Your Comments Please

From our daily newspaper. "Life" section. My own opinion is the size
issue will not remain invisible in the relationship. The woman appears
to be OK with it but I am wondering about her partner.

Q: I've been dating a Big Beautiful Woman (BBW). I was instantly
attracted, not just by her beauty, but by her brains, her heart,
passion, sensuality, and mostly, her comfort with herself. With other
women, I'm considered overweight, even obese. My new lover considers me
HOT!

This is my first relationship with someone considered plus-size. I'm
concerned about the reaction from friends and family when I introduce
her. I'm more concerned about my own doubts and why I'm thinking such
negative, hypocritical thoughts. How can I reconcile these conflicting
feelings, emotions and thoughts? Is there hope for me?


Confused


AYes, there's hope, but only if you drop all those stereotyping labels
and go with your heart's emotions instead of your brain's muddled
thinking. Your lover has a name and it's NOT "BBW."

Treat her as the person she is (she sounds wonderful) not the oversized
caricature you're dithering about. Since your friends accept you as you
are, they're bound to be as open to her ... unless you sabotage their
welcome by raising doubts and making negative judgments. Take a lesson
from her.

The "hypocritical" part of this letter is your own lack of
self-confidence and hang-ups about your image. A slimmer woman won't
change that, but having the good fortune to be with a terrific partner,
like this one, may help.

--
Diva
*****
The Best Man For The Job Is A Woman

Carol Frilegh wrote in message
...
From our daily newspaper. "Life" section. My own opinion is the size
issue will not remain invisible in the relationship. The woman appears
to be OK with it but I am wondering about her partner.

Q: I've been dating a Big Beautiful Woman (BBW). I was instantly
attracted, not just by her beauty, but by her brains, her heart,
passion, sensuality, and mostly, her comfort with herself. With other
women, I'm considered overweight, even obese. My new lover considers me
HOT!

This is my first relationship with someone considered plus-size. I'm
concerned about the reaction from friends and family when I introduce
her. I'm more concerned about my own doubts and why I'm thinking such
negative, hypocritical thoughts. How can I reconcile these conflicting
feelings, emotions and thoughts? Is there hope for me?

Confused

AYes, there's hope, but only if you drop all those stereotyping labels
and go with your heart's emotions instead of your brain's muddled
thinking. Your lover has a name and it's NOT "BBW."

Treat her as the person she is (she sounds wonderful) not the oversized
caricature you're dithering about. Since your friends accept you as you
are, they're bound to be as open to her ... unless you sabotage their
welcome by raising doubts and making negative judgments. Take a lesson
from her.

The "hypocritical" part of this letter is your own lack of
self-confidence and hang-ups about your image. A slimmer woman won't
change that, but having the good fortune to be with a terrific partner,
like this one, may help.

As pathetic as this guy is I have seen a family not accept their daughter's
boyfriend because of his size so his fear isn't as totally unwarranted as
the columnist makes it seem. But IMHO he needs to ignore everyone else's
prejudices and work on his own. I think this relationship is purely an ego
booster for him, and eventually he will need to find a real relationship
either with his current GF or someone else.

Matthew
--
You're it. Get fit!
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