RafL & THTP - post your results here!

that is only human, for her and you, Lee
Connie wrote in message
...
I think my MIL is extra nice to us. She is a bit controlling tho and I
just handle it, no muss no fuss. Sometimes I forget to do what it takes
and I lose control.

Connie

Joyce wrote:
I could be wrong, but I think some of that is *only child mother
syndrome* ...
unnofficially named and diagnosed by me. grin My hub is also an only
child, mil
goes out of her way to be nice to everyone, 'cept for me. She isn't
really nasty
(well, sometimes) but is cold and calculating. I'm the second wife -
she chased
off the first but couldn't get me to run. She is very controlling and
manipulative, I see through it and call it as it is. I do think in a
nutshell ...
she was afraid of losing her son, even through the normal progression of
marriage.
I do have to laugh at some things though. I have to take care of all
finances ...
bills to be paid ontime, banking, taxes, etc. Yet I can't sign her
checks, have
to lay them all out for hub to do, which he hates - mumbles and groans.
Granddaughter is on the account though. grin BUT ... I have total
access to her
accounts via the online banking ... need no permission to transfer stuff
around
this way. ROFL!!! Oh, and I've been told I am not in her will either
(I
couldn't care less, but I have no idea why the need was felt to tell me
this). I
think it's all hilarious.

Somewhere inside her though, is a heart of gold. I know I've seen it a
few times.
I also know that if I pushed and asked to be put on her accounts, there
would not
be a problem ... but I don't ask as I feel there is something in her
brain saying
she is more comfortable with things the way they are now. On the flip
side, if I
ever desperately wanted something, I honestly think she would not ever
refuse. Us
mothers of sons are very complicated individuals. grin

Joyce

On Thu, 5 Feb 2004 08:11:24 -0600, "Miss Violette"

wrote:


even when they mean well they can be stressful, mine is one of the most
wonderful people on earth... to everyone... except me... and she doesn't
even know that she treats me bad so I just ignore it... DH is the
youngest/an only son/ and adopted... I accept he is sent from heaven and
perfect so I just ignore when she doesn't treat me as I would like
because
she really is a good person, and she is right about one thing, my DH
truly
was sent from heaven, Lee
Connie wrote in message
...

She really is a sweetie to us...I shouldn't complain!!

Connie

Miss Violette wrote:

great loss considering, aren't MIL'S wonderful, Lee
Connie wrote in message
...


Well this week I was just hoping to maintain after my run in with my
birthday cake. I told my MIL specifically that I only wanted one
piece
because I was on WW ... so she gave me a third of the cake. Well I
showed her I didn't eat it ... all! ;-). Oh boy!!! 15 pts right
there!!
YIKES!! The rest of the week had a few more challenges including
chips
and going to restaurants!!

But I lost a .5 lb.

I exercised 6 times.

Connie


Amberle3 wrote:


Might as well start the thread off for this week!

RafL wk 5 - down 2 pounds to 216! Yay! Gee, and I note that I'm
just

1

pound away from my next mini-goal.
THTP - 4 times, not at my goal of 5 but I had a migraine for half
the
week so I figure it was good that I did 4.

In 2 weeks I'll be doing the big drive down to Vegas and LA with DF,
staying with his parents while in LA. This should be interesting.

I've

lost 33 pounds since I was there last. We'll have to see if this

alters

his mother's opinion of me!

Amberle3
--
Amberle3
249/216/215-minigoal/150?
Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03

- Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge:
http://www.angelfire.com/me4/travelgirl/thtp.htm
- Resolutions are for Losers Weight Loss Challenge:
http://www.angelfire.com/me4/travelgirl/rafl.htm



--

Cheers,

Connie Walsh

241.5/205/155
RAFL 210.5/205/198.5






--

Cheers,

Connie Walsh

241.5/205/155
RAFL 210.5/205/198.5






--

Cheers,

Connie Walsh

241.5/205/155
RAFL 210.5/205/198.5

Kristin wrote:
Nice loss despite the cake.


Thanks Kristin!!

--

Cheers,

Connie Walsh

241.5/205/155
RAFL 210.5/205/198.5

Same situation here - nice as could be in front of others, but watch out if no one
was around. I went through a rough period with it, finally decided that she
needed me much more than I needed her - so refused to let her get to me any more.
Funny, when I did that she seemed to turn around a bit - like she finally figured
out she wasn't going to win so it wasn't much fun to play. There are still some
games on occassion, but we all see through them now and just laugh them off.
You've got me beat dear, I've only got 22 years logged in with hub. G And mil
will be 83 or 84 this year.

Joyce

On Thu, 5 Feb 2004 10:00:04 -0600, "Miss Violette"
wrote:

The worst part for me was she was as sweet as could be to me in front of
him. It took a bit for him to realize what she was doing. And even worse I
am not even sure to this day if she did on purpose or didn't realize or
couldn't help herself. I have decided it doesn't matter, we have been
together for 23 years and are still going strong. She will be celebrating
her 80 birthday this month and so I just don't worry, she still his her son
and I still have the best partner ever so all worked out... as far as
similarities, maybe it is us being alike, maybe it is a "Chicago" MIL
similarity thing, Lee
Joyce wrote in message
.. .
Wow Lee, you sound like me (not sure if that is a good thing or not). We
also
went through some difficult stages with mil - nothing said directly to me,
but
when my kids would go visit she would tell them all kinds of nasty stuff
about me,
that she made up. Of course, they would come home and ask me. I totally
flipped
out one time, told hub that I would not withhold the kids from seeing
their
grandmother but they would no longer be allowed to visit unless he
accompanied
them, and no way in hell would I be joining. Obviously the games
immediately
stopped when she figured out she couldn't control them, nor could she win.
I
think she figured I meant business when I hadn't seen her for close to 18
months
... and she lives directly across the street from us! That was many, many
years
ago ....

Joyce

On Thu, 5 Feb 2004 09:04:46 -0600, "Miss Violette"

wrote:

he is the only son but has two older sisters, but you are describing her,
once during a "discussion" of monumental proportion, DH said Look, she
never
liked any of the women I have been in relationships with, You are the
only
one who noticed, and she noticed you noticed, and I am still here, Then I
told him, "just barely loud enough for her to hear" that I would never
make
him choose but I would not subject myself to being abused and would not
take
it, next morning I was polite as ever and if she started I excused myself
and went outside for a smoke, another of my "sins" then we left the next
day, the nest year I did not go to her house except for family functions
and
I insisted to stay elsewhere, after that she invited us and me in
particular
to stay the night, it has really been fine ever since, like I said she is
really a good person, Lee
Joyce wrote in message
.. .
I could be wrong, but I think some of that is *only child mother
syndrome*
...
unnofficially named and diagnosed by me. grin My hub is also an only
child, mil
goes out of her way to be nice to everyone, 'cept for me. She isn't
really nasty
(well, sometimes) but is cold and calculating. I'm the second wife -
she
chased
off the first but couldn't get me to run. She is very controlling and
manipulative, I see through it and call it as it is. I do think in a
nutshell ...
she was afraid of losing her son, even through the normal progression
of
marriage.
I do have to laugh at some things though. I have to take care of all
finances ...
bills to be paid ontime, banking, taxes, etc. Yet I can't sign her
checks, have
to lay them all out for hub to do, which he hates - mumbles and groans.
Granddaughter is on the account though. grin BUT ... I have total
access to her
accounts via the online banking ... need no permission to transfer
stuff
around
this way. ROFL!!! Oh, and I've been told I am not in her will either
(I
couldn't care less, but I have no idea why the need was felt to tell me
this). I
think it's all hilarious.

Somewhere inside her though, is a heart of gold. I know I've seen it a
few times.
I also know that if I pushed and asked to be put on her accounts, there
would not
be a problem ... but I don't ask as I feel there is something in her
brain
saying
she is more comfortable with things the way they are now. On the flip
side, if I
ever desperately wanted something, I honestly think she would not ever
refuse. Us
mothers of sons are very complicated individuals. grin

Joyce

On Thu, 5 Feb 2004 08:11:24 -0600, "Miss Violette"

wrote:

even when they mean well they can be stressful, mine is one of the
most
wonderful people on earth... to everyone... except me... and she
doesn't
even know that she treats me bad so I just ignore it... DH is the
youngest/an only son/ and adopted... I accept he is sent from heaven
and
perfect so I just ignore when she doesn't treat me as I would like
because
she really is a good person, and she is right about one thing, my DH
truly
was sent from heaven, Lee
Connie wrote in message
...
She really is a sweetie to us...I shouldn't complain!!

Connie

Miss Violette wrote:
great loss considering, aren't MIL'S wonderful, Lee
Connie wrote in message
...

Well this week I was just hoping to maintain after my run in with
my
birthday cake. I told my MIL specifically that I only wanted one
piece
because I was on WW ... so she gave me a third of the cake. Well I
showed her I didn't eat it ... all! ;-). Oh boy!!! 15 pts right
there!!
YIKES!! The rest of the week had a few more challenges including
chips
and going to restaurants!!

But I lost a .5 lb.

I exercised 6 times.

Connie


Amberle3 wrote:

Might as well start the thread off for this week!

RafL wk 5 - down 2 pounds to 216! Yay! Gee, and I note that I'm
just
1
pound away from my next mini-goal.
THTP - 4 times, not at my goal of 5 but I had a migraine for half
the
week so I figure it was good that I did 4.

In 2 weeks I'll be doing the big drive down to Vegas and LA with
DF,
staying with his parents while in LA. This should be
interesting.
I've
lost 33 pounds since I was there last. We'll have to see if this
alters
his mother's opinion of me!

Amberle3
--
Amberle3
249/216/215-minigoal/150?
Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03

- Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge:
http://www.angelfire.com/me4/travelgirl/thtp.htm
- Resolutions are for Losers Weight Loss Challenge:
http://www.angelfire.com/me4/travelgirl/rafl.htm



--

Cheers,

Connie Walsh

241.5/205/155
RAFL 210.5/205/198.5







--

Cheers,

Connie Walsh

241.5/205/155
RAFL 210.5/205/198.5

My son is the one who handles his grandmother the best, which really plays havoc
with her. I remember one time she had asked him to take her shopping (she has
never driven), then constantly complained that he was going to fast. He told her
something to the effect that she was not qualified to know what was too fast since
she has never once been behind the wheel of a car. Her reply was to tell him that
then he would not be allowed to take her shopping anymore. LOL! Didn't take long
for her to figure out that SHE was the only one who suffered from her actions ...
she ended up staying home for a few weeks, or walking to the nearby stores only.
I've found when I get aggrivated, I just walk away for a bit. Over the years I've
learned that it just doesn't pay to get upset over things you have no control over
and will never be able to change.

Joyce

On Thu, 05 Feb 2004 16:06:48 -0500, Connie wrote:

I think my MIL is extra nice to us. She is a bit controlling tho and I
just handle it, no muss no fuss. Sometimes I forget to do what it takes
and I lose control.

Connie

Joyce wrote:
I could be wrong, but I think some of that is *only child mother syndrome* ...
unnofficially named and diagnosed by me. grin My hub is also an only child, mil
goes out of her way to be nice to everyone, 'cept for me. She isn't really nasty
(well, sometimes) but is cold and calculating. I'm the second wife - she chased
off the first but couldn't get me to run. She is very controlling and
manipulative, I see through it and call it as it is. I do think in a nutshell ...
she was afraid of losing her son, even through the normal progression of marriage.
I do have to laugh at some things though. I have to take care of all finances ...
bills to be paid ontime, banking, taxes, etc. Yet I can't sign her checks, have
to lay them all out for hub to do, which he hates - mumbles and groans.
Granddaughter is on the account though. grin BUT ... I have total access to her
accounts via the online banking ... need no permission to transfer stuff around
this way. ROFL!!! Oh, and I've been told I am not in her will either (I
couldn't care less, but I have no idea why the need was felt to tell me this). I
think it's all hilarious.

Somewhere inside her though, is a heart of gold. I know I've seen it a few times.
I also know that if I pushed and asked to be put on her accounts, there would not
be a problem ... but I don't ask as I feel there is something in her brain saying
she is more comfortable with things the way they are now. On the flip side, if I
ever desperately wanted something, I honestly think she would not ever refuse. Us
mothers of sons are very complicated individuals. grin

Joyce

On Thu, 5 Feb 2004 08:11:24 -0600, "Miss Violette"
wrote:


even when they mean well they can be stressful, mine is one of the most
wonderful people on earth... to everyone... except me... and she doesn't
even know that she treats me bad so I just ignore it... DH is the
youngest/an only son/ and adopted... I accept he is sent from heaven and
perfect so I just ignore when she doesn't treat me as I would like because
she really is a good person, and she is right about one thing, my DH truly
was sent from heaven, Lee
Connie wrote in message
...

She really is a sweetie to us...I shouldn't complain!!

Connie

Miss Violette wrote:

great loss considering, aren't MIL'S wonderful, Lee
Connie wrote in message
...


Well this week I was just hoping to maintain after my run in with my
birthday cake. I told my MIL specifically that I only wanted one piece
because I was on WW ... so she gave me a third of the cake. Well I
showed her I didn't eat it ... all! ;-). Oh boy!!! 15 pts right there!!
YIKES!! The rest of the week had a few more challenges including chips
and going to restaurants!!

But I lost a .5 lb.

I exercised 6 times.

Connie


Amberle3 wrote:


Might as well start the thread off for this week!

RafL wk 5 - down 2 pounds to 216! Yay! Gee, and I note that I'm just

1

pound away from my next mini-goal.
THTP - 4 times, not at my goal of 5 but I had a migraine for half the
week so I figure it was good that I did 4.

In 2 weeks I'll be doing the big drive down to Vegas and LA with DF,
staying with his parents while in LA. This should be interesting.

I've

lost 33 pounds since I was there last. We'll have to see if this

alters

his mother's opinion of me!

Amberle3
--
Amberle3
249/216/215-minigoal/150?
Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03

- Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge:
http://www.angelfire.com/me4/travelgirl/thtp.htm
- Resolutions are for Losers Weight Loss Challenge:
http://www.angelfire.com/me4/travelgirl/rafl.htm



--

Cheers,

Connie Walsh

241.5/205/155
RAFL 210.5/205/198.5






--

Cheers,

Connie Walsh

241.5/205/155
RAFL 210.5/205/198.5

I wondered about this because I refused to play, and I think that is when
things started changing. I just took the attitude that her issues with me
were hers not mine and since I couldn't control them I wouldn't worry about
it, way less stress for me, DH didn't have to be in the middle because I
wasn't stressed and I think it was no gratification as nobody got upset
anymore, Lee
Joyce wrote in message
...
Same situation here - nice as could be in front of others, but watch out
if no one
was around. I went through a rough period with it, finally decided that
she
needed me much more than I needed her - so refused to let her get to me
any more.
Funny, when I did that she seemed to turn around a bit - like she finally
figured
out she wasn't going to win so it wasn't much fun to play. There are
still some
games on occassion, but we all see through them now and just laugh them
off.
You've got me beat dear, I've only got 22 years logged in with hub. G
And mil
will be 83 or 84 this year.

Joyce

On Thu, 5 Feb 2004 10:00:04 -0600, "Miss Violette"

wrote:

The worst part for me was she was as sweet as could be to me in front of
him. It took a bit for him to realize what she was doing. And even
worse I
am not even sure to this day if she did on purpose or didn't realize or
couldn't help herself. I have decided it doesn't matter, we have been
together for 23 years and are still going strong. She will be
celebrating
her 80 birthday this month and so I just don't worry, she still his her
son
and I still have the best partner ever so all worked out... as far as
similarities, maybe it is us being alike, maybe it is a "Chicago" MIL
similarity thing, Lee
Joyce wrote in message
.. .
Wow Lee, you sound like me (not sure if that is a good thing or not).
We
also
went through some difficult stages with mil - nothing said directly to
me,
but
when my kids would go visit she would tell them all kinds of nasty
stuff
about me,
that she made up. Of course, they would come home and ask me. I
totally
flipped
out one time, told hub that I would not withhold the kids from seeing
their
grandmother but they would no longer be allowed to visit unless he
accompanied
them, and no way in hell would I be joining. Obviously the games
immediately
stopped when she figured out she couldn't control them, nor could she
win.
I
think she figured I meant business when I hadn't seen her for close to
18
months
... and she lives directly across the street from us! That was many,
many
years
ago ....

Joyce

On Thu, 5 Feb 2004 09:04:46 -0600, "Miss Violette"

wrote:

he is the only son but has two older sisters, but you are describing
her,
once during a "discussion" of monumental proportion, DH said Look, she
never
liked any of the women I have been in relationships with, You are the
only
one who noticed, and she noticed you noticed, and I am still here,
Then I
told him, "just barely loud enough for her to hear" that I would never
make
him choose but I would not subject myself to being abused and would
not
take
it, next morning I was polite as ever and if she started I excused
myself
and went outside for a smoke, another of my "sins" then we left the
next
day, the nest year I did not go to her house except for family
functions
and
I insisted to stay elsewhere, after that she invited us and me in
particular
to stay the night, it has really been fine ever since, like I said she
is
really a good person, Lee
Joyce wrote in message
.. .
I could be wrong, but I think some of that is *only child mother
syndrome*
...
unnofficially named and diagnosed by me. grin My hub is also an
only
child, mil
goes out of her way to be nice to everyone, 'cept for me. She isn't
really nasty
(well, sometimes) but is cold and calculating. I'm the second
wife -
she
chased
off the first but couldn't get me to run. She is very controlling
and
manipulative, I see through it and call it as it is. I do think in
a
nutshell ...
she was afraid of losing her son, even through the normal
progression
of
marriage.
I do have to laugh at some things though. I have to take care of
all
finances ...
bills to be paid ontime, banking, taxes, etc. Yet I can't sign her
checks, have
to lay them all out for hub to do, which he hates - mumbles and
groans.
Granddaughter is on the account though. grin BUT ... I have total
access to her
accounts via the online banking ... need no permission to transfer
stuff
around
this way. ROFL!!! Oh, and I've been told I am not in her will
either
(I
couldn't care less, but I have no idea why the need was felt to tell
me
this). I
think it's all hilarious.

Somewhere inside her though, is a heart of gold. I know I've seen
it a
few times.
I also know that if I pushed and asked to be put on her accounts,
there
would not
be a problem ... but I don't ask as I feel there is something in her
brain
saying
she is more comfortable with things the way they are now. On the
flip
side, if I
ever desperately wanted something, I honestly think she would not
ever
refuse. Us
mothers of sons are very complicated individuals. grin

Joyce

On Thu, 5 Feb 2004 08:11:24 -0600, "Miss Violette"

wrote:

even when they mean well they can be stressful, mine is one of the
most
wonderful people on earth... to everyone... except me... and she
doesn't
even know that she treats me bad so I just ignore it... DH is the
youngest/an only son/ and adopted... I accept he is sent from
heaven
and
perfect so I just ignore when she doesn't treat me as I would like
because
she really is a good person, and she is right about one thing, my
DH
truly
was sent from heaven, Lee
Connie wrote in message
...
She really is a sweetie to us...I shouldn't complain!!

Connie

Miss Violette wrote:
great loss considering, aren't MIL'S wonderful, Lee
Connie wrote in message
...

Well this week I was just hoping to maintain after my run in
with
my
birthday cake. I told my MIL specifically that I only wanted
one
piece
because I was on WW ... so she gave me a third of the cake.
Well I
showed her I didn't eat it ... all! ;-). Oh boy!!! 15 pts right
there!!
YIKES!! The rest of the week had a few more challenges
including
chips
and going to restaurants!!

But I lost a .5 lb.

I exercised 6 times.

Connie


Amberle3 wrote:

Might as well start the thread off for this week!

RafL wk 5 - down 2 pounds to 216! Yay! Gee, and I note that
I'm
just
1
pound away from my next mini-goal.
THTP - 4 times, not at my goal of 5 but I had a migraine for
half
the
week so I figure it was good that I did 4.

In 2 weeks I'll be doing the big drive down to Vegas and LA
with
DF,
staying with his parents while in LA. This should be
interesting.
I've
lost 33 pounds since I was there last. We'll have to see if
this
alters
his mother's opinion of me!

Amberle3
--
Amberle3
249/216/215-minigoal/150?
Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03

- Take Heart, Take Part Exercise Challenge:
http://www.angelfire.com/me4/travelgirl/thtp.htm
- Resolutions are for Losers Weight Loss Challenge:
http://www.angelfire.com/me4/travelgirl/rafl.htm



--

Cheers,

Connie Walsh

241.5/205/155
RAFL 210.5/205/198.5







--

Cheers,

Connie Walsh

241.5/205/155
RAFL 210.5/205/198.5