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#1
May 30th, 2004, 03:19 AM
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Have a read...interesting!!
Questions to Ponder. . . . . we've seen 'em before... but bet you still don't know the answers....LOL Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's ass." Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing and read on. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut,why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your OB -GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? Stop singing and read on. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the ! window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? 
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#2
May 30th, 2004, 03:33 AM
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Have a read...interesting!!
jokes are not low carb.
-- Sheli "deeder" wrote in message news:9xbuc.619044$oR5.249286@pd7tw3no... Questions to Ponder. . . . . we've seen 'em before... but bet you still don't know the answers....LOL Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's ass." Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing and read on. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut,why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your OB -GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? Stop singing and read on. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the ! window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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#3
May 30th, 2004, 03:36 AM
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Have a read...interesting!!
There you go.
-- Eat less, exercise more. -- MFW -- "guitarprincess" wrote in message .. . jokes are not low carb. -- Sheli "deeder" wrote in message news:9xbuc.619044$oR5.249286@pd7tw3no... Questions to Ponder. . . . . we've seen 'em before... but bet you still don't know the answers....LOL Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's ass." Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing and read on. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut,why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your OB -GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? Stop singing and read on. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the ! window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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#4
May 30th, 2004, 03:46 AM
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Have a read...interesting!!
guitarprincess" wrote
jokes are not low carb. Where is that a joke? if you read it, you would have found something interesting? tell me is JC low carb?? bandwagon jumper!!! LOL on you Sheli "guitarprincess" wrote in message .. . jokes are not low carb. -- Sheli "deeder" wrote in message news:9xbuc.619044$oR5.249286@pd7tw3no... Questions to Ponder. . . . . we've seen 'em before... but bet you still don't know the answers....LOL Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's ass." Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing and read on. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut,why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your OB -GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? Stop singing and read on. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the ! window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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#5
May 30th, 2004, 03:48 AM
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Have a read...interesting!!
JC Der Koenig" wrote
There you go. there you go meaning what? did you actually find it interesting? I did? can add you to my joke list if you like? p.s. don't post something stupid either yes or no....thanks deeder "JC Der Koenig" wrote in message . .. There you go. -- Eat less, exercise more. -- MFW -- "guitarprincess" wrote in message .. . jokes are not low carb. -- Sheli "deeder" wrote in message news:9xbuc.619044$oR5.249286@pd7tw3no... Questions to Ponder. . . . . we've seen 'em before... but bet you still don't know the answers....LOL Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's ass." Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing and read on. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut,why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your OB -GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? Stop singing and read on. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the ! window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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#6
May 30th, 2004, 04:00 AM
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Have a read...interesting!!
in 9xbuc.619044$oR5.249286@pd7tw3no deeder posted:
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? Gerber Foods had to do some fast re-marketing in South African nations when they found out why their baby foods were not selling well at all down there. Seems that to help the illiterate masses, the food companies in that part of the world put a picture of what was in the can or jar on the label. So here's all these jars with the smiling chubby little babies on the shelves. G -- Stephen S. 331 / 278 / 220 - as of 16 Apr. 04 LC since 28 Sept. 03 5' 11" http://dragonfen.com/diet --------------------------------
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#7
May 30th, 2004, 04:10 AM
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Have a read...interesting!!
Crunch" wrote in message
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? that is kind of morbid eh? (sorry I am from canada!) i thought it was kind of interesting!! deeder "Crunch" wrote in message news:i7cuc.887$1L4.420@okepread02... in 9xbuc.619044$oR5.249286@pd7tw3no deeder posted: If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? Gerber Foods had to do some fast re-marketing in South African nations when they found out why their baby foods were not selling well at all down there. Seems that to help the illiterate masses, the food companies in that part of the world put a picture of what was in the can or jar on the label. So here's all these jars with the smiling chubby little babies on the shelves. G -- Stephen S. 331 / 278 / 220 - as of 16 Apr. 04 LC since 28 Sept. 03 5' 11" http://dragonfen.com/diet --------------------------------
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#8
May 30th, 2004, 04:11 AM
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Have a read...interesting!!
The post was for guitarprincess.
I don't expect you to understand. -- Did it ever occur to you that you are a hemorrhoid on the anus of society? -- MFW "deeder" wrote in message news:XXbuc.619092$oR5.472794@pd7tw3no... JC Der Koenig" wrote There you go. there you go meaning what? did you actually find it interesting? I did? can add you to my joke list if you like? p.s. don't post something stupid either yes or no....thanks deeder "JC Der Koenig" wrote in message . .. There you go. -- Eat less, exercise more. -- MFW -- "guitarprincess" wrote in message .. . jokes are not low carb. -- Sheli "deeder" wrote in message news:9xbuc.619044$oR5.249286@pd7tw3no... Questions to Ponder. . . . . we've seen 'em before... but bet you still don't know the answers....LOL Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's ass." Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing and read on. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song abo ut him? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut,why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your OB -GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? Stop singing and read on. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the ! window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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#9
May 30th, 2004, 04:16 AM
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Have a read...interesting!!
"JC Der Koenig" wrote
The post was for guitarprincess. Sorry!!!! deeder "JC Der Koenig" wrote in message ... The post was for guitarprincess. I don't expect you to understand. -- Did it ever occur to you that you are a hemorrhoid on the anus of society? -- MFW "deeder" wrote in message news:XXbuc.619092$oR5.472794@pd7tw3no... JC Der Koenig" wrote There you go. there you go meaning what? did you actually find it interesting? I did? can add you to my joke list if you like? p.s. don't post something stupid either yes or no....thanks deeder "JC Der Koenig" wrote in message . .. There you go. -- Eat less, exercise more. -- MFW -- "guitarprincess" wrote in message .. . jokes are not low carb. -- Sheli "deeder" wrote in message news:9xbuc.619044$oR5.249286@pd7tw3no... Questions to Ponder. . . . . we've seen 'em before... but bet you still don't know the answers....LOL Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's ass." Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Stop singing and read on. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song abo ut him? If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut,why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is? Why does your OB -GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? Stop singing and read on. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the ! window? Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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#10
May 30th, 2004, 04:51 AM
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Have a read...interesting!!
Okay, I can't resist...and I'm bored.
I missed the original posting of these questions so I will respond to a reply. I can answer most of these, to my satisfaction anyway. However I can't answer one question I have always asked in moments of jest...who the heck was the first person who decided to lick a frog? The rest of my answers are below; some might actually be funny... JJ. guitarprincess wrote: jokes are not low carb. "deeder" wrote in message news:9xbuc.619044$oR5.249286@pd7tw3no... Questions to Ponder. . . . . we've seen 'em before... but bet you still don't know the answers....LOL Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" I don't understand the question. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's ass." If that's how you've been doing it I hate to tell you but those ain't eggs. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? I don't care. I don't eat toast or anything that would suitably be heated in a toaster anyway. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? Cheap appliances. Both of mine have lights. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/malphabetsong.html Stop singing and read on. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? The joke misses the point, the song is in the first person, the singer says "I" and a reason is given for not caring. The song isn't about Jimmie, it is about a person who dies after being thrown from a horse. Read the lyrics, this is actually an abolitionist song. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut,why can't he fix a hole in a boat? And this is the biggest piece of cognitive dissonance extracted from this show? Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is? Have you ever seen an American in Switzerland trying to find a public restroom? Why does your OB -GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Because whatever they intend to do next they don't get paid enough to watch people undress. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! What do you call male ballerinas? Drag queens. Stop singing and read on. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream? Define see. Define dream. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? Have you checked out the price of Roadrunner lately? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Why, tests can be quizzical too, of course. Unless you study really well then they are not so quizzical. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? Okay, I'd rather answer this question than the ones where my kids ask where babies come from. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Sometimes. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse? NO! Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Low-carbers do...Pasta is not low-carb. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass? This question is just a plain convolution of words to try to make a joke. It makes no sense. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the ! window? No. I tend not to try to do things that make animals mad. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? Why yes, doesn't it work for you?
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