Back to where I was (and worse)

Look for an Overeaters Annonymous near you.

On Feb 28, 4:54 pm, BTM wrote:
So, over the past several months or so I've been severely depressed
from several bad and stressful things that have happened to me. As I
often do when I'm depressed, I turned to eating, (probably a bit more
than usual as I was heavily contemplating suicide at several points).

Bad things happen to good people, its how you react to it that counts.
Only you can control what goes in your mouth. Turning to food at
moments like these is like filling a void that for the moment fades
but is like a sore that abcesses afterwards. Think about why you turn
to food for comfort. Its a vicious cycle of emotions that needs to be
addressed - fixing your head first paves the way to a healthier
lifestyle. Its like if you have the right reasons, the motivation from
within prevails, because you are centered and stronger, aND the rest
kind of follows to make the right changes in your lifestyle.

Sadly, if anyone actually noticed my weight loss, they didn't mention
(except my mom, who helpfull said my belly didn't stick "as far" as it did.)

Well she's your mom, and moms say stufff like that ;-)
Truthfully tho, you shouldnt be losing weight to impress anyone but
yourself.
Sure its nice to receive a pat on the back or a compliment, but inside
knowing that you are doing this for you is so self gratifying when you
can at last walk those stairs without being out of breath, or catch
yourself in a window and not recognize that slimmer person you have
become. Your health, your life, you deserve better.

Sooo.. I'm gonna try start cutting back again, going to the rec center
more. It's like the 100th time I've made myself this promise, so, god
only knows how long I'm going to keep it.

Make goals. None of this 'I'm gonna TRY' stuff.
Rearrange your vocabulary. I will. I can.
Think positive thoughts and make small attainable goals. I will walk x
amount today. I can do this. All is possible if you are prepared to
commit yourself to being good to yourself.

My mom has been mentioning the idea of gastric bypass to me.
I don't know.. do I even WANT to do that?

Its kind of like people who have too much plastic surgery. Ah life
will be wonderful if only ..and they find out it isnt afterwards
because they still are carrying all the emotional baggage as before so
changes cannot happen - really happen - without changing your inside
to match the outside.

I really believe I could lose all the weight myself if I could just
get this damn, unending depression to go away. Or at least, down to a
low roar.

Did you know that exercise releases endorphins which help alleviate
depression?
Did you know that many forms of healthy foods do the same? (Essential
fatty acids, antioxidents, and the vitamins you get from eating right
all play a part in hormones/brain chemistry etc) that can only be good
for you. Increase your learning curve on nutrtion and after awhile it
will become 'I cant believe I used to eat that .. '

On the other hand...
Ahhh.. to be thin!
It seems like a distant, unattenable dream.
To able to buy clothes that fit anywhere, to have energy to run around
and do whatever you want. To have girls smile when you say, "Hi" to
them cause you're not a blob of wasted space.
I don't know.. maybe I'm grandizing it, but God, it's such a wonderful
scenerio...

You are dreaming it instead of living it.
Like everything would be wonderful if only I was thin. This is like a
fat myth. It doesnt work like that. You could be thin and miserable.
Its just like people who win a million and are still miserable. You
need to work on your inner self and improve your self esteem/self
worth. You are important! Yess dammit you are worth it! Self worth is
something only you can improve upon to make yourself happy. Yes
happiness is a journey, not a destination. :-) You CAN do this and
staying in touch with people like this group may help you along the
way.

From a friend of mine: "One night I made a list of things that prompt
me to want to eat (notice that hunger isn't one of them):Reward,
entertainment, boredom, anxiety, celebration, habit, relaxation,
escape,comfort, sadness, guilt, stress, social pressure, fatigue,
fear, depression,
joy, resentment, doubt, custom, anger, spite, fun, shame, bonding,
pleasure, pity, worry, laziness, approval, distraction, impulse,
relief, regret, rebellion, indifference, envy, surprise, pain,
impatience = forty dumb reasons to eat. Eating healthy is tricky
business when you're used to taking the edge off of every feeling with
food. Suddenly you have to just FEEL everything and not medicate
yourself with Doritos. It's scary and uncomfortable at first but the
rewards are huge. Being strong, lean and confident is even more fun
than chocolate. :-)"





joanne
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Nothing tastes as good as being in shape feels*
*Do or do not ~ There is no try* ~ Yoda *Lift well, Eat less, Walk
fast, Live long*
*And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more
painful than the risk it took to blossom*

On Feb 28, 7:54 pm, BTM wrote:

HI BTM,

We exchanged some posts about a year ago. It's good to see you back.
Now you can build on your success. And yes, it has been a success.
Stay with me for this post, OK, and you'll understand why.

So, over the past several months or so I've been severely depressed
from several bad and stressful things that have happened to me. As I
often do when I'm depressed, I turned to eating, (probably a bit more
than usual as I was heavily contemplating suicide at several points).

I hope you are seeking help. Life is very much worth living.

Anyway, been feeling sort of better of late, new meds for depression
and all. Stepped on the scale and, basically, I've gained BACK all
the weight I lost since last February. I was at 422 back then, I
started working out a lot at the rec center, cutting out a lot of
extra fatty snacks, and had managed to drop down to 388. Sadly, if
anyone actually noticed my weight loss, they didn't mention (except my
mom, who helpfull said my belly didn't stick "as far" as it did.)

It can take a while for the change to be noticed. It wasn't until I
lost 40 pounds that coworker's noticed my weight drop.

Anyway, I'm up 428 now, and some of my pants are getting harder to put
on and my ankels have been bothering me on and off.

Sorry to read that.

Sooo.. I'm gonna try start cutting back again, going to the rec center
more.

Do. There is no try.

It's like the 100th time I've made myself this promise, so, god
only knows how long I'm going to keep it.

No, only YOU know how long you are going to keep it.

My mom has been mentioning the idea of gastric bypass to me. She said
she's had three different friends do it and they seemed real happy
with the results. In fact, she says if the option was available back
when she was severly overweight (she's been up like 250 pounds I
believe) she would have done it.

Supposedly, if you don't have insurance and you do some paperwork (or
something) you might get it through medicaid, dunno if I ever qualify,
but still...

I don't know.. do I even WANT to do that?

I don't recommend having part of your body cut off to control your
weight. Yes, some people need it. Some people do well on it. Many do
not. Eating less and better, with exercise, work very well.

Part of thinks doing that would be a kind of surrender, you know?
Like saying, "Ahh, hell, I give up, let's just have surgery..."

Yes, that's probably what many people think.

I really believe I could lose all the weight myself if I could just
get this damn, unending depression to go away. Or at least, down to a
low roar.

Part of the feeling of depression could be from failing to "take arms
against a sea of troubles and by opposing, end them." In other words,
perhaps the obesity is the cause instead of the symptom. You may find
focusing on weight loss is just what the doctor/therapist ordered. Of
course, I hope you have sought professional counseling for your
depression.

On the other hand...

Ahhh.. to be thin!

It seems like a distant, unattenable dream.

You can do it, BTM.

To able to buy clothes that fit anywhere, to have energy to run around
and do whatever you want. To have girls smile when you say, "Hi" to
them cause you're not a blob of wasted space.

I don't know.. maybe I'm grandizing it, but God, it's such a wonderful
scenerio...

I've been making it happen. Check out these photos from my blog:

Here I am at 385 pounds 17 months ago:

http://historian2wheels.blogspot.com...nt-photos.html

Here I am a week ago. Please ignore the bad posture - scoliosis is not
pretty:

http://historian2wheels.blogspot.com...ng-biking.html

http://historian2wheels.blogspot.com...y-19-2007.html

I hit 252 this week. When I started I could barely walk a city block
and I was winded after 7 minutes on the recumbent bike. Now I can hike
six miles and spend an hour on the spin bike.

If I can do it, you can.

I don't know, just wished I had more a local support group to help me
out when I get down and start to want to binge, someone in my "corner"
who seemed to give a damn about me. I just don't think I can do this
all on my own.

You have ASD. And you will find that as you lose weight, your support
group will grow.

But your primary supporter has to be you. If you don't love yourself
enough to make the changes, all the support in the world won't help.

But you can do it. As I mentioned, you are a success. You did lose
weight, and you did exercise regularly. So now you know you can do it.
All you need to do is do it longer this time, and not give up if you
have a bad day.

You can do it, BTM. And you know it. So just do it.

Neil
385/252/200

On Fri, 02 Mar 2007 13:07:46 GMT, Mitch Mitch@... wrote:

Have you considered antidepressants?

On my third one right now. The first worked for about a year, the
second worked for about four months or so. Guess my body is
developing some kind of "half-life" when it comes to the medicine's
effectiveness.

On Mar 2, 9:13 pm, "The Historian" wrote:
On Feb 28, 7:54 pm, BTM wrote:

HI BTM,

We exchanged some posts about a year ago. It's good to see you back.
Now you can build on your success. And yes, it has been a success.
Stay with me for this post, OK, and you'll understand why.

So, over the past several months or so I've been severely depressed
from several bad and stressful things that have happened to me. As I
often do when I'm depressed, I turned to eating, (probably a bit more
than usual as I was heavily contemplating suicide at several points).

I hope you are seeking help. Life is very much worth living.

Anyway, been feeling sort of better of late, new meds for depression
and all. Stepped on the scale and, basically, I've gained BACK all
the weight I lost since last February. I was at 422 back then, I
started working out a lot at the rec center, cutting out a lot of
extra fatty snacks, and had managed to drop down to 388. Sadly, if
anyone actually noticed my weight loss, they didn't mention (except my
mom, who helpfull said my belly didn't stick "as far" as it did.)

It can take a while for the change to be noticed. It wasn't until I
lost 40 pounds that coworker's noticed my weight drop.

Anyway, I'm up 428 now, and some of my pants are getting harder to put
on and my ankels have been bothering me on and off.

Sorry to read that.

Sooo.. I'm gonna try start cutting back again, going to the rec center
more.

Do. There is no try.

It's like the 100th time I've made myself this promise, so, god

only knows how long I'm going to keep it.

No, only YOU know how long you are going to keep it.

My mom has been mentioning the idea of gastric bypass to me. She said
she's had three different friends do it and they seemed real happy
with the results. In fact, she says if the option was available back
when she was severly overweight (she's been up like 250 pounds I
believe) she would have done it.

Supposedly, if you don't have insurance and you do some paperwork (or
something) you might get it through medicaid, dunno if I ever qualify,
but still...

I don't know.. do I even WANT to do that?

I don't recommend having part of your body cut off to control your
weight. Yes, some people need it. Some people do well on it. Many do
not. Eating less and better, with exercise, work very well.

Part of thinks doing that would be a kind of surrender, you know?
Like saying, "Ahh, hell, I give up, let's just have surgery..."

Yes, that's probably what many people think.

I really believe I could lose all the weight myself if I could just
get this damn, unending depression to go away. Or at least, down to a
low roar.

Part of the feeling of depression could be from failing to "take arms
against a sea of troubles and by opposing, end them." In other words,
perhaps the obesity is the cause instead of the symptom. You may find
focusing on weight loss is just what the doctor/therapist ordered. Of
course, I hope you have sought professional counseling for your
depression.

On the other hand...

Ahhh.. to be thin!

It seems like a distant, unattenable dream.

You can do it, BTM.

To able to buy clothes that fit anywhere, to have energy to run around
and do whatever you want. To have girls smile when you say, "Hi" to
them cause you're not a blob of wasted space.

I don't know.. maybe I'm grandizing it, but God, it's such a wonderful
scenerio...

I've been making it happen. Check out these photos from my blog:

Here I am at 385 pounds 17 months ago:

http://historian2wheels.blogspot.com...isons-sake-to-...

Here I am a week ago. Please ignore the bad posture - scoliosis is not
pretty:

http://historian2wheels.blogspot.com...o-to-fat-men-w...

http://historian2wheels.blogspot.com...eport-february...

I hit 252 this week. When I started I could barely walk a city block
and I was winded after 7 minutes on the recumbent bike. Now I can hike
six miles and spend an hour on the spin bike.

If I can do it, you can.

I don't know, just wished I had more a local support group to help me
out when I get down and start to want to binge, someone in my "corner"
who seemed to give a damn about me. I just don't think I can do this
all on my own.

You have ASD. And you will find that as you lose weight, your support
group will grow.

But your primary supporter has to be you. If you don't love yourself
enough to make the changes, all the support in the world won't help.

But you can do it. As I mentioned, you are a success. You did lose
weight, and you did exercise regularly. So now you know you can do it.
All you need to do is do it longer this time, and not give up if you
have a bad day.

You can do it, BTM. And you know it. So just do it.

Neil
385/252/200

BTM --

Neil certainly is correct! Reminds me of the story of the two naughty
children who thought to play a prank on their priest and so they
captured a bird, and gave it to one of the children. They thought that
whatever the priest said, he'd be wrong. (The boy was going to ask him
if the bird was alive and if he said no, then he was going to open his
hands and let the creature fly away. If he said the bird was alive, he
would crush him quickly and show him falling to the ground, dead.)

So the priest looked at both of the boys and said, "The answer is in
your hands!"

Like Neil, I say the answer is in your hands!

At the same time, please let me say there is a lot of nonsense
regarding dieting, but your basic goal is to restrict calories
severely enough and long enough to reach your health target. God
didn't say you have to eat three huge meals a day -- or any meals a
day. (I eat two or less, as a rule.) And certainly God doesn't say you
have to put yourself in tempting situations.

You are now eating many, many calories in the course of a day --
probably 5000 plus (to maintain your weight). People survive very,
very well on far fewer calories than this an YOU CAN TOO!!!

If I eat continuously I am far more hungry than if I restrict myself,
and I'd bet you are the same way too!

If you cut back to 1500 calories a day, you'd be losing more than a
pound a day for a while. I don't know anybody here who would not
celebrate such a loss in a weight-losing phase!!!

BTM -- you can do it! Neil is absolutely right, and please look at his
EXCELLENT example!

Yours truly,

Caleb

On Mar 10, 1:35 am, "Caleb" wrote:

Like Neil, I say the answer is in your hands!

At the same time, please let me say there is a lot of nonsense
regarding dieting,

Much of which comes from "Caleb." Read below for an example.

but your basic goal is to restrict calories
severely enough and long enough to reach your health target. God
didn't say you have to eat three huge meals a day -- or any meals a
day. (I eat two or less, as a rule.) And certainly God doesn't say you
have to put yourself in tempting situations.

You are now eating many, many calories in the course of a day --
probably 5000 plus (to maintain your weight). People survive very,
very well on far fewer calories than this an YOU CAN TOO!!!

If I eat continuously I am far more hungry than if I restrict myself,
and I'd bet you are the same way too!

If you cut back to 1500 calories a day, you'd be losing more than a
pound a day for a while. I don't know anybody here who would not
celebrate such a loss in a weight-losing phase!!!

Caleb, I've done a great many stupid things in the course of losing
weight, and perhaps I'll do a great many more. However, I hope I never
do anything as stupid as "celebrate" a weight loss of more than a
pound a day. Or encourage a 400 pound man to "cut back to 1500
calories a day."

BTM -- you can do it! Neil is absolutely right, and please look at his
EXCELLENT example!

Neil's excellent decision was to stop posting on asd because the group
was overrun with fat-acceptance flames, alternative medicine cranks
who think fat people are sick and need to read their 'wisdom', and
clueless people like you. Please don't draft me into your 'cause',
Caleb.

Neil
385/252/200
http://historian2wheels.blogspot.com/

The Historian wrote:

Neil's excellent decision was to stop posting on asd because the group
was overrun with fat-acceptance flames, alternative medicine cranks
who think fat people are sick and need to read their 'wisdom', and
clueless people like you. Please don't draft me into your 'cause',
Caleb.

It's just a phase. The group will survive. Don't be a total stranger!

On Mar 10, 12:19 pm, (The Queen of Cans and
Jars) wrote:
The Historian wrote:
Neil's excellent decision was to stop posting on asd because the group
was overrun with fat-acceptance flames, alternative medicine cranks
who think fat people are sick and need to read their 'wisdom', and
clueless people like you. Please don't draft me into your 'cause',
Caleb.

It's just a phase. The group will survive. Don't be a total stranger!

I'll try to stop in more often. Thanks again, Queen.

Neil
385/252/200
http://historian2wheels.blogspot.com/index.html

On Mar 10, 7:40 am, "The Historian" wrote:
On Mar 10, 1:35 am, "Caleb" wrote:



Like Neil, I say the answer is in your hands!

At the same time, please let me say there is a lot of nonsense
regarding dieting,

Much of which comes from "Caleb." Read below for an example.

but your basic goal is to restrict calories

severely enough and long enough to reach your health target. God
didn't say you have to eat three huge meals a day -- or any meals a
day. (I eat two or less, as a rule.) And certainly God doesn't say you
have to put yourself in tempting situations.

You are now eating many, many calories in the course of a day --
probably 5000 plus (to maintain your weight). People survive very,
very well on far fewer calories than this an YOU CAN TOO!!!

If I eat continuously I am far more hungry than if I restrict myself,
and I'd bet you are the same way too!

If you cut back to 1500 calories a day, you'd be losing more than a
pound a day for a while. I don't know anybody here who would not
celebrate such a loss in a weight-losing phase!!!

Caleb, I've done a great many stupid things in the course of losing
weight, and perhaps I'll do a great many more. However, I hope I never
do anything as stupid as "celebrate" a weight loss of more than a
pound a day. Or encourage a 400 pound man to "cut back to 1500
calories a day."

BTM -- you can do it! Neil is absolutely right, and please look at his
EXCELLENT example!

Neil's excellent decision was to stop posting on asd because the group
was overrun with fat-acceptance flames, alternative medicine cranks
who think fat people are sick and need to read their 'wisdom', and
clueless people like you. Please don't draft me into your 'cause',
Caleb.

Neil
385/252/200http://historian2wheels.blogspot.com/

Neil -- I think you're the one with nonsense.

Let's break our your reasoning a bit, shall we?

I would be willing to bet that if BTM goes to his doctor and asks her/
him whether a 1500 calorie a day diet would be healthy for him for a
while (let's say two months), his doctor would say, "Sure!"

Wanna bet with me on this?

Losing a pound a day for a while would also immediately reduce blood
pressure (if that's a problem), would reduce the risk of diabetes and
other ailments, would be highly motivating and result in a weight
program one can continue for a while, etc., etc.

Or, Neil, are you an internist in your free time?

Cutting down to 1500 calories for a while would also demonstrate to
people that life doesn't end if one doesn't continually insert
calories into one's mouth.

Seems to me that YOU are the one full of nonsense if your only single
criterion to weight loss is "don't lose weight too quickly." You
remind me of Alan Greenspan who justified Bush's tax cuts with the
statement that we shouldn't pay off the national debt too quickly.
(Well, Bush has sure resolved this.)

We can all think of reasons not to lose weight in a motivating
fashion. This is one that is particularly toxic for many people

BTM -- Why not ask your doctor whether what I'm saying makes sense?

Yours,

Caleb

On Mar 10, 5:22 pm, "Caleb" wrote:
On Mar 10, 7:40 am, "The Historian" wrote:



On Mar 10, 1:35 am, "Caleb" wrote:

Like Neil, I say the answer is in your hands!

At the same time, please let me say there is a lot of nonsense
regarding dieting,

Much of which comes from "Caleb." Read below for an example.

but your basic goal is to restrict calories

severely enough and long enough to reach your health target. God
didn't say you have to eat three huge meals a day -- or any meals a
day. (I eat two or less, as a rule.) And certainly God doesn't say you
have to put yourself in tempting situations.

You are now eating many, many calories in the course of a day --
probably 5000 plus (to maintain your weight). People survive very,
very well on far fewer calories than this an YOU CAN TOO!!!

If I eat continuously I am far more hungry than if I restrict myself,
and I'd bet you are the same way too!

If you cut back to 1500 calories a day, you'd be losing more than a
pound a day for a while. I don't know anybody here who would not
celebrate such a loss in a weight-losing phase!!!

Caleb, I've done a great many stupid things in the course of losing
weight, and perhaps I'll do a great many more. However, I hope I never
do anything as stupid as "celebrate" a weight loss of more than a
pound a day. Or encourage a 400 pound man to "cut back to 1500
calories a day."

BTM -- you can do it! Neil is absolutely right, and please look at his
EXCELLENT example!

Neil's excellent decision was to stop posting on asd because the group
was overrun with fat-acceptance flames, alternative medicine cranks
who think fat people are sick and need to read their 'wisdom', and
clueless people like you. Please don't draft me into your 'cause',
Caleb.

Neil
385/252/200http://historian2wheels.blogspot.com/

Neil -- I think you're the one with nonsense.

Results speak, Caleb. I've lost a whole person in weight - a Chris
Braun, if you must know - and am in the best health of my adult life.
And you've accomplished.... what?

Let's break our your reasoning a bit, shall we?

I would be willing to bet that if BTM goes to his doctor and asks her/
him whether a 1500 calorie a day diet would be healthy for him for a
while (let's say two months), his doctor would say, "Sure!"

Wanna bet with me on this?

Losing a pound a day for a while would also immediately reduce blood
pressure (if that's a problem), would reduce the risk of diabetes and
other ailments, would be highly motivating and result in a weight
program one can continue for a while, etc., etc.

Or, Neil, are you an internist in your free time?

Cutting down to 1500 calories for a while would also demonstrate to
people that life doesn't end if one doesn't continually insert
calories into one's mouth.

Seems to me that YOU are the one full of nonsense if your only single
criterion to weight loss is "don't lose weight too quickly." You
remind me of Alan Greenspan who justified Bush's tax cuts with the
statement that we shouldn't pay off the national debt too quickly.
(Well, Bush has sure resolved this.)

We can all think of reasons not to lose weight in a motivating
fashion. This is one that is particularly toxic for many people

BTM -- Why not ask your doctor whether what I'm saying makes sense?

Curiously enough, my doctor, and other people such as physical
trainers, pointed advised me NOT to adopt your approach.

Queen, how much longer? When will the siege of ASD end?