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#11
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Tina -- Great numbers, though! Supah!
I'm glad you found your motivation and your way to get to your goals! Yours, Caleb |
#12
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"Caleb" wrote in message ups.com... I'm a believer in the power of praise and a disbeliever in criticism (in changing behavior). I think even minor negative comments can be toxic and have a negative impact on people (even if well intentioned) and I believe that positive comments can have a heck of a positive impact -- helping us reach goals we never thought possible. Last week I attended a meeting for work with about 300 people in attendance. The speaker did a demonstration about how negative comments can literally reduce a person's physical strength. He then did a wild demonstration about how negative *thoughts* could do the same thing. Meanwhile the positive comments and thoughts worked to restore strength or even counteract the negative. The speaker was able to convince me and everyone else in the room that there really is *power* in positive thinking. What is the best thing that you can remember people saying about your losing? And what do you want to hear more of? I didn't mind the occasional compliment, but after a while it was all people could talk about and eventually I got very tired of only being "the fat chick that lost all of that weight." People would ask the most invasive personal questions and I didn't care for it in the least. I will say though that at this meeting I mentioned above I saw some former coworkers I hadn't seen for a year or more and many of them complimented the fact that I was keeping off the weight. That felt good, especially when the conversation quickly shifted to non weight related topics. -- the volleyballchick |
#13
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"Crafting Mom" wrote in message news On Sat, 03 Sep 2005 14:50:16 -0400, Janie wrote: from other people. Frankly, I don't think we should comment about anybody's weight. JMO, but I think it is rude to comment one way or the other. I'm in this camp too. We've grown into a society that is too invasive of other people's bodies. I don't like having to give an "eating seminar" wherever I go (unless they want to pay me haha), and I just want to live the rest of my life. I couldn't agree with you more. I was raised not to ask those kinds of deeply personal questions of people I barely know. I was shocked at how bold some of those questions were. -- the volleyballchick |
#14
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"Janie" wrote in message ... I certainly don't consider diets as a "fun" topic for conversations. I have much more interesting things to discuss with people in my life. My personal experience with diet discussions has been anything but fun. In some groups people bring up diets as a opportunity to take cheap shots and make personal remarks without speaking directly to heavier people who are present. Frankly, I hate the people who are constantly talking about diets and only concerned about five vanity pounds. I also dislike those who have lost weight and continue to make it their favorite topic for the rest of their lives, especially when they use it as a opportunity to put down those who haven't been as successful with the dieting efforts or use it as a constant excuse to seek endless praise and complements forever. I am in the same boat as you. I dislike being the center of attention though there are people who need it even though they probably claim to have no emotional issues. I don't mind talking about healthy eating/nutrition but I dislike discussing diet plans. I also enjoy talking about and comparing notes on physical activites. I only discuss dieting in a support group with people who struggle as I do to maintain any weight loss while trying to get to an even healthier weight. The problem is simply that so many people do not talk about dieting and weight loss in a respectful manner. And please remember that what may seem respectful to you may actually be hurtful to someone who would rather not discuss the topic but is forced to be polite whenever it comes up in conversation. I've smiled my way through diet conversations when I would rather have rammed a doughnut down the throat of the speaker just to shut them off. Thanks, but the size of my ass just isn't open for "fun" conversations. LOL - My new favorite saying has been that "just because you lost your ass doesn't make you less of one" -- the volleyballchick |
#15
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On Sun, 04 Sep 2005 06:04:02 +0000, Ignoramus14363 wrote:
I have thin friends and fat friends, mostly thin. (some of these thin friends used to be fat). We like to talk about dieting sometimes and it is a fun topic for conversations. Just today we had about 20 people over (counting kids) and spoke a bit about diets etc. Everyone could choose what to eat and no one insisted that someone else should eat something. I cannot see just what is terrible about talking about dieting in a respectful manner, or commenting about weight loss of others if prompted. Nothing is wrong with it, if it's already morphed into a topic that everyone mutually wants to talk about. What I personally was alluding to, was friends and acquaintances just coming up out of the blue and saying "Hey there, you lost weight! How did you do it?".... sometimes people don't want to spend entire every waking thought underscoring their way of life, and how and why it works for them. They just want to walk the walk and not have to open their mouths. I don't even discuss what I am doing with friends or family, or how I am doing it. I never make it an issue. My "naturally thin" friends who are not on diets get to just live their lives and not talk about food with every person they bump into. I love my friends with whom I can discuss guitars and music, children, movies, news stories, THEIR lives, our lives, these topics and common interests just seem to come naturally to them. It's nice to just give the topic a break. The assumption seems to be that if a formerly fat person is getting smaller, then they MUST INDEED be desperate to share the glory with everyone. Um, sometimes, no. When the topic of diets comes up and people notice my body and start gushing, I'll just smile and nod and change the topic. But boy oh boy, I will be glad when the novelty of me losing weight wears off, and I can just be *me*, not "that dieter". -- Disclaimer: Everything authored by me is my own opinion and personal experience, unless otherwise indicated. |
#16
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On Sun, 04 Sep 2005 04:48:19 -0400, Janie wrote:
The important words here are "if prompted". Individual reactions vary. If somebody wants to talk or seems to thrive on praise and compliments then comment. Otherwise, perhaps it is best to keep quiet. Some of us like to avoid this topic while others enjoy talking at length. It's like politics or religion, some want to get into endless discussions while others want to avoid the whole situation. I agree. I have extremely strong opinions about food, and want to keep it to myself, because I want to respect others way of life. My opinions about food are deeply ingrained and unlikely to change, and I don't like a situation where I am cast in the role of coming across as argumentative, when it's mostly just "firm in my stance". Much like my faith. If people are insisting on talking about food, and it's a group, I will just *listen* to other people talk, and nod politely. It seems that when someone is eager to talk about food anyway, there's little room to cut in anyway ;-). -- Disclaimer: Everything authored by me is my own opinion and personal experience, unless otherwise indicated. |
#17
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Ig -- I agree with you about the poor health prognosis for me if I
hadn't lost weight before. No comparison between where I am now as compared to 6 years ago. All major risk factors are down, down, down. (Except for age, perhaps.) I wish everyone success, by whatever methods they use! Yours, Caleb |
#18
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"Nunya B." wrote in message ... "Caleb" wrote in message ups.com... I'm a believer in the power of praise and a disbeliever in criticism (in changing behavior). I think even minor negative comments can be toxic and have a negative impact on people (even if well intentioned) and I believe that positive comments can have a heck of a positive impact -- helping us reach goals we never thought possible. Last week I attended a meeting for work with about 300 people in attendance. The speaker did a demonstration about how negative comments can literally reduce a person's physical strength. He then did a wild demonstration about how negative *thoughts* could do the same thing. Meanwhile the positive comments and thoughts worked to restore strength or even counteract the negative. The speaker was able to convince me and everyone else in the room that there really is *power* in positive thinking. I love to hear this, VBC! I'm a big believer in positive thinking, knowing what the difference has been between the negative me and the positive me. In fact, positive thinking is one of my four cornerstones of health -- exercise, food plan, water drinking and positive thinking. Thanks for mentioning this experience -- wish I could have been there to see that speaker. There's a saying in OA that "Every binge begins with a negative thought." Mary |
#19
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I don't mind if people mention my weight loss to me. I can't say that I live for compliments, but they are nice when they happen. The only thing I don't like is the inevitable "How did you do it" question because I feel like I might be sounding like something of a smartass for answering "By eating less and exercising more". People want to hear about new miracle pills, diet, or supplements I found, not this! But just mentioning that I look different and better to them? No problem. I've taken it upon myself to make a drastic change in my appearance. I hope that I achieve it one day. I think it would be unrealistic to take the stance that it's rude for other people to comment upon. -- Annie As of 8-26-05: 258/210.5/140 Standing at 5 foot 4. 47.5 pounds lost. 70.5 left to go. Started February/07/05 Come visit my weight-loss web site, Annie Takes Off. http://webpages.charter.net/lenny13/DietFrontPage.html |
#20
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"Annie Benson Lennaman" wrote in message . .. I don't mind if people mention my weight loss to me. I can't say that I live for compliments, but they are nice when they happen. The only thing I don't like is the inevitable "How did you do it" question because I feel like I might be sounding like something of a smartass for answering "By eating less and exercising more". People want to hear about new miracle pills, diet, or supplements I found, not this! But just mentioning that I look different and better to them? No problem. I've taken it upon myself to make a drastic change in my appearance. I hope that I achieve it one day. I think it would be unrealistic to take the stance that it's rude for other people to comment upon. -- Annie As of 8-26-05: 258/210.5/140 Standing at 5 foot 4. 47.5 pounds lost. 70.5 left to go. Started February/07/05 Come visit my weight-loss web site, Annie Takes Off. http://webpages.charter.net/lenny13/DietFrontPage.html Amen to that! I hear the same things, sometimes it bothers me when I hear "I wish I could lose X lbs". I tell them how I do it, but explain that you have to be in the frame of mind to do it. I'm not losing no 10 vanity pounds here, this is a lifestyle change that will last... Matt V 481/303/241 (starting weight/current weight/goal weight) First mini goal achieved - 104lbs lost 10/26/04 Second mini goal achieved - 137lbs lost 01/28/05 Third mini goal - 300lbs (or 181lbs lost) by 09/30/05 |
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