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#31
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JMA wrote:
I second that it's an excellent book even though I haven't finished it yet. Speaking of which, I would like to continue the discussion of the Thin For Life book, I just haven't had the time lately to put together a coherent thought with things all crazy around here. I plan on following up soon, maybe tackling keys 2-5 right off the bat this weekend for those still interested. I bought the book because I was enjoying reading the discussion and have been reading it. Now that I'm back from NY I can read more. -- Walking on . . . Laurie in Maine 207/110 60 inches of attitude! Start: 2/02 Maintained since 2/03 |
#32
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"SnugBear" wrote in message .4... JMA wrote: I second that it's an excellent book even though I haven't finished it yet. Speaking of which, I would like to continue the discussion of the Thin For Life book, I just haven't had the time lately to put together a coherent thought with things all crazy around here. I plan on following up soon, maybe tackling keys 2-5 right off the bat this weekend for those still interested. I bought the book because I was enjoying reading the discussion and have been reading it. Now that I'm back from NY I can read more. Super! Your insights are always worth reading I was able to get around to the second chapter as you'll find when you catch up on posts Jenn |
#33
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On Thu, 9 Dec 2004 10:18:27 -0500, "Mary M/Ohio"
wrote: I was intrigued with the idea when I first heard it a few years ago (from Dr. Phil, I think) -- that we remain overweight for some "payoff" reason that is usually unconscious. I had a hard time with that one, feeling as though I would do anything to be thin, and hated being fat. Yet despite *22 years* of trying to get below 200, making more effort toward losing weight than anyone else I knew, I couldn't do it. Now that I'm reading "The Solution" by Laurel Mellin, I'm reminded of this concept because there's a section in there called "The Hidden Benefits of Body Size." I found it intriguing enough to quote here and hope it will spark some thought and conversation: "Maintaining a body size larger than our biologic comfort zone is how we send wordless messages to others. Even if we spend years dieting and sweating off pounds, this voice will express itself through a relentless sabotage that results in weight staying rock solid. "Little or none of this is conscious. We don't *purposely* sabotage our healthy eating and scuttle our exercise plans to keep our weight high, *but it may still be happening.* We seem to spontaneously regain the weight without really knowing why. "What is our challenge? To give that voice words and sound so that it can speak directly and stop expressing itself through extra weight." Then it goes on and gives examples of case studies of people who used their weight to say, "I don't want you to know me. Stay away." or "I feel powerless. Taking up space gives me power." or "Don't expect too much from me." None of these reasons was realized consciously, and some of the people were "aghast" to find out what they were using their weight to say. There's also a box with many common messages people use: "What does your weight say for you? "Don't notice me. I am not important. I am powerful. I feel powerless. I am a good mother. Feel sorry for me. I don't want sex. I am stable and dependable. Don't mess with me. Don't expect too much of me. I am not perfect. Stay away from me. I feel angry. I am afraid to be all I can be. I am not worthy. I have given up. I am loyal to my family. I don't want to grow up. I don't want you to judge me. I reject you. I need space. I need love." I immediately recognized, "I don't want to grow up," and perhaps "I need space," as well as "I need love" and a few more. I want to examine more of these and see which apply -- indeed that's what the author suggests: "Obviously, our weight speaks to the world in paragraphs, not just sentences. If you maintain a slight distance ... saying to yourself, "I wonder what my weight says for me now?" you'll probably come back to this question over and over again, and come up with a different answer each time. All the sentiments that your weight communicates for you can be brought to your awareness and expressed verbally. Each time you use words, not your weight, to express yourself, you'll *need* the extra weight less. Then it becomes easier and easier to attain the weight you've determined is best for your health and happiness." If this rings a bell for any of you, I highly recommend borrowing this book from the library. Again, it's "The Solution" by Laurel Mellin. Mary M 325-163-145 Thanks for posting this Mary. I know there's something in the ideas put forward here, but I've never been able to quite pin down how it applies to me. I strongly suspect that there may be more than just falling off the wagon for me, like you I've struggled to lose weight (for 40 yearsin my case) and never quite got down to where I want to be. I can't relate consciously to any of the things on the list you've quoted, but sometimes I do wonder if I get scared of drawing too much attention to myself - I absolutely *hate* the comments that come when I lose weight, and can feel myself dreading them. In some peverse way, I want to lose weight but I don't want anyone else to notice. Sounds an interesting book - I'm going to look out for it. janice |
#34
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#36
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Leafing through alt.support.diet, I read Ignoramus5102's message of 16
Dec 2004: I get uncomfortable when they start wanting to know how I did it. "So what did you do, go on Atkins?" "What motivated you?" They mean well, so I try to be nice, but it gets old. I've grown weary of trying to explain the concept of "caloric deficit." I am not sure just what is so annoying about these questions. You can always give a one line answer, like "I ate less and exercised". That's what I do. But that sounds a little short, which could be construed as rude. People want to know more than that. Some want to know every detail. The odd thing about this is that I work in a hospital. Nurses and even some doctors seem un-educated in this "eat less, exercise more" thing. Phil M. |
#37
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On Thu, 16 Dec 2004 14:34:20 GMT, "Phil M." wrote:
Leafing through alt.support.diet, I read Ignoramus5102's message of 16 Dec 2004: I get uncomfortable when they start wanting to know how I did it. "So what did you do, go on Atkins?" "What motivated you?" They mean well, so I try to be nice, but it gets old. I've grown weary of trying to explain the concept of "caloric deficit." I am not sure just what is so annoying about these questions. You can always give a one line answer, like "I ate less and exercised". That's what I do. But that sounds a little short, which could be construed as rude. People want to know more than that. Some want to know every detail. The odd thing about this is that I work in a hospital. Nurses and even some doctors seem un-educated in this "eat less, exercise more" thing. Phil M. I think the truth is they're hoping you're going to tell them about some miracle diet or other program that you've been on, that has worked like magic for you and would do the same for them. If they learn the truth, it doesn't seem so appealing. janice |
#38
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On Thu, 16 Dec 2004 14:34:20 GMT, "Phil M." wrote:
Leafing through alt.support.diet, I read Ignoramus5102's message of 16 Dec 2004: I get uncomfortable when they start wanting to know how I did it. "So what did you do, go on Atkins?" "What motivated you?" They mean well, so I try to be nice, but it gets old. I've grown weary of trying to explain the concept of "caloric deficit." I am not sure just what is so annoying about these questions. You can always give a one line answer, like "I ate less and exercised". That's what I do. But that sounds a little short, which could be construed as rude. People want to know more than that. Some want to know every detail. The odd thing about this is that I work in a hospital. Nurses and even some doctors seem un-educated in this "eat less, exercise more" thing. Phil M. I think the truth is they're hoping you're going to tell them about some miracle diet or other program that you've been on, that has worked like magic for you and would do the same for them. If they learn the truth, it doesn't seem so appealing. janice |
#39
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janice wrote:
I think the truth is they're hoping you're going to tell them about some miracle diet or other program that you've been on, that has worked like magic for you and would do the same for them. If they learn the truth, it doesn't seem so appealing. I love to see their eyes glaze over when I say "I walked eight miles a day and ate half the amount of food I had been" -- Walking on . . . Laurie in Maine 207/110 60 inches of attitude! Start: 2/02 Maintained since 2/03 |
#40
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janice wrote:
I think the truth is they're hoping you're going to tell them about some miracle diet or other program that you've been on, that has worked like magic for you and would do the same for them. If they learn the truth, it doesn't seem so appealing. I love to see their eyes glaze over when I say "I walked eight miles a day and ate half the amount of food I had been" -- Walking on . . . Laurie in Maine 207/110 60 inches of attitude! Start: 2/02 Maintained since 2/03 |
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