Please Help - Eating Disorder

I know I'm taking a big risk of being ridiculed for making this post, but I
have to. My sanity and my physical health are at stake.

I don't have anorexia. I have the first half of bulemia. I binge, but
don't purge. Maybe it *is* a form of bulemia. I took Precose to slow the
metabolism of the foods I ate, so my blood sugar wouldn't spike.

I'm typing through near-hysterical tears. I can't believe what I've done
to myself tonight, and if I told you, you'd probably puke.

I have to wait until morning to call my HMO to see if they cover treatment
for eating disorders. I'd even be willing to be locked up in psych, if it
would mean that I'd get the help I need.

If anyone has experience with, or expertise in this problem, please write
to me at . You may get an e-mail back asking to
confirm that you're a real person and not an auto-spammer.

I can't live like this. It's been going on for 40 years, and I can't take
it anymore. I desperately need help. Please?

Carol, too digusting for words

Carol...

I'm sure you'll get many responses.

But this is not the place to get help.

It is very very very brave to own up to your disorder, and to ask for
help... but the best thing you can do for yourself, is to seek therapy.

You CAN work through this.

But it is a big undertaking. You need the big guns. A therapist that
specializes in eating disorders.

It may help you to know that your disorder "binge eating" is now an
actual diagnosis. It's not the first half of bulimia.

Don't give up. Find a therapist that will work with you.

We'll still be here for daily support... but you need someone with
specialize knowledge to see you through.

All the best,

Jennifer


Damsel in dis Dress wrote:

I know I'm taking a big risk of being ridiculed for making this post, but I
have to. My sanity and my physical health are at stake.

I don't have anorexia. I have the first half of bulemia. I binge, but
don't purge. Maybe it *is* a form of bulemia. I took Precose to slow the
metabolism of the foods I ate, so my blood sugar wouldn't spike.

I'm typing through near-hysterical tears. I can't believe what I've done
to myself tonight, and if I told you, you'd probably puke.

I have to wait until morning to call my HMO to see if they cover treatment
for eating disorders. I'd even be willing to be locked up in psych, if it
would mean that I'd get the help I need.

If anyone has experience with, or expertise in this problem, please write
to me at . You may get an e-mail back asking to
confirm that you're a real person and not an auto-spammer.

I can't live like this. It's been going on for 40 years, and I can't take
it anymore. I desperately need help. Please?

Carol, too digusting for words

"Damsel in dis Dress" wrote in message
...
I know I'm taking a big risk of being ridiculed for making this post, but
I
have to. My sanity and my physical health are at stake.

I don't have anorexia. I have the first half of bulemia. I binge, but
don't purge. Maybe it *is* a form of bulemia. I took Precose to slow
the
metabolism of the foods I ate, so my blood sugar wouldn't spike.

I'm typing through near-hysterical tears. I can't believe what I've done
to myself tonight, and if I told you, you'd probably puke.

I have to wait until morning to call my HMO to see if they cover treatment
for eating disorders. I'd even be willing to be locked up in psych, if it
would mean that I'd get the help I need.

binge eating disorder is a real eating disorder, and it's not as uncommon as
you might think. i do advise you to see your doctor, and perhaps think of
going to a therapist. my therapist and i have spent a lot of time talking
about why i overeat when i do, and for me, it's about "normalizing" my
emotions. for example, i get stressed out about something at work. so i
start to eat. because i *know* what eating feels like. it's satisfying.
it feels good. but then if i stop, i feel the stress again. so i don't
stop, i keep eating, because it's something i'm familiar with, something i'm
comfortable with. even when i've eaten past the point of being full, it
still feels more comforting to eat more than to just deal with the stress.
there's also evidence that chemical differences in our brains can play a
part. which is why it's so easy for some folks here to think it's all about
"will power", while you and i and many others just can't seem to grasp that
elusive trait.

try to look for a therapist with experience in CBT or Cognitive Behavioral
Therapy, which helps you to recognize your destructive thought patterns, so
that you can learn to stop them. you might also find that an antidepressant
will help, though this isn't always the case.

having an eating disorder does *NOT* make you disgusting. you're not alone
in this. i've read your posts here and i know you're a good person, so
don't feel like having this disorder makes you bad or disgusting or anything
like that, ok?

this is the best website i know of for information about eating disorders:
http://www.something-fishy.org/

there are forums where you can talk with people who understand exactly what
you're going through.

and here's a great article about the psychology of binge eating disorder:

http://www.currentpsychiatry.com/200...g_disorder.asp

please, don't take this out on yourself. it's not your fault.

be well...

-kelly

You won't get any ridicule from me. No way lady! Took guts to admit and face
you have a problem. Its the first step towards gettting better. Call first
thing in the morning...See about getting therapy, treatment. Wish I was right
there beside you, I would hold your hand, tell you how brave a lady you are.
How I have come to really think of you as my friend. I will be here to support
you, just as you have been here to support me.

(((((((Carol)))))))))



Damsel wrote:
I know I'm taking a big risk of being ridiculed for making this post, but I
have to. My sanity and my physical health are at stake.

I don't have anorexia. I have the first half of bulemia. I binge, but
don't purge. Maybe it *is* a form of bulemia. I took Precose to slow the
metabolism of the foods I ate, so my blood sugar wouldn't spike.

I'm typing through near-hysterical tears. I can't believe what I've done
to myself tonight, and if I told you, you'd probably puke.

I have to wait until morning to call my HMO to see if they cover treatment
for eating disorders. I'd even be willing to be locked up in psych, if it
would mean that I'd get the help I need.

If anyone has experience with, or expertise in this problem, please write
to me at . You may get an e-mail back asking to
confirm that you're a real person and not an auto-spammer.

I can't live like this. It's been going on for 40 years, and I can't take
it anymore. I desperately need help. Please?

Carol, too digusting for words



-Be gentle with yourselves, for you are in a process; you are changing,
growing, unfolding, and becoming, in manifested form, that which you already
are in essence.-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Atkins since 1/17/04
267/209/135
CCLL-40

On Thu, 17 Jun 2004 19:39:10 -0700, Jennifer
wrote:

You CAN work through this.

But it is a big undertaking. You need the big guns. A therapist that
specializes in eating disorders.

I'll call my medical clinic in the morning. I don't think my shrink's
office (the county) has anyone who specializes in much of anything, except
maybe children's mental health.

It may help you to know that your disorder "binge eating" is now an
actual diagnosis. It's not the first half of bulimia.

That does help. I've always just thought I was some kind of freak of
nature. No one seems to talk about people with this problem. I guess it
hasn't become a fad yet. So, I'm ahead of the crowd, huh?

Don't give up. Find a therapist that will work with you.

I will call as soon as I get up tomorrow.

We'll still be here for daily support... but you need someone with
specialized knowledge to see you through.

Thanks for the ongoing support. I wish I knew why I hated myself so much.
Other people like me, so I can't be that bad, can I?

Thank you,
Carol
--
Fasting BG 128
227/219.5/150 (official weigh-in day: Thursday)
June Challenge Goal: 213
Bernstein Diabetes Solution 5/25/2004
Diabetes Dx 5/15/2001
Diet, Exercise, Oral Medication

In article , damsel-
says...
I know I'm taking a big risk of being ridiculed for making this post, but I
have to. My sanity and my physical health are at stake.

I don't have anorexia. I have the first half of bulemia. I binge, but
don't purge. Maybe it *is* a form of bulemia. I took Precose to slow the
metabolism of the foods I ate, so my blood sugar wouldn't spike.

I'm typing through near-hysterical tears. I can't believe what I've done
to myself tonight, and if I told you, you'd probably puke.

I can't live like this. It's been going on for 40 years, and I can't take
it anymore. I desperately need help. Please?

{{{{{{{{{{ CAROL }}}}}}}}}}

First off, take a DEEP breath. You can't change what has already happened and
you are clearly having a very bad day. Try to get some sleep -- you'll probably
feel a lot better in the morning. You know I'm not saying that to patronize you,
but because I care about you and you've had some times where things can be
overwhelming for a few hours. Forgive yourself for today and deal with this
tomorrow.

You've been making GREAT progress and you've been working VERY hard to keep
things under control. This is a slip-up, but it does NOT define who you are, so
you keep in mind that we care about you and know that you can get through this,
too!

--
Saffire
205/154/125 - 5'1.5"
Atkins since 6/14/03
Progress photo: http://photos.yahoo.com/saffire333

On Thu, 17 Jun 2004 19:44:58 -0700, "metta"
wrote:

binge eating disorder is a real eating disorder, and it's not as uncommon as
you might think.

That's very helpful to know.

i do advise you to see your doctor, and perhaps think of
going to a therapist. my therapist and i have spent a lot of time talking
about why i overeat when i do, and for me, it's about "normalizing" my
emotions. for example, i get stressed out about something at work. so i
start to eat. because i *know* what eating feels like. it's satisfying.
it feels good. but then if i stop, i feel the stress again. so i don't
stop, i keep eating, because it's something i'm familiar with, something i'm
comfortable with. even when i've eaten past the point of being full, it
still feels more comforting to eat more than to just deal with the stress.
there's also evidence that chemical differences in our brains can play a
part. which is why it's so easy for some folks here to think it's all about
"will power", while you and i and many others just can't seem to grasp that
elusive trait.

Good insight. Tonight, I didn't even eat things I like. In fact, I ate
things that I hate. I think I was punishing myself for something. Most
likely for the financial horror that faces us when the bills arrive next
month. I screwed up so bad.

try to look for a therapist with experience in CBT or Cognitive Behavioral
Therapy, which helps you to recognize your destructive thought patterns, so
that you can learn to stop them. you might also find that an antidepressant
will help, though this isn't always the case.

The last guy I saw was a CBT guy. Unfortunately, he was always talking
about what wasn't wrong with me. How can I face, and learn to deal with,
problems I'm not aware of, or that he's not willing to work with me on? I
won't go back to him, but I'll make a commited effort to find someone else
who can help me.

I'm on three antidepressants at present. There aren't enough pixels on
your screen for me to tell you about all the disorders I have. I wish my
mom had had an abortion. But I'm playing the cards I've been dealt, so
life goes on.

having an eating disorder does *NOT* make you disgusting. you're not alone
in this. i've read your posts here and i know you're a good person, so
don't feel like having this disorder makes you bad or disgusting or anything
like that, ok?

Ok.

this is the best website i know of for information about eating disorders:
http://www.something-fishy.org/

there are forums where you can talk with people who understand exactly what
you're going through.

I'll go there later this evening. Right now, I'm very sick to my stomach.

and here's a great article about the psychology of binge eating disorder:

http://www.currentpsychiatry.com/200...g_disorder.asp

Thank you. I'll read that, too.

please, don't take this out on yourself. it's not your fault.

be well...

-kelly

Thank you for the support and the links. I feel so hopeless tonight. I
know that tomorrow will be better.

Carol
--
Fasting BG 128
227/219.5/150 (official weigh-in day: Thursday)
June Challenge Goal: 213
Bernstein Diabetes Solution 5/25/2004
Diabetes Dx 5/15/2001
Diet, Exercise, Oral Medication

On 18 Jun 2004 02:55:56 GMT, (Sunshyne) wrote:

You won't get any ridicule from me. No way lady! Took guts to admit and face
you have a problem. Its the first step towards gettting better. Call first
thing in the morning...See about getting therapy, treatment. Wish I was right
there beside you, I would hold your hand, tell you how brave a lady you are.
How I have come to really think of you as my friend. I will be here to support
you, just as you have been here to support me.

You know what, Sunshyne? You just gave me an idea. The last two words of
your second line were, "call first." That reminded me of a crisis line in
St. Paul. 24 hours. It was called First Call for Help. We have a crisis
line here, too. I'll go call them right now.

(((((((Carol)))))))))

Thanks,
Carol
--
Fasting BG 128
227/219.5/150 (official weigh-in day: Thursday)
June Challenge Goal: 213
Bernstein Diabetes Solution 5/25/2004
Diabetes Dx 5/15/2001
Diet, Exercise, Oral Medication

Hmm, I have first hand experience with what you are talking about. I almost
went a little further with the second half, but didn't go through with it.
I have been binge eating about to pain levels for a long time and sad to
say, I still do it sometimes. I find that I have controlled it somewhat.
If you feel you have gone so far as to get professional help, then I would
do so. Get back on the plan right away. In three or four days it will once
again be behind you as far as what you may have gained...at least that has
been my experience. That is how I look at these episodes. I just try and
tell myself that I am slowing the process, but I will keep plugging away.

I hope you feel better. Don't get too down on yourself. It happens and you
recognized your problem. It is a start.

Take care,
Curt

"Damsel in dis Dress" wrote in message
...
I know I'm taking a big risk of being ridiculed for making this post, but
I
have to. My sanity and my physical health are at stake.

I don't have anorexia. I have the first half of bulemia. I binge, but
don't purge. Maybe it *is* a form of bulemia. I took Precose to slow
the
metabolism of the foods I ate, so my blood sugar wouldn't spike.

I'm typing through near-hysterical tears. I can't believe what I've done
to myself tonight, and if I told you, you'd probably puke.

I have to wait until morning to call my HMO to see if they cover treatment
for eating disorders. I'd even be willing to be locked up in psych, if it
would mean that I'd get the help I need.

If anyone has experience with, or expertise in this problem, please write
to me at . You may get an e-mail back asking to
confirm that you're a real person and not an auto-spammer.

I can't live like this. It's been going on for 40 years, and I can't take
it anymore. I desperately need help. Please?

Carol, too digusting for words

Carol, don't forget to ask for help from whatever God you've found. We've
all tried to fill an empty place inside by bringing in something from the
outside.


"Sunshyne" wrote in message
...
You won't get any ridicule from me. No way lady! Took guts to admit and
face
you have a problem. Its the first step towards gettting better. Call first
thing in the morning...See about getting therapy, treatment. Wish I was
right
there beside you, I would hold your hand, tell you how brave a lady you
are.
How I have come to really think of you as my friend. I will be here to
support
you, just as you have been here to support me.

(((((((Carol)))))))))



Damsel wrote:
I know I'm taking a big risk of being ridiculed for making this post, but
I
have to. My sanity and my physical health are at stake.

I don't have anorexia. I have the first half of bulemia. I binge, but
don't purge. Maybe it *is* a form of bulemia. I took Precose to slow
the
metabolism of the foods I ate, so my blood sugar wouldn't spike.

I'm typing through near-hysterical tears. I can't believe what I've done
to myself tonight, and if I told you, you'd probably puke.

I have to wait until morning to call my HMO to see if they cover
treatment
for eating disorders. I'd even be willing to be locked up in psych, if
it
would mean that I'd get the help I need.

If anyone has experience with, or expertise in this problem, please write
to me at . You may get an e-mail back asking to
confirm that you're a real person and not an auto-spammer.

I can't live like this. It's been going on for 40 years, and I can't
take
it anymore. I desperately need help. Please?

Carol, too digusting for words



-Be gentle with yourselves, for you are in a process; you are changing,
growing, unfolding, and becoming, in manifested form, that which you
already
are in essence.-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Atkins since 1/17/04
267/209/135
CCLL-40