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Adkins in bed with Tidybowl
"MoParMan" wrote in message news:... Fact: If you eat lots of pork rinds (PR) on the Adkins diet, your grump will float. If you don't, your grump will be very heavy and leave lots of grump stains (GS) in the toilet bowl as it whirls around and around and down the grump drain. I've noticed these stains seem harder and harder to clean as you progress in the diet. O' Course, after two weeks, your lucky as hell if you ever grump again and when you do, it'll probably crack the bowl and spill grumpage all over the bathroom floor. Yesterday after being on this diet for the 20th time in 5 years, I had to take a power grump at work after consuming about 10 bags of Hot-n-Spicy Pork Rinds and about 20 pounds of meat since my last grumpy movement. It was rather embarrassing as I occupied the grump room (GR) for about 30 minutes and then bought into this world a 25 pound floating grump masterpiece. My coworkers were about ready to call an ambulance from all the screaming coming from behind the closed door. My problems weren't over then, not only did I have to face my coworkers when departing the GR, I also had to flush the monument to Dr. Adkins memory down the drain and try to clean up said GS. I triple flushed the floater from hell, but no dice, the damn thing just would not go down. So, I said what the hell and left the GR with both fans running on high, the floater drifting from side to side in the grump throne (GT) and GS sticking to the sides of the commode like it was attached with superglue. I quickly gathered my stuff and headed out the front door to run a service call....... Does this diet ever get any easier? -- MoParMan----Remove Clothes to Reply... Scud Coordinates: Latitude: 32.61208 Degrees North Longitude: 96.92995 Degrees West Depth: 17.35 Inches |
#2
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Adkins in bed with Tidybowl
Got a good chuckle out of this!
Julia "MoParMan" wrote in message news:nQgOb.75557$5V2.89662@attbi_s53... "MoParMan" wrote in message news:... Fact: If you eat lots of pork rinds (PR) on the Adkins diet, your grump will float. If you don't, your grump will be very heavy and leave lots of grump stains (GS) in the toilet bowl as it whirls around and around and down the grump drain. I've noticed these stains seem harder and harder to clean as you progress in the diet. O' Course, after two weeks, your lucky as hell if you ever grump again and when you do, it'll probably crack the bowl and spill grumpage all over the bathroom floor. Yesterday after being on this diet for the 20th time in 5 years, I had to take a power grump at work after consuming about 10 bags of Hot-n-Spicy Pork Rinds and about 20 pounds of meat since my last grumpy movement. It was rather embarrassing as I occupied the grump room (GR) for about 30 minutes and then bought into this world a 25 pound floating grump masterpiece. My coworkers were about ready to call an ambulance from all the screaming coming from behind the closed door. My problems weren't over then, not only did I have to face my coworkers when departing the GR, I also had to flush the monument to Dr. Adkins memory down the drain and try to clean up said GS. I triple flushed the floater from hell, but no dice, the damn thing just would not go down. So, I said what the hell and left the GR with both fans running on high, the floater drifting from side to side in the grump throne (GT) and GS sticking to the sides of the commode like it was attached with superglue. I quickly gathered my stuff and headed out the front door to run a service call....... Does this diet ever get any easier? -- MoParMan----Remove Clothes to Reply... Scud Coordinates: Latitude: 32.61208 Degrees North Longitude: 96.92995 Degrees West Depth: 17.35 Inches |
#3
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Adkins in bed with Tidybowl
"Andrew in Alabama" wrote in message ... Damb, "MoParMan" do I have to 'splain EVERYTHING to your dumn ass??? Your from the south and you don't like hot pork rinds, you musta had some yanqui in your blood somewhere....Damn carpetbagger. I'm not that crazy about grits or biscuits, either. However, fried green tomatoes ROOL, and I have actually grown to like turnip/collard greens lately (they are attkins friendly, don't ya know.) Alot of the bar-b-q is pretty good here as well. Andrew I make a cheddar cheese grit dish that is really good. To bad grits aren't allowed on low carb diet either. I'm slobbering down my chin right now just at the mention of southern made biscuits, with real lard....Damn... -- MoParMan----Remove Clothes to Reply... Scud Coordinates: Latitude: 32.61208 Degrees North Longitude: 96.92995 Degrees West Depth: 17.35 Inches |
#4
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Adkins in bed with Tidybowl
It gets a lot easier once you know how to spell "Atkins."
"MoParMan" wrote in message news:bOwOb.93249$xy6.165660@attbi_s02... "Andrew in Alabama" wrote in message ... Damb, "MoParMan" do I have to 'splain EVERYTHING to your dumn ass??? Your from the south and you don't like hot pork rinds, you musta had some yanqui in your blood somewhere....Damn carpetbagger. I'm not that crazy about grits or biscuits, either. However, fried green tomatoes ROOL, and I have actually grown to like turnip/collard greens lately (they are attkins friendly, don't ya know.) Alot of the bar-b-q is pretty good here as well. Andrew I make a cheddar cheese grit dish that is really good. To bad grits aren't allowed on low carb diet either. I'm slobbering down my chin right now just at the mention of southern made biscuits, with real lard....Damn... -- MoParMan----Remove Clothes to Reply... Scud Coordinates: Latitude: 32.61208 Degrees North Longitude: 96.92995 Degrees West Depth: 17.35 Inches |
#5
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Adkins in bed with Tidybowl
"Bob" wrote in message news:tmEOb.95309$xy6.171550@attbi_s02... It gets a lot easier once you know how to spell "Atkins." It would be even funnier if you learned how to not top post. And it's even phuny that you tried to coreect any speiling on this noosegroop....****ing moron. -- MoParMan----Remove Clothes to Reply... Scud Coordinates: Latitude: 32.61208 Degrees North Longitude: 96.92995 Degrees West Depth: 17.35 Inches |
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