"Can you believe all these fat people?"

In another thread, JJ wrote:

"JJ" wrote in message news:hG%1c.465394$I06.5267624@attbi_s01...

Finally, one event that felt good and made me quite angry at
the same time; I was standing in line to purchase an item at
the store and a slender stranger next to me, as he observed
people walking through the store, said "can you believe all
these fat people." The statement was presented in quite a
derogatory fashion. On one hand it felt good to not be
considered one of the fat people, but at the same time I
know that I am one of these fat people. I never liked the
ridicule (or my perception of ridicule) when I was very
overweight, my tolerance for it now when I hear it directed
at others is zero.

What an experience that must have been. I imagine that formerly fat
people can become particularly sensitive to the biases that currently
fat people face. This gentleman (I use the term loosely) you
encountered in the shop regarded you as a co-conspirator because you
are not fat. It gives you a glimpse of how the "other side" lives. I
find that very compelling to think about. It's similar to what might
be faced by a person who listens uncomfortably to homophobic jokes
around the water cooler because nobody knows he's gay. There are
things that even civilized people will not say to someone's face but
will gladly say behind his back. JJ, you got a firsthand glimpse of
this phenomenon.

Luna submitted a thoughtful post a few weeks ago contemplating the
cognitive disconnect that occured as a result of the world accepting
her in the "thin person" club while she still thought of herself as a
fat person (though she clearly no longer is). I think JJ's experience
is related.

It is interesting to think about. I wonder how others will view me
when I am thin. I wonder how I will view myself. And I wonder how I
will view people who are (still) fat.

carla

carla wrote:
:: It is interesting to think about. I wonder how others will view me
:: when I am thin.

They'll see you as thin or at least not fat.

:: I wonder how I will view myself.

You'll see you as a fat person is a thin person's body. It won't seem
real....and you'll worry about waking up...

And I wonder how I
:: will view people who are (still) fat.

You'll see them as trapped (the really overweight people, anyway), not
knowing what to do about it...and it won't feel good.

Well, at least that's how it's working for me....maybe it'll change....

That happened to me the other day at the store too. A very heavy young
girl about 19 or so was buying several candy bars, and when she walked
away, the clerk looked at her, then looked at me, and said "that should
not be allowed" in a very hateful tone. I was too taken aback to even
respond. I just looked at him and said nothing, but it hurt me for the
girl, and I'm also amazed at how brazen people are becoming when making
comments about overweight people. It's like it's the new pastime or
something. Sad really. :-(
--
Cheri
Type 2, no meds for now.



"JJ" wrote in message
news:hG%1c.465394$I06.5267624@attbi_s01...

Finally, one event that felt good and made me quite angry at
the same time; I was standing in line to purchase an item at
the store and a slender stranger next to me, as he observed
people walking through the store, said "can you believe all
these fat people." The statement was presented in quite a
derogatory fashion. On one hand it felt good to not be
considered one of the fat people, but at the same time I
know that I am one of these fat people. I never liked the
ridicule (or my perception of ridicule) when I was very
overweight, my tolerance for it now when I hear it directed
at others is zero.

I see job discrimination all the time due to being fat.
I work as an independent contractor, so do a LOT of interviews.
Very often, the people interviewing me get a disgusted look when they first
see me, and I don't get the contract even though I impress the hell out of
them with my experience and knowledge. Often the contract is lost because
of that "first impression" of the fat, although well-dressed slob who "must
be" lazy and incompetent.

There is 100% as much job discrimination on basis of weight as there ever
was on race or sex, I am convinced of that.
Especially in Colorado, which has one of the lowest rates of obesity in the
U.S.

Mark.

"carla" wrote in message
m...
In another thread, JJ wrote:

"JJ" wrote in message
news:hG%1c.465394$I06.5267624@attbi_s01...

Finally, one event that felt good and made me quite angry at
the same time; I was standing in line to purchase an item at
the store and a slender stranger next to me, as he observed
people walking through the store, said "can you believe all
these fat people." The statement was presented in quite a
derogatory fashion. On one hand it felt good to not be
considered one of the fat people, but at the same time I
know that I am one of these fat people. I never liked the
ridicule (or my perception of ridicule) when I was very
overweight, my tolerance for it now when I hear it directed
at others is zero.

What an experience that must have been. I imagine that formerly fat
people can become particularly sensitive to the biases that currently
fat people face. This gentleman (I use the term loosely) you
encountered in the shop regarded you as a co-conspirator because you
are not fat. It gives you a glimpse of how the "other side" lives. I
find that very compelling to think about. It's similar to what might
be faced by a person who listens uncomfortably to homophobic jokes
around the water cooler because nobody knows he's gay. There are
things that even civilized people will not say to someone's face but
will gladly say behind his back. JJ, you got a firsthand glimpse of
this phenomenon.

Luna submitted a thoughtful post a few weeks ago contemplating the
cognitive disconnect that occured as a result of the world accepting
her in the "thin person" club while she still thought of herself as a
fat person (though she clearly no longer is). I think JJ's experience
is related.

It is interesting to think about. I wonder how others will view me
when I am thin. I wonder how I will view myself. And I wonder how I
will view people who are (still) fat.

carla

"Roger Zoul" wrote in message
...
carla wrote:
:: It is interesting to think about. I wonder how others will view me
:: when I am thin.

They'll see you as thin or at least not fat.

:: I wonder how I will view myself.

You'll see you as a fat person is a thin person's body. It won't seem
real....and you'll worry about waking up...

And I wonder how I
:: will view people who are (still) fat.

You'll see them as trapped (the really overweight people, anyway), not
knowing what to do about it...and it won't feel good.

Well, at least that's how it's working for me....maybe it'll change....

You just described it perfectly, Roger.

Well, I can speak from experience there's another side of that coin. As
a "thin" person (low carbing) in an office of predominantly overweight people,
my diet was ridiculed, I was told I wasn't eating enough, why can't I have a
donut, etc. etc. and my diet was mocked. And yes, I have heard the same
mocking comments made by thin people regarding overweight people so I know it
goes both ways. And no, I did not parade around rejoicing in my "thiness" ---
my diet was simply not accepted and my simple response became "you eat what you
want to eat and I'll eat what I want to eat".

Andrea

I'm also amazed at how brazen people are becoming when making
comments about overweight people. It's like it's the new pastime or
something. Sad really. :-(
--
Cheri

It's not new. Sizeism (fat discrimination) has been around for a very long
time. It's just gotten uglier.

Yvonne

"Marcusj" wrote in message
...
I see job discrimination all the time due to being fat.
I work as an independent contractor, so do a LOT of interviews.
Very often, the people interviewing me get a disgusted look when they
first
see me, and I don't get the contract even though I impress the hell out of
them with my experience and knowledge. Often the contract is lost because
of that "first impression" of the fat, although well-dressed slob who
"must
be" lazy and incompetent.

There is 100% as much job discrimination on basis of weight as there ever
was on race or sex, I am convinced of that.
Especially in Colorado, which has one of the lowest rates of obesity in
the
U.S.

Mark.


Mark et. al.,

I'm new to this group, having just started this new lifestyle. I began the
South Beach Diet on Monday and have lost 7 lbs so far in the past 5 days.
Hooray for me!!!

I chose this thread to get in on, because it (weight discrimination) has
happened to me. I was in the restaurant business for several years, and at
one time was between jobs due to a restaurant closing. I went to a new
restaurant opening up and applied for a job. I spoke the first day with the
owner, a very nice gentleman who visited with me, and after hearing my
credentials told me: "I think you will be a benefit to our team. I'm not
doing the hiring myself, however. I'll have a team in next week who will do
the interviews and hiring for me. Be sure you get your application and
resume in by Monday." ... which I did. I got called in for the interview
right away.... Me, the 35 year old, short, heavy female... in a room full of
19 and 20-something kids with firm butts and ponytails and no previous work
experience looking for a job. Never mind that my restaurant training and
experience was far above the others in the group (based on their ages if
nothing else). When I was called in for the one-on-one interview, the
interviewer, a never-been-fat-a-day-in-her-life woman never even looked at
my resume or application - just my name on the outside of the folder. She
took one look at me, frowned, and asked me exactly two questions: 1. How
long have you lived in El Dorado? (which she would have known had she read
my resume); and 2. Do you find it a nice place to live? Whereupon she then
proceded to give me the company spiel about not hiring everyone who applies,
and taking a few days getting through the hiring process, and said she'd
notify me one way or the other by the end of the week. I never heard from
them. When I called the next week, I was told by someone else whose job it
obviously was to field these kinds of calls, that I "didn't fit the company
profile." Meaning I was fat. Never mind the fact that I'd worked in that
SAME building for the previous restaurant owner before she retired and sold
her business. Anyway, I've rambled on about this, but it struck a nerve with
me. I will tell you that I got another job almost immediately. How I got
that one is another weight-related story, but at least it had a happy
ending.

I believe weight discrimination sucks. It is no less vile than any other
form of discrimination. And when I get thin and fit, I WILL call down anyone
I hear making derogatory comments about large people. The fact that we are
fat does not negate the good things we are. It's just something each person
must deal with on their own. We in this group have chosen to deal with it by
fixing it. That does not mean we should be disrespectful to others who
aren't on the same path. Had I heard the comment heard by the OP, I swear
I'd have told him that what "shouldn't be allowed" are rude comments by
ignorant people. But then, I wouldn't have heard it, because he wouldn't
have said it to me. I'm still fat. But I'm getting there.

Jean
Intelligent in Arkansas
182/175/140 5'3", 38 years old

I have not had a cigarette in Eleven months, 19 hours, 42 minutes and 26
seconds.
That's 6716 cigarettes not smoked, saving $685.07. But who's counting?

Hi,
On 5-Mar-2004, yteme (Cailleachschilde)
wrote:

I'm also amazed at how brazen people are becoming when making
comments about overweight people. It's like it's the new pastime or
something. Sad really. :-(
--
Cheri

It's not new. Sizeism (fat discrimination) has been around for a
very long time. It's just gotten uglier.

Losing the weight also makes you visibly "safe" to venture nasty
comments to concerning overweight people from people who don't know
you were ever overweight yourself. That's a secret club handshake I
don't want to learn.

Take care,
Carmen

In article ,
says...


It is interesting to think about. I wonder how others will view me
when I am thin. I wonder how I will view myself. And I wonder how I
will view people who are (still) fat.

carla


What I find interesting is this:

When I am fat, I am invisible. Men don't look at me on the street. If
they do notice me, they frown and look away. When I walk up to the
counter in a store I have to work very hard to get the clerk's
attention.

When I lose weight, people notice me more, pay more attention to me.
Men look at me on the street, sometimes smiling at me, saying "Hello,"
although I don't know them. When I go into a store, the clerk smiles
and asks "Can I help you?"

Isn't that a paradox? The larger I am, the harder it is for people to
see me. You would think it would be the other way around!


--
************************************
Linda Harms
New York, NY

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Macbeth, Act 5 Scene 5