new pics. been a long time.

I took a new pic today. nothing fancy, just basically my
everyday-around-the-house look. I am draining the pool (still) . I
definitely need to get back to exercising. Trenton starts school next
Wednesday, so for the first time in 4 yrs, I will have 2.5 hrs MWF to myself
and it's too far to drive home while he is in school so I will be working
out. (and shopping

--
Lori
220/150/144
LC since 1/17/03
Devoted wife of Curtis, Stage 4 Prostate cancer at age 40
http://community.webshots.com/user/lorismiller

I took a new pic today. nothing fancy, just basically my
everyday-around-the-house look. I am draining the pool (still) . I
definitely need to get back to exercising. Trenton starts school next
Wednesday, so for the first time in 4 yrs, I will have 2.5 hrs MWF to myself
and it's too far to drive home while he is in school so I will be working
out. (and shopping

--
Lori:
It is so nice to see others and their progress. I am not brave enough yet to do
that. I will someday.

I look similair to you, when home and nothing to do. Just around the house
clothes. LOL. Really. Soon as I got home earlier, I got in my tshirt and
shorts. Head to the sink, to wash dishes. Or throw in a load of laundry. Or
curl up with a good book. with "Keep out unless you are bleeding" sign.

You are looking marvelous!! Way to go!

I remember the days when the last child started preschool. I got time alone for
awhile. You kick your feet up, enjoy the alone time girl! Or hey go to the
gym.


Lori
220/150/144
LC since 1/17/03
Devoted wife of Curtis, Stage 4 Prostate cancer at age 40
http://community.webshots.com/user/lorismiller




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Atkins since 1/17/04
CCLL 40
267/185/135
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As you free yourself from the past, your energy becomes available for the
present.

I took a new pic today. nothing fancy, just basically my
everyday-around-the-house look. I am draining the pool (still) . I
definitely need to get back to exercising. Trenton starts school next
Wednesday, so for the first time in 4 yrs, I will have 2.5 hrs MWF to myself
and it's too far to drive home while he is in school so I will be working
out. (and shopping

--
Lori:
It is so nice to see others and their progress. I am not brave enough yet to do
that. I will someday.

I look similair to you, when home and nothing to do. Just around the house
clothes. LOL. Really. Soon as I got home earlier, I got in my tshirt and
shorts. Head to the sink, to wash dishes. Or throw in a load of laundry. Or
curl up with a good book. with "Keep out unless you are bleeding" sign.

You are looking marvelous!! Way to go!

I remember the days when the last child started preschool. I got time alone for
awhile. You kick your feet up, enjoy the alone time girl! Or hey go to the
gym.


Lori
220/150/144
LC since 1/17/03
Devoted wife of Curtis, Stage 4 Prostate cancer at age 40
http://community.webshots.com/user/lorismiller




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Atkins since 1/17/04
CCLL 40
267/185/135
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As you free yourself from the past, your energy becomes available for the
present.

"Sunshyne" wrote in message
...
I took a new pic today. nothing fancy, just basically my
everyday-around-the-house look. I am draining the pool (still) . I
definitely need to get back to exercising. Trenton starts school next
Wednesday, so for the first time in 4 yrs, I will have 2.5 hrs MWF to
myself
and it's too far to drive home while he is in school so I will be working
out. (and shopping

--
Lori:
It is so nice to see others and their progress. I am not brave enough yet
to do
that. I will someday.

I look similair to you, when home and nothing to do. Just around the house
clothes. LOL. Really. Soon as I got home earlier, I got in my tshirt
and
shorts. Head to the sink, to wash dishes. Or throw in a load of laundry.
Or
curl up with a good book. with "Keep out unless you are bleeding" sign.


You are looking marvelous!! Way to go!

I remember the days when the last child started preschool. I got time
alone for
awhile. You kick your feet up, enjoy the alone time girl! Or hey go to
the
gym.


Lori
220/150/144
LC since 1/17/03
Devoted wife of Curtis, Stage 4 Prostate cancer at age 40
http://community.webshots.com/user/lorismiller




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Atkins since 1/17/04
CCLL 40
267/185/135
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As you free yourself from the past, your energy becomes available for the
present.


Thanks, DH curt just had a bad night tonight/ he has been working too hard
and getting too tired and he way crabby tonight.
A bunch of our friends go together tonight to support the whole tony dying
and my husband (who is dying faster every day) didn't want to go because it
reminded him that someday they will be gathering about him. so he's sleeping
now and I am contemplating the next inevitable chapter of my life. In a few
ways, it is enticing to have ANOTHER chance to do it over again. I've gotten
it more together each time I have to start over. I'm pretty sick of that
tho. this will be the 6th time. my husband is the 5th.
16-20 Tim (engaged Graduation day 18-20)
25-27 Ronnie (committed suicide when our son was 10 months and I had just
miscarried our second)
27-28 Dave (too damaged tho he didn't even know it. great guy, even proposed
after he found out about Todd but I wanted to have some FUN)
OVERLAP
28-30 Todd, Hot motorcycle and $10,000 settlement installment in the bank.
Need I say more? Dave could't/wouldn't commit until he found out about
Todd - I did warn him as my friendship with Todd progessed. we had some
college classes together)
30-32 NO MEN ALLOWED unless on a friends only basis. fun times.I grew up in
a small town in Minnesota. 60% farmers, 20% lake people and 20% town people.
66 in my graduating class. so we all know each other. I always got along
great with the guys, just ask them. the wives were too gossipy for me. and
boring.
33-39 ( next month) with my Curtis aka Curty Berty. how stupid but it just
pops out sometimes. Life is so weird. when people ask me what all this (and
more) have done to me, I just tell them that I've learned that we dont' know
what people are dealing with in their daily lives so when we run in to them
in a coincidental encounter, we shouldn't judge them by the glimpse of their
lives we get in a split second meeting and form a judgement about them
because we have no clue of what they are dealing with on a personal level.
It could be that they found out that the Love of Their Life, their
wonderful husband is dying from inoperable, incurable, and barely treatable
cancer that belongs with men who are twice his age!! and his business is
doing great, and he has a son!!! and a 'son" who he is so proud of . and he
just feels weaker as each month passes but he can't admit it and he is
starting to get a little demanding of my time. at least he did tonite for
the first time that I know of.
I still handle all of this better since losing 65 lbs on LC.


--
Lori
220/155/144
LC since 1/17/03
Devoted wife of Curtis, Stage 4 Prostate cancer at age 40
http://community.webshots.com/user/lorismiller

"Sunshyne" wrote in message
...
I took a new pic today. nothing fancy, just basically my
everyday-around-the-house look. I am draining the pool (still) . I
definitely need to get back to exercising. Trenton starts school next
Wednesday, so for the first time in 4 yrs, I will have 2.5 hrs MWF to
myself
and it's too far to drive home while he is in school so I will be working
out. (and shopping

--
Lori:
It is so nice to see others and their progress. I am not brave enough yet
to do
that. I will someday.

I look similair to you, when home and nothing to do. Just around the house
clothes. LOL. Really. Soon as I got home earlier, I got in my tshirt
and
shorts. Head to the sink, to wash dishes. Or throw in a load of laundry.
Or
curl up with a good book. with "Keep out unless you are bleeding" sign.


You are looking marvelous!! Way to go!

I remember the days when the last child started preschool. I got time
alone for
awhile. You kick your feet up, enjoy the alone time girl! Or hey go to
the
gym.


Lori
220/150/144
LC since 1/17/03
Devoted wife of Curtis, Stage 4 Prostate cancer at age 40
http://community.webshots.com/user/lorismiller




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Atkins since 1/17/04
CCLL 40
267/185/135
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As you free yourself from the past, your energy becomes available for the
present.


Thanks, DH curt just had a bad night tonight/ he has been working too hard
and getting too tired and he way crabby tonight.
A bunch of our friends go together tonight to support the whole tony dying
and my husband (who is dying faster every day) didn't want to go because it
reminded him that someday they will be gathering about him. so he's sleeping
now and I am contemplating the next inevitable chapter of my life. In a few
ways, it is enticing to have ANOTHER chance to do it over again. I've gotten
it more together each time I have to start over. I'm pretty sick of that
tho. this will be the 6th time. my husband is the 5th.
16-20 Tim (engaged Graduation day 18-20)
25-27 Ronnie (committed suicide when our son was 10 months and I had just
miscarried our second)
27-28 Dave (too damaged tho he didn't even know it. great guy, even proposed
after he found out about Todd but I wanted to have some FUN)
OVERLAP
28-30 Todd, Hot motorcycle and $10,000 settlement installment in the bank.
Need I say more? Dave could't/wouldn't commit until he found out about
Todd - I did warn him as my friendship with Todd progessed. we had some
college classes together)
30-32 NO MEN ALLOWED unless on a friends only basis. fun times.I grew up in
a small town in Minnesota. 60% farmers, 20% lake people and 20% town people.
66 in my graduating class. so we all know each other. I always got along
great with the guys, just ask them. the wives were too gossipy for me. and
boring.
33-39 ( next month) with my Curtis aka Curty Berty. how stupid but it just
pops out sometimes. Life is so weird. when people ask me what all this (and
more) have done to me, I just tell them that I've learned that we dont' know
what people are dealing with in their daily lives so when we run in to them
in a coincidental encounter, we shouldn't judge them by the glimpse of their
lives we get in a split second meeting and form a judgement about them
because we have no clue of what they are dealing with on a personal level.
It could be that they found out that the Love of Their Life, their
wonderful husband is dying from inoperable, incurable, and barely treatable
cancer that belongs with men who are twice his age!! and his business is
doing great, and he has a son!!! and a 'son" who he is so proud of . and he
just feels weaker as each month passes but he can't admit it and he is
starting to get a little demanding of my time. at least he did tonite for
the first time that I know of.
I still handle all of this better since losing 65 lbs on LC.


--
Lori
220/155/144
LC since 1/17/03
Devoted wife of Curtis, Stage 4 Prostate cancer at age 40
http://community.webshots.com/user/lorismiller

"Sunshyne" wrote in message
...
I took a new pic today. nothing fancy, just basically my
everyday-around-the-house look. I am draining the pool (still) . I
definitely need to get back to exercising. Trenton starts school next
Wednesday, so for the first time in 4 yrs, I will have 2.5 hrs MWF to
myself
and it's too far to drive home while he is in school so I will be working
out. (and shopping

--
Lori:
It is so nice to see others and their progress. I am not brave enough yet
to do
that. I will someday.

I look similair to you, when home and nothing to do. Just around the house
clothes. LOL. Really. Soon as I got home earlier, I got in my tshirt
and
shorts. Head to the sink, to wash dishes. Or throw in a load of laundry.
Or
curl up with a good book. with "Keep out unless you are bleeding" sign.


You are looking marvelous!! Way to go!

I remember the days when the last child started preschool. I got time
alone for
awhile. You kick your feet up, enjoy the alone time girl! Or hey go to
the
gym.


Lori
220/150/144
LC since 1/17/03
Devoted wife of Curtis, Stage 4 Prostate cancer at age 40
http://community.webshots.com/user/lorismiller




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Atkins since 1/17/04
CCLL 40
267/185/135
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As you free yourself from the past, your energy becomes available for the
present.


Thanks, DH curt just had a bad night tonight/ he has been working too hard
and getting too tired and he way crabby tonight.
A bunch of our friends go together tonight to support the whole tony dying
and my husband (who is dying faster every day) didn't want to go because it
reminded him that someday they will be gathering about him. so he's sleeping
now and I am contemplating the next inevitable chapter of my life. In a few
ways, it is enticing to have ANOTHER chance to do it over again. I've gotten
it more together each time I have to start over. I'm pretty sick of that
tho. this will be the 6th time. my husband is the 5th.
16-20 Tim (engaged Graduation day 18-20)
25-27 Ronnie (committed suicide when our son was 10 months and I had just
miscarried our second)
27-28 Dave (too damaged tho he didn't even know it. great guy, even proposed
after he found out about Todd but I wanted to have some FUN)
OVERLAP
28-30 Todd, Hot motorcycle and $10,000 settlement installment in the bank.
Need I say more? Dave could't/wouldn't commit until he found out about
Todd - I did warn him as my friendship with Todd progessed. we had some
college classes together)
30-32 NO MEN ALLOWED unless on a friends only basis. fun times.I grew up in
a small town in Minnesota. 60% farmers, 20% lake people and 20% town people.
66 in my graduating class. so we all know each other. I always got along
great with the guys, just ask them. the wives were too gossipy for me. and
boring.
33-39 ( next month) with my Curtis aka Curty Berty. how stupid but it just
pops out sometimes. Life is so weird. when people ask me what all this (and
more) have done to me, I just tell them that I've learned that we dont' know
what people are dealing with in their daily lives so when we run in to them
in a coincidental encounter, we shouldn't judge them by the glimpse of their
lives we get in a split second meeting and form a judgement about them
because we have no clue of what they are dealing with on a personal level.
It could be that they found out that the Love of Their Life, their
wonderful husband is dying from inoperable, incurable, and barely treatable
cancer that belongs with men who are twice his age!! and his business is
doing great, and he has a son!!! and a 'son" who he is so proud of . and he
just feels weaker as each month passes but he can't admit it and he is
starting to get a little demanding of my time. at least he did tonite for
the first time that I know of.
I still handle all of this better since losing 65 lbs on LC.


--
Lori
220/155/144
LC since 1/17/03
Devoted wife of Curtis, Stage 4 Prostate cancer at age 40
http://community.webshots.com/user/lorismiller

Thanks, DH curt just had a bad night tonight/ he has been working too hard
and getting too tired and he way crabby tonight.
A bunch of our friends go together tonight to support the whole tony dying
and my husband (who is dying faster every day) didn't want to go because it
reminded him that someday they will be gathering about him. so he's sleeping
now and I am contemplating the next inevitable chapter of my life. In a few
ways, it is enticing to have ANOTHER chance to do it over again. I've gotten
it more together each time I have to start over. I'm pretty sick of that
tho. this will be the 6th time. my husband is the 5th.


I wish I had words that would comfort you. I really do. I don't know what to
say. I know what I feel though. I am more a emotions/feeling person. I feel
sorry this is happening to you. I feel and wish that this was not happening to
you. Yet I also feel other things, that are hard to talk about. Because you
never know how another is going to react.

Its just that things happen for reasons. Maybe it won't be shown to you right
now. Eventually it will. Right now you are just feeling sadness, I can so
understand that. It's at times like these that you perhaps look at life, and
think about what is life really about?

I take death easy. Its just the way I am. I feel a little sadness. I cry. I
used to feel bad, ashamed, like there was something so wrong with me.. Because
I show emotions and feelings in everything so much, except death.

Yet in ways to me, and my beliefs. Death is a rebirth. Death was explained to
me this way, when my grandmother died. At her funeral. My grandmother wanted
death explained this way. From death, comes birth.

Perhaps from the death of your freind, something will be born in somebody. Or
when the death of your beloved husband happens, there will be birth of
something. Perhaps more awareness about this form of cancer, and the age it has
struck? Or maybe a birth of something within you? Part of your husband resides
within your son too. That is birth.

I don't know what else to say. I feel the sadness within you right now, I wish
I could ease it somehow. I really do.


16-20 Tim (engaged Graduation day 18-20)
25-27 Ronnie (committed suicide when our son was 10 months and I had just
miscarried our second)
27-28 Dave (too damaged tho he didn't even know it. great guy, even proposed
after he found out about Todd but I wanted to have some FUN)
OVERLAP
28-30 Todd, Hot motorcycle and $10,000 settlement installment in the bank.
Need I say more? Dave could't/wouldn't commit until he found out about
Todd - I did warn him as my friendship with Todd progessed. we had some
college classes together)
30-32 NO MEN ALLOWED unless on a friends only basis. fun times.I grew up in
a small town in Minnesota. 60% farmers, 20% lake people and 20% town people.
66 in my graduating class. so we all know each other. I always got along
great with the guys, just ask them. the wives were too gossipy for me. and
boring.

I can relate to that. Thats how I find most women my age, around me. Too
gossipy. I get along better with men. Yet opening up more so these days with
women too.

33-39 ( next month) with my Curtis aka Curty Berty. how stupid but it just
pops out sometimes. Life is so weird. when people ask me what all this (and
more) have done to me, I just tell them that I've learned that we dont' know
what people are dealing with in their daily lives so when we run in to them
in a coincidental encounter, we shouldn't judge them by the glimpse of their
lives we get in a split second meeting and form a judgement about them
because we have no clue of what they are dealing with on a personal level.

That is so true. Such a profound statement. Look at what you have learned. Be
proud of that.

It could be that they found out that the Love of Their Life, their
wonderful husband is dying from inoperable, incurable, and barely treatable
cancer that belongs with men who are twice his age!! and his business is
doing great, and he has a son!!! and a 'son" who he is so proud of . and he
just feels weaker as each month passes but he can't admit it and he is
starting to get a little demanding of my time. at least he did tonite for
the first time that I know of.
I still handle all of this better since losing 65 lbs on LC.

It is still a lot to handle. I'm sorry I did not take the time out to listen,
truly listen. Until now. Say what you need, feel what you need to feel. Its the
only way to get through it all. The emotional pain.


--
Lori
220/155/144
LC since 1/17/03
Devoted wife of Curtis, Stage 4 Prostate cancer at age 40
http://community.webshots.com/user/lorismiller






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Atkins since 1/17/04
CCLL 40
267/185/135
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As you free yourself from the past, your energy becomes available for the
present.

Thanks, DH curt just had a bad night tonight/ he has been working too hard
and getting too tired and he way crabby tonight.
A bunch of our friends go together tonight to support the whole tony dying
and my husband (who is dying faster every day) didn't want to go because it
reminded him that someday they will be gathering about him. so he's sleeping
now and I am contemplating the next inevitable chapter of my life. In a few
ways, it is enticing to have ANOTHER chance to do it over again. I've gotten
it more together each time I have to start over. I'm pretty sick of that
tho. this will be the 6th time. my husband is the 5th.


I wish I had words that would comfort you. I really do. I don't know what to
say. I know what I feel though. I am more a emotions/feeling person. I feel
sorry this is happening to you. I feel and wish that this was not happening to
you. Yet I also feel other things, that are hard to talk about. Because you
never know how another is going to react.

Its just that things happen for reasons. Maybe it won't be shown to you right
now. Eventually it will. Right now you are just feeling sadness, I can so
understand that. It's at times like these that you perhaps look at life, and
think about what is life really about?

I take death easy. Its just the way I am. I feel a little sadness. I cry. I
used to feel bad, ashamed, like there was something so wrong with me.. Because
I show emotions and feelings in everything so much, except death.

Yet in ways to me, and my beliefs. Death is a rebirth. Death was explained to
me this way, when my grandmother died. At her funeral. My grandmother wanted
death explained this way. From death, comes birth.

Perhaps from the death of your freind, something will be born in somebody. Or
when the death of your beloved husband happens, there will be birth of
something. Perhaps more awareness about this form of cancer, and the age it has
struck? Or maybe a birth of something within you? Part of your husband resides
within your son too. That is birth.

I don't know what else to say. I feel the sadness within you right now, I wish
I could ease it somehow. I really do.


16-20 Tim (engaged Graduation day 18-20)
25-27 Ronnie (committed suicide when our son was 10 months and I had just
miscarried our second)
27-28 Dave (too damaged tho he didn't even know it. great guy, even proposed
after he found out about Todd but I wanted to have some FUN)
OVERLAP
28-30 Todd, Hot motorcycle and $10,000 settlement installment in the bank.
Need I say more? Dave could't/wouldn't commit until he found out about
Todd - I did warn him as my friendship with Todd progessed. we had some
college classes together)
30-32 NO MEN ALLOWED unless on a friends only basis. fun times.I grew up in
a small town in Minnesota. 60% farmers, 20% lake people and 20% town people.
66 in my graduating class. so we all know each other. I always got along
great with the guys, just ask them. the wives were too gossipy for me. and
boring.

I can relate to that. Thats how I find most women my age, around me. Too
gossipy. I get along better with men. Yet opening up more so these days with
women too.

33-39 ( next month) with my Curtis aka Curty Berty. how stupid but it just
pops out sometimes. Life is so weird. when people ask me what all this (and
more) have done to me, I just tell them that I've learned that we dont' know
what people are dealing with in their daily lives so when we run in to them
in a coincidental encounter, we shouldn't judge them by the glimpse of their
lives we get in a split second meeting and form a judgement about them
because we have no clue of what they are dealing with on a personal level.

That is so true. Such a profound statement. Look at what you have learned. Be
proud of that.

It could be that they found out that the Love of Their Life, their
wonderful husband is dying from inoperable, incurable, and barely treatable
cancer that belongs with men who are twice his age!! and his business is
doing great, and he has a son!!! and a 'son" who he is so proud of . and he
just feels weaker as each month passes but he can't admit it and he is
starting to get a little demanding of my time. at least he did tonite for
the first time that I know of.
I still handle all of this better since losing 65 lbs on LC.

It is still a lot to handle. I'm sorry I did not take the time out to listen,
truly listen. Until now. Say what you need, feel what you need to feel. Its the
only way to get through it all. The emotional pain.


--
Lori
220/155/144
LC since 1/17/03
Devoted wife of Curtis, Stage 4 Prostate cancer at age 40
http://community.webshots.com/user/lorismiller






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Atkins since 1/17/04
CCLL 40
267/185/135
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As you free yourself from the past, your energy becomes available for the
present.

I took a new pic today. nothing fancy, just basically my
everyday-around-the-house look. I am draining the pool (still) . I
definitely need to get back to exercising. Trenton starts school next
Wednesday, so for the first time in 4 yrs, I will have 2.5 hrs MWF to
myself
and it's too far to drive home while he is in school so I will be working
out. (and shopping

--
Lori
220/150/144
LC since 1/17/03
Devoted wife of Curtis, Stage 4 Prostate cancer at age 40
http://community.webshots.com/user/lorismiller

Lori,

To say I am impressed is an understatement. You look fantastic. You have
done well. You are beautiful.

~Carol Ann

I took a new pic today. nothing fancy, just basically my
everyday-around-the-house look. I am draining the pool (still) . I
definitely need to get back to exercising. Trenton starts school next
Wednesday, so for the first time in 4 yrs, I will have 2.5 hrs MWF to
myself
and it's too far to drive home while he is in school so I will be working
out. (and shopping

--
Lori
220/150/144
LC since 1/17/03
Devoted wife of Curtis, Stage 4 Prostate cancer at age 40
http://community.webshots.com/user/lorismiller

Lori,

To say I am impressed is an understatement. You look fantastic. You have
done well. You are beautiful.

~Carol Ann