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Worried about my girlfriend (Any way to encourage an obese person to want to lose weight)
Trouble is I think she doesn't think she has enough time in the day to do anything like swimming since she has a full time job so exercising apart from taking the dog for a walk which we already do is out of the question. Also we eat pretty healthily only we do eat quite a lot so I cant think that she'll be thinking theres much she can do about her weight. I just wish I could get her to go to the gym or something because I know when I used to do it my life changed in the way that I enjoyed it as a new hobby. I have told her shed enjoy it but she wont have it. I think she thinks ( even though ive told her otherwise ) that the gym is full of tanned skinny girls so shed feel embarassed. Maybe. I find it very encouraging to see overweight people on a treadmill. Any little bit of activity is better than none. MadJock 204/196/165 |
#12
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Worried about my girlfriend (Any way to encourage an obese person to want to lose weight)
Dan B wrote:
Trouble is I think she doesn't think she has enough time in the day to do anything like swimming since she has a full time job so exercising apart from taking the dog for a walk which we already do is out of the question. i work full time and go to school part time and i still manage to find time to exercise. making excuses for her to fail before she even starts isn't going to help her lose weight. |
#13
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Worried about my girlfriend (Any way to encourage an obese person to want to lose weight)
I find it very encouraging to see overweight people on a treadmill. Any little bit of activity is better than none. MadJock 204/196/165 I think i've said this to her before but I totally agree. When I used to go to the gym you get into a mentality that youre all there to get fit and *anyone* in there doing their little bit earns admiration from the rest of the group. I've made my girlfriend out to be a little bit larger than she really is maybe but in the gym there was always a few VERY large people. She wouldnt have to worry about being the largest at all. Its just persuading her that thats all...... Dan |
#14
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Worried about my girlfriend (Any way to encourage an obese person to want to lose weight)
making excuses for her to fail before she even starts isn't going to help her lose weight. Dont get me wrong there, i should have said Trouble is I think she doesn't think she has enough time in the day to do anything like swimming since she has a full time job so exercising apart from taking the dog for a walk which we already do is "out of the question" If not her words, words along the lines she would say. I'm trying to get her to do these exercises remember.. Dan |
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Worried about my girlfriend (Any way to encourage an obese person to want to lose weight)
On Wed, 1 Oct 2003 14:04:27 +0100, "Dan B"
wrote: Trouble is I think she doesn't think she has enough time in the day to do anything like swimming since she has a full time job so exercising apart from taking the dog for a walk which we already do is out of the question. That's an excuse. One that many people who aren't ready to make the commitment, make. I know I did for a long time. But let me tell you, I work full time plus. I also have a commute to work. I also have a 9.5yr old son and I'm still technically a single mom. I also have a relationship with my BF, and we have a cat and a dog. I manage to find time. I can work 50+ hrs a week, spend 8+ hrs a week in the car commuting, Get my son to soccer practice, take the dog for a walk twice a day (at least 1 mile each time) and spend time with the BF AND still manage to workout. But - I enjoy working out. That's the key. I had to find something I enjoyed before I could make that commitment. For me, the first joy was bicycling. Low impact, didn't hurt my knees, and once I found my pace and comfort zone, it was great. Swimming in another activity I enjoy. Don't get to do it often, but I do enjoy it. Now that I found this bootcamp class at the Y, I'm loving it. Totally my style of workout. Also we eat pretty healthily only we do eat quite a lot so I cant think that she'll be thinking theres much she can do about her weight. Volume is usually the problem for alot of people. Its the amount of food you put in. You can get fat on salads if you use alot of high fat dressing and calorie laiden ingredents. Think of it this way. A serving of meat is about the size of a deck of cards (or would lay in the palm of your hand, excluding fingers). A serving of veggies is about the size of a balled up fist. Next time you eat, take a quick judgement of how much is on your plate. If your piece of meat (or pieces) is larger than a deck of cards - that's too much. If your serving of rice or potatoes is larger than a balled up fist, or a baseball - too much. Same for veggies. The other key to the food - what its cooked in. Do you have lots of butter on your veggies? What about sauces, cheeses, etc? Those add up. Bread is another downfall for alot of people. Once again, the serving size for a piece of bread is about the size of a deck of cards. I just wish I could get her to go to the gym or something because I know when I used to do it my life changed in the way that I enjoyed it as a new hobby. I have told her shed enjoy it but she wont have it. I think she thinks ( even though ive told her otherwise ) that the gym is full of tanned skinny girls so shed feel embarassed. Maybe. You say "used to"... why don't you go now too? If you want to change your gf's lifestyle, then change yours. She'll adapt from there. Change your eating habits to eat less. Change your workout habits to do more. And maybe find out her interests in some sort of outdoor activity. team sports, or something. Find out what might interest her that she won't consider "exercise" but that will be an activty to get her moving. |
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Worried about my girlfriend (Any way to encourage an obese person to want to lose weight)
You say "used to"... why don't you go now too? If you want to change your gf's lifestyle, then change yours. She'll adapt from there. Change your eating habits to eat less. Change your workout habits to do more. And maybe find out her interests in some sort of outdoor activity. team sports, or something. Find out what might interest her that she won't consider "exercise" but that will be an activty to get her moving. I used to when I was at college but after leaving college It was too expensive (i got it half price while i was studying there) I'd love to go to the gym again now we have money but I'm pretty sure she wouldnt come with me... I'm definately going to cook less though but if were still hungry ( which i imagine we will be until we get used to less food ) we're likely to eat arent we? Oh the willpower needed here! Still half the battle here is persuading her that its a good thing. I'm sure deep down she knows this but just cant see a way to lose the weight. Shes a very clever girl academically and is pretty wise when it comes to most other things so im not sure why shes like this when it comes to her weight. She maybe had a hard time of it when she was younger but like I said i cant really ask her without an arguement happening. Its a shame really because having something in the relationship that we simply *cant* talk about is definately not good. Dan |
#17
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Worried about my girlfriend (Any way to encourage an obese person to want to lose weight)
"Dan B" wrote in message
... Dont get me wrong there, i should have said Trouble is I think she doesn't think she has enough time in the day to do anything like swimming since she has a full time job so exercising apart from taking the dog for a walk which we already do is "out of the question" If not her words, words along the lines she would say. I'm trying to get her to do these exercises remember.. Dan What about getting an exercise bike? Most people watch the tv at least a little every day, a bike can easily be used during that time. I work full time and go to school and I still fit that in to my schedule quite easily. The real problem is that you can't push her if she isn't ready. I spent years being overweight and no amount of talking to me would have done anything except make me mad. The only thing that got me going was my own internal motivation. |
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Worried about my girlfriend (Any way to encourage an obeseperson to want to lose weight)
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#19
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Worried about my girlfriend (Any way to encourage an obese person to want to lose weight)
Dan B wrote:
making excuses for her to fail before she even starts isn't going to help her lose weight. Dont get me wrong there, i should have said Trouble is I think she doesn't think she has enough time in the day to do anything like swimming since she has a full time job so exercising apart from taking the dog for a walk which we already do is "out of the question" If not her words, words along the lines she would say. I'm trying to get her to do these exercises remember.. uh huh. you've said twice now that it's "out of the question" due to time constraints. other people have time constraints. they find time to exercise because it's important to them. you can't make someone lose weight. she'll do it on her own or not at all. |
#20
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Worried about my girlfriend (Any way to encourage an obese person to want to lose weight)
I just read through the list of responses and found most of them to cover
everything I might have said. I didn't see too much about cooking and food, though. If you were to take some responsibility for cooking really good food loaded with veggies and good fats, perhaps she would learn to enjoy healthier foods. Also, environment plays a big role. Some folks love the gym. It takes too much time out of my day. I end up spending more time driving and dressing and showering than I do exercising. My solution was to buy a treadmill and weights for the house. Now, before I get dressed, I exercise and it involves no travel time. I am also sort of messy If you walked into my living room right now, you would find some ten pound weights next to my chair where I watch TV. Without thinking, I will often pick them up and work with them while watching the tube. If you are in front of the TV doing a workout tape or if you are in the kitchen peeling and paring veggies, the total environment will change for her. She may be inspired. Telling her that she needs to lose weight is like telling her the sky is blue. She knows this. Let it be. If she loves you the way that most women love the men in their lives, she will take cues from you. If your free time is spent exercising and she wants to be with you, she will exercise, too. Also, be mindful of problems with depression. Chronic pain can cause depression and there is nothing like the serotonin release from a high carb meal to temporarily put a Band-Aid on it. j "Dan B" wrote in message ... Hello, I've been looking at this newsgroup for a while now and have finally decided to post. Basically I have a girlfriend who is very overweight, A size 24 in UK terms, not sure what that is elsewhere. Not a clue what her weight is because she wont allow us to have scales in the house but I would say she is around 18 stone at 5"2. The trouble is that I can't approach her on the subject because the first time i mention it she will change the subject quickly and if i mention it again then im "going on" and we end up having an arguement and not speaking for the rest of the day. She says that the more i mention it the more she is likely to eat or get upset so I say nothing but I dearly love her and am VERY concerned. I'm worried she will go on to get diabetes (which ultimately killed my father) or heart disease but with her the urgency isnt there since she would probably not get these things until she's "older". I realise that she isnt ever going to be stick thin, and I dont want her to be, but we both know that at the moment she is very overweight. If she could manage to go down a few sizes (or weight if i could convince her to get some scales) i know she would be far healthier. Is there anything I can do to encourage her to lose weight or do i just sit back and watch my lovely baby getting more and more at risk of disease. Thankyou for whatever thoughts you can offer. Dan |
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