If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
I have lost around 70 pounds now. I look in the mirror and still see a fat
person. I can relate for sure. I am glad you are getting compliments, you so deserve it!! |
#2
|
|||
|
|||
Thanks, Sunshyne. It helps to know that I'm not the only one who feels this
way. Thanks for the confidence, too! -- Linda 296/203/160 LC since Oct. 13, 2003 http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html "Sunshyne" wrote in message ... I have lost around 70 pounds now. I look in the mirror and still see a fat person. I can relate for sure. I am glad you are getting compliments, you so deserve it!! |
#3
|
|||
|
|||
Thanks, Sunshyne. It helps to know that I'm not the only one who feels this
way. Thanks for the confidence, too! -- Linda 296/203/160 LC since Oct. 13, 2003 http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html "Sunshyne" wrote in message ... I have lost around 70 pounds now. I look in the mirror and still see a fat person. I can relate for sure. I am glad you are getting compliments, you so deserve it!! |
#5
|
|||
|
|||
Lots of compliments/Body image
"Lady o' the house" wrote in message
... School started back up this week, and I saw a lot of my colleagues for the first time after being out all summer. I was almost embarrassed by all the compliments they were giving me (almost, but not too much! LOL). Nice and congrats I did experience the opposite actually. My being fat was a taboo issue, so people were very hesitant to congratulate me, or even acknowledge my weight loss. To date, my father still has not even mentionned it for instance, though I know indirectly that he is aware of it. I got my first comments from a friend who has an history of social blunders, he was the first one to take notice, after I had lost my first 30 pounds. That started people on talking openly about it, though it's not like I get constant comments. They all said that I look fantastic and my supervisor even said that I seem to have a 'glow' about me. I figured out that I'd lost close to 25 pounds just since school let out at the end of May. I guess 25 pounds does make a difference. 25 pounds do make a whole world of difference. The glowing part is also from your feeling better. It really lifted my spirits. I told DH that I know the scale shows a 93-pound loss, but when I look in the mirror, I still see this 'blob' of a person. I'm beginning to see how anorexic people can look at themselves and fail to see how thin they really are. Yes, that's a common problem, especially with quick weight loss (for example, for people who get bariatric surgery). I keep oscillating between feeling as fat as I was and feeling slim. Of course, I get surprised whenever I look at myself closely in the mirror, because the truth is that I'm merely in between right now, almost overweight, not slim, but no longer morbidly obese. The inability to adjust yourself to your new body and to have the proper mental image for it is actually one of the cause people fall off their diet. On the other hand, getting their mind and body together is what allow many people to successfully keep the loss. So, it's worth working at your self perception. If only because it will make you feel good. Some authors suggest looking at yourself naked in the mirror daily, in a neutral-loving fashion. Like, inspecting yourself, taking note of what has improved and what you actually like in yourself. One other talks of a cabinet she had built, with four-way mirrors so her patients could look at themselves from all angles. Other authors suggest sports that enhance self perception, such as martial arts, tai chi or yoga. That's maybe where you can benefit from some of the books on the non-diet approach, because they are usually much better on this part than most diet books which tend to neglect psychological issues. If you don't mind feminism, Fat is a Feminist Issue by Susie Orbach has some interresting analysis on women (though I think it applies to men with minimal translation) relationships to their thin and fat bodies. Many of the books that deal with overeating attempt to cover the part about accepting your slim body and giving up your fat one. Do I need to see a doctor about my self-image problem, or does it get better eventually? It depends. It's like puberty. Some people take in their new body features for granted and move on, while others go through hellish years while they adjust. Think of it like going through puberty again. Your body is changing, how people see it is also changing, you're becoming more sexual and attractive and what you perceive of yourself is badly in sync with what others see. Sometimes, it gets better on its own, sometimes it gets better with some pain, and sometimes it doesn't. It's hard to predict, it depends on you. But *if* you feel like it's hard or not satisfying or even if you worry about it, that's certainly something a good psychologist can help you with. I would especially consider one with a specialty in eating disorders, since treating self-image distortion is always part of the cure for these. I am worried because I am starting to obsess over the scale. That's the same symptom. Since you have troubles defining your body and evaluating, you have to settle for putting a number on it as its "value". Once you have managed to inhabit trully your new body, the scale won't matter than much, what will matter is how well you feel inside of yourself. Gaining weight then translates as feeling unwell in your body, instead of as a number on the scale. I've been thinking about going on maintenance for awhile and giving my 'mind' a break. That might be a good idea. Especially if you have a past history of binges or psychological issues. You can only stretch so far the distance between your mind and body before you put them in sync again. Going in maintenance for a short while, and working at your mind (yourself or with a psychologist) in the meantime might help. |
#6
|
|||
|
|||
"Lady o' the house" wrote in message
... Thanks, Becky. I don't think you're being too harsh at all. I KNOW that I was in denial for years. Even when I would look in the mirror, I couldn't or wouldn't see how big I'd gotten. Actually, most obese people look at their *face* in the mirror. Most of us have become very good at ignoring that we have a body bellow our head. It took me a long while to realize how fat I had become, because I was only looking at the face, and I was fortunate enough not to gain much fat in that area. It had gotten to the point that I couldn't stand to have my picture taken. If I did manage to get my picture done, I refused to look at it since I would end up crying over it. But that was so long ago. I don't feel that way anymore. Same here. Pictures are killers because you can't ignore your body on them. Movies are even worse. And, no, I'm not very tall. I'm 5'7", pretty average, so I'm not thin by any stretch of the imagination. And I know that and accept that reality, and I'm changing it. One of the problem we all face is you are in the middle grounds right now. This means you're looking different to different people. The people who know you perceive you as slimmER, and you will get very positive feedback. But the people who don't know you still preceive you as fat (which is why I think fat acceptance can benefit dieters on non-dieters alike, because most dieters are *also* fat a good deal of the way down, and we can do without the negative feedback from strangers). So, if you own self image is not firmly set, you're going to oscillate all the time, depending on what the other people are showing of yourself... |
#7
|
|||
|
|||
Thanks for the thoughts, Ig. It helps to hear that others are going/have
gone through the same thing. -- Linda 296/203/160 LC since Oct. 13, 2003 http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html "Ignoramus17461" wrote in message ... In article , Lady o' the house wrote: Do I need to see a doctor about my self-image problem, or does it get better eventually? I am worried because I am starting to obsess over the scale. I've been thinking about going on maintenance for awhile and giving my 'mind' a break. I can relate my experiences. I became used to seeing myself as a fat person. After I lost weight and returned to normal weight, I was seeing myself as a fat person for a few more months. I intellectually knew that I was in a decent shape, but felt somehow as though I was fat. Now, after a year, gradually, I see myself as more and more as belonging to the crowd of "normal weight" people. This change of self perception became especially apparent after I switched to a low carb paleo diet and got rid of persistent, though manageable, hunger. You have gone a long way, but you are still overweight, so, there is some reality is perceiving yourself as overweight. If you manage to lose more, and maintain, time will adjust your self image, I would hope. I also hope that you won't lose your vigilance, even as your self image changes. You do not sound like a mentally disturbed freak to me, so, I think, you will be able to adjust to a welcome change in circumstances. i |
#8
|
|||
|
|||
Thanks for the thoughts, Ig. It helps to hear that others are going/have
gone through the same thing. -- Linda 296/203/160 LC since Oct. 13, 2003 http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html "Ignoramus17461" wrote in message ... In article , Lady o' the house wrote: Do I need to see a doctor about my self-image problem, or does it get better eventually? I am worried because I am starting to obsess over the scale. I've been thinking about going on maintenance for awhile and giving my 'mind' a break. I can relate my experiences. I became used to seeing myself as a fat person. After I lost weight and returned to normal weight, I was seeing myself as a fat person for a few more months. I intellectually knew that I was in a decent shape, but felt somehow as though I was fat. Now, after a year, gradually, I see myself as more and more as belonging to the crowd of "normal weight" people. This change of self perception became especially apparent after I switched to a low carb paleo diet and got rid of persistent, though manageable, hunger. You have gone a long way, but you are still overweight, so, there is some reality is perceiving yourself as overweight. If you manage to lose more, and maintain, time will adjust your self image, I would hope. I also hope that you won't lose your vigilance, even as your self image changes. You do not sound like a mentally disturbed freak to me, so, I think, you will be able to adjust to a welcome change in circumstances. i |
#9
|
|||
|
|||
Thanks for all of your advice, Lictor.
-- Linda 296/203/160 LC since Oct. 13, 2003 http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html "Lictor" wrote in message ... "Lady o' the house" wrote in message ... Thanks, Becky. I don't think you're being too harsh at all. I KNOW that I was in denial for years. Even when I would look in the mirror, I couldn't or wouldn't see how big I'd gotten. Actually, most obese people look at their *face* in the mirror. Most of us have become very good at ignoring that we have a body bellow our head. It took me a long while to realize how fat I had become, because I was only looking at the face, and I was fortunate enough not to gain much fat in that area. It had gotten to the point that I couldn't stand to have my picture taken. If I did manage to get my picture done, I refused to look at it since I would end up crying over it. But that was so long ago. I don't feel that way anymore. Same here. Pictures are killers because you can't ignore your body on them. Movies are even worse. And, no, I'm not very tall. I'm 5'7", pretty average, so I'm not thin by any stretch of the imagination. And I know that and accept that reality, and I'm changing it. One of the problem we all face is you are in the middle grounds right now. This means you're looking different to different people. The people who know you perceive you as slimmER, and you will get very positive feedback. But the people who don't know you still preceive you as fat (which is why I think fat acceptance can benefit dieters on non-dieters alike, because most dieters are *also* fat a good deal of the way down, and we can do without the negative feedback from strangers). So, if you own self image is not firmly set, you're going to oscillate all the time, depending on what the other people are showing of yourself... |
#10
|
|||
|
|||
I been following this thread, and got alot out of it also. I still see a fat
woman when looking in the mirror. Its gradually getting better. I should see a thinner woman. Or not so overweight and obese. Heck, my clothes hang off me. People compliment me. I don't know how to take it. Thanks for starting the thread linda. It helped me too. It probably helped others also. Thanks for the thoughts, Ig. It helps to hear that others are going/have gone through the same thing. -- Linda 296/203/160 LC since Oct. 13, 2003 http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html |
|
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Eating lots of carbs may raise breast cancer risk, study finds | marengo | Low Carbohydrate Diets | 0 | August 6th, 2004 06:56 AM |
new image | Joyce | Weightwatchers | 3 | July 15th, 2004 06:54 PM |
Lots and lots of exercise videos listed | That T Woman | General Discussion | 1 | February 18th, 2004 12:15 AM |
Computer-Altered Image of You at Lower Weight? | Crafting Mom | General Discussion | 1 | November 20th, 2003 04:02 PM |