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"Hidden Benefits of Body Size" (whoops, kind of long)



 
 
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  #11  
Old December 10th, 2004, 12:33 AM
MU
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On Thu, 09 Dec 2004 14:54:03 -0500, Carol Frilegh wrote:

I still don't want sex.


lol
  #12  
Old December 10th, 2004, 12:33 AM
MU
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On Thu, 09 Dec 2004 14:54:03 -0500, Carol Frilegh wrote:

I still don't want sex.


lol
  #13  
Old December 10th, 2004, 05:34 PM
Mary M/Ohio
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"Dally" wrote in message
...
I found the same concept in the book "Fattitudes" by Willard.


I need to get that one from the library.

It was a really useful exercise for me to go through and list the benefits
of being fat. I did it online, actually, and it was horribly revealing.
Even worse because one of the guys on MFW saw it here and thought it was
hilarious and cross-posted it over to MFW so they could laugh at me.


All I can say to that is, consider the source. I have no use for that
newsgroup -- to me, a bunch of misanthropic, self-appointed experts who make
a perfect case study of why *not* to take the ECA stack. I can get better
information from any other source. "Don't walk away from negative people --
run."

The exercise is so useful because it makes you stare the issues straight
in the eye and not let them go unexamined on their way to undermine and
sabotage you. Every problem has a solution, but the solutions are
terribly difficult to work out if you can't even define the problem!


And this is what has frustrated my efforts over the years -- an inability to
define the problem. Good point.

I think we really have to acknowledge the truth that there are good things
about being fat. For example, you get to lie around on the couch eating
bon bons in the evening! I had to face the sad fact that I had to give up
lethargy and eating-for-entertainment if I wanted to stop being fat.
That's a significant choice and I have to make it over and over again.
Would that be possible if I didn't acknowledge the sacrifice? Wouldn't
resentment and sabotage occur if the loss weren't faced?


Yes! "Recreational eating" is a concept I learned in Overeaters Anonymous --
as I learned it, it doesn't mean that you never eat at social occasions (as
some people misinterpret), but that you don't sit around eating a bag or box
of whatever because it's "fun" and "feels good" -- i.e. eating to drown out
negative feelings we don't want to face or don't realize are there -- or
eating as a "hobby." Sitting on the couch and vegging out and numbing out.
And thinking it's fun and a reward. It's not.

By the way, I just finised reading "Passing for Thin" by Frances Kuffel
and it was an astonishingly good book.


I need to read that one too-- thanks for the reminder!

It's roughly broken down into three sections: "The Planet of Fat", "Leaving
the Planet of Fat" and "Arriving at the Planet of Girl." I never got as
obese as she did, and I don't have her food addiction issues in the same
sense, but nearly everything she wrote was familiar. It was an excellent
read.


I am going to look for it-- it sounds like "me." Thanks for sharing your
thoughts -- you often cause me to stop and think about the deeper issues of
getting/being/staying/reversing overweight.

Mary


  #14  
Old December 10th, 2004, 05:34 PM
Mary M/Ohio
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"Dally" wrote in message
...
I found the same concept in the book "Fattitudes" by Willard.


I need to get that one from the library.

It was a really useful exercise for me to go through and list the benefits
of being fat. I did it online, actually, and it was horribly revealing.
Even worse because one of the guys on MFW saw it here and thought it was
hilarious and cross-posted it over to MFW so they could laugh at me.


All I can say to that is, consider the source. I have no use for that
newsgroup -- to me, a bunch of misanthropic, self-appointed experts who make
a perfect case study of why *not* to take the ECA stack. I can get better
information from any other source. "Don't walk away from negative people --
run."

The exercise is so useful because it makes you stare the issues straight
in the eye and not let them go unexamined on their way to undermine and
sabotage you. Every problem has a solution, but the solutions are
terribly difficult to work out if you can't even define the problem!


And this is what has frustrated my efforts over the years -- an inability to
define the problem. Good point.

I think we really have to acknowledge the truth that there are good things
about being fat. For example, you get to lie around on the couch eating
bon bons in the evening! I had to face the sad fact that I had to give up
lethargy and eating-for-entertainment if I wanted to stop being fat.
That's a significant choice and I have to make it over and over again.
Would that be possible if I didn't acknowledge the sacrifice? Wouldn't
resentment and sabotage occur if the loss weren't faced?


Yes! "Recreational eating" is a concept I learned in Overeaters Anonymous --
as I learned it, it doesn't mean that you never eat at social occasions (as
some people misinterpret), but that you don't sit around eating a bag or box
of whatever because it's "fun" and "feels good" -- i.e. eating to drown out
negative feelings we don't want to face or don't realize are there -- or
eating as a "hobby." Sitting on the couch and vegging out and numbing out.
And thinking it's fun and a reward. It's not.

By the way, I just finised reading "Passing for Thin" by Frances Kuffel
and it was an astonishingly good book.


I need to read that one too-- thanks for the reminder!

It's roughly broken down into three sections: "The Planet of Fat", "Leaving
the Planet of Fat" and "Arriving at the Planet of Girl." I never got as
obese as she did, and I don't have her food addiction issues in the same
sense, but nearly everything she wrote was familiar. It was an excellent
read.


I am going to look for it-- it sounds like "me." Thanks for sharing your
thoughts -- you often cause me to stop and think about the deeper issues of
getting/being/staying/reversing overweight.

Mary


  #15  
Old December 10th, 2004, 05:35 PM
Mary M/Ohio
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Default


"JMA" wrote in message
oups.com...

I second that it's an excellent book even though I haven't finished it
yet. Speaking of which, I would like to continue the discussion of the
Thin For Life book, I just haven't had the time lately to put together
a coherent thought with things all crazy around here. I plan on
following up soon, maybe tackling keys 2-5 right off the bat this
weekend for those still interested.


Would love to talk more about Thin for Life! I renewed it and still have
another renewal period left if need be.

Mary


  #16  
Old December 10th, 2004, 05:35 PM
Mary M/Ohio
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Default


"JMA" wrote in message
oups.com...

I second that it's an excellent book even though I haven't finished it
yet. Speaking of which, I would like to continue the discussion of the
Thin For Life book, I just haven't had the time lately to put together
a coherent thought with things all crazy around here. I plan on
following up soon, maybe tackling keys 2-5 right off the bat this
weekend for those still interested.


Would love to talk more about Thin for Life! I renewed it and still have
another renewal period left if need be.

Mary


  #17  
Old December 10th, 2004, 05:39 PM
Mary M/Ohio
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Posts: n/a
Default


"Chris" wrote in message
oups.com...
I've also recently read Passing for Thin. I agree that it's very good,
and very thought-provoking. I also don't have the same sort of
addiction issues, but the issues of changing self-image are very real
to me and are very well handled in the book.

After reading what Mary wrote, I'm going to go over to amazon and order
"The Solution". I really fascinated by the self-image aspect of all
this right now.


Me too! I am having a hard time, even gravitating toward larger clothes that
I think would fit me well, or too-small clothes that look like they would
fit when they're on the hanger, but then it turns out I can't even squeeze
them over my torso. Having a very hard time with what I actually look like
and what fits me. Clothing manufacturers don't help with their arbitrary
sizes, either! Sometimes I swim in a Large -- sometimes I can't even get a
Large onto my pinky!

I am very used to self-identifying as a large person,
and I find I still do that. Some of the messages that I felt my size
conveyed about me we "I am powerful", "I am strong", "I am an
intellectual heavyweight -- someone to be taken seriously", "I am not
superficial in my values and don't care what others think". (I know
these aren't all from the list in the book, which I don't have in front
of me when composing this anyway.)


They weren't on the list, but they are great! They have inspired me to write
my own list, but I think I may start a new post for that because it seems
that something weird happened in this thread and I'd rather start a new one.

I still have a lot of difficult thinking of myself as a fairly small
person, which I really am right now. When I'm shopping for clothing, I
find it very strange to go to the smallest end of the rack. Oddly,
though, size 6 clothes don't look small to me -- they just sort of look
like "my size" -- no different than a size 22 used to look to me when I
looked at it.


I am having these same feelings of disparity.

Of course, now if I look at a 22 it seems really big,


Sometimes a 22 looks like it will fit me fine. :-)

but somehow inside my head I don't really feel much different. I
suppose this is changing a bit over time and will continue to; we shall
see :-).


It is certainly an interesting experience, isn't it -- I feel like I'm
dealing with issues that normal people deal with when they're about 14. :-)
Thanks for your thoughts, Chris -- I am always interested in what you have
to say, and you are a great example for me.

Mary



  #18  
Old December 10th, 2004, 05:39 PM
Mary M/Ohio
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"Chris" wrote in message
oups.com...
I've also recently read Passing for Thin. I agree that it's very good,
and very thought-provoking. I also don't have the same sort of
addiction issues, but the issues of changing self-image are very real
to me and are very well handled in the book.

After reading what Mary wrote, I'm going to go over to amazon and order
"The Solution". I really fascinated by the self-image aspect of all
this right now.


Me too! I am having a hard time, even gravitating toward larger clothes that
I think would fit me well, or too-small clothes that look like they would
fit when they're on the hanger, but then it turns out I can't even squeeze
them over my torso. Having a very hard time with what I actually look like
and what fits me. Clothing manufacturers don't help with their arbitrary
sizes, either! Sometimes I swim in a Large -- sometimes I can't even get a
Large onto my pinky!

I am very used to self-identifying as a large person,
and I find I still do that. Some of the messages that I felt my size
conveyed about me we "I am powerful", "I am strong", "I am an
intellectual heavyweight -- someone to be taken seriously", "I am not
superficial in my values and don't care what others think". (I know
these aren't all from the list in the book, which I don't have in front
of me when composing this anyway.)


They weren't on the list, but they are great! They have inspired me to write
my own list, but I think I may start a new post for that because it seems
that something weird happened in this thread and I'd rather start a new one.

I still have a lot of difficult thinking of myself as a fairly small
person, which I really am right now. When I'm shopping for clothing, I
find it very strange to go to the smallest end of the rack. Oddly,
though, size 6 clothes don't look small to me -- they just sort of look
like "my size" -- no different than a size 22 used to look to me when I
looked at it.


I am having these same feelings of disparity.

Of course, now if I look at a 22 it seems really big,


Sometimes a 22 looks like it will fit me fine. :-)

but somehow inside my head I don't really feel much different. I
suppose this is changing a bit over time and will continue to; we shall
see :-).


It is certainly an interesting experience, isn't it -- I feel like I'm
dealing with issues that normal people deal with when they're about 14. :-)
Thanks for your thoughts, Chris -- I am always interested in what you have
to say, and you are a great example for me.

Mary



  #19  
Old December 10th, 2004, 05:41 PM
Mary M/Ohio
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Posts: n/a
Default


"Ignoramus23449" wrote in message
...
I wish I had some complex psychological issues to report. I became fat
because I liked food and eating,



I used to think this too, but other aspects revealed themselves over time.
Not to say that your weight problem wasn't purely physical -- but just that
I used to think I just "loved food" or "loved sugar."

As for photos, I always wondered what the hell was up with all those
defective cameras. Other people looked like they usually did, but somehow
the lens did something that made me look really fat. :-)

Mary


  #20  
Old December 10th, 2004, 05:41 PM
Mary M/Ohio
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"Ignoramus23449" wrote in message
...
I wish I had some complex psychological issues to report. I became fat
because I liked food and eating,



I used to think this too, but other aspects revealed themselves over time.
Not to say that your weight problem wasn't purely physical -- but just that
I used to think I just "loved food" or "loved sugar."

As for photos, I always wondered what the hell was up with all those
defective cameras. Other people looked like they usually did, but somehow
the lens did something that made me look really fat. :-)

Mary


 




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