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Hubby (RAGNAR) Dies After Seeing Fat Wife (SALLY) In Thong Undies
[This message has been crossposted]
--- Hubby (RAGNAR) Dies After Seeing Fat Wife (SALLY) In Thong Undies By Ned Nearson Super-Size ugly duckling "Sally S" stopped her husband's heart and killed him dead" when she surprised him in a pair of skimpy thong undies, say cops. "The sight of the blubbery babe with her bulging buttocks and cottage cheese thighs was so overwhelmingly horrible - Ragnar's heart literally exploded," says a coroner source. Now, the 38-year-old, 330-lb. woman is being held without bond on suspicion of murder in the L.A. County Jail. "Don't tell me she didn't realize what a repulsive and terrifying sight she was," says Detective Robert Cannon. "And she knew that her husband Ragnar suffered from a heart condition. "As far as I'm concerned, this was a cleverly planned, premeditated murder." Cannon says Ragnar's corpse had a look of terror frozen on its face. "She might just as well have shot him -- the spectacle was that devastating," Cannon told reporters in Los Angeles. "When we arrived at the scene after she called 911, the victim was flat on his back on the floor in their living room with his eyes bugged out like golf balls. "Clearly he had seen something that no man was meant to see. "And when we heard his wife sobbing in the kitchen and walked in to investigate, we knew what that 'something' was. Good God -- I thought my wife's sister was bad. "I just about lost my lunch when I saw that blubbery butt and cottage cheese thighs. "I said, 'Ma'am, I know this is a difficult time for you, but I've got to ask you to put on some clothes.' She waddled into her bedroom and covered herself up with a terry cloth bathrobe. "She said, 'I wanted to do something special for our eighth wedding anniversary. I wanted to be sexy for him in my new thong.' " A coroner confirmed that Ragnar, 33, , 300lbs, who had a history of heart disease, "suffered cardiac arrest resulting from the visual shock of seeing his wife in thong panties." Sally admits that she "may have come on a little strong" by bouncing out of their bedroom dressed in the panties and one of his white, button- down shirts, when he walked in the door after work. "We haven't had sex since I gained all that weight after our wedding night," she sobbed to a detective. "I wanted to make him happy." Friends of the dead man say sex with his wife was the last thing Ragnar had on his mind. "He told me that she was pretty hot before they got married," says one pal who asked that his name not be used. "But once she got a ring on her finger, all she wanted to do was stuff her face. "Not only did she pork up like a hippo, all of her teeth fell out. She's got one of those mustaches that middle-aged women in their 40s get, too -- and she's only 29." Sally, who insists the death was an accident, says she video-taped her "surprise" so she and Ragnar could relive the magical moment. But cops believe she knew what she was doing and call it "a calculated, coldblooded killing." |
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