma man.

His body, his science experiment. His wife is there to see what he is
eating....I don't see this as him not being open and honest with her....if
she asks, he can simply respond.


Thank you.


  #7  
Old November 4th, 2003, 03:32 PM
Logorrhea
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Playing games


"M.W.Smith" wrote in message
...

Well, being on the Atkins diet is a health issue. There
apparently have been cases of individuals getting into
severe medical strife while on the diet, possibly caused by
or agravated by the diet. I would think you would owe it to
your partner to tell him/her what you are doing, so that if
you are suddenly rushed to the hospital unconscious, the
doctor who treats you will have the full picture of your
medical situation.


Yes, I though of having it tattooed on my top lip. But then, of course, she
wouldn't notice it!


  #8  
Old November 4th, 2003, 03:36 PM
M.W.Smith
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Playing games

Logorrhea wrote:

"M.W.Smith" wrote in message
...


Well, being on the Atkins diet is a health issue. There
apparently have been cases of individuals getting into
severe medical strife while on the diet, possibly caused by
or agravated by the diet. I would think you would owe it to
your partner to tell him/her what you are doing, so that if
you are suddenly rushed to the hospital unconscious, the
doctor who treats you will have the full picture of your
medical situation.



Yes, I though of having it tattooed on my top lip. But then, of course, she
wouldn't notice it!


Just to be sure you get the point, the weight loss phases of
this diet are a very powerful tool. You can get into trouble
if you screw up. Having said that, you are, of course, on
your own.

martin

  #9  
Old November 4th, 2003, 03:39 PM
Roger Zoul
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default Playing games

M.W.Smith wrote:
:: Logorrhea wrote:
::
::: "Luna" wrote in message
::: ...
:::
::: Look, I won't speculate about your private life if you won't
::: speculate about mine. ;-)
:::
:::
:::: I don't understand. Why would you be keeping your new lifestyle a
:::: secret from your wife?
:::
::: What *I* don't understand is this mania to tell everybody every
::: aspect of one's life at all times. I'm not keeping a secret. I
::: don't ask her to choose my suits, or select my new motorbike. I
::: don't seek a veto over her actions. Maybe I don't regard this as
::: being as radical as a 'new lifestyle', but as an adaptation.
::: Frankly, I'm finding the regime utterly simple to adhere to - so
::: far.
:::
::: This is just a game, right, as in the subject line; no more than a
::: playful enterprise that we will both laugh about, whatever happens.
::
:: Well, being on the Atkins diet is a health issue. There
:: apparently have been cases of individuals getting into
:: severe medical strife while on the diet, possibly caused by
:: or agravated by the diet. I would think you would owe it to
:: your partner to tell him/her what you are doing, so that if
:: you are suddenly rushed to the hospital unconscious, the
:: doctor who treats you will have the full picture of your
:: medical situation.
::

Please provide at least some proof of this claim....

Just because someone says they are doing Atkins doesn't make it so.




  #10  
Old November 4th, 2003, 03:40 PM
Jarkat2002
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Posts: n/a
Default Playing games

I find it hard to believe that she saw you everyday and didn't notice your
moustache was missing. Come now.


*Really*. That'e the way it happened. She tells the story against herself
with embarrassed gusto.


When my DH shaved off his beard and stach ... I cried
I know it was silly, but I had never seen him that way, he did it with out
warning AND I had just had a baby, so my hormones were wild.
He grew it back. :{)

About the games, it sounds like this is not the 1st game you have played in
your marriage. Maybe marriage counseling would be in order?
~Kat


"Rice Krispies. East meets west"
Cosmo Kramer
 




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