Overweight Child

and you know what I always say... don't worry about me... until all of my
personalities decide they don't like you, then look out, Lee
Jangchub wrote in message
...
On Thu, 05 Jan 2006 05:16:32 GMT, "Willow"
wrote:

Psychotic can be good !! *grin*

I guess, but I'm not psychotic LOL! I just called it as I saw it. I
didn't say it the same way others did. I don't walk on eggshells or
tip toe around people and their abusive behavior. I have a huge spot
for children and how their well meaning parents or step parents show
their "love." Just about everyone said the same things I said, but
they all said it softly. Same songs, different birds.

very well put, nobody is questioning your intent, we are trying to help with
methodology, Lee
Willow wrote in message
. net...
Find yourself a good book about teenagers psychology.. There's obviously
big
gaps in your knowledge in that area and that could be disastrous for both
of
you.

Until you accept that and deal with that.. you're wrecking the ship.. What
it boils down to, and what pretty much everybody has told you, is that
you're going at it the wrong way, you're not the person who can help her
with that unless SHE decides you are... and forcing the issue will only
make
things worst.

You mean well, you want to help and that's great, but get infos, see
specialists (see them yourself, don't force her to see them), read books,
make sure you know what you're doing before you destroy her self esteem.

--
Will~

"... so that's how liberty ends, in a round of applause."

Queen Amidala, The revenge of the Syth.


"Lisa M" wrote in message
ups.com...
I'm not sure what's going on with her as far as her body image.
When she got busted sneaking the left over Halloween candy in her
father's closet that she snooped to find, she claimed that she's
not concerned with her weight "right now" and that it is her
"right" to have that candy that she worked hard to get ("work"
= trick-or-treating). Of course, he should have dumped it months
ago...But I found it interesting that she said that she doesn't care
about that "right now". She's wanted "belly shirts" in the
past, and thinks nothing of putting on the shortest skort for school
(which has since been tossed.) Part of my dilemma is that she SAYS she
doesn't care, and acts like she doesn't care. Her particular peer
group don't seem very interested in make-up, clothes or weight.

The reality is that her father and I give her nurturing, which we do in
many ways. I just can't support watching the kid abuse her body and
demand that we support this by handing over the garbage she would
rather eat than the healthy food I'm trying hard to get these kids to
even try.

We've graduated to spinach salads, which even though it takes the
kids a long time to get into them at the dinner table, we are getting
that food into them. I've gotten them to try a couple of new things
which have become part of their food vocabulary. "Core" turkey
stew is another one of these things, which I love. And believe me,
this has been and continues to be a struggle...getting them to even try
something new.

I think I'm forcing the issue because of how painful it was to be an
overweight kid myself, and how I need to work hard to maintain a
healthy weight for myself. Honestly, I believe that part of the
struggle to lose weight is for people to cultivate a positive self
image that was so sorely lacking as kids grew up into overweight
adults, along with learning new eating habits. In concert with giving
her the emotional support she needs, I do believe that offering a
positive role model and better choices is the way to go. Don't we
all need that??

*raises hand to indicate another same story* Lee
Jangchub wrote in message
...
On Sat, 7 Jan 2006 17:39:57 -0600, "Nunya B."
wrote:


"Jangchub" wrote in message
.. .
On Fri, 6 Jan 2006 14:08:17 -0600, "Nunya B."
wrote:

Wow, that's patience. We emailed for a week, talked on the phone for 3
weeks and then had our first date and have been together ever since,
but
only got married 5 years ago.

That's funny! We met online, started phoning, then three weeks later I
said I thought I was crazy, but that I was falling love with him and
he said he was already in love with me! We met in person a few months
later and have not been apart since. I moved from New York to Texas
and never went back! Well, to visit my mother and friends. We've been
married for 13 years and lived together for five.

We were fortunate enough to be within a few hours drive of each other.
Even
though we've been together since our first date, it took me a few months
before I could let things get serious since I was still in the midst of
my
divorce and rather gun shy.

Wow, we are three peas in a pod! I was married, getting a divorce and
living in the same house, but totally apart when I met my current
husband. I was on my way out of here. I wanted to go to Arizona and
see the Grand Canyon. I posted that on a bulletin board I frequented
on Prodigy and this man said to stop off in Texas for dinner. The
rest is history. I swear I had NO intention of getting involved with
anyone again. I really wanted to be alone and with freedom and
solace. It worked out very well, I must say.