Sort of new here - intro

Hello to everybody! I was here for a little while a few years ago, so
I'm not a total newcomer. but close enough... g

I'm 44 years old and obese. What started me back on the road to losing
weight was kind of a strange situation. A few months ago, I suddenly
lost a great deal of my appetite, and just couldn't eat much. For
example, I might be able to manage about half a child's portion at a
restaurant. Sometimes I'd have a faint feeling of nausea as well, which
made the thought of any amount of food offensive to me. I also couldn't
tolerate colas any longer (which I've always loved, but now just seemed
too syrupy), or too much in the way of anything sweet, especially on an
empty stomach. Every day was different - sometimes I'd just not have
much appetite, some days I'd have that nausea, others I'd feel nearly
normal, but still ate lightly.

After a couple of times where I felt like I was going to pass out
because I hadn't eaten all day, I learned to keep a few cans of
nutritional shakes in the fridge for those times when I just couldn't
face regular food. They felt good on my stomach and kept me going.

The doctor ordered an upper GI, which came back negative, and a recent
blood workup was normal too, so that ruled out any problems there.
Strangely, I actually consider it to be a blessing, because it's taught
me to eat in moderation and not overeat. In three months, I lost 25
lbs., and I'm very happy about that!

I've noticed that in the past few weeks, those symptoms seem to have
gone away, but I've vowed to continue eating mostly the way I have been,
and not lose this head start that God has granted me, or all the
positive changes I've made. I still am basically off the colas, which
is huge in and of itself! I do eat a little more than I did (which is
good, since it really was too little to eat on a long-term basis), but
definitely keeping to my goal of eating what I want, but in moderation.

It's amazing how freeing it is to eat whatever I want, and the thing is,
when I give myself that freedom, there's no "last meal" desperation
binging when I eat my favorite foods, because I know I can always have
it again whenever I choose, as opposed to the restrictive diet mentality
where I refuse my beloved foods until I snap and have to eat it all
because, after all, "it's the last time I can ever eat this." Until the
next binge...

A neighbor came over with her kids with a homemade lasagna to share for
dinner together at our place, and instead of having a big piece, then
going after another, I had one moderate piece, savored every bite, and
was completely satisfied. Pizza? I'm happy with two slices instead of
four or five. Big steps for me, you understand, because I absolutely
LOVE those foods! g And the funny thing is, eating in a "lighter" way
(regarding portion size, not the foods themselves) has made me
appreciate healthier foods even more. I love veggies more than ever,
and just as often as not, I honestly prefer fruit to dessert. I still
enjoy sweet treats, but again, in total moderation. Two Oreos or Fig
Newtons instead of a stack of 6 or 8. A pint of Ben and Jerry's gives
me at least 6 "pick at it with a fork" sessions. Too much sweet stuff,
and my stomach gets queasy, which, like the colas, is one thng that's
still affecting me. But no complaints here!

When I feel myself struggling with the old feelings of wanting to
eat-eat-eat, I find that if I skip one meal - lunch, usually - it snaps
me back on track. I know, it's not good to skip meals, but it works for
me, and I only do it occasionally.

So that's what's working for me - the freedom of eat-what-I-want
moderation. The best thing of all is that it's absolutely something I
can do for the rest of my life, because I'm not denying myself anything
I truly want. A wise person once said if you want to succeed, study
successful people. And for someone who wants to lose weight, who's more
successful - a normal, regular-weight person, or a chronic dieter?
Normal people don't sit around fretting over every morsel they eat, but
instead, eat what they truly enjoy without going overboard. And when
they do indulge a little more than usual, they don't beat themselves up
over it, but just move on without giving it a second thought. And
that's just how I want to live my life...

Thanks for listening, I hope I made some sense in the midst of my
rambling LOL! Here's to success!

M-C
401/376/?
(I've been very heavy all my life, so I have no past reference point to
go by to know what weight I'd be comfortable with)

wrote in message
...
Hello to everybody! I was here for a little while a few years ago, so
I'm not a total newcomer. but close enough... g

I've noticed that in the past few weeks, those symptoms seem to have
gone away, but I've vowed to continue eating mostly the way I have been,
and not lose this head start that God has granted me, or all the
positive changes I've made. I still am basically off the colas, which
is huge in and of itself! I do eat a little more than I did (which is
good, since it really was too little to eat on a long-term basis), but
definitely keeping to my goal of eating what I want, but in moderation.

This is a great attitude!

It's amazing how freeing it is to eat whatever I want, and the thing is,
when I give myself that freedom, there's no "last meal" desperation
binging when I eat my favorite foods, because I know I can always have
it again whenever I choose, as opposed to the restrictive diet mentality
where I refuse my beloved foods until I snap and have to eat it all
because, after all, "it's the last time I can ever eat this." Until the
next binge...

Restrictive dieting is a binge trigger for some people. It's great that
you've been able to identify it for yourself and that it's helped you keep
the binge eating under control. That's a big step!

When I feel myself struggling with the old feelings of wanting to
eat-eat-eat, I find that if I skip one meal - lunch, usually - it snaps
me back on track. I know, it's not good to skip meals, but it works for
me, and I only do it occasionally.

I could see how this would work for you. I don't skip meals because actual
hunger is a binge trigger for me. If I want to eat, I find that a simple
100 cal-ish snack works for me. If it's worse than that (binge urge), I'm
finding ways to deal with it. For me, avoiding all food only makes it worse.

So that's what's working for me - the freedom of eat-what-I-want
moderation. The best thing of all is that it's absolutely something I
can do for the rest of my life, because I'm not denying myself anything
I truly want. A wise person once said if you want to succeed, study
successful people. And for someone who wants to lose weight, who's more
successful - a normal, regular-weight person, or a chronic dieter?
Normal people don't sit around fretting over every morsel they eat, but
instead, eat what they truly enjoy without going overboard. And when
they do indulge a little more than usual, they don't beat themselves up
over it, but just move on without giving it a second thought. And
that's just how I want to live my life...

You need to do what works for you and so far you seem to have found
something that works. Keep it up!

Thanks for listening, I hope I made some sense in the midst of my
rambling LOL! Here's to success!

M-C
401/376/?
(I've been very heavy all my life, so I have no past reference point to
go by to know what weight I'd be comfortable with)


Best of luck to you. BTDT on the goal thing. You'll figure it out. Some
people like to make mini-goals when their final goal is a bit farther off.
Keep posting and reading. You'll get good advice and you'll get bad and/or
stupid advice. In most cases the good outnumbers the bad

Jenn

wrote in message
...
Hello to everybody!

Hi and welcome!

A few months ago, I suddenly lost a great deal of my appetite, and just
couldn't eat much. For
example, I might be able to manage about half a child's portion at a
restaurant. Sometimes I'd have a faint feeling of nausea as well, which
made the thought of any amount of food offensive to me.

Actually, that's exactly what happens to people who are being overfed [see
Sims experience]. That's self-regulation kicking in, and making you eat less
to push you back towards your biological set-point.

I also couldn't tolerate colas any longer (which I've always loved, but
now just seemed
too syrupy), or too much in the way of anything sweet, especially on an
empty stomach. Every day was different - sometimes I'd just not have
much appetite, some days I'd have that nausea, others I'd feel nearly
normal, but still ate lightly.

That's also look like it, though the cola thing sounds strange. I thought
"diabete", but from reading the rest of your post, this has been ruled out.
It just seems you have been "magically" blessed with a fully functionnal
regulation system. Your hunger and satiety mechanism seem to be working.
Maybe it was the result of a slow psychological maturation, or some shock
triggered self-awareness, or it's an act of god; only you can tell

After a couple of times where I felt like I was going to pass out
because I hadn't eaten all day, I learned to keep a few cans of
nutritional shakes in the fridge for those times when I just couldn't
face regular food. They felt good on my stomach and kept me going.

This sounds like mild hypoglycemia, which is actually real hunger ignored
for a little too long. Some people report pretty strong reaction to hunger,
to the point of feeling like fainting. Maybe being hungry was just too new
for you to react to it in due time...

The doctor ordered an upper GI, which came back negative, and a recent
blood workup was normal too, so that ruled out any problems there.

Good.

Strangely, I actually consider it to be a blessing, because it's taught
me to eat in moderation and not overeat. In three months, I lost 25
lbs., and I'm very happy about that!

It *isù a blessing! Some people here have struggled a lot to restore this
natural regulation... And as you have noticed, when it works properly, it is
one of the most pleasant way to lose weight...

I still am basically off the colas, which is huge in and of itself!

Not drinking colas anymore won't kill you. At worst, you can drink diet
ones.
It is still unclear if we can correctly regulate food intake that is purely
liquid (i.e., like water, not like milk or shakes). In the doubt, it is
probably best not to ingest insane amounts of fructose in liquid form.

I do eat a little more than I did (which is
good, since it really was too little to eat on a long-term basis), but
definitely keeping to my goal of eating what I want, but in moderation.

If you're still following your hunger and satiety (which I hope), this is
normal. I experienced the same, I had a sharp weight loss at first, and then
it dropped to a more reasonnable pace. When you have a huge amount of weight
to lose, I guess the body feels safe about dumping it quickly, but after a
while, it seems to protect itself by slowing down the loss.
You can also expect plateaus. This has happened to both my girlfriend and
myself, and we both tried going along with our natural regulation. Sometimes
the plateau breaks on its own, or it breaks after a lifestyle change (like
starting to exercise for my girlfriend). I don't think restricting yourself
(i.e. banning some food, staying hungry) is a good solution to deal with a
plateau.

It's amazing how freeing it is to eat whatever I want

Same feeling here.

and the thing is, when I give myself that freedom, there's no "last meal"
desperation
binging when I eat my favorite foods, because I know I can always have
it again whenever I choose, as opposed to the restrictive diet mentality
where I refuse my beloved foods until I snap and have to eat it all
because, after all, "it's the last time I can ever eat this." Until the
next binge...

This is a well documented psychological mechanism, and indeed, some authors
have hinted that re-educating the hunger-satiety regulation system would be
a safer way to gain weight loss.
I have experienced exactly the same thing. The fact that I know I will have
French fries whenever I want means that I can eat half the potion, feel
satiated and throw away the remains with no feeling of loss. Actually, the
fact that I can have French friends whenever I want makes me want them less
often, whereas in the past I would have *automatically* wanted some if given
the opportunity.

A neighbor came over with her kids with a homemade lasagna to share for
dinner together at our place, and instead of having a big piece, then
going after another, I had one moderate piece, savored every bite, and
was completely satisfied.

Besides, you have probably noticed that it *tastes* much better that way,
when you eat it while you're hungry and take the time to *taste* it. I'm
willing to bet you spent more time eating that moderate piece than you used
to spend eating your two servings...

And the funny thing is, eating in a "lighter" way
(regarding portion size, not the foods themselves) has made me
appreciate healthier foods even more. I love veggies more than ever,
and just as often as not, I honestly prefer fruit to dessert.

Again, same feeling here. Though this is quite irregular. I can go for
months without wanting fruits or some vegetables, and then I will litterally
crave for them. Like, I'm very very glad that apples are in season again.
The fact that you're freed from the obession of "forbidden" foods have
broken the polarization these specific foods. Now, you are free to pick your
choice among the whole variety of foods, rather than force yourself to pick
among the ones you don't want while denying yourself the ones you want.

I still enjoy sweet treats, but again, in total moderation. Two Oreos or
Fig
Newtons instead of a stack of 6 or 8. A pint of Ben and Jerry's gives
me at least 6 "pick at it with a fork" sessions.

At first, I was surprised at how long a chocolate tab could last. I mean,
I'm still a heavy chocolate eater, but I used to be able to eat *several*
tabs in a day. Now, it's several days for one tab.

Too much sweet stuff, and my stomach gets queasy, which, like the colas,
is one thng that's
still affecting me. But no complaints here!

That could mean a problem with your glycemia being too high or too long, but
you say blood work is normal.
But that's also the normal way normal people regulate their intake. The
process is called alliesthesia. Each food has a given taste, but that taste
interracts with you, and *feels* more or less good. While you eat a specific
food, it's perceived taste will give you less and less pleasure (it will
taste less "good"), until you only get displeasure (negative alliesthesia).
Displeasure can be felt as nausea. That's the sign that your body is not
hungry for that food anymore - time to move to the rest of the meal, or end
the meal if nothing feels attractive.
This sounds like what you describe about sweets.

When I feel myself struggling with the old feelings of wanting to
eat-eat-eat, I find that if I skip one meal - lunch, usually - it snaps
me back on track.

Because doing that gives you a real hunger feeling. It's a good way to reset
your hungry-not hungry scale properly. Since the whole thing seems new to
you, it's possible that that scale drifts from time to time.

I know, it's not good to skip meals, but it works for me, and I only do
it occasionally.

It's neither bad nor good. There is no set rule for meals, some people eat
three times a day, others eat six, and other a variable number of meals
depending on the day. The idea behind not skipping meals is that doing so
will make you hungry and you will devour "bad food". So, you should have
plenty of meals with "good food" to resist the temptation. Judging from what
you're posting, this is so not your problem...

So that's what's working for me - the freedom of eat-what-I-want
moderation. The best thing of all is that it's absolutely something I
can do for the rest of my life, because I'm not denying myself anything
I truly want.

That's the ideal sustainable diet. You don't even have to worry about
maintainance, because what you are doing is already maintainance.

A wise person once said if you want to succeed, study
successful people. And for someone who wants to lose weight, who's more
successful - a normal, regular-weight person, or a chronic dieter?

That's funny, the group was having that whole discussion a couple of days
ago...

Normal people don't sit around fretting over every morsel they eat, but
instead, eat what they truly enjoy without going overboard.

I think the notion of pleasure is important. Some people here seem to think
"normal" people (if there are such people) are just not interrested in food,
that they don't eat for pleasure. I think it's partly the contrary. Normal
people eat *also* for pleasure, and pleasure is at its maximum when you're
hungry and not yet satiated. As a result, they are not interrested in eating
when stuffed, because there is only displeasure to have there. Normal people
also eat to help with emotionnal distress. Except eating is just *one* of
their coping strategies, so they don't do it all the time. Also, they feel
no guilt about emotionnal eating, and as a result they get maximum effect
from only a symbolic amount of food. They probably get more emotionnal
well-being from a single chunk of chocolate than many bingers from half a
dozen tabs.

And when they do indulge a little more than usual, they don't beat
themselves up
over it, but just move on without giving it a second thought.

And their regulation system will adjust for that and make them easier to
satiate at the next meal.
Studies on young kids have shown that trully unrestrained kids have a very
good day to day balance, usually managing caloric intake around a constant
value with 10% precision. But they're also the kids with the most meal to
meal variations - some days they will eat a gigantic breakfast, and the next
they will barely touch their cereals.

401/376/?
(I've been very heavy all my life, so I have no past reference point to
go by to know what weight I'd be comfortable with)

Whatever you stop at will be a huge improvement over your previous weight.
Your body should stabilize on its own around your "intended" weight.
Exercising might lower the intended weight a bit, and will certainly make
you look better at any given weight. You will probably also experience some
stalls on the way down.
The important part is to accept yourself. If you feel comfortable and proud
at all the intermediate weights on the way down, a stall or a slight set
back will be easy to accept and deal with. And if your final weight happens
not to be the one fashions or insurance companies call for, you will still
be happy about being there and having lost whatever you will have lost...

On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 17:56:19 -0700, wrote:


It's amazing how freeing it is to eat whatever I want, and the thing is,
when I give myself that freedom, there's no "last meal" desperation
binging when I eat my favorite foods, because I know I can always have
it again whenever I choose, as opposed to the restrictive diet mentality
where I refuse my beloved foods until I snap and have to eat it all
because, after all, "it's the last time I can ever eat this." Until the
next binge...

Welcome M-C. What a wonderful post, but for me it was this paragraph
that really stood out. I could have written every word myself -
you're describing what I have done over and over and if you've managed
to break free of this cycle then you are truly on the road to lasting
success.

You also talk about the freedom of eating what you want. I've had the
greatest periods of successful weight loss (but so far, still not
permanent success) when I don't have any "banned" foods in my WOE, and
when I don't obsessively record everything I eat. I find it hard to
explain, but this gives me a feeling of being very "grown up" and
empowered, which I think in some deeper way is linked to some of the
reasons for me starting the binge behaviour in the first place, when I
was 16. Not having banned foods also gives me the ability to make
wise choices, rather than being told I mustn't have something, which
then immediately makes me want it.

I hope you decide to post here regularly, so we can encourage you.


janice
233/179/133

On Sun, 12 Sep 2004 05:40:19 +0200, "Lictor"
wrote:

Actually, the
fact that I can have French friends whenever I want makes me want them less
often, whereas in the past I would have *automatically* wanted some if given
the opportunity.

I kind of like this type :-)

Chris

"Chris Braun" wrote in message
news
On Sun, 12 Sep 2004 05:40:19 +0200, "Lictor"
wrote:

Actually, the
fact that I can have French friends whenever I want makes me want them
less
often, whereas in the past I would have *automatically* wanted some if
given
the opportunity.

I kind of like this type :-)

Chris

lol
Fries, not friends. I should not post past 5am. x-)
Okay, maybe this applies to female friends too... Maybe I should x-post to
alt.couple.fidelity or something.

What a wonderful thread you have started! An introspective post with
thoughtful, encouraging responses. I think you are going to do well
and be a motivating person in the group.

I started out 11 months ago, supermorbidly obese as you are now. Like
you, I have not set a goal weight. The health improvements I've seen
are far more important than reaching some number on a scale or getting
into a certain dress size.

You seem to have a keen grasp on your food issues, so I'll just stand
by to offer advice and encouragement (perhaps on exercise, when you're
ready to start) as you seek it.

More likely, though, you are going to serve as a new inspiration to
me!

As always, YMMV.

Kasey
365/239/???

wrote:

It's amazing how freeing it is to eat whatever I want, and the thing
is, when I give myself that freedom, there's no "last meal"
desperation binging when I eat my favorite foods, because I know I
can always have it again whenever I choose, as opposed to the
restrictive diet mentality where I refuse my beloved foods until I
snap and have to eat it all because, after all, "it's the last time I
can ever eat this." Until the next binge...

This is exactly how I am managing. If I restrict, I binge.

Thanks for listening, I hope I made some sense in the midst of my
rambling LOL! Here's to success!

Welcome! I'm pretty new here myself, but have found a good deal of support.

--
PL
(320/295/170)
(First mini-goal: 299 Reached! 08/26/04)
(Second mini-goal: 279)


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wrote in message
...
Hello to everybody! I was here for a little while a few years ago, so
I'm not a total newcomer. but close enough... g
snip

Thanks for a very good and inspirational post, M-C. Please keep posting and let us
know how you are doing. I am rooting for you!

Mary M
325-153-145

Thanks to everyone for your kind words and support, I really appreciate
it!

--
M-C
401/376/?