Birthday perspective and random thoughts......

Hi there,

I have been popping in and out lately rarely posting but enjoying many
of your posts, thanks for the smiles, tears, inspiration, tenderness
and "butch up" advice...lol.

I have some reflections on where I have come from and where I am
going. Of course, the LC WOE is why I am here, and the desire to take
better care of myself. I think my previous abuse of my body came from
many places, but the one thing that I think is the most likely reason
is to shield myself from the world and from my own personal best. I
was always waiting for the right time to do something about my weight
and lack of fitness. I don't know what happened many months ago, but I
think it was the combination of the fear of becoming old before my
time, the despair over what I had become and how my life was not what
I would have wished, and how finally, although I always *knew* it was
up to me, I was ready to take the old bull by the horns and by golly I
was going to be the best me I could. Avoidence was not working (does
it ever? lol) and acceptance of what I had become was a step I was not
ready to take. I was simply not the me I was meant to be. And whose
fault was that? MINE!

So, Feb beginning 2003 I told my husband what I was going to do, and
he was welcome to join me or not. (His weight issues are as bad as
mine if not worse) He decided to join me. Several things came into
play. My work has a wellness reimbursement program which I utilized to
join a gym for the first time in eons. We had planned to take a trip
to Mexico in October for our 3rd anniversary, and I didn't want to
feel like an old fat ugly and shamed person. So these things were
perhaps the catalyst to make me take that first step. Thanks to
TinaKaye's website I found this newsgroup which has been the backbone
of this WOE for me, giving ideas on so many food choices and diverse
substitutes that LC has become second nature.

At first we both lost quickly which is typical, and although he ate
much more than I did my husband soon surpassed my loss (Oh bugger) but
I am glad for him. He has lost nearly 60 lbs to date and I have lost
46 (not counting the couple gained in Mexico which is on its way
gone)I have many pounds to go but I feel so much better about myself
it is unbelievable. I feel younger, prettier, sexier, and in control.
(Gee I can't imagine how I will feel when I get to my goal for next
year!)

Getting ready for the trip was fun and difficult. Most of my shorts no
longer fitted as they were too baggy but I found some in the back of
the closet that had been too tight previously. Unfortunately when I
went shopping late this summer I was too late for good shorts!

Mexico was a blast and I enjoyed it so much more than I would have 9
months ago. I gave myself permission to eat what I truly wanted, but
found I substituted side salad for starchy side dishes as a
preference. Probably my worst "sin" came from the beverages I drank,
many margarita's tasted sweet to me in various places, and some did
not. I probably drank most of my carbs that week!

So, today I am 44 years old. Where am I? I am raising two teen girls
(feel sorry for me, really!) and worry about them, but I think they
will be ok (and hopefully I won't be insane). I like my job, I have an
adoring husband, I enjoy my home and pets, and have many wonderful
friends and family. I am really starting to like who I am, and nearly
where I am. Yes, it is a journey, it is all about the journey, and
life is too short to waste. I am not even going to waste a moment
grieving over the time I have already wasted. Next year at age 45 I
hope to be 50 lbs lighter, and I know I have much to learn and to
adjust to get there. It will take dedication over the Maine winter to
come out better than I entered.......hmm I think I have cross country
skis in the shed. Anyhow, I am glad to be here, I am thankful for all
of your help, and while the light snow swirls in the cold night air on
my 44th anniversary of my birth, I look forward to the next year.

And I think we should plan a Northeast get together someplace, in
April perhaps, to rejoice in our comraderie and success, for I have no
doubt. We have months to plan, let's chat about it.

Thanks for listening. You folks mean much to me.

Pam
295/249/199 Oct birthday goal 2004

Happy Birthday, Pamsta!

--
Saffire
205/185/125
Atkins since 6/14/03
Progress photo: http://photos.yahoo.com/saffire333

Happy Birthday! I'm so proud of you and your hubby, keep up the continued
success.
50 pounds in the next year should be a breeze with your attitude
Congrats,
~*~Pie~*~
254/197/150

"Pamsta" wrote in message
om...
Hi there,

I have been popping in and out lately rarely posting but enjoying many
of your posts, thanks for the smiles, tears, inspiration, tenderness
and "butch up" advice...lol.

I have some reflections on where I have come from and where I am
going. Of course, the LC WOE is why I am here, and the desire to take
better care of myself. I think my previous abuse of my body came from
many places, but the one thing that I think is the most likely reason
is to shield myself from the world and from my own personal best. I
was always waiting for the right time to do something about my weight
and lack of fitness. I don't know what happened many months ago, but I
think it was the combination of the fear of becoming old before my
time, the despair over what I had become and how my life was not what
I would have wished, and how finally, although I always *knew* it was
up to me, I was ready to take the old bull by the horns and by golly I
was going to be the best me I could. Avoidence was not working (does
it ever? lol) and acceptance of what I had become was a step I was not
ready to take. I was simply not the me I was meant to be. And whose
fault was that? MINE!

So, Feb beginning 2003 I told my husband what I was going to do, and
he was welcome to join me or not. (His weight issues are as bad as
mine if not worse) He decided to join me. Several things came into
play. My work has a wellness reimbursement program which I utilized to
join a gym for the first time in eons. We had planned to take a trip
to Mexico in October for our 3rd anniversary, and I didn't want to
feel like an old fat ugly and shamed person. So these things were
perhaps the catalyst to make me take that first step. Thanks to
TinaKaye's website I found this newsgroup which has been the backbone
of this WOE for me, giving ideas on so many food choices and diverse
substitutes that LC has become second nature.

At first we both lost quickly which is typical, and although he ate
much more than I did my husband soon surpassed my loss (Oh bugger) but
I am glad for him. He has lost nearly 60 lbs to date and I have lost
46 (not counting the couple gained in Mexico which is on its way
gone)I have many pounds to go but I feel so much better about myself
it is unbelievable. I feel younger, prettier, sexier, and in control.
(Gee I can't imagine how I will feel when I get to my goal for next
year!)

Getting ready for the trip was fun and difficult. Most of my shorts no
longer fitted as they were too baggy but I found some in the back of
the closet that had been too tight previously. Unfortunately when I
went shopping late this summer I was too late for good shorts!

Mexico was a blast and I enjoyed it so much more than I would have 9
months ago. I gave myself permission to eat what I truly wanted, but
found I substituted side salad for starchy side dishes as a
preference. Probably my worst "sin" came from the beverages I drank,
many margarita's tasted sweet to me in various places, and some did
not. I probably drank most of my carbs that week!

So, today I am 44 years old. Where am I? I am raising two teen girls
(feel sorry for me, really!) and worry about them, but I think they
will be ok (and hopefully I won't be insane). I like my job, I have an
adoring husband, I enjoy my home and pets, and have many wonderful
friends and family. I am really starting to like who I am, and nearly
where I am. Yes, it is a journey, it is all about the journey, and
life is too short to waste. I am not even going to waste a moment
grieving over the time I have already wasted. Next year at age 45 I
hope to be 50 lbs lighter, and I know I have much to learn and to
adjust to get there. It will take dedication over the Maine winter to
come out better than I entered.......hmm I think I have cross country
skis in the shed. Anyhow, I am glad to be here, I am thankful for all
of your help, and while the light snow swirls in the cold night air on
my 44th anniversary of my birth, I look forward to the next year.

And I think we should plan a Northeast get together someplace, in
April perhaps, to rejoice in our comraderie and success, for I have no
doubt. We have months to plan, let's chat about it.

Thanks for listening. You folks mean much to me.

Pam
295/249/199 Oct birthday goal 2004

Pam, wonderful post and great insights. So glad you are at a "good place"
in your life.

I hear you the teenagers! (I have a 17 yo boy and almost-13 yo girl.)

A northeast get-together sounds cool. I am in Providence RI.

- Anne

Happy Birthday! Yes, this can be tough, particularly during the long
winter, but you can do it... and so can we!

Thank you for sharing!

347/266/???
Since 8/5/02

--
Nancy Howells (don't forget to switch it, and replace the to send mail).

Great reflections Pamsta !
and a very very happy Birthday to you, although a bit late on my part.

I especially like your very true words.. " Yes, it is a journey, it is
all about the journey, and life is too short to waste. I am not even
going to waste a moment grieving over the time I have already wasted."

Here's to many happy years ahead of you!
~Karen~




On 22 Oct 2003 19:39:31 -0700, (Pamsta) wrote:

Hi there,

I have been popping in and out lately rarely posting but enjoying many
of your posts, thanks for the smiles, tears, inspiration, tenderness
and "butch up" advice...lol.

I have some reflections on where I have come from and where I am
going. Of course, the LC WOE is why I am here, and the desire to take
better care of myself. I think my previous abuse of my body came from
many places, but the one thing that I think is the most likely reason
is to shield myself from the world and from my own personal best. I
was always waiting for the right time to do something about my weight
and lack of fitness. I don't know what happened many months ago, but I
think it was the combination of the fear of becoming old before my
time, the despair over what I had become and how my life was not what
I would have wished, and how finally, although I always *knew* it was
up to me, I was ready to take the old bull by the horns and by golly I
was going to be the best me I could. Avoidence was not working (does
it ever? lol) and acceptance of what I had become was a step I was not
ready to take. I was simply not the me I was meant to be. And whose
fault was that? MINE!

So, Feb beginning 2003 I told my husband what I was going to do, and
he was welcome to join me or not. (His weight issues are as bad as
mine if not worse) He decided to join me. Several things came into
play. My work has a wellness reimbursement program which I utilized to
join a gym for the first time in eons. We had planned to take a trip
to Mexico in October for our 3rd anniversary, and I didn't want to
feel like an old fat ugly and shamed person. So these things were
perhaps the catalyst to make me take that first step. Thanks to
TinaKaye's website I found this newsgroup which has been the backbone
of this WOE for me, giving ideas on so many food choices and diverse
substitutes that LC has become second nature.

At first we both lost quickly which is typical, and although he ate
much more than I did my husband soon surpassed my loss (Oh bugger) but
I am glad for him. He has lost nearly 60 lbs to date and I have lost
46 (not counting the couple gained in Mexico which is on its way
gone)I have many pounds to go but I feel so much better about myself
it is unbelievable. I feel younger, prettier, sexier, and in control.
(Gee I can't imagine how I will feel when I get to my goal for next
year!)

Getting ready for the trip was fun and difficult. Most of my shorts no
longer fitted as they were too baggy but I found some in the back of
the closet that had been too tight previously. Unfortunately when I
went shopping late this summer I was too late for good shorts!

Mexico was a blast and I enjoyed it so much more than I would have 9
months ago. I gave myself permission to eat what I truly wanted, but
found I substituted side salad for starchy side dishes as a
preference. Probably my worst "sin" came from the beverages I drank,
many margarita's tasted sweet to me in various places, and some did
not. I probably drank most of my carbs that week!

So, today I am 44 years old. Where am I? I am raising two teen girls
(feel sorry for me, really!) and worry about them, but I think they
will be ok (and hopefully I won't be insane). I like my job, I have an
adoring husband, I enjoy my home and pets, and have many wonderful
friends and family. I am really starting to like who I am, and nearly
where I am. Yes, it is a journey, it is all about the journey, and
life is too short to waste. I am not even going to waste a moment
grieving over the time I have already wasted. Next year at age 45 I
hope to be 50 lbs lighter, and I know I have much to learn and to
adjust to get there. It will take dedication over the Maine winter to
come out better than I entered.......hmm I think I have cross country
skis in the shed. Anyhow, I am glad to be here, I am thankful for all
of your help, and while the light snow swirls in the cold night air on
my 44th anniversary of my birth, I look forward to the next year.

And I think we should plan a Northeast get together someplace, in
April perhaps, to rejoice in our comraderie and success, for I have no
doubt. We have months to plan, let's chat about it.

Thanks for listening. You folks mean much to me.

Pam
295/249/199 Oct birthday goal 2004

~Karen~
225/189/140ish
start Jan17/03
Started at the gym September/03