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#1
January 25th, 2005, 02:13 PM
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On Gaining Some Pounds Again
Old Show, New Lyrics (Worst Side Story)
I feel ****ty, Oh, so ****ty, I feel heavy and bloated not light! And I pity Any guy who is with me tonight. I feel saggy, Oh, so baggy It's alarming how rotten I feel! And so heavy That I hardly can believe I'm real. See the blob in that mirror the Who can that monstrous girl be? Such a pretty face, Such a plus sized dress, Such a sour puss, Such an overweight me! I feel sappy And crappy, Feel like vegging in front of TV, For I'm hopeless An oversized version of me! GIRLS Have you met my good friend Diva, The craziest girl on the block? You'll know her the minute you see her, She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock. She's had a gain. Appetite not on the wane. She isn't in denial, She's merely insane. Is it the the heat Or some rare disease, Or too much to eat Or maybe it's fleas. Keep away from her, Send for Jenny Craig! This is not the Diva we know! Modest and pure, Polite and refined, Well-bred and mature And out of her mind! DIVA I feel ****ty, Oh, so ****ty Since reading the dial on the scale. ASD Should compare me to an oversized whale. GIRLS La la la la . . . DIVA I feel lazy, I feel crazy, I feel gassy and funny and fat, And so ****ty, Something has to be done about that! -- Diva ***** "Fang Shoe" is the art of putting your foot in your mouth. 
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#2
January 25th, 2005, 03:58 PM
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Carol Frilegh wrote: Old Show, New Lyrics (Worst Side Story) I feel ****ty, Oh, so ****ty, I feel heavy and bloated not light! And I pity Any guy who is with me tonight. I feel saggy, Oh, so baggy It's alarming how rotten I feel! And so heavy That I hardly can believe I'm real. See the blob in that mirror the Who can that monstrous girl be? Such a pretty face, Such a plus sized dress, Such a sour puss, Such an overweight me! I feel sappy And crappy, Feel like vegging in front of TV, For I'm hopeless An oversized version of me! GIRLS Have you met my good friend Diva, The craziest girl on the block? You'll know her the minute you see her, She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock. She's had a gain. Appetite not on the wane. She isn't in denial, She's merely insane. Is it the the heat Or some rare disease, Or too much to eat Or maybe it's fleas. Keep away from her, Send for Jenny Craig! This is not the Diva we know! Modest and pure, Polite and refined, Well-bred and mature And out of her mind! DIVA I feel ****ty, Oh, so ****ty Since reading the dial on the scale. ASD Should compare me to an oversized whale. GIRLS La la la la . . . DIVA I feel lazy, I feel crazy, I feel gassy and funny and fat, And so ****ty, Something has to be done about that! Oh, man....that is really good! I think this is your best work yet! And realize that right now I'm suffering from either a pulled or bruised muscle just above my rib cage, so it really hurts to laugh! I'm savings this! Martha
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#3
January 25th, 2005, 05:00 PM
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In article .com,
Black Metal Martha wrote: Carol Frilegh wrote: Old Show, New Lyrics (Worst Side Story) I feel ****ty, Oh, so ****ty, I feel heavy and bloated not light! And I pity Any guy who is with me tonight. I feel saggy, Oh, so baggy It's alarming how rotten I feel! And so heavy That I hardly can believe I'm real. See the blob in that mirror the Who can that monstrous girl be? Such a pretty face, Such a plus sized dress, Such a sour puss, Such an overweight me! I feel sappy And crappy, Feel like vegging in front of TV, For I'm hopeless An oversized version of me! GIRLS Have you met my good friend Diva, The craziest girl on the block? You'll know her the minute you see her, She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock. She's had a gain. Appetite not on the wane. She isn't in denial, She's merely insane. Is it the the heat Or some rare disease, Or too much to eat Or maybe it's fleas. Keep away from her, Send for Jenny Craig! This is not the Diva we know! Modest and pure, Polite and refined, Well-bred and mature And out of her mind! DIVA I feel ****ty, Oh, so ****ty Since reading the dial on the scale. ASD Should compare me to an oversized whale. GIRLS La la la la . . . DIVA I feel lazy, I feel crazy, I feel gassy and funny and fat, And so ****ty, Something has to be done about that! Oh, man....that is really good! I think this is your best work yet! And realize that right now I'm suffering from either a pulled or bruised muscle just above my rib cage, so it really hurts to laugh! I'm savings this! Martha Credit has to go to the late, great Leonard Bernstein ( not a diet doctor:-) who wrote the original lyrics, "I Feel Pretty" for "West Side Story." Glad you liked it. I figured I'd take some heat from the more virtuous here for using the "s" word. Even usenet has its limitations I was in an auto accident last week, same pain, same problem, same side just BELOW my rib cage! But I can still exercise. What irony! -- Diva ***** "Fang Shoe" is the art of putting your foot in your mouth.
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#4
January 25th, 2005, 05:17 PM
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Agreed -- this is excellent! (I'm sorry you're feeling ****ty, though
:-).) Chris
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#5
January 25th, 2005, 05:22 PM
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Carol Frilegh wrote: In article .com, Black Metal Martha wrote: Oh, man....that is really good! I think this is your best work yet! And realize that right now I'm suffering from either a pulled or bruised muscle just above my rib cage, so it really hurts to laugh! I'm savings this! Martha Credit has to go to the late, great Leonard Bernstein ( not a diet doctor:-) who wrote the original lyrics, "I Feel Pretty" for "West Side Story." Well, I know that.  Glad you liked it. I figured I'd take some heat from the more virtuous here for using the "s" word. Even usenet has its limitations I was in an auto accident last week, same pain, same problem, same side just BELOW my rib cage! But I can still exercise. What irony! I can hardly breathe, so working out is out of the question now. Even when I walk, if I go too fast and have to catch my breath it hurts. It should be better in a few days. Martha -- Diva ***** "Fang Shoe" is the art of putting your foot in your mouth.
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#6
January 25th, 2005, 05:56 PM
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ROFL!!!
Wendy
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#7
January 25th, 2005, 06:21 PM
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In article , Wendy
wrote: ROFL!!! Wendy Whenever I see ROFL (and Rosie used to use it a lot) it transposes in my head to "Rolph" and reminds me of the young blonde guy who becomes a Nazi in "The Sound of Music." Relax, I have no intention of polluting any of those original lyrics to diet-tunes! -- Diva ***** The Best Man For The Job Is A Woman
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#8
January 25th, 2005, 07:41 PM
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Carol Frilegh wrote:
Old Show, New Lyrics (Worst Side Story) I feel ****ty, Oh, so ****ty, I feel heavy and bloated not light! And I pity Any guy who is with me tonight. I feel saggy, Oh, so baggy It's alarming how rotten I feel! And so heavy That I hardly can believe I'm real. See the blob in that mirror the Who can that monstrous girl be? Such a pretty face, Such a plus sized dress, Such a sour puss, Such an overweight me! I feel sappy And crappy, Feel like vegging in front of TV, For I'm hopeless An oversized version of me! GIRLS Have you met my good friend Diva, The craziest girl on the block? You'll know her the minute you see her, She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock. She's had a gain. Appetite not on the wane. She isn't in denial, She's merely insane. Is it the the heat Or some rare disease, Or too much to eat Or maybe it's fleas. Keep away from her, Send for Jenny Craig! This is not the Diva we know! Modest and pure, Polite and refined, Well-bred and mature And out of her mind! DIVA I feel ****ty, Oh, so ****ty Since reading the dial on the scale. ASD Should compare me to an oversized whale. GIRLS La la la la . . . DIVA I feel lazy, I feel crazy, I feel gassy and funny and fat, And so ****ty, Something has to be done about that! Just great. Do you have any idea how long it's going to take me to get that tune out of my head? The best I can do is "Maria... I just met a girl named Maria..." BTW, that was very good filking. :-) Delenn
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#9
January 25th, 2005, 08:25 PM
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In article , Delenn
wrote: filking filking?
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#10
January 25th, 2005, 10:35 PM
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Carol Frilegh wrote:
In article , Delenn wrote: filking filking? http://home.earthlink.net/~kayshapero/filkdef.htm It's not a perjorative term. Well, most filking is really bad and perjoratives might be appropriate, but I didn't mean it that way. :-) Delenn
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