Bad night....guilted into eating

Hey all...

I've been on Atkins about 3 weeks now....doing pretty well with a few minor
mishaps. I've been "perfect" for the past 3 days though, and WAS back in
ketosis. Until tonight. My folks invited us over for dinner, and my mom
knows my wife and I are low-carbing. She served Chicken and Biscuits,
home-made brownie sundaes, and chocolate chip cookies. I first tried to
tell her I couldn't eat that stuff, but she pulled out the old "I went to
all this work, you won't even eat for your mom?" Yes, I knew I shouldn't
fall for it, but I ate it just to avoid conflict.

I feel like a frickin' balloon now....anxious to drink a few gallons of
water tomorrow to purge my system.

232-218-175 10/19/03

BigD said:

I feel like a frickin' balloon now....anxious to drink a few gallons
of water tomorrow to purge my system.

Go on strict induction for about three days (72 hours). That'll undo most if
not all of any damage that may have been done.

--
Bob
Kanyak's Doghouse
http://kanyak.com

In article qJFqb.2667$Cj1.2595@fed1read07, "BigD"
wrote:

Hey all...

I've been on Atkins about 3 weeks now....doing pretty well with a few minor
mishaps. I've been "perfect" for the past 3 days though, and WAS back in
ketosis. Until tonight. My folks invited us over for dinner, and my mom
knows my wife and I are low-carbing. She served Chicken and Biscuits,
home-made brownie sundaes, and chocolate chip cookies. I first tried to
tell her I couldn't eat that stuff, but she pulled out the old "I went to
all this work, you won't even eat for your mom?" Yes, I knew I shouldn't
fall for it, but I ate it just to avoid conflict.

I feel like a frickin' balloon now....anxious to drink a few gallons of
water tomorrow to purge my system.

232-218-175 10/19/03



OK....it happened....you're done....move on.

Now...NEVER DO THAT AGAIN....the ONLY person who should control your
eating is YOU. There is nothing so sacred about any type of food that it
should affect relationships.

The correct answer was, "Mom, I appreciate how hard you worked and
everything looks great, but *I* am working even harder to finally and
forever lose this weight, and I just CAN'T eat this type of food. I'll
get myself something while you're getting the meal ready."

Your Mom made it, but YOU chose to eat it. You can always choose to eat
it.

Good luck.

--
Wayne Crannell
Atkins+ 10/27/01
250/139

This happened to me with my MIL too (DH also on Atkins). Beef was great, but
loads of gravy, yorkshire pudding, creamed corn (sugar added), lima beans,
potatoes, and ice cream for dessert. I was 4 weeks into Atkins, and yes I was
guilted into eating too. Now when we go to in-laws for dinner, I politely
refuse to put any high carb on my plate, even though it gets passed back to me
3-4 times to make sure I haven't changed my mind. I know MIL does not approve
of LC, but this is my body and my health. BTW, DH still eats at least a little
of everything his mom serves him. But he has smaller and smaller helpings of
the high carb/high sugar stuff, and passes on dessert. I know it is hard when
it's your mother. And she's close to 90, he doesn't want to hurt her feelings.

When they come here, I serve the most pretty, tasty, balanced LC meals I can.
Including dessert! When it's all over, I let DH know what the carb count was -
usually under 30 -- right at the table. I want MIL to see that LC is *normal*
and *good* food.

Do what you can, and get back to LC afterward. Hang in there.

Deb Van
175/156/130

"BigD" wrote:

I've been on Atkins about 3 weeks now....doing pretty well with a few minor
mishaps. I've been "perfect" for the past 3 days though, and WAS back in
ketosis. Until tonight. My folks invited us over for dinner, and my mom
knows my wife and I are low-carbing. She served Chicken and Biscuits,
home-made brownie sundaes, and chocolate chip cookies. I first tried to
tell her I couldn't eat that stuff, but she pulled out the old "I went to
all this work, you won't even eat for your mom?" Yes, I knew I shouldn't
fall for it, but I ate it just to avoid conflict.

I feel like a frickin' balloon now....anxious to drink a few gallons of
water tomorrow to purge my system.

I second Wayne's comments. His suggestions to use "I" are important ...
it's not your mother's issue, it's your issue, and it keeps you out of
the guilt-blame game.

Jolene

Wayne Crannell wrote:

The correct answer was, "Mom, I appreciate how hard you worked and
everything looks great, but *I* am working even harder to finally and
forever lose this weight, and I just CAN'T eat this type of food. I'll
get myself something while you're getting the meal ready."

Your Mom made it, but YOU chose to eat it. You can always choose to eat
it.

Wayne Crannell wrote:

Your Mom made it, but YOU chose to eat it.

Now just how much do you want to deal with the issue and how much do
you want to sweep it under the carpet. Your Mom played guilt games
on you. Doesn't every action have an equal and opposite reaction?

So go get a thank you card. Fill it out. In the spot where you
can write your own message write "Thanks for the sabotage. One
good guilt trip deserves another." Don't actually send the card or
it will trigger a family explosion. But go through all of the
motions of writing it and looking at it. It will help you feel
better about the situation.

Or depending on how your Mom learns from experience ...

BigD at nattered about ....

all this work, you won't even eat for your mom?" Yes, I knew I shouldn't
fall for it, but I ate it just to avoid conflict.

I know what it's like to deal with someone that is in charge of the cooking
so to speak ..

I don't suppose handing her the atkins book would help would it? Have you
tried telling her how the carbs make you physically feel? Being a mom, she
wouldn't want you to feel that way ..

Jump on the induction track - you'll do fine .. This is just one of those
things that happen .. And they happen :S

--
Kitty =^..^=
1 oz nuts MAX .. NO MORE KITTY!!!!!
168/160/130 * November Goal 155
September 17 2003

Why did you accept the invitation in the first place? You must have known
what would happen.

--
JC

Lyle's New Ultimate Diet

"1. eat less you fat ****
2. exercise more you fat ****"

"BigD" wrote in message
news:qJFqb.2667$Cj1.2595@fed1read07...
Hey all...

I've been on Atkins about 3 weeks now....doing pretty well with a few
minor
mishaps. I've been "perfect" for the past 3 days though, and WAS back in
ketosis. Until tonight. My folks invited us over for dinner, and my mom
knows my wife and I are low-carbing. She served Chicken and Biscuits,
home-made brownie sundaes, and chocolate chip cookies. I first tried to
tell her I couldn't eat that stuff, but she pulled out the old "I went to
all this work, you won't even eat for your mom?" Yes, I knew I shouldn't
fall for it, but I ate it just to avoid conflict.

I feel like a frickin' balloon now....anxious to drink a few gallons of
water tomorrow to purge my system.

232-218-175 10/19/03

I accept as many invitations from my Dear MIL as I can, because I dearly love
her and enjoy spending time with her. And in my case, I know that our time
with her is running out. These situations need to be handled with care, both
literally and figuratively. No way will I "tell her off" (as some suggested)
or refuse invitations. I simply eat now the way I need to at her house, and
let her know with warmth and appreciation that I'm trying to take care of
myself by making the food choices I do. There's no need to snap at another
person who is, from her point of view, only trying to take care of me the as
best she can.

BTW, how's it going, BigD?

Debbie

JC Der Koenig wrote:

Why did you accept the invitation in the first place? You must have known
what would happen.

--
JC

Rationalizing the situation is how you got fat in the first place.

--
JC

Lyle's New Ultimate Diet

"1. eat less you fat ****
2. exercise more you fat ****"

"Van den Beemt" wrote in message
...
I accept as many invitations from my Dear MIL as I can, because I dearly
love
her and enjoy spending time with her. And in my case, I know that our
time
with her is running out. These situations need to be handled with care,
both
literally and figuratively. No way will I "tell her off" (as some
suggested)
or refuse invitations. I simply eat now the way I need to at her house,
and
let her know with warmth and appreciation that I'm trying to take care of
myself by making the food choices I do. There's no need to snap at
another
person who is, from her point of view, only trying to take care of me the
as
best she can.

BTW, how's it going, BigD?

Debbie

JC Der Koenig wrote:

Why did you accept the invitation in the first place? You must have
known
what would happen.

--
JC