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#81
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Overweight Child
and you know what I always say... don't worry about me... until all of my
personalities decide they don't like you, then look out, Lee Jangchub wrote in message ... On Thu, 05 Jan 2006 05:16:32 GMT, "Willow" wrote: Psychotic can be good !! *grin* I guess, but I'm not psychotic LOL! I just called it as I saw it. I didn't say it the same way others did. I don't walk on eggshells or tip toe around people and their abusive behavior. I have a huge spot for children and how their well meaning parents or step parents show their "love." Just about everyone said the same things I said, but they all said it softly. Same songs, different birds. |
#82
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Overweight Child
very well put, nobody is questioning your intent, we are trying to help with
methodology, Lee Willow wrote in message . net... Find yourself a good book about teenagers psychology.. There's obviously big gaps in your knowledge in that area and that could be disastrous for both of you. Until you accept that and deal with that.. you're wrecking the ship.. What it boils down to, and what pretty much everybody has told you, is that you're going at it the wrong way, you're not the person who can help her with that unless SHE decides you are... and forcing the issue will only make things worst. You mean well, you want to help and that's great, but get infos, see specialists (see them yourself, don't force her to see them), read books, make sure you know what you're doing before you destroy her self esteem. -- Will~ "... so that's how liberty ends, in a round of applause." Queen Amidala, The revenge of the Syth. "Lisa M" wrote in message ups.com... I'm not sure what's going on with her as far as her body image. When she got busted sneaking the left over Halloween candy in her father's closet that she snooped to find, she claimed that she's not concerned with her weight "right now" and that it is her "right" to have that candy that she worked hard to get ("work" = trick-or-treating). Of course, he should have dumped it months ago...But I found it interesting that she said that she doesn't care about that "right now". She's wanted "belly shirts" in the past, and thinks nothing of putting on the shortest skort for school (which has since been tossed.) Part of my dilemma is that she SAYS she doesn't care, and acts like she doesn't care. Her particular peer group don't seem very interested in make-up, clothes or weight. The reality is that her father and I give her nurturing, which we do in many ways. I just can't support watching the kid abuse her body and demand that we support this by handing over the garbage she would rather eat than the healthy food I'm trying hard to get these kids to even try. We've graduated to spinach salads, which even though it takes the kids a long time to get into them at the dinner table, we are getting that food into them. I've gotten them to try a couple of new things which have become part of their food vocabulary. "Core" turkey stew is another one of these things, which I love. And believe me, this has been and continues to be a struggle...getting them to even try something new. I think I'm forcing the issue because of how painful it was to be an overweight kid myself, and how I need to work hard to maintain a healthy weight for myself. Honestly, I believe that part of the struggle to lose weight is for people to cultivate a positive self image that was so sorely lacking as kids grew up into overweight adults, along with learning new eating habits. In concert with giving her the emotional support she needs, I do believe that offering a positive role model and better choices is the way to go. Don't we all need that?? |
#83
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Overweight Child
*raises hand to indicate another same story* Lee
Jangchub wrote in message ... On Sat, 7 Jan 2006 17:39:57 -0600, "Nunya B." wrote: "Jangchub" wrote in message .. . On Fri, 6 Jan 2006 14:08:17 -0600, "Nunya B." wrote: Wow, that's patience. We emailed for a week, talked on the phone for 3 weeks and then had our first date and have been together ever since, but only got married 5 years ago. That's funny! We met online, started phoning, then three weeks later I said I thought I was crazy, but that I was falling love with him and he said he was already in love with me! We met in person a few months later and have not been apart since. I moved from New York to Texas and never went back! Well, to visit my mother and friends. We've been married for 13 years and lived together for five. We were fortunate enough to be within a few hours drive of each other. Even though we've been together since our first date, it took me a few months before I could let things get serious since I was still in the midst of my divorce and rather gun shy. Wow, we are three peas in a pod! I was married, getting a divorce and living in the same house, but totally apart when I met my current husband. I was on my way out of here. I wanted to go to Arizona and see the Grand Canyon. I posted that on a bulletin board I frequented on Prodigy and this man said to stop off in Texas for dinner. The rest is history. I swear I had NO intention of getting involved with anyone again. I really wanted to be alone and with freedom and solace. It worked out very well, I must say. |
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