What do I do now?

On Nov 18, 12:03 am, " wrote:
On Nov 17, 5:33 pm, River wrote:



dkw, I appreciate that you took the time to respond. That said,
really your response is very cookie-cutter, I'm not sure why you felt
compelled to say you were an atheist ("God help me" is only an
expression, you know), and I wonder if you really read or believe the
things I've said. First, I *said* in my first post that I'm
exercising, as a person should and will continue to do so,
regardless. I also did this for the months and months I ate 1200-1400
calories and saw no progress downward from 230 lbs.

Just telling me to "learn to count calories better" is thus
extraordinarily unhelpful. I am an intelligent and educated person
and I know exactly what it is I did to get down to my current weight.

I'm now no longer "dieting," I'm only maintaining. All that the 1200
calorie per day "diet" that the whole world seems so stuck on has done
is keep me at 165-170lbs (it fluctuates a bit, as usual) for roughly
the past three months. That's the reason I ate so little in the first
place. NOTHING ELSE WORKED, and no one seems to be HEARING that.
Everyone assumes that if a diet fails, it must be because I wasn't
sticking to it. Well, bull****. I get very sick of hearing that when
I *AM* following the diet, and the weight refuses to budge.

Even my spouse is now afraid to have me lose anymore weight because
I'm already so thin from mid-abdomen up. I was so very heavy before
that I'm quite confused about what on me is fat, what is skin, what is
muscle, what just won't come off, what could be surgically removed (if
money grew on trees), and *why* I have such trouble losing weight in
the first place.

My doctor was also unhelpful, so maybe usenet is just the wrong place
to be looking for such answers. *sigh*

Well, I'm in good shape, and not overweight although I used to be. I
don't pray, yet I have met my goals. If praying helps you stay
focused, go for it, but gods don't really have much to do with weight
loss, calorie intake and exercise. You DID not eat 1200 calories and
stay at 230. Learn to count calories better. 1200 calories for an
extended period of time with any moderate exercise would put you
around 150 pounds, and not anything close to 230 pounds. You were
eating perhaps twice that number of calories. Please do a little
research. This is very common where people like to think they are rare
exceptions that have the metabolism of a stone, but this is not being
honest with yourself. Remember if you are not diligent, especially
with fatty foods, you can ingest hundreds of calories in a couple of
bites. Therein probably lies your problem with understanding why the
weight did not come off.

If you are eating out, it is not hard to misjudge portion sizes or fat
contents for example. If I were serious about losing weight...and I
was, I measured carefully everything I ate and measured the calories
burned by exercise. My weight reduction occurred exactly as the
science of weight loss predicted. It's math, not some mystery or hit
and miss affair how weight is lost. Sorry to be blunt, but what did
you want to hear?...that you need to pray harder or try some other
kind of diet, or that you are some rare medical anomoly. I think not.
All diets work that limit calories and none work if you don't. dkw


Hi River, Oprah Winfrey is a good example of what we are faced with
and that may be why she is loved by so many. We cannot completely
alter the shape of our body. I think she is a pear shape and in
modern America today the apple shape is the only way to go: wide
shoulders, large bosoms, tiny hips and flat belly, long thing legs.
Oprah has dieted and yo-yo-ed for years and still that goal has
evaded her. Even the beautiful Marilyn Monroe would not be acceptable
today because she had a belly and hips. Its pretty cute that your
husband has involved himself in the quest for a wife with a large
bosom. Hey, there is always Victoria's Secret. Have you shopped
there yet? it might make him happier, poor baby.

Exercise is a bit of a miracle for the body. Muscles do grow if you
faithfully use them. Ive seen it in myself. You dont really have to
be heroic just kind of constant. Swimming has given me muscles in my
shoulders and arms that I never saw before and I dont swim more than
20 minutes a time now and then. Its probably a good idea to join a
gym or a pool so that you have access when the spirit hits you. Even
an exercise class or something like that would be a good idea. You,
my dear, are a pear and live in the wrong period of history for great
adulation. However, doctors say that its healthier to be a pear than
to be an apple.

I totally agree with what DKW says. Your weight all boils down to
calories. When I first posted here, someone wrote: hey, thats a
healthy diet your eating but check out the calories in it. Your
weightloss will be slow. I went to fitday.com and reduced my calories
to 1000 per day and in a month I lost ten pounds. That's the way it
is. There is no way around that. Fitday says I need 2426 calories a
day to maintain my weight. Anything under that will result in loss.

So my advice to you is to get a little scale, go to fitday.com and
count your calories. Post your daily menu here. Go to a gym and work
out when you can manage it and check out victoriassecret.com bra
section and cheer up. You've done wonders so far. If you want fast
weight loss, you always can eat under 1000 calories a day for several
weeks. Its not pleasant but you will lose pounds.