How can I force fat wife to lose weight

Dana wrote in alt.support.diet.low-carb:
To get rid of at least 180 lbs of ugly fat, kick your butt out of her
life. Instant weight loss!!

But I am not ugly nor I am fat. I love my wife and I want her to be a
better, healthier woman.

If my wife dumps me, she will be basically helpless due to her
inability to do even simple things.

"Ozgirl" write in alt.support.diet.low-carb:
You on the other hand are very "ugly" on the inside and your wife
really doesn't deserve your sort of intolerance. Your wife sounds
absolutely beautiful to me and strangely it appears that unlike you
she accepts you just as you are.

I am not sure how you know that my wife is beautiful if you never met
her. I assure that she is indeed beautiful on the inside and I love
her, but outside she is ugly, as you would expect a 280 lbs person to
be. No amount of denial and love on my part can hide the fact that a
280 lbs small framed woman is ugly. 180 lbs, sure. 210, maybe. But
280? No way!

Why are you all so upset about how disgusting person I am when I love
my wife, want to stay with her, want to get her better and am asking
advice. Now suddenly my wife, who ruined her health and looks by
overeating and laziness, (despite being a good wife otherwise) is a
beautiful person to "ozgirl" when "ozgirl" knows nothing about
her. Strange. Is there some projection going on here ozgirl?

Again. I came with a question. How do I break her wall of denial?
Someone said that a person needs to hir rock bottom before they decide
that they are not living the right kind of life. I think that she hit
the rock bottom a long time ago. How can I make her see that without
ruining our relationship and without ruining her self esteem?

Dave

"David Thompson" wrote in message
...
Dana wrote in alt.support.diet.low-carb:
To get rid of at least 180 lbs of ugly fat, kick your butt out of her
life. Instant weight loss!!

But I am not ugly nor I am fat. I love my wife and I want her to be a
better, healthier woman.

If my wife dumps me, she will be basically helpless due to her
inability to do even simple things.

Really? How can you know that for sure.

la n.

You can't "force" anyone to lose weight until they are ready. Telling
someone they're "ugly" is not going to work and will cause emotional distress
and likely an escalation of bad habits. Why not show her how much you love her
by taking over the cooking and preparing low carb meals? Also, maybe ask her
to go for a walk with you?

Andrea

I suggest you look in a suppport group such as Al-Anon and practice
the 12 steps YOURSELF. The first step is to admit you are POWERLESS
over your WIFES eating and that YOUR life has become unmanageable!!
What a concept!!

YOU are trying to control something you have NO control over and that,
IMMHO is crazy thinking!!

This does NOT mean you should stop caring about your wife and her
health but believe me, in a situation with an alcoholic no amount of
beggin , pleading, bargaining, threats or negotiation changes a thing
until THYE are ready to make a change. The solution for ME and MY
health was to let it go and that is my suggestion for you.

Walt

205/180/165

On 18 Oct 2003 12:23:47 GMT, (Andrea Bostrom) wrote:

You can't "force" anyone to lose weight until they are ready. Telling
someone they're "ugly" is not going to work and will cause emotional distress
and likely an escalation of bad habits. Why not show her how much you love her
by taking over the cooking and preparing low carb meals? Also, maybe ask her
to go for a walk with you?

Andrea

Ball-gag.

--
JC

Lyle's New Ultimate Diet

"1. eat less you fat ****
2. exercise more you fat ****"

"JC Der Koenig" wrote in message
...
Ball-gag.

--
JC

Lyle's New Ultimate Diet

"1. eat less you fat ****
2. exercise more you fat ****"

Interesting....looks as though those anger management classes and Prozak
therapy didn't work out for you.

Why does this not suprise me?

Still having trouble figuring out how to spell your name?

--
JC

Lyle's New Ultimate Diet

"1. eat less you fat ****
2. exercise more you fat ****"

" ." wrote in message
news:Ttpkb.591000$cF.259147@rwcrnsc53...

"JC Der Koenig" wrote in message
...
Ball-gag.

--
JC

Lyle's New Ultimate Diet

"1. eat less you fat ****
2. exercise more you fat ****"

Interesting....looks as though those anger management classes and Prozak
therapy didn't work out for you.

Why does this not suprise me?

(David Thompson) wrote in message ...
Dana wrote in alt.support.diet.low-carb:
To get rid of at least 180 lbs of ugly fat, kick your butt out of her
life. Instant weight loss!!

But I am not ugly nor I am fat. I love my wife and I want her to be a
better, healthier woman.

If my wife dumps me, she will be basically helpless due to her
inability to do even simple things.



One thing to consider is that the human body is not designed to be
anywhere near this over-weight and will break down rapidly under the
strain. If she does not lose a lot of weight fast and regain some
muscle tone there is every reason to think that she will develop a
combination of back and joint problems that will make normal exercise
activity forever impossible. And that is if she not incapacitated
first by a heart-attack or stroke.


"Ozgirl" write in alt.support.diet.low-carb:
You on the other hand are very "ugly" on the inside and your wife
really doesn't deserve your sort of intolerance. Your wife sounds
absolutely beautiful to me and strangely it appears that unlike you
she accepts you just as you are.

I am not sure how you know that my wife is beautiful if you never met
her. I assure that she is indeed beautiful on the inside and I love
her, but outside she is ugly, as you would expect a 280 lbs person to
be. No amount of denial and love on my part can hide the fact that a
280 lbs small framed woman is ugly. 180 lbs, sure. 210, maybe. But
280? No way!

Why are you all so upset about how disgusting person I am when I love
my wife, want to stay with her, want to get her better and am asking
advice. Now suddenly my wife, who ruined her health and looks by
overeating and laziness, (despite being a good wife otherwise) is a
beautiful person to "ozgirl" when "ozgirl" knows nothing about
her. Strange. Is there some projection going on here ozgirl?

Again. I came with a question. How do I break her wall of denial?
Someone said that a person needs to hir rock bottom before they decide
that they are not living the right kind of life. I think that she hit
the rock bottom a long time ago. How can I make her see that without
ruining our relationship and without ruining her self esteem?

Dave

In article , David Thompson
writes
Dana wrote in alt.support.diet.low-carb:
To get rid of at least 180 lbs of ugly fat, kick your butt out of her
life. Instant weight loss!!

But I am not ugly nor I am fat. I love my wife and I want her to be a
better, healthier woman.

If my wife dumps me, she will be basically helpless due to her
inability to do even simple things.


You love your wife, David.

Fine.

But which sort of love?

The love which is fully prepared for _her_ to have the
last word on all the major decisions in her life (and yours)?

Or the love which insists that _you_ have the last word on
all the major decisions in your life (and hers)?

Or the love which is prepared to go through each such
decision, such that every single one is made (sometimes with
heart-ache, sometimes with pragmatic horse-trading, always
with compromise) by _both_ of you?

'La Donn' è mobile .... è di pensier'!

But your last line was the attention-grabber -- _is_ she
in fact unable to "do even simple things", as you put it?

In that case, you owe it to her and to your peace-of-mind
to tackle this straight away -- today's not too soon.

Because, not to put too fine a point on it, how long might
YOU be around, David? The world has accidents waiting to
happen ... on every street-corner, maybe for you! ...

:|

'Freedom has a thousand charms to show,
That slaves, howe'er contented, never know.'

-- William Cowper 'Table Talk' 1782

Pete Turk ICQ# 11981084
RFA President and Moonshadow
--
May your doorstep ever be dirty.
-- Romany blessing

My name is Seth, I saw your post about your wife.

I having struggled with compulsive eating as well.... Your wife is right-
diets don't work... statistically people who go on diets, over 90% gain the
weight back, plus gain more!

If you would like info on alternatives for her- see my page:
www.outbeyondideas.com. Check the health/wellness links.

peace,

Seth


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