New to the support group

"J.J. in WA State"

At one time, yes, I had similar issues. I weighed 275 lbs (I'm only
5'4"), and I knew I needed to get healthy. Yet Id still wind up
eating an entire bag of microwave popcorn slathered with 1/2 cube of
melted butter, then following that up with 3-4 candy bars.The worst
of all, I *didn't accept* that I had a problem with food -- after all,
my husband ate more at meal time than I did.

Been there done that... No one ever saw me eat a large meal. I would eat
sensible meals and hide my binges. I remember eating 3-4 (or more) candy
bars in under 15 mins. They were easy to hide in my glove compartment.

One day, I noticed that our insurance company would help pay for
weight loss if one was morbidly obese. I had finally realized that
if I didn't do something, I wouldn't live long enough to see my
grandchildren. Yet I still couldn't seem to get in gear. I was
pinning my hopes on weight loss surgery, but still eating like
there was no tomorrow.

It is amazing that they freaking pay for surgery but won't pay for us to be
on a doctor supervised diet.


What seems so weird to me now is that the past few years have been
really good for me. Happily married, great kid (he's 6), no major
money issues. So it took me a long time, but I realized that I was
still fat because I honestly didn't *want* to lose weight. I was
too comfortable hiding from life.

Yup, again... been there done that.

Being overweight, for me, was a kind of security blanket. There are
fewer emotional risks involved in that lifestyle. I could hide inside
of myself -- and I'm a rather shy person, so all the better. People
didn't seem to expect much out of me; after all, I'm fat so I must be
lazy too, you know the stereotypes. And if I got to feeling low, the
food would comfort me; at least until after I ate it, then I'd start
hating myself for having no control.

J.J., I could have written the above paragraph. It is so nice to know that
there are people out there that have been through what I've been thru as far
as binging food addiction. Every sentance is me. I am very shy in social
situations, but not shy in my job. I was so shy in high school that I
didn't date much or go to my prom because I never socialized with guys. I
was so painfully shy, I was scared to.

I wanted to go back to college, get a job outside the house, start
a business, do *something*! But I was afraid to try, afraid that I
would fail. So I hid in my comfy little world of eating whatever and
whenever I wanted to.

Yup... blame the fat for causing you not to succeed in school or work or
whatever else you can fill in the blank with.

I'm not sure why things have changed so much for me now. I've lost 35
pounds (11 via diet and exercise, 24 from being an undiagnosed Type2
diabetic). At 240 pounds, I'm still fat, but I don't *feel* fat, if
you see what I mean. I feel better, more open, certainly busier. I no
longer hide from my problems, I talk about my weight and weight loss
openly. I'm planning to take a class this fall (money permitting). I'm
talking to people about getting some part time work. I volunteer more
at my son's school, and have made a lot of new friends. Some of this
is scary for me, but I believe I can do it. Having a newsgroup like
this one really helps. I guess I just got tired of hiding from life.

Keep feeling beautiful and healthy at the weight you are at. Imagine how
much better you will feel every for every 10 lbs that falls off of you.
That is what motivates me not to binge.

I don't know if your issues are motivated by similar problems, and
sorry this is so long, but maybe knowing you're not alone will help.
Best wishes on getting back to a healthier lifestyle, I truly believe
that if I could do it, you can too... :-)

Ditto!


--
J.J. in WA State
(251/240/150 - Type2 Since 02/04)

"Beverly" wrote in news:%WF6c.32579
:

If so, could
your lack of enthusiasm for it come across in your resume?

Basically, no. The simple reason is that it's the same resume I've
used successfully in the past, with just a few updates and shortened
a little.

I've seen it "tough" before, 81-82, 90-91. Those don't hold a candle
to this. The usual rule I've noticed in the past is that for every
three inquiries, I'll get one interview, and for every 15 interviews,
I'll get one offer (by extension, I'd need 45 inquiries
(statistically) to get an offer. My last inquiry was October. I've
been sending out resumes--in response to actual job postings--every
day, miniumin three per day.

So enthusiasm has nothing to with it. The job market has simply
vanished.

"OceanView" wrote in message
...
"Beverly" wrote in news:%WF6c.32579
:

If so, could
your lack of enthusiasm for it come across in your resume?

Basically, no. The simple reason is that it's the same resume I've
used successfully in the past, with just a few updates and shortened
a little.

I've seen it "tough" before, 81-82, 90-91. Those don't hold a candle
to this. The usual rule I've noticed in the past is that for every
three inquiries, I'll get one interview, and for every 15 interviews,
I'll get one offer (by extension, I'd need 45 inquiries
(statistically) to get an offer. My last inquiry was October. I've
been sending out resumes--in response to actual job postings--every
day, miniumin three per day.

So enthusiasm has nothing to with it. The job market has simply
vanished.


Well, then you're going to have to either take a low paying job (Wal-Mart
greeter if you're old enough), learn a new trade or find a piece of
cardboard that you can write "Starving, please help!" on. Check into going
back to school, there are lots of student loans available. You don't seem
to be willing to explore your options but if there are *no* jobs, there are
*no* jobs. My DH got his teaching certification because there are *no*
computer jobs here anymore.

Tonia

"That T Woman" wrote in message
...

Well, then you're going to have to either take a low paying job (Wal-Mart
greeter if you're old enough), Tonia


He can't have the Wal-Mart greeter position - that's the one I want when I
retire from this IT rat race

"Beverly" wrote in message
...

"That T Woman" wrote in message
...

Well, then you're going to have to either take a low paying job
(Wal-Mart
greeter if you're old enough), Tonia


He can't have the Wal-Mart greeter position - that's the one I want when I
retire from this IT rat race


2 people, thousands of Wal-Marts, I don't see a problem. My guess is that
he'll opt for the sign, though.

Tonia

"That T Woman" wrote in
:


"OceanView" wrote in message
...
"Beverly" wrote in news:%WF6c.32579
:

If so, could
your lack of enthusiasm for it come across in your resume?

Basically, no. The simple reason is that it's the same resume
I've used successfully in the past, with just a few updates and
shortened a little.

I've seen it "tough" before, 81-82, 90-91. Those don't hold a
candle to this. The usual rule I've noticed in the past is
that for every three inquiries, I'll get one interview, and for
every 15 interviews, I'll get one offer (by extension, I'd need
45 inquiries (statistically) to get an offer. My last inquiry
was October. I've been sending out resumes--in response to
actual job postings--every day, miniumin three per day.

So enthusiasm has nothing to with it. The job market has simply
vanished.


Well, then you're going to have to either take a low paying job
(Wal-Mart greeter if you're old enough), learn a new trade or
find a piece of cardboard that you can write "Starving, please
help!" on. Check into going back to school, there are lots of
student loans available. You don't seem to be willing to
explore your options but if there are *no* jobs, there are *no*
jobs. My DH got his teaching certification because there are
*no* computer jobs here anymore.

Tonia






I've already tried that. So far, I've been rejected by Lowes, Home
Depot, Stop & Shop, two temp agencies, and so on. Trust me when I
say that there's nothing more demenaing than getting rejected for a
$6.60 job when you're a member of Phi Beta Kappa and made $90 two
years ago.

If I had a family, or could find a date even, maybe I'd see some
reason to push through it. Right now I don't even know why I get
out of bed.

"Beverly" wrote in
:


"That T Woman" wrote in message
...

Well, then you're going to have to either take a low paying job
(Wal-Mart greeter if you're old enough), Tonia


He can't have the Wal-Mart greeter position - that's the one I
want when I retire from this IT rat race




I know you folks think this is hilarious, or that I'm making
excuses. It isn't, and I'm not.

As someone who picked the absolute Worst time in the history of
planet get out of the IT ratrace (two months before the rest of the
department), you'd be better off to hold on to what you've got with
both hands. 60 hours? Im possible deliverables? Yes, sir. Thank
you sir! May I have another? Trust me when I say that if you've
been unemployed before and think you know what it's like, you
haven't. For those of us in IT, this isn't a downturn, it's a
full-blown depression, and it may very well not come back. (Three
million jobs have disappeared since 2000) I've been laid off four
times, and all the previous times *combined* don't compare to this.

I've pretty much made the decision that I'm a high-school dropout
and starting from scratch (if I choose to bother). I'm just not
going to waste hours every day pouring resumes into a black hole.
Zero ROI. I'm going back to the idea of self-employment, though
it's pretty tough with zero startup capital.

"OceanView" wrote in message
...
I've already tried that. So far, I've been rejected by Lowes, Home
Depot, Stop & Shop, two temp agencies, and so on. Trust me when I
say that there's nothing more demenaing than getting rejected for a
$6.60 job when you're a member of Phi Beta Kappa and made $90 two
years ago.

If I had a family, or could find a date even, maybe I'd see some
reason to push through it. Right now I don't even know why I get
out of bed.

Did you put on the applications that you used to make $90/hr.? If so,
that could be enough to make you get rejected if they know you're going to
leave as soon as you find something better.

"OceanView" wrote in message
...
"That T Woman" wrote in
:


"OceanView" wrote in message
...
"Beverly" wrote in news:%WF6c.32579
:

If so, could
your lack of enthusiasm for it come across in your resume?

Basically, no. The simple reason is that it's the same resume
I've used successfully in the past, with just a few updates and
shortened a little.

I've seen it "tough" before, 81-82, 90-91. Those don't hold a
candle to this. The usual rule I've noticed in the past is
that for every three inquiries, I'll get one interview, and for
every 15 interviews, I'll get one offer (by extension, I'd need
45 inquiries (statistically) to get an offer. My last inquiry
was October. I've been sending out resumes--in response to
actual job postings--every day, miniumin three per day.

So enthusiasm has nothing to with it. The job market has simply
vanished.


Well, then you're going to have to either take a low paying job
(Wal-Mart greeter if you're old enough), learn a new trade or
find a piece of cardboard that you can write "Starving, please
help!" on. Check into going back to school, there are lots of
student loans available. You don't seem to be willing to
explore your options but if there are *no* jobs, there are *no*
jobs. My DH got his teaching certification because there are
*no* computer jobs here anymore.

Tonia






I've already tried that. So far, I've been rejected by Lowes, Home
Depot, Stop & Shop, two temp agencies, and so on. Trust me when I
say that there's nothing more demenaing than getting rejected for a
$6.60 job when you're a member of Phi Beta Kappa and made $90 two
years ago.

If I had a family, or could find a date even, maybe I'd see some
reason to push through it. Right now I don't even know why I get
out of bed.

Your depression and desperation are probably showing during your interviews.
You have no support network of friends/family/church that can help you?
If you don't, find a church, make some friends and see if someone there can
point you towards some social interaction and maybe a connection for a job.
I know it's a cliché but clichés are based on real circumstances.

Good luck
Tonia

"That T Woman" wrote in
:


"Beverly" wrote in message
...

"That T Woman" wrote in message
...

Well, then you're going to have to either take a low paying
job
(Wal-Mart
greeter if you're old enough), Tonia


He can't have the Wal-Mart greeter position - that's the one I
want when I retire from this IT rat race


2 people, thousands of Wal-Marts, I don't see a problem. My
guess is that he'll opt for the sign, though.

Tonia




That was unneccesarily rude. alt. what was it again?