Good-bye

"SusanLewis" wrote in message
...

I dunno Dally, I've gotten discouraged just recently. Yes my loss has been
life changing, awesome yadda yadda blahblahblah, but I also realized the
honeymoon is over for me. The real work begins now. The last 50 some odd
lbs
are not going to just drop off of me like magic and frankly it's scary. I
find myself more often than I'd like wondering what it would be like not
walking everyday, what it would be like to go on and eat that big plate of
enchiladas rice and beans with a few flour tortillias slathered in butter
and a big glass of sugar sweetened ice tea. I keep repeating to myself
"nothing taste as good as thin feels" but ya know.. I'm not thin yet and
nothing tastes good anyways. So what's the point? And the bitch about it
all
is, I KNOW this is negative thinking, I of all people know this type of
thinking will not get results that I want for the long term. I just wonder
if I am up to the challenge of the last 50 or not.

Maybe you should plan yourself an enchilada dinner if that's what you're
craving. One thing I learned from Chris's food logs and her success is that
you shouldn't put your entire life on hold. Just make it or go out for it
and then back to the "norm" afterward. It's not like once you reach
maintenance you're going to be able to eat all of that stuff all of the time
anyway.

I went out with friends this weekend unexpectedly and consciously decided to
relax and go "off plan" knowing that I'd wake up the next morning raring to
go back to my healthier WOE and with a killer hangover...
It takes me about 2 days to get over the cravings and until then I just plan
for a few more frequent small meals of the stuff I normally eat 'til I get
normal again.

Ya know, sometimes I really wonder if I am hanging on to the last 50 for
some reason. Why am I not as excited and encouraged as I was when I
started
this?

The novelty wears off? The changes you've made haven't had as much of an
impact on your overall life as you'd hoped? (just a few suggestions,
certainly not trying to imply anything)

Is my fat a security for me?

If you haven't read Fattitudes, you might want to take a look at that. It
does address these issues.

I've *never* been ideal weight, what is
it going to be like, will I like it there, or what if I get obsessive and
go
too thin?

It freaked me out to be at a place in my life where I was "normal" or
"average" or whatever it was I didn't have to worry about my weight
anymore - that's hard after almost 30 years of it being at the forefront of
my existence.

The obsessive thing I went through last Sept-Nov. I was never at an ideal
weight, even as a child. I had no idea what it would be like. As I got
closer to my goal, I wanted to change it and make it lower. I surpassed my
first two goal weights and continued to lose, all the while thinking it was
*fabulous* that the scale kept going down. It didn't matter that you could
count my vertebrae rather easily and that without clothes I looked
disgusting and my husband was completely turned off to me. All that
mattered was that I was thin and getting thinner and I looked great in a
miniskirt (if I wore tights) - how cool is that?!? I actually got to a
point where a doctor refused to perform surgery that I needed (not life or
death but still needed) until I gained some weight.

So, yes, it's definitely a possibility. How to stop it? I dunno for sure.
As it stands now, DH is definitely not going to stay quiet if I get near too
thin again, plus as I get down near where I think I want to weigh I will be
consulting with my current doctor who has proven to have my best interest at
heart. Oh, and I have a faboo group of pals (on and offline) who I've given
permission to give me hell if it appears that I'm headed in that direction
again. I'm choosing not to play around with anorexia again.

Then theres the skin issue to deal with when I do actually make my
goal. How is looking at that skin hanging there gonna affect me everyday?

I got used to it. Weightlifting and time help as does losing slowly, but
age and genetics are the primary factors. It's more noticeable to you than
to others if that helps. Most people never notice my arm skin like I do and
only DH makes reference to the leg stuff. I do plan on surgery once I've
maintained a stable weight for 2 years.

Is
there some emotional or mental hangup I need to address before I can make
the decision to get it the heck off me? I want to fit into my size
14's(which I justify with the fact of my size 12 kid cant even get in
them,
so they are not really "14's") and I've worked so hard and I STILL dont
fit
in them. That fact alone simply ****es me off (lol, I sound like such a
whiner and crazy to boot). Maybe I need to take a break and re evaluate
things. Maybe I need to work harder and read more than I am now. I just
don't know. Suggestions/advice appreciated.

I do recommend the Fattitudes book. It will help you get your mind together
a little more. Maybe you do need a break where you work at simply
maintaining your current position, otherwise I'd shake up the exercise
routine and try something new. That usually motivates me.


Anyways
That's where I stand. Fat and flabby as it may be.

Susan
280/187/140

You're probably a lot less fat and flabby to others that you appear to
yourself You've done a fantastic job and almost reached the century
mark! IIRC you're kind of tall, aren't you? Hang in there!

Jenn

"Ignoramus8546" wrote in message
...


Susan, you already lost 28% of your weight, that is an incredible
amount and much more than what most people are able to do. Many people
who lose this much, regain their weight. There is something about
losing weight that makes our bodies fight back.

Funny how when I said that 9 months ago, you said I was in denial of reality
and that I was making maintenance harder than it had to be.

Took you long enough to figure it out.

Jenn

"Dally" wrote:


Good questions. I guess my first question would be are you really as
far as 50 pounds from your goal? Do you have any idea what your body
fat percentage is? I'm aiming for 23% and I'm at 26% body fat and 26%
body fat is chunky and curvy and has blubber on the thighs... but really
isn't obese. It might just be good enough for me for now.

I think a refeed is in order, although I had the cheeseburger experience the
other night that left me with a carb hangover from hell. I think I am going
to do the enchilada thing tonight and see if I can get that off my mind. I
also think I need to set some mini goals for myself on my actual intake
example.. to make sure I'm getting enough good fats each day and protein
etc, because as it stands right now all I am really focusing on is 0 sugar,
calories and carbs. It's time for me to start looking at this from a
health/nutrient aspect rather than just a weightloss one. Not that it has
totally been only weightloss driven. But that has been main.

It sounds like you've climbed inside my head. All I can tell you is
that "practicing maintenance for a while" is a nice term that works on
the people who ask why I'm eating ice cream. :-)

Dontcha love the food police?

But not as fat and flabby as you used to be. Give yourself a pat on the
back and be open to the idea that there's always a new challenge to work
on. It sounds like the "repeat, forever" parts of the plan need some
attention. :-)

Dally
244/175/168

Agreed and I know I am my own worst critic as well. I think I need to hang
tight for a little while and maybe even go back to babysteps(measuring,
portion cups, fitday like it was a religion etc) like I did a year ago. I
also think you mentioned the Fattitudes book like Jenn did in this same
thread - I will pick a copy up this week. I need something like that that
deals with the mental emotional side of changing your eating lifestyle.

As far as my bf% is concerned I wouldn't have the first clue to what it
was - I told myself in the beginning of my new life I was not going to get
caught up in the #'s but maybe it's time for that to change as well.(see
Annabel? constantly re-learning/changing ones mind...) How do I figure/find
that out?

Thanks for responding

Susan
280/187/140

"JMA" wrote in message
...


Maybe you should plan yourself an enchilada dinner if that's what you're
craving. One thing I learned from Chris's food logs and her success is
that
you shouldn't put your entire life on hold. Just make it or go out for it
and then back to the "norm" afterward. It's not like once you reach
maintenance you're going to be able to eat all of that stuff all of the
time
anyway.


Gonna, tonight in fact. I called my husband and told him "you're taking me
to have mexican food tonight" LOL

The novelty wears off? The changes you've made haven't had as much of an
impact on your overall life as you'd hoped? (just a few suggestions,
certainly not trying to imply anything)

I think in the beginning we all are a little disillusioned as to what Thin
will be like(especially for those of us who never were there)
We see thin/fit women and we think "man she has a great life" But I am
learning it's not always the case. Thin ppl have mortgages, bratty kids, pay
too much for car insurance and bitches for mother-in-laws same as overweight
folks do. Learning that was a little bit of a letdown for me I guess. I
can't say it hasn't gotten ALOT better for me lifestyle wise, because it
has. But a new inground pool would have been nice lol.

If you haven't read Fattitudes, you might want to take a look at that. It
does address these issues.

Will do, this week.

Jenn stuff snipped
I'm glad your back in a good place for you Jenn. I know that I like reading
your posts *alot* more now than I did during your thing you went thru back
then You seem like a sane reasonable person again

You're probably a lot less fat and flabby to others that you appear to
yourself You've done a fantastic job and almost reached the century
mark! IIRC you're kind of tall, aren't you? Hang in there!

Jenn

I am kinda tall, 5'9 and busty, maybe my goal is set too low and I need to
focus on some mini-goals for awhile - Thanks again for responding
and for the support.

Susan
280/187/140

"Annabel Smyth" wrote in message
...
Sorry, but I'm sick of know-it-all Americans telling me how I should or
shouldn't eat when they know nothing of me, or my lifestyle, or even how
British people normally eat.

I am a well traveled citizen of the USA who has lived overseas many years
when I was coming up. Know what I hate? Citizens of other countries making
broad generalizations about 'Americans'. First of all, North America has
two very large countries that operate independently of each other. Then you
get central America and South America. We are all Americans. We are not
all 'know it all Americans'. I fail to see how where my passport was issued
makes me a know it all.

Next, if you ever spent time in this fine country, you might learn a few
things. The USA is a huge country. In the South, it is warm and balmy.
Almost tropical. We are slow, laid back and talk with an accent. We love
food. No social event (even a funeral) is NOT planned around food. Status
for women is derived on how well they feed their loved ones. Cooking is an
art down here. We don't eat to get by. Some of my usenet friends don't
quite get why I can't just regard food as fuel. They have not lived down
south.

The East Coast is so much fun even though I haven't been there in years.
The energy is contagious. It seems to me that the entire East Coast is
connected by trains and planes. It is not unusual for someone to live in
one state and work in another. They are far more formal than we are in the
South. Even in their dress, they always appear to be doing something really
important. After all, in the South, we wear ties for board meetings,
funerals, etc. They wear them because it is expected. Food is not
important on the East Coast. People have other things to do.

The West Coast is so cool. You cannot be on the West Coast without at least
wanting to be cool. It is the home to many, many creative minds. There is
always someone to accept you on the West Coast unless you are simply too
politically conservative. Sunshine and beaches makes everyone health
conscious. Ideas are the currency of the West Coast. I like that. There
is no food to speak of on the West Coast. It is coffee shops and
restaurants that serve minute portions of whatever.

And there are other little spots. Las Vegas - a place I never wanted to go
was the site of a conference a couple of years ago. I went back voluntarily
with a girl friend. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. It is an adult
playground with no rules. I also won a lot of money so that was cool.

I lived in the mountains for a while in Washington State. I also got to see
Idaho and Montana quite frequently. These are places where being rural
doesn't equate to being 'red-necked'. People who live in those states wake
up every morning to snow capped mountains and wheat fields. It is so
beautiful. The people in those states are rather reserved but so warm once
they get to know you. I suspect it is the same way in Great Britain.

And I have lived in Australia where food, frankly, is bad. I never had a
weight problem there but it never occurred to anyone to fry cheese and then
dip in ranch dressing. I lived in Jamaica where you ate what was available.
Jerk chicken is still one of my favorite meals. I have been to many other
countries and love noting how they live and what they have in common with
us.

One thing I know for sure. There are universal truths about people and
their are cultural differences. I never judge a person on the latter. To
be angry at a Brit is one thing. To refer to 'know it all brits' would be
just rude. I know too many of your fellow citizens to make that mistake.

Oh, and when you post your food log, we sort of know how you eat. And
regardless of your nationality, it is how you normally eat - not how the
british eat.

j



I'll lose weight the way I did the first time, before Usenet was ever
invented, all by myself.

Good bye.
--
Annabel - "Mrs Redboots"
90/88/80kg


Sorry to see you go, Annabel. I thought you were very helpful with your
suggestion to me in my "Settled into new Environment" posts. It's a pity
that you haven't found the group as helpful for you. Good luck on your
"solo" effort.

Tonia

julianne wrote:

The East Coast is so much fun even though I haven't been there in
years. The energy is contagious. It seems to me that the entire East
Coast is connected by trains and planes. It is not unusual for
someone to live in one state and work in another. They are far more
formal than we are in the South. Even in their dress, they always
appear to be doing something really important. After all, in the
South, we wear ties for board meetings, funerals, etc. They wear
them because it is expected. Food is not important on the East
Coast.

If you've ever seen us Marylanders attack a picnic table full of steamed
blue crabs and oysters on the halfshell, you'd know that's not true.

--
PL
(320/309/170)
(First mini-goal: 299)



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On 23 Aug 2004 08:48:01 -0700, (Ub Iwerks) wrote:

"Ignoramus8546" wrote in message ...
Some random thoughts...

1. The purpose of posting food logs is to, first, be accountable, and
second, to invite comments.

The purpose is in the mind of the original poster. You are assuming
the poster is inviting comments. For example, no one knows the
purpose for your reply here; perhaps you want to help, perhaps you
want to be seen as an expert, perhaps you have no life and just want
to flood Usenet with your pontification.

the rest snipped

Just curious -- have you been lurking here a while? You seem pretty
ready to pass judgment for someone who's never posted her until today.

Chris
262/141/ (145-150)

"PL" wrote in message
...
julianne wrote:

The East Coast is so much fun even though I haven't been there in
years. The energy is contagious. It seems to me that the entire East
Coast is connected by trains and planes. It is not unusual for
someone to live in one state and work in another. They are far more
formal than we are in the South. Even in their dress, they always
appear to be doing something really important. After all, in the
South, we wear ties for board meetings, funerals, etc. They wear
them because it is expected. Food is not important on the East
Coast.

If you've ever seen us Marylanders attack a picnic table full of steamed
blue crabs and oysters on the halfshell, you'd know that's not true.

How do you gain weight on steamed crabs? Give me some jambalaya, fried fish
with fries or gumbo any day of the week. Frankly, besides being allergic,
crabs are too much trouble to eat.

j

--
PL
(320/309/170)
(First mini-goal: 299)



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On Mon, 23 Aug 2004 19:06:48 GMT, "SusanLewis"
wrote:

Chris keep drumming your poached eggs with ff
cheese into my head.

Good heavens, I never wanted to tell anyone else to eat this! I think
it's weird that I have the same meal so often, really, but I like it
:-). But it's just my own idiosyncracy.

Chris (about to go off and eat poached eggs :-) )
262/141/ (145-150)

On Mon, 23 Aug 2004 16:27:51 -0400, Dally wrote:

but if you are
really craving some rice and beans then put on Sir Mix-a-lot ("red beans
and rice didn't miss her") and eat them!

Hah! I just listened to this song today while on my lunchtime walk!
Thanks to you, Dally, for pointing me to it :-).

(And I second the advice -- just go eat the rice and beans, Susan, and
then get back to your regular WOE.)

Chris (walking with her MP3 for company this week, as Ted is on
vacation)
262/141/ (145-150)