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#21
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Overweight Child
Your points are well taken, and appreciated. Thank you. Unlike you, I
wanted to lose weight when I was younger. I felt like an outcast as an overweight child. When I became a young adult, I took charge and changed my life----and I resented my mother for not giving the whole family better options when it came to food and exercise. I don't think I'm trying to make the kid feel shame though. I don't do that. I'm trying to impress upon her the importance of a healthy diet, making the right food choices and the value of physical activity. I have told her that she needs to pay attention to these issues, so that moving forward she won't have to struggle with her weight her whole life. And to be completely honest, I do find it horrendous that the kid can't do simple, sustained physical activity that she should do with ease as a young teenager. I'm sorry, but a kid that age shouldn't have a rotund belly that sticks out over her pants. I do find it extremely unattractive----I do admit that. Kids are not supposed to be like that. I don't expect the kid to have steel abs, but I would like to see her more healthy. To me, healthy means going light on sugar, fat, etc. Your body just plain feels better when you put good things in it and when you are physically active. Once you get used to that end of things, when you put bad things in your body and neglect physical activity, your demeanor is not as good. My work out schedule is not obsessive. I get regular work-outs doing strenuous activities, which is not obsessive. That's what you're supposed to do to keep in shape and have a healthy heart. Get physical activity at least 3 times per week. Is it hard? Of course it is, with the rest of life being so busy. But this is an investment in the bodies that are supposed to last us for decades. My mind is clearer, my attitude is better and it helps in managing stress. All I'm looking to "treat" at this point is getting the kid to do physical activity 3 times a week, getting all the junk food out of the house and strongly encouraging the consumption of fruits & veggies, and foods prepared in a healthy way in healthy portions--the way WW suggests. Nothing wrong with that-----but it takes work and sometimes it takes more than just a subtle suggestion. |
#22
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Overweight Child
"Lisa M" wrote in message ups.com... Your points are well taken, and appreciated. Thank you. Unlike you, I wanted to lose weight when I was younger. I felt like an outcast as an overweight child. When I became a young adult, I took charge and changed my life----and I resented my mother for not giving the whole family better options when it came to food and exercise. I don't think I'm trying to make the kid feel shame though. I don't do that. I'm trying to impress upon her the importance of a healthy diet, making the right food choices and the value of physical activity. I have told her that she needs to pay attention to these issues, so that moving forward she won't have to struggle with her weight her whole life. And to be completely honest, I do find it horrendous that the kid can't do simple, sustained physical activity that she should do with ease as a young teenager. I'm sorry, but a kid that age shouldn't have a rotund belly that sticks out over her pants. I do find it extremely unattractive----I do admit that. Kids are not supposed to be like that. I don't expect the kid to have steel abs, but I would like to see her more healthy. To me, healthy means going light on sugar, fat, etc. Your body just plain feels better when you put good things in it and when you are physically active. Once you get used to that end of things, when you put bad things in your body and neglect physical activity, your demeanor is not as good. My work out schedule is not obsessive. I get regular work-outs doing strenuous activities, which is not obsessive. That's what you're supposed to do to keep in shape and have a healthy heart. Get physical activity at least 3 times per week. Is it hard? Of course it is, with the rest of life being so busy. But this is an investment in the bodies that are supposed to last us for decades. My mind is clearer, my attitude is better and it helps in managing stress. All I'm looking to "treat" at this point is getting the kid to do physical activity 3 times a week, getting all the junk food out of the house and strongly encouraging the consumption of fruits & veggies, and foods prepared in a healthy way in healthy portions--the way WW suggests. Nothing wrong with that-----but it takes work and sometimes it takes more than just a subtle suggestion. Lisa, I think your heart is in the right place. Is there any kind of physical activity she likes? My student began to lose by playing basketball with his buddies. I like to walk and know that gentle hiking and even walking around the neighborhood are good ways for me to lose weight. You could never force me into a gym. I am totally uncoordinated and embarrassed. I am going to take a gentle stretching class beginning the 23rd through the local adult school and I bought a basic yoga tape at Target. I tried yoga last year and liked it but again, I don't like group exercise. Does she have physical education at school? There are yummy lower cal treats she may like such as salsa mixed with plain yogurt or nf cottage cheese and veggies as dippers. You can make your own healthy pizzas. If you are in charge of buying the groceries and planning the meals, you can help her a lot. There will still be sneaking and going off the program but if she sees a weight loss, she'll know it's a good plan for anyone. Audrey |
#23
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Overweight Child
Thanks for your support.
She seems to like the walking & hiking at the moment, so I think that's an option. In the warmer months she has walked to school (a mile) but the cold weather seems to have made this option not as palatable for her. Our pool is closed for the winter, but we do have the opportunity to join a local program for "family swim" at a pool later this month. While I think doing laps would be of the greatest benefit, I'll take them to splash around while I do laps. It's better than sitting around watching TV. (Laps is boring for adults, let alone a kid.) I'm looking at having a physical activity 3 times per week, so swimming, walking and some other activity would work. The winter weather has presented some challenge in this area. We have the kids 5 days a week, and their mother has them 2 ½ days. That adds to our challenge, since there they are eating pizza, ice cream and the like when they're there. Your suggestion of salsa is a great one, and I like having a home made salsa on hand at all times to add to whatever the meat course is for dinner, or piled atop a salad. It is really refreshing, and it gets the veggies in. Thanks again! |
#24
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Overweight Child
I think it is critically important to not have "junk" in the house. For
normal weight people as well as others. The diet of the US in general is disgusting. I am in no way advocating that anyone eat a poor diet. Here is the odd thing. I too "wanted" desperately to be slim. That is irrelevant. Kids ALL want to lose weight today, the normal weight ones want it out front and will discuss it ad nauseum with all their normal weight friends. The shame I speak of is already being piled onto this child by that same television that advertises super sizing the burgers, not to mention all of her peer group. Fat kids don't talk about it because it is too painful. When I was 11 I was just about the size of the child you describe. Nothing like what I was at my worst when I weighed in at WW once and the scale went CLANG at 350, and stayed firmly stuck with the metal bar on the top of the little box, unable to weigh me at all. We guessed 365 back then in 1981. So that is what I use for my top weight. I exercise too. The thing that triggered that comment for me is that you gained when you couldn't . I know I am being offensive, but this is indicative of an emotional eating problem as well. When I have something that interferes with my exercise program today, and heck, life happens... I alter my intake to correspond. And I am human, sometimes I get into my "red" zone, and have to lose 3 or 4 pounds. I have been at lifetime for 29 months now and probably have had to lose that 3 or 4 a good 30 times over that period. Since I did in fact work on my emotional issues however, if I can't exercise I know it is a problem and I adjust my food. I am admittedly still over involved with food. The thing that is so very important here is not the size of the child, it is the acceptance and love she gets at home. It is absolutely the best thing to eat what you want her to eat, Everyone in the house, and to be aware that a growing child needs more calories in total than you do. And to not spread the shame. It is way more important to her eventual health that she feel loved unconditionally. -- Lesanne "Lisa M" wrote in message ups.com... Your points are well taken, and appreciated. Thank you. Unlike you, I wanted to lose weight when I was younger. I felt like an outcast as an overweight child. When I became a young adult, I took charge and changed my life----and I resented my mother for not giving the whole family better options when it came to food and exercise. I don't think I'm trying to make the kid feel shame though. I don't do that. I'm trying to impress upon her the importance of a healthy diet, making the right food choices and the value of physical activity. I have told her that she needs to pay attention to these issues, so that moving forward she won't have to struggle with her weight her whole life. And to be completely honest, I do find it horrendous that the kid can't do simple, sustained physical activity that she should do with ease as a young teenager. I'm sorry, but a kid that age shouldn't have a rotund belly that sticks out over her pants. I do find it extremely unattractive----I do admit that. Kids are not supposed to be like that. I don't expect the kid to have steel abs, but I would like to see her more healthy. To me, healthy means going light on sugar, fat, etc. Your body just plain feels better when you put good things in it and when you are physically active. Once you get used to that end of things, when you put bad things in your body and neglect physical activity, your demeanor is not as good. My work out schedule is not obsessive. I get regular work-outs doing strenuous activities, which is not obsessive. That's what you're supposed to do to keep in shape and have a healthy heart. Get physical activity at least 3 times per week. Is it hard? Of course it is, with the rest of life being so busy. But this is an investment in the bodies that are supposed to last us for decades. My mind is clearer, my attitude is better and it helps in managing stress. All I'm looking to "treat" at this point is getting the kid to do physical activity 3 times a week, getting all the junk food out of the house and strongly encouraging the consumption of fruits & veggies, and foods prepared in a healthy way in healthy portions--the way WW suggests. Nothing wrong with that-----but it takes work and sometimes it takes more than just a subtle suggestion. |
#25
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Overweight Child
Regarding exercise, the kids really seem to like those dance things. Wish I
knew what they were called, they put a mat on the floor and a video comes with it - their kind of music. Bicycle? I know it's hard in the cold. I use an IPOD with my music to turn many activities into exercise. I will ask again Does Dad do any activity that he could include his children in? food, make dessert but sneak fruit into everything. Like apple crumble with oatmeal topping, pumpkin pie made with skim evap. milk and splenda. Get some of the Blue Bunny sugar free lowfat ice cream. If you have time, maybe even make some low sugar low fat oatmeal cookies. Make her aware that she can eat well without making all the high calorie choices. The important thing is to not mention it when negative stuff comes to your attention. Eliminate the rebellion factor. If this is impossible for you check out some help with it for yourself. Learn how to project unconditional love. And then set a good example. You could look at the weekend where she eats whatever as a refeed period if she is getting enough activity in . -- Lesanne "Lisa M" wrote in message ups.com... Thanks for your support. She seems to like the walking & hiking at the moment, so I think that's an option. In the warmer months she has walked to school (a mile) but the cold weather seems to have made this option not as palatable for her. Our pool is closed for the winter, but we do have the opportunity to join a local program for "family swim" at a pool later this month. While I think doing laps would be of the greatest benefit, I'll take them to splash around while I do laps. It's better than sitting around watching TV. (Laps is boring for adults, let alone a kid.) I'm looking at having a physical activity 3 times per week, so swimming, walking and some other activity would work. The winter weather has presented some challenge in this area. We have the kids 5 days a week, and their mother has them 2 ½ days. That adds to our challenge, since there they are eating pizza, ice cream and the like when they're there. Your suggestion of salsa is a great one, and I like having a home made salsa on hand at all times to add to whatever the meat course is for dinner, or piled atop a salad. It is really refreshing, and it gets the veggies in. Thanks again! |
#26
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Overweight Child
I'm not sure what's going on with her as far as her body image.
When she got busted sneaking the left over Halloween candy in her father's closet that she snooped to find, she claimed that she's not concerned with her weight "right now" and that it is her "right" to have that candy that she worked hard to get ("work" = trick-or-treating). Of course, he should have dumped it months ago...But I found it interesting that she said that she doesn't care about that "right now". She's wanted "belly shirts" in the past, and thinks nothing of putting on the shortest skort for school (which has since been tossed.) Part of my dilemma is that she SAYS she doesn't care, and acts like she doesn't care. Her particular peer group don't seem very interested in make-up, clothes or weight. The reality is that her father and I give her nurturing, which we do in many ways. I just can't support watching the kid abuse her body and demand that we support this by handing over the garbage she would rather eat than the healthy food I'm trying hard to get these kids to even try. We've graduated to spinach salads, which even though it takes the kids a long time to get into them at the dinner table, we are getting that food into them. I've gotten them to try a couple of new things which have become part of their food vocabulary. "Core" turkey stew is another one of these things, which I love. And believe me, this has been and continues to be a struggle...getting them to even try something new. I think I'm forcing the issue because of how painful it was to be an overweight kid myself, and how I need to work hard to maintain a healthy weight for myself. Honestly, I believe that part of the struggle to lose weight is for people to cultivate a positive self image that was so sorely lacking as kids grew up into overweight adults, along with learning new eating habits. In concert with giving her the emotional support she needs, I do believe that offering a positive role model and better choices is the way to go. Don't we all need that?? |
#27
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Overweight Child
On 2 Jan 2006 12:00:24 -0800, "Lisa M" wrote:
Your points are well taken, and appreciated. Thank you. Unlike you, I wanted to lose weight when I was younger. I felt like an outcast as an overweight child. When I became a young adult, I took charge and changed my life----and I resented my mother for not giving the whole family better options when it came to food and exercise. Do you still resent your mother? I don't think I'm trying to make the kid feel shame though. I don't do that. I'm trying to impress upon her the importance of a healthy diet, making the right food choices and the value of physical activity. I have told her that she needs to pay attention to these issues, so that moving forward she won't have to struggle with her weight her whole life. "The kid?" Wow, I'm feeling the love. SHE IS TWELVE YEARS OLD! Why not just give her a break? Does she live with you or her fat slob mother? Isn't this really what it's about? And to be completely honest, I do find it horrendous that the kid can't do simple, sustained physical activity that she should do with ease as a young teenager. I'm sorry, but a kid that age shouldn't have a rotund belly that sticks out over her pants. I do find it extremely unattractive----I do admit that. Kids are not supposed to be like that. I don't expect the kid to have steel abs, but I would like to see her more healthy. To me, healthy means going light on sugar, fat, etc. Your body just plain feels better when you put good things in it and when you are physically active. Once you get used to that end of things, when you put bad things in your body and neglect physical activity, your demeanor is not as good. You need sensitivity training and some therapy. Your resentment is obvious and I think you are dangerous to this child, or kid, as you so lovingly call her. Her father should tell you to mind your business. My work out schedule is not obsessive. I get regular work-outs doing strenuous activities, which is not obsessive. That's what you're supposed to do to keep in shape and have a healthy heart. Get physical activity at least 3 times per week. Is it hard? Of course it is, with the rest of life being so busy. But this is an investment in the bodies that are supposed to last us for decades. My mind is clearer, my attitude is better and it helps in managing stress. My grandmother never excersized a day in her life and she is 97. All I'm looking to "treat" at this point is getting the kid to do physical activity 3 times a week, getting all the junk food out of the house and strongly encouraging the consumption of fruits & veggies, and foods prepared in a healthy way in healthy portions--the way WW suggests. Nothing wrong with that-----but it takes work and sometimes it takes more than just a subtle suggestion. You are not subtle. You are going to be the cause of an eating disorder. Is that what you want? That poor child. |
#28
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Overweight Child
Dad is an avid cyclist, and the kids have joined him in that at times.
Personally, I'm not convinced this is the best physical activity for girls that age, since it takes more than just tooling around the block to have some affect. The little one (10 year old), Dad and I bought a belly dancing DVD. The three of us did it in the den, and we had a great time! The older one wanted no part of it, which I think is partially due to my involvement, her kid sister's involvement and the fact that she thinks that now that she's 13 she gets to be a princess (which she has mentioned specifically a number of times.) I like the idea of healthier snacks, but I'm against any of the artificial sweeteners in anything. If I look, I'm sure I can find some WW core recipes that offer good dessert options without too much artificial ingredients. Thanks for the suggestions. I have a question...I'm seeing lots of posts mentioning unconditional love & giving love. Would anyone care to expand on this? (The kids' mother for the most part abandoned them, and MY father left us at an early age-which coincided with my childhood weight-gain...) I'd like to hear other peoples' accounts on how they believe parental love or spousal love plays into our eating behaviors. |
#29
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Overweight Child
"Lisa M" wrote in message ups.com... Dad is an avid cyclist, and the kids have joined him in that at times. Personally, I'm not convinced this is the best physical activity for girls that age, since it takes more than just tooling around the block to have some affect. The little one (10 year old), Dad and I bought a belly dancing DVD. The three of us did it in the den, and we had a great time! The older one wanted no part of it, which I think is partially due to my involvement, her kid sister's involvement and the fact that she thinks that now that she's 13 she gets to be a princess (which she has mentioned specifically a number of times.) I like the idea of healthier snacks, but I'm against any of the artificial sweeteners in anything. If I look, I'm sure I can find some WW core recipes that offer good dessert options without too much artificial ingredients. Thanks for the suggestions. I have a question...I'm seeing lots of posts mentioning unconditional love & giving love. Would anyone care to expand on this? (The kids' mother for the most part abandoned them, and MY father left us at an early age-which coincided with my childhood weight-gain...) I'd like to hear other peoples' accounts on how they believe parental love or spousal love plays into our eating behaviors. Lisa, the cycling is awesome especially since it is an activity she'll do with her father. Put aside your views on it. If I were a teen, you would never ever see me belly dancing with the family. Perhaps I would behind the locked door in my bedroom.Yes, she is a princess at thirteen and hopefully she will enjoy ever minute of her pre-teen years and not hate them as most kids do. They mostly all think they are fat and ugly no matter what. I was a high school counselor and still teach high school kids and those pre-teen years are horrible. Riding a bike with her dad and other siblings is a lot easier than belly dancing with the family. Trust me. I've used artificail sweetners for 46 years and I am just fine Audrey |
#30
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Overweight Child
Jangchub wrote: On 2 Jan 2006 12:00:24 -0800, "Lisa M" wrote: Your points are well taken, and appreciated. Thank you. Unlike you, I wanted to lose weight when I was younger. I felt like an outcast as an overweight child. When I became a young adult, I took charge and changed my life----and I resented my mother for not giving the whole family better options when it came to food and exercise. Do you still resent your mother? No--but I'm starting to resent you. Do you have anything at all positive to add to the discussion? I don't think I'm trying to make the kid feel shame though. I don't do that. I'm trying to impress upon her the importance of a healthy diet, making the right food choices and the value of physical activity. I have told her that she needs to pay attention to these issues, so that moving forward she won't have to struggle with her weight her whole life. "The kid?" Wow, I'm feeling the love. SHE IS TWELVE YEARS OLD! Why not just give her a break? Does she live with you or her fat slob mother? Isn't this really what it's about? No--this is about healthy weight management. "Kid", "child" --what's the difference? I'm not getting anything positive out of what you're saying here. And to be completely honest, I do find it horrendous that the kid can't do simple, sustained physical activity that she should do with ease as a young teenager. I'm sorry, but a kid that age shouldn't have a rotund belly that sticks out over her pants. I do find it extremely unattractive----I do admit that. Kids are not supposed to be like that. I don't expect the kid to have steel abs, but I would like to see her more healthy. To me, healthy means going light on sugar, fat, etc. Your body just plain feels better when you put good things in it and when you are physically active. Once you get used to that end of things, when you put bad things in your body and neglect physical activity, your demeanor is not as good. You need sensitivity training and some therapy. Your resentment is obvious and I think you are dangerous to this child, or kid, as you so lovingly call her. Her father should tell you to mind your business. My work out schedule is not obsessive. I get regular work-outs doing strenuous activities, which is not obsessive. That's what you're supposed to do to keep in shape and have a healthy heart. Get physical activity at least 3 times per week. Is it hard? Of course it is, with the rest of life being so busy. But this is an investment in the bodies that are supposed to last us for decades. My mind is clearer, my attitude is better and it helps in managing stress. My grandmother never excersized a day in her life and she is 97. And your point is? All I'm looking to "treat" at this point is getting the kid to do physical activity 3 times a week, getting all the junk food out of the house and strongly encouraging the consumption of fruits & veggies, and foods prepared in a healthy way in healthy portions--the way WW suggests. Nothing wrong with that-----but it takes work and sometimes it takes more than just a subtle suggestion. You are not subtle. You are going to be the cause of an eating disorder. Is that what you want? That poor child. You're very negative. |
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