"You must feel GREAT!"

"Ignoramus28710" wrote in message
...
Oh, I see. Just a word of caution. If you have any kind of inlaw
problems of any serious degree, DO NOT GET MARRIED.





any kind?
i sure would have missed marrying the most wonderful guy in the world,
with that advise!

On Wed, 01 Oct 2003 18:49:53 GMT, (Jayjay) wrote:

On the other hand, I know how frustrating it is to deal with those
questions. MIL sat down next to me as we are sitting infront of this
huge spread of junk food (cakes, cookies, chips, chocolates, fudge,
you name it - Maple suryp pie and fudge and this and that). When I
turned down somethign sweet she offered (mind you, I'd been snacking
all day and was full) she inquires "are you still dieting?" and I tell
her no. She's insulted I wont take more food. She goes on to tell
SIL's that I'm always dieting when she comes to visit. (I'm sorry, my
way of eating is different, and so I'm happy with dinner being a salad
and a piece of grilled meat... that doesn't mean I'm dieting - that
is my choosen way to eat and so it doesn't include desserts and breads
and etc...)

ANother time she looks at me and tells me I've lost weight since her
last visit. (I haven't, and if anything, I've gained on the scale).
I graciously thank her for the compliment, but admit that I haven't
lost. She begins to debate me.

You're getting your chain yanked and it is your fault for letting her
do so. You have given your power over to her and she is psyopsing you
big time.

On Wed, 01 Oct 2003 19:32:57 GMT, (Jayjay) wrote:

my french - especially quebecois SUCKS... 2 yrs in highschool and 2
yrs in collage and that language has never stuck.

Apparently, neither did English.

On 1 Oct 2003 19:38:18 GMT, Ignoramus28710
wrote:

you sound pretty sad Wendy...Hoping that your life is okay. but
being slim does make me personally feel much better. Plus you will
probably live longer etc.

If her life sucks as bad as she puts on, why would she want to?

And I see nothing wrong with being ogled by
men either, in fact.

I didn't know you were a homosexual.

Wendy wrote:

I just ran into a friend at the gym and she exclaimed, "don't you just
feel great now that you've lost all this weight?"

When I was over 250 pounds, I got similar prophesies of losing
all kinds of weight and suddenly my life will be handed to me on a
silver platter, where at that point I *must* have been miserable,
I mean *how* can anyone be happy weighing that much? VBG

I *was* unhealthy when I was heavier, but it wasn't really the weight.
It was *what* I was eating. When I changed my way of eating it
took less than a *week* to feel really good (which was my *only*
motivation to change my WOE in the first place). And the weight fell
off all by itself. It didn't want to hang around a body that was
getting progressively healthier.

Losing weight in this society has been a real eye opener. Lose 70
odd pounds (I still have about 30-40 to go, but no time frame set), and
people look at it with the same respect as someone who won the nobel
peace prize. "oh *I* could never do that, I love my [insert favorite
food here] too much!"

While I do enjoy losing the weight, I do not enjoy the unnecessary
worship I've been getting... really, it's not that big of a deal. It's not
like I am on this earth for the purpose of being eye candy for
anyone, anyway.

Crafting Mom
http://ca.photos.yahoo.com/craftingmom2001
Modified WOL since spring '02 || Weight at start: over 250 lb
Today's weight: 180.5 lb || Goal/Maintenance: 140 lb

Ignoramus28710 wrote:

My experience is exactly opposite. After losing weight, I feel like a
stud physically, I enjoy all that attention, I love my exercise
etc. Doing stuff that I never have been able to do (like climbing
rope) is great fun.

i

I feel good physically, I just think all the gushing is way overblown.
I've lost weight, and still, I am about 30ish pounds overweight. Are
people going to build freakin' statues in my honor when I reach
goal? LOL

Crafting Mom in NS (back from a dance with Hurricane Juan)

http://ca.photos.yahoo.com/craftingmom2001
Modified WOL since spring '02 || Weight at start: over 250 lb
Today's weight: 180.5 lb || Goal/Maintenance: 140 lb

in article , Wendy at wrote
on 10/1/03 2:18 PM:

The only benefits I can really come up with a
1.) Better athletic endurance/wind for functional activities like playing
with the kids or gardening.

That's great !

2.) Annoying (but not seriously painful) knee pain and plantar fasciatis
pain is gone.

That's terrific !

3.) A bit better confidence in social situations: I don't feel like
they're discounting me because I must be stupid (the fat/stupid connection
is terribly ingrained in people.)

People do make judgements about people who are a LOT overweight. In the
"normal" range you have a fighting chance at being appreciated for who you
are and not by what you look like.

Not fair, not kind.. but what you say is true. Many people percieve heavy
people just as you suggested...AND added to the fat/stupid
connection....undiciplined, sloppy and poor.

A friend commented not long ago about a woman we saw at the mall..."she must
be dead broke and living on pasta to get that big". First time I heard that.

4.) Esoteric non-tangible future probable benefits to my health.

Not so esoteric...but how about blood sugar under control...no courting
diabetes 2 ? How about blood pressure in the normal range ?

Can anyone bring up some benefits that make losing weight worth the work
and the aggravation?

For me the greatest part was.....my husband, children and grandchildren are
so proud of me and pleased I will probably be with them longer than if I had
stayed where I was headed.

Better service in stores....Hard to believe ? It's true. People who are in
the normal range and have taken the time to dress well.....get better
service.

A chance to maybe "look your real age". An old friend born on the same day
as I was, chronically overweight was always thought to be some years older
than I...she looked middle aged when she was in her 20's.

Or failing that, can you come up with the things for me to say when I see
my family this next week-end (I've lost 25 pounds since they last saw
me) and THEY exclaim how happy I must be?

"Thank you....I feel great."

"How kind of you to notice...I feel great."

As for the stretch marks.....buy a tube of Mederma and start rubbing. (G) It
works well on scars and stretch marks, etc. That and a little time for your
skin to recover....who knows ? I have a rather large scar about 4" long on
my face from surgery four months ago. I started the Mederma as soon as it
healed over and it's faded to nearly the color of the skin around it and is
smooth as a baby's behind. A few more months and it may be hardly noticable
at all...at least I'm hoping so.

In the meantime....try to be happy for what you have accomplished. The shape
of the container doesn't mean squat if misery is inside. Family situations
can be stressful under ideal circumstances and with the changes in
you...come changes in how they react to you. I send you my best wishes for a
happy visit.

Best,
Patricia







Wendy, who kindly did NOT cross-post this to ASF-A. :-)

On 1 Oct 2003 20:24:03 GMT, Ignoramus28710
wrote:

I didn't know you were a homosexual.

I meant wendy... but if men like to look at me, why can it be bad for
me even though I a proud, unbowed heterosexual?

Seriously? If you want men to ogle you, go for it.

When I lay down at night and can't sleep I often think about my life.
Mostly I'm thankful for all that I have. I also think about those things
that I would change about my current life and goals I would like to reach.
In the last few years my weight has been right up there on my list of things
I would like to change about my life. For me, losing weight and maintaining
a normal weight is a major goal. Once I achieve it I'll have one less issue
in my life to worry about. Weight loss to me isn't about *looking* a
certain way, it's about losing the uncomfortable feelings (physical and
emotional) I have about myself physically.

Candy

"Wendy" wrote in message
...
I just ran into a friend at the gym and she exclaimed, "don't you just
feel great now that you've lost all this weight?"

Umm, no.

First of all, I didn't feel bad when I was fat. I was strong and active
and not suffering from any illnesses. Second of all, I still feel exactly
like me. I look better, but don't really care that much about my looks
(aside from my cuticles.) :-)

Thirdly, I'm actually a bit tired from all this exercise and trying to
shoe-horn it into my life whether it fits or not (and even after a solid
year of it I sometimes just can't fit it in easily) and I'm also a bit
resentful of never being able to eat unrestrainedly for entertainment.

Being non-fat costs me something. It's a trade-off. Am I happier
now? Not really. Am I healthier now? Not noticeably (though most
likely in the long run.)

I'm trying to figure out what losing all this weight has gotten
me. Because right now it's a pain in the ass: I have a vanishingly small
wardrobe of things that fit, for example, and my skin is literally striped
from the stretch marks compacting.

The only benefits I can really come up with a

1.) Better athletic endurance/wind for functional activities like playing
with the kids or gardening.

2.) Annoying (but not seriously painful) knee pain and plantar fasciatis
pain is gone.

3.) A bit better confidence in social situations: I don't feel like
they're discounting me because I must be stupid (the fat/stupid connection
is terribly ingrained in people.)

4.) Esoteric non-tangible future probable benefits to my health.

Can anyone bring up some benefits that make losing weight worth the work
and the aggravation?

Or failing that, can you come up with the things for me to say when I see
my family this next week-end (I've lost 25 pounds since they last saw
me) and THEY exclaim how happy I must be?

Wendy, who kindly did NOT cross-post this to ASF-A. :-)

Wendy, thanks for such an honest post. There's a lot of nonsense
talked about how much your life will change with weight loss.
First of all, people need to know that losing weight won't magically
get rid of all the other issues in their life. If anything, the
anticlimax when they discover this can lead to bitter disappointment.
Like you, I never felt too incapacitated when I was at my top weight.
I could still walk 15 miles in a day simply because I've always loved
walking and never questioned my ability to do this whatever I weighed.
I went swimming too - in fact there weren't many things the weight
prevented me doing because I didn't let it.
I think for me the main benefits even this far into the journey are to
do with knowing how I'm "buying" myself extra years of active life at
some time in the future when I get older. My flexibility and balance
have already improved no end, and I can do things like get up from the
floor, get out of the bath, and so on much more easily. But on the
negative side, my skin is wrinkled, I still sometimes wonder if the
sacrifice of not being able to eat what I like is worth it, and I hate
people telling me I ought to be so happy about it all when they know
nothing about me.
You caused me to rant a bit here

janice
233/161/133


On 1 Oct 2003 14:18:15 -0400, Wendy wrote:

I just ran into a friend at the gym and she exclaimed, "don't you just
feel great now that you've lost all this weight?"

Umm, no.

First of all, I didn't feel bad when I was fat. I was strong and active
and not suffering from any illnesses. Second of all, I still feel exactly
like me. I look better, but don't really care that much about my looks
(aside from my cuticles.) :-)

Thirdly, I'm actually a bit tired from all this exercise and trying to
shoe-horn it into my life whether it fits or not (and even after a solid
year of it I sometimes just can't fit it in easily) and I'm also a bit
resentful of never being able to eat unrestrainedly for entertainment.

Being non-fat costs me something. It's a trade-off. Am I happier
now? Not really. Am I healthier now? Not noticeably (though most
likely in the long run.)

I'm trying to figure out what losing all this weight has gotten
me. Because right now it's a pain in the ass: I have a vanishingly small
wardrobe of things that fit, for example, and my skin is literally striped
from the stretch marks compacting.

The only benefits I can really come up with a

1.) Better athletic endurance/wind for functional activities like playing
with the kids or gardening.

2.) Annoying (but not seriously painful) knee pain and plantar fasciatis
pain is gone.

3.) A bit better confidence in social situations: I don't feel like
they're discounting me because I must be stupid (the fat/stupid connection
is terribly ingrained in people.)

4.) Esoteric non-tangible future probable benefits to my health.

Can anyone bring up some benefits that make losing weight worth the work
and the aggravation?

Or failing that, can you come up with the things for me to say when I see
my family this next week-end (I've lost 25 pounds since they last saw
me) and THEY exclaim how happy I must be?

Wendy, who kindly did NOT cross-post this to ASF-A. :-)