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Lots of compliments/Body image



 
 
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  #1  
Old August 28th, 2004, 04:12 PM
Sunshyne
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I have lost around 70 pounds now. I look in the mirror and still see a fat
person. I can relate for sure.

I am glad you are getting compliments, you so deserve it!!
  #2  
Old August 28th, 2004, 04:45 PM
Lady o' the house
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Thanks, Sunshyne. It helps to know that I'm not the only one who feels this
way. Thanks for the confidence, too!

--
Linda
296/203/160
LC since Oct. 13, 2003
http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html


"Sunshyne" wrote in message
...
I have lost around 70 pounds now. I look in the mirror and still see a fat
person. I can relate for sure.

I am glad you are getting compliments, you so deserve it!!



  #3  
Old August 28th, 2004, 04:45 PM
Lady o' the house
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Thanks, Sunshyne. It helps to know that I'm not the only one who feels this
way. Thanks for the confidence, too!

--
Linda
296/203/160
LC since Oct. 13, 2003
http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html


"Sunshyne" wrote in message
...
I have lost around 70 pounds now. I look in the mirror and still see a fat
person. I can relate for sure.

I am glad you are getting compliments, you so deserve it!!



  #5  
Old August 29th, 2004, 05:41 PM
Lictor
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Default Lots of compliments/Body image

"Lady o' the house" wrote in message
...
School started back up this week, and I saw a lot of my colleagues for the
first time after being out all summer. I was almost embarrassed by all

the
compliments they were giving me (almost, but not too much! LOL).


Nice and congrats
I did experience the opposite actually. My being fat was a taboo issue, so
people were very hesitant to congratulate me, or even acknowledge my weight
loss. To date, my father still has not even mentionned it for instance,
though I know indirectly that he is aware of it. I got my first comments
from a friend who has an history of social blunders, he was the first one to
take notice, after I had lost my first 30 pounds. That started people on
talking openly about it, though it's not like I get constant comments.

They all said that I look fantastic and my supervisor even said that I

seem to have a
'glow' about me. I figured out that I'd lost close to 25 pounds just

since
school let out at the end of May. I guess 25 pounds does make a

difference.

25 pounds do make a whole world of difference. The glowing part is also from
your feeling better.

It really lifted my spirits. I told DH that I know the scale shows a
93-pound loss, but when I look in the mirror, I still see this 'blob' of a
person. I'm beginning to see how anorexic people can look at themselves

and
fail to see how thin they really are.


Yes, that's a common problem, especially with quick weight loss (for
example, for people who get bariatric surgery). I keep oscillating between
feeling as fat as I was and feeling slim. Of course, I get surprised
whenever I look at myself closely in the mirror, because the truth is that
I'm merely in between right now, almost overweight, not slim, but no longer
morbidly obese.
The inability to adjust yourself to your new body and to have the proper
mental image for it is actually one of the cause people fall off their diet.
On the other hand, getting their mind and body together is what allow many
people to successfully keep the loss. So, it's worth working at your self
perception. If only because it will make you feel good.
Some authors suggest looking at yourself naked in the mirror daily, in a
neutral-loving fashion. Like, inspecting yourself, taking note of what has
improved and what you actually like in yourself. One other talks of a
cabinet she had built, with four-way mirrors so her patients could look at
themselves from all angles.
Other authors suggest sports that enhance self perception, such as martial
arts, tai chi or yoga.
That's maybe where you can benefit from some of the books on the non-diet
approach, because they are usually much better on this part than most diet
books which tend to neglect psychological issues. If you don't mind
feminism, Fat is a Feminist Issue by Susie Orbach has some interresting
analysis on women (though I think it applies to men with minimal
translation) relationships to their thin and fat bodies. Many of the books
that deal with overeating attempt to cover the part about accepting your
slim body and giving up your fat one.

Do I need to see a doctor about my self-image problem, or does it get

better
eventually?


It depends. It's like puberty. Some people take in their new body features
for granted and move on, while others go through hellish years while they
adjust. Think of it like going through puberty again. Your body is changing,
how people see it is also changing, you're becoming more sexual and
attractive and what you perceive of yourself is badly in sync with what
others see.
Sometimes, it gets better on its own, sometimes it gets better with some
pain, and sometimes it doesn't. It's hard to predict, it depends on you. But
*if* you feel like it's hard or not satisfying or even if you worry about
it, that's certainly something a good psychologist can help you with. I
would especially consider one with a specialty in eating disorders, since
treating self-image distortion is always part of the cure for these.

I am worried because I am starting to obsess over the scale.


That's the same symptom. Since you have troubles defining your body and
evaluating, you have to settle for putting a number on it as its "value".
Once you have managed to inhabit trully your new body, the scale won't
matter than much, what will matter is how well you feel inside of yourself.
Gaining weight then translates as feeling unwell in your body, instead of as
a number on the scale.

I've been thinking about going on maintenance for awhile and giving my
'mind' a break.


That might be a good idea. Especially if you have a past history of binges
or psychological issues. You can only stretch so far the distance between
your mind and body before you put them in sync again. Going in maintenance
for a short while, and working at your mind (yourself or with a
psychologist) in the meantime might help.


  #6  
Old August 29th, 2004, 06:12 PM
Lictor
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"Lady o' the house" wrote in message
...
Thanks, Becky. I don't think you're being too harsh at all. I KNOW that

I
was in denial for years. Even when I would look in the mirror, I couldn't
or wouldn't see how big I'd gotten.


Actually, most obese people look at their *face* in the mirror. Most of us
have become very good at ignoring that we have a body bellow our head. It
took me a long while to realize how fat I had become, because I was only
looking at the face, and I was fortunate enough not to gain much fat in that
area.

It had gotten to the point that I
couldn't stand to have my picture taken. If I did manage to get my

picture
done, I refused to look at it since I would end up crying over it. But

that
was so long ago. I don't feel that way anymore.


Same here. Pictures are killers because you can't ignore your body on them.
Movies are even worse.

And, no, I'm not very tall. I'm 5'7", pretty average, so I'm not thin by
any stretch of the imagination. And I know that and accept that reality,
and I'm changing it.


One of the problem we all face is you are in the middle grounds right now.
This means you're looking different to different people. The people who know
you perceive you as slimmER, and you will get very positive feedback. But
the people who don't know you still preceive you as fat (which is why I
think fat acceptance can benefit dieters on non-dieters alike, because most
dieters are *also* fat a good deal of the way down, and we can do without
the negative feedback from strangers). So, if you own self image is not
firmly set, you're going to oscillate all the time, depending on what the
other people are showing of yourself...


  #7  
Old August 30th, 2004, 01:12 AM
Lady o' the house
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Default

Thanks for the thoughts, Ig. It helps to hear that others are going/have
gone through the same thing.

--
Linda
296/203/160
LC since Oct. 13, 2003
http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html


"Ignoramus17461" wrote in message
...
In article ,

Lady o' the house wrote:
Do I need to see a doctor about my self-image problem, or does it get

better
eventually? I am worried because I am starting to obsess over the

scale.
I've been thinking about going on maintenance for awhile and giving my
'mind' a break.


I can relate my experiences. I became used to seeing myself as a fat
person.

After I lost weight and returned to normal weight, I was seeing myself
as a fat person for a few more months. I intellectually knew that I
was in a decent shape, but felt somehow as though I was fat. Now,
after a year, gradually, I see myself as more and more as belonging to
the crowd of "normal weight" people.

This change of self perception became especially apparent after I
switched to a low carb paleo diet and got rid of persistent, though
manageable, hunger.

You have gone a long way, but you are still overweight, so, there is
some reality is perceiving yourself as overweight. If you manage to
lose more, and maintain, time will adjust your self image, I would
hope. I also hope that you won't lose your vigilance, even as your
self image changes.

You do not sound like a mentally disturbed freak to me, so, I think,
you will be able to adjust to a welcome change in circumstances.

i



  #8  
Old August 30th, 2004, 01:12 AM
Lady o' the house
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Posts: n/a
Default

Thanks for the thoughts, Ig. It helps to hear that others are going/have
gone through the same thing.

--
Linda
296/203/160
LC since Oct. 13, 2003
http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html


"Ignoramus17461" wrote in message
...
In article ,

Lady o' the house wrote:
Do I need to see a doctor about my self-image problem, or does it get

better
eventually? I am worried because I am starting to obsess over the

scale.
I've been thinking about going on maintenance for awhile and giving my
'mind' a break.


I can relate my experiences. I became used to seeing myself as a fat
person.

After I lost weight and returned to normal weight, I was seeing myself
as a fat person for a few more months. I intellectually knew that I
was in a decent shape, but felt somehow as though I was fat. Now,
after a year, gradually, I see myself as more and more as belonging to
the crowd of "normal weight" people.

This change of self perception became especially apparent after I
switched to a low carb paleo diet and got rid of persistent, though
manageable, hunger.

You have gone a long way, but you are still overweight, so, there is
some reality is perceiving yourself as overweight. If you manage to
lose more, and maintain, time will adjust your self image, I would
hope. I also hope that you won't lose your vigilance, even as your
self image changes.

You do not sound like a mentally disturbed freak to me, so, I think,
you will be able to adjust to a welcome change in circumstances.

i



  #9  
Old August 30th, 2004, 01:12 AM
Lady o' the house
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Thanks for all of your advice, Lictor.

--
Linda
296/203/160
LC since Oct. 13, 2003
http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html

"Lictor" wrote in message
...
"Lady o' the house" wrote in message
...
Thanks, Becky. I don't think you're being too harsh at all. I KNOW

that
I
was in denial for years. Even when I would look in the mirror, I

couldn't
or wouldn't see how big I'd gotten.


Actually, most obese people look at their *face* in the mirror. Most of us
have become very good at ignoring that we have a body bellow our head. It
took me a long while to realize how fat I had become, because I was only
looking at the face, and I was fortunate enough not to gain much fat in

that
area.

It had gotten to the point that I
couldn't stand to have my picture taken. If I did manage to get my

picture
done, I refused to look at it since I would end up crying over it. But

that
was so long ago. I don't feel that way anymore.


Same here. Pictures are killers because you can't ignore your body on

them.
Movies are even worse.

And, no, I'm not very tall. I'm 5'7", pretty average, so I'm not thin

by
any stretch of the imagination. And I know that and accept that

reality,
and I'm changing it.


One of the problem we all face is you are in the middle grounds right now.
This means you're looking different to different people. The people who

know
you perceive you as slimmER, and you will get very positive feedback. But
the people who don't know you still preceive you as fat (which is why I
think fat acceptance can benefit dieters on non-dieters alike, because

most
dieters are *also* fat a good deal of the way down, and we can do without
the negative feedback from strangers). So, if you own self image is not
firmly set, you're going to oscillate all the time, depending on what the
other people are showing of yourself...




  #10  
Old August 30th, 2004, 04:01 AM
Sunshyne
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I been following this thread, and got alot out of it also. I still see a fat
woman when looking in the mirror. Its gradually getting better. I should see a
thinner woman. Or not so overweight and obese. Heck, my clothes hang off me.
People compliment me. I don't know how to take it.

Thanks for starting the thread linda. It helped me too. It probably helped
others also.

Thanks for the thoughts, Ig. It helps to hear that others are going/have
gone through the same thing.

--
Linda
296/203/160
LC since Oct. 13, 2003
http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html



 




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