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nyny not too bad (OT - Joyce)
I write names in permanent marker on everything, doesn't much matter. Clothing
that I bring home to launder has others names in them. The radio was engraved with her name, has not reappeared. The staff does locate some items, but I am reasonably sure that I'm not the only person having the same problem. When we visit, mom always says she has just returned from running errands. I'm beginning to think I *know* what those errands are. G Joyce On Wed, 17 Dec 2003 12:20:21 GMT, "Lesanne" wrote: We used to sew labels into my great Aunts clothing. It helped some. "Joyce" wrote in message .. . Yup, I was thinking the same thing last week. I knew how to relate to the *other* mommy - this nice one is odd. She has also become very clingy, which I don't recall ever once seeing her. That's one nice thing about the nursing home, not really any room for a lot of *stuff* - so not much shopping to really do. We thought a radio would be nice, give her something to listen to and keep up with the news ... it has disappeared several times, this last time appears to be gone forever. But clothing she NEEDS. I had bought enough to go at least 2 weeks, figuring I wouldn't have to take laundry home and bust my butt to get it back the next day ... so she didn't have to go nekid. This weeks laundry I found many articles of other people, and virtually nothing left in her closet. I return what I find, but whoever is getting mom's isn't returning it. It is becoming very frustrating. I am wondering if a lot of *shopping* is going on in the nursing home ... you know, shopping in other people's closets? G Joyce On Tue, 16 Dec 2003 13:17:57 GMT, "Lesanne" wrote: Isn't it funny how we want the mean Mommy back . I guess it is scary to know they are not ever going to be the way we expect... I don't know. I just know when Ma got all "nice" and clingy it was very very scary for me. Mom loves to shop, gets all excited about new stuff, brings it home, plays with it for 10 minutes, then I find it in the large trash can in the garage. We don't buy a lot of stuff any more. "Joyce" wrote in message .. . On Thu, 04 Dec 2003 12:15:58 GMT, "Lesanne" wrote: "Joyce" wrote in message .. . The nasty area homes is really a shame. I have heard a lot of nightmare stories, had somewhat of an idea what to look for when trying to place mom (my sister is also a nurse). Guess we just got lucky, but did opt for a much older, smaller and established home that was within 2 blocks of where we grew up. Nursing staff turnover is very, very low ... which I also take as a good sign. I did look on some website at nursing home ratings, this one appeared (to me) to score very well. Again, just plain ol' dumb luck. ****This sounds like you have a wonderful place for your Mom. I think part of our problem is the culture here. Very "old mexico" in a way. This is both very very Good, and not so good. I am Expected to do what I am doing. The families take care of their own. The people in the nursing homes, either have no family to speak of, or are judged by a lot of people as having "bad" families. Well over 2/3 of the nurses in the nursing homes are from Canada or some other country. And hate it here. The other third are people who cannot get a job anywhere else in the country. Wow, makes me wonder why they stay here if they hate it so much. About half of the staff at mom's nursing home is from other countries, but they do appear to really love what they are doing - are extremely caring and gentle with the residents. I do think that people here still expect families to take care of their own though. I get a lot of judgemental looks whenever I have to tell someone that mom is in a home ... easy to judge when they aren't faced with the same issues. It isn't problem free though ... personal items and clothing seem to be constantly disappearing, which is becoming extremely frustrating. I bring mom's laundry home to do, usually end up with many articles of other residents .. and several pairs of pants I purchased a few weeks ago are gone already. sigh Probably is mom though, not having a clue which room is hers at the moment. I'm sorry your mom won't let you leave her sight, that has to be tough. It's not like we don't lay enough guilt on ourselves - sure don't need anyone else helping in that department. G Is the meanness just part of the disease? *****I take it with a grain of salt and go out anyway when I need to, but it is a consideration. I am going out tomorrow afternoon. She will do what she does (either act like, or genuinely get really confused). She will forget the whole thing by Saturday morning ! Meanness is supposed to be part of the disease, or at least profound personality changes. My Ma was always very sarcastic with me, and we never got along. She was "horrified" by my weight. My sister and she were both very tiny and petite. When Ma first began getting this, she became very afraid and was suddenly extremely "NICE" to me, which believe me, was icky. Now she is beginning to go back to mean, and frankly I am more comfortable with that. I can brave the restaurant trips, but still haven't attempted the shopping. Maybe after the holidays when things calm down, I know how much she misses shopping. Although ... she always tells me that she has just returned from running errands when I visit. g And boy can I relate to the personality changes! Mom was always kind of nasty mouthed when I was younger ... one of those that was never happy unless she was unhappy. Constantly complaining about something, one of us kids always on her sh** list. It wasn't fun, but at least we knew what to expect. At the moment she is really icky sweet and I'm having a tough time dealing with it. Some guilt trips are still being laid, but I really don't think they are conciously done now. I'm not sure which *mom* I prefer ... but I can recognize the *old* one easier. Joyce |
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