Perfectionism

This week the topic was about being a perfectionism and how it leads to a
"All or Nothing" mentality and negative self talk.

I connect to that topic.. I am very hard on myself and hit myself hard when
I step aside only a little..

My new thing is to ask myself "What would you tell a member who's in the
same situation/ feels the same way?" It works kinda.. but still..

Why do we judge ourselves so harshly when we would NEVER say the same thing
to a friend?

Isn't that weird?

How do you get over the "I gotta do this perfectly, if not it's not worth
it" mentality?

Will~

I totally don't understand that mentality anymore...

I have found that the slightest criticism from my ex sent me over the edge
sometimes... apparently now my friends all say the only time I ever talk
about negative things has been after I've spent time with him... heh... he
is a good guy... but we are not compatible...

so, being hard on oneself... I've learned to not do it... otherwise I would
want to toss cookies, and get myself into worse conditions...

keep telling yourself "you are sooooo awesome' and say it several times a
day...

eventually you will believe it if you don't already... *G*... I'm awesome...
and I totally rock...

let that voice you've been depriving yourself of talking actually speak!!!!!

any negative voices really aren't yours, they belong to outside sources,
society, family, non friends, etc...

negativity ONLY comes about because you are doing a comparison with
something... and usually that something is only a concept...

clean your house because you like the feeling of the house being clean...
not because your mother in law thinks you should have it clean... or its a
society 'norm' that will frown upon you if you have a speck out of place...
make sense? I think too much sometimes...

being accepting of things, makes negativity less important in your life...
so accept yourself... or I'll mentally slap your fingers... hee *didja get
that social pressure I did there?*

Carrie da weird lady


"Willow Herself" wrote in
message t...
This week the topic was about being a perfectionism and how it leads to a
"All or Nothing" mentality and negative self talk.

I connect to that topic.. I am very hard on myself and hit myself hard
when
I step aside only a little..

My new thing is to ask myself "What would you tell a member who's in the
same situation/ feels the same way?" It works kinda.. but still..

Why do we judge ourselves so harshly when we would NEVER say the same
thing
to a friend?

Isn't that weird?

How do you get over the "I gotta do this perfectly, if not it's not worth
it" mentality?

Will~

I so agree...Funny...I have been reading a small book based on some Buddhist
philosophies...Anyway it talks of learning to not hate ourselves for what we
perceive to be negative but to accept who we are for what we are...That is
why you are you...I'm sure I'm not doing as well as the author but you are
Willow in part because of how you judge yourself...I also berate myself for
going astray...I do allow for those moments when some special occasion
occurs and yet when I overindulge at night or drink more than I should I
feel like I betrayed myself and my goals...I think many of us would do to
ourselves what we would never do to others but that's what makes us us...I
know you only through this and another newsgroup Willow but from reading
your posts I find a strong determined person with strong opinions and no
fear of presenting them...I don't think that change is in order as long as
you can live with your moments of perfectionism...As always enjoy the
journey...GG
"Willow Herself" wrote in
message t...
This week the topic was about being a perfectionism and how it leads to a
"All or Nothing" mentality and negative self talk.

I connect to that topic.. I am very hard on myself and hit myself hard
when I step aside only a little..

My new thing is to ask myself "What would you tell a member who's in the
same situation/ feels the same way?" It works kinda.. but still..

Why do we judge ourselves so harshly when we would NEVER say the same
thing to a friend?

Isn't that weird?

How do you get over the "I gotta do this perfectly, if not it's not worth
it" mentality?

Will~

I see it in myself, I also see it in my members a lot..

It is frustrating..

Last year or the year before, for Valentine's Day I had the members write on
a piece of paper a positive statement. Then we put them all in a bag and
picked one..

The one I got was "Wow, What a babe!"

I still have it on my bathroom mirror to this day!

It's in the small things..
Will~
"Gary G" wrote in message
...
I so agree...Funny...I have been reading a small book based on some
Buddhist philosophies...Anyway it talks of learning to not hate ourselves
for what we perceive to be negative but to accept who we are for what we
are...That is why you are you...I'm sure I'm not doing as well as the
author but you are Willow in part because of how you judge yourself...I
also berate myself for going astray...I do allow for those moments when
some special occasion occurs and yet when I overindulge at night or drink
more than I should I feel like I betrayed myself and my goals...I think
many of us would do to ourselves what we would never do to others but
that's what makes us us...I know you only through this and another
newsgroup Willow but from reading your posts I find a strong determined
person with strong opinions and no fear of presenting them...I don't think
that change is in order as long as you can live with your moments of
perfectionism...As always enjoy the journey...GG
"Willow Herself" wrote in
message t...
This week the topic was about being a perfectionism and how it leads to a
"All or Nothing" mentality and negative self talk.

I connect to that topic.. I am very hard on myself and hit myself hard
when I step aside only a little..

My new thing is to ask myself "What would you tell a member who's in the
same situation/ feels the same way?" It works kinda.. but still..

Why do we judge ourselves so harshly when we would NEVER say the same
thing to a friend?

Isn't that weird?

How do you get over the "I gotta do this perfectly, if not it's not worth
it" mentality?

Will~

for once I actually have a good answer for you...

OLD THINKING: I didn't eat right or journal or do some other small thing
perfectly so I am OFF the diet so I may as well forget it...

NEW Thinking: I am still doing this perfectly have been for 4 years... I
changed my definition of perfect... for a while it was keeping the journal
every day, then it was trying a new food every week, now perfection is
learning why I lost/gained when it isn't what I expected...

Lee

Willow Herself wrote in message
t...
This week the topic was about being a perfectionism and how it leads to a
"All or Nothing" mentality and negative self talk.

I connect to that topic.. I am very hard on myself and hit myself hard
when
I step aside only a little..

My new thing is to ask myself "What would you tell a member who's in the
same situation/ feels the same way?" It works kinda.. but still..

Why do we judge ourselves so harshly when we would NEVER say the same
thing
to a friend?

Isn't that weird?

How do you get over the "I gotta do this perfectly, if not it's not worth
it" mentality?

Will~

*grin* I like that !!!

Still perfect, just a different kind of perfect!!!

AH !

Will~

"Stormmee" wrote in message
...
for once I actually have a good answer for you...

OLD THINKING: I didn't eat right or journal or do some other small thing
perfectly so I am OFF the diet so I may as well forget it...

NEW Thinking: I am still doing this perfectly have been for 4 years... I
changed my definition of perfect... for a while it was keeping the journal
every day, then it was trying a new food every week, now perfection is
learning why I lost/gained when it isn't what I expected...

Lee

Willow Herself wrote in
message
t...
This week the topic was about being a perfectionism and how it leads to a
"All or Nothing" mentality and negative self talk.

I connect to that topic.. I am very hard on myself and hit myself hard
when
I step aside only a little..

My new thing is to ask myself "What would you tell a member who's in the
same situation/ feels the same way?" It works kinda.. but still..

Why do we judge ourselves so harshly when we would NEVER say the same
thing
to a friend?

Isn't that weird?

How do you get over the "I gotta do this perfectly, if not it's not worth
it" mentality?

Will~

it sure does take the stress off and also allows me to be the personality
type I am without hurting myself, Lee
Willow Herself wrote in message
. ..
*grin* I like that !!!

Still perfect, just a different kind of perfect!!!

AH !

Will~

"Stormmee" wrote in message
...
for once I actually have a good answer for you...

OLD THINKING: I didn't eat right or journal or do some other small
thing
perfectly so I am OFF the diet so I may as well forget it...

NEW Thinking: I am still doing this perfectly have been for 4 years...
I
changed my definition of perfect... for a while it was keeping the
journal
every day, then it was trying a new food every week, now perfection is
learning why I lost/gained when it isn't what I expected...

Lee

Willow Herself wrote in
message
t...
This week the topic was about being a perfectionism and how it leads to
a
"All or Nothing" mentality and negative self talk.

I connect to that topic.. I am very hard on myself and hit myself hard
when
I step aside only a little..

My new thing is to ask myself "What would you tell a member who's in
the
same situation/ feels the same way?" It works kinda.. but still..

Why do we judge ourselves so harshly when we would NEVER say the same
thing
to a friend?

Isn't that weird?

How do you get over the "I gotta do this perfectly, if not it's not
worth
it" mentality?

Will~