Should I invite an obese friend here?

A Ross wrote:
In article , Dally
wrote:


A friend is morbidly obese. Super obese. 500 pound
range is my guess.

Snip

I think it's great that you think enough of this
person, and are comfortable enough with her, to want to
give her a tool to use to help lose weight. I wish I
could do the same for my mother.

It may help if you start a conversation with her about
your online friends and the amount of support and
advice they have given you during your journey. Maybe
she'll be interested and ask more--maybe she won't. But
that will put the ball in her court, and you won't
sound preachy.

I know I lurked for a good long time before I ever made
my first post here, so I was pretty familiar with
personalities and WOEs. I would suggest she do
something similar--if only to avoid the trolls and
know-it-alls.

Anyway, go ahead and invite her in! There's a lot of WW
and exWW WOEs here, maybe we can help her with points!

Amy

Thanks, Amy, that's a particularly good piece of advice about lurking
and explaining the merits of using a killfile. This group is completely
different when I attempt to access it via google groups - much more wild
and woolley and hard to spot good things.

Dally

A Ross wrote:
In article , Dally
wrote:


A friend is morbidly obese. Super obese. 500 pound
range is my guess.

Snip

I think it's great that you think enough of this
person, and are comfortable enough with her, to want to
give her a tool to use to help lose weight. I wish I
could do the same for my mother.

It may help if you start a conversation with her about
your online friends and the amount of support and
advice they have given you during your journey. Maybe
she'll be interested and ask more--maybe she won't. But
that will put the ball in her court, and you won't
sound preachy.

I know I lurked for a good long time before I ever made
my first post here, so I was pretty familiar with
personalities and WOEs. I would suggest she do
something similar--if only to avoid the trolls and
know-it-alls.

Anyway, go ahead and invite her in! There's a lot of WW
and exWW WOEs here, maybe we can help her with points!

Amy

Thanks, Amy, that's a particularly good piece of advice about lurking
and explaining the merits of using a killfile. This group is completely
different when I attempt to access it via google groups - much more wild
and woolley and hard to spot good things.

Dally

"Dally" wrote in message
...
A Ross wrote:
In article , Dally
wrote:


A friend is morbidly obese. Super obese. 500 pound
range is my guess.

Snip

I think it's great that you think enough of this
person, and are comfortable enough with her, to want to
give her a tool to use to help lose weight. I wish I
could do the same for my mother.

It may help if you start a conversation with her about
your online friends and the amount of support and
advice they have given you during your journey. Maybe
she'll be interested and ask more--maybe she won't. But
that will put the ball in her court, and you won't
sound preachy.

I know I lurked for a good long time before I ever made
my first post here, so I was pretty familiar with
personalities and WOEs. I would suggest she do
something similar--if only to avoid the trolls and
know-it-alls.

Anyway, go ahead and invite her in! There's a lot of WW
and exWW WOEs here, maybe we can help her with points!

Amy

Thanks, Amy, that's a particularly good piece of advice about lurking
and explaining the merits of using a killfile. This group is completely
different when I attempt to access it via google groups - much more wild
and woolley and hard to spot good things.

Dally

But there are some definite advantages to using google, especially at first.
She can go in and search topics of interest, etc.

Jenn
that would be the second advantage

A friend is morbidly obese. Super obese. 500 pound range is my guess.

IMO she needs psychological help, not a usenet NG. People don't get to be 500
pounds without serious psychological problems. She doesn't need 'support' she
needs professional help. Sending her here may very well send her over the edge
w/ the way that some ppl choose to be abusive. And picking on a fat chick
considering (or who has considered) weight loss surgery would just make their
day.

~Kat


"The early bird gets the worm, the second mouse gets the cheese."

A friend is morbidly obese. Super obese. 500 pound range is my guess.

IMO she needs psychological help, not a usenet NG. People don't get to be 500
pounds without serious psychological problems. She doesn't need 'support' she
needs professional help. Sending her here may very well send her over the edge
w/ the way that some ppl choose to be abusive. And picking on a fat chick
considering (or who has considered) weight loss surgery would just make their
day.

~Kat


"The early bird gets the worm, the second mouse gets the cheese."

One dark day on Usenet, owza (Jarkat2002) said:

A friend is morbidly obese. Super obese. 500 pound range is my guess.

IMO she needs psychological help, not a usenet NG. People don't get to be 500
pounds without serious psychological problems. She doesn't need 'support' she
needs professional help.

Hmm, that's a good point. My answer to Dally reflected my dealings
with my own situation, but there's a big difference between 275 and
500, beyond actual numbers.

Sending her here may very well send her over the edge
w/ the way that some ppl choose to be abusive. And picking on a fat chick
considering (or who has considered) weight loss surgery would just make their
day.

I'm not sure I agree with this -- maybe I'm just missing something,
but I've found just about everyone to be supportive, once one accepts
that they have a weight issue and need to do something about it...


--
J.J. in WA * 275/230/225 (mini)
(COLD to HOT for e-mail)

One dark day on Usenet, owza (Jarkat2002) said:

A friend is morbidly obese. Super obese. 500 pound range is my guess.

IMO she needs psychological help, not a usenet NG. People don't get to be 500
pounds without serious psychological problems. She doesn't need 'support' she
needs professional help.

Hmm, that's a good point. My answer to Dally reflected my dealings
with my own situation, but there's a big difference between 275 and
500, beyond actual numbers.

Sending her here may very well send her over the edge
w/ the way that some ppl choose to be abusive. And picking on a fat chick
considering (or who has considered) weight loss surgery would just make their
day.

I'm not sure I agree with this -- maybe I'm just missing something,
but I've found just about everyone to be supportive, once one accepts
that they have a weight issue and need to do something about it...


--
J.J. in WA * 275/230/225 (mini)
(COLD to HOT for e-mail)

JMA wrote:
"Dally" wrote in message
...

What I want to know, and the reason I'm posting this here is, do you
think I should approach her with advice? This group is so strong, so
powerful, so knowledgeable, so supportive... should I get her in here?
I'm not one to proselytize. When she said she was having surgery I just
said "good luck" rather than tried to talk her out of it (and I've tried
hard to talk people out of it online before.)

She knows I've lost 65 pounds over the past two years, but a.) 65 pounds
in two years seems so slow it's not worth doing from her perspective and
b.) I was never morbidly obese so what would I know? She's never asked
me how I did it. I saw her eating cookies right before the surgery and
she laughed abashedly and said she had to get them while she could. (I
neither commented nor judged, except to think that she wasn't quite
ready to do this yet.)


If you don't have a problem letting her into "your world" so to speak, then
you can't really do harm by recommending it. You could just let her know
that this was one of the tools that has helped you to succeed thus far.

I like her and would be happy to have her in "my world" (LOL, as if she
weren't already, did I mention we both belong to the same small church
and our husbands are buddies?)

The only problem is this thread. Oh my God, I described her so cruelly
if she comes in here and sees this. I mean, my estimate of 500 pounds
is probably wildly off - I could never judge people's weight. When I
weighed 244 I felt like I was pudgy. (Pictoral evidence suggests
otherwise, BTW.) What if she only weighs 325 and sees that? I honestly
can't gauge weight. (CB, if you're reading this, consider it an apology
.... as well as an advance taste of just how cruel usenet can be. But
please believe me when I say there's value along with the harshness.)

I refer friends who want dieting and exercise advice regardless of how much
they need to lose. Keep in mind I live in the middle of nowhere with very
few non-Internet resources.

I think that the resources offered by the knowledge in this group are so
far superior to what people can find on their own that it's shocking.

Dally

JMA wrote:
"Dally" wrote in message
...

What I want to know, and the reason I'm posting this here is, do you
think I should approach her with advice? This group is so strong, so
powerful, so knowledgeable, so supportive... should I get her in here?
I'm not one to proselytize. When she said she was having surgery I just
said "good luck" rather than tried to talk her out of it (and I've tried
hard to talk people out of it online before.)

She knows I've lost 65 pounds over the past two years, but a.) 65 pounds
in two years seems so slow it's not worth doing from her perspective and
b.) I was never morbidly obese so what would I know? She's never asked
me how I did it. I saw her eating cookies right before the surgery and
she laughed abashedly and said she had to get them while she could. (I
neither commented nor judged, except to think that she wasn't quite
ready to do this yet.)


If you don't have a problem letting her into "your world" so to speak, then
you can't really do harm by recommending it. You could just let her know
that this was one of the tools that has helped you to succeed thus far.

I like her and would be happy to have her in "my world" (LOL, as if she
weren't already, did I mention we both belong to the same small church
and our husbands are buddies?)

The only problem is this thread. Oh my God, I described her so cruelly
if she comes in here and sees this. I mean, my estimate of 500 pounds
is probably wildly off - I could never judge people's weight. When I
weighed 244 I felt like I was pudgy. (Pictoral evidence suggests
otherwise, BTW.) What if she only weighs 325 and sees that? I honestly
can't gauge weight. (CB, if you're reading this, consider it an apology
.... as well as an advance taste of just how cruel usenet can be. But
please believe me when I say there's value along with the harshness.)

I refer friends who want dieting and exercise advice regardless of how much
they need to lose. Keep in mind I live in the middle of nowhere with very
few non-Internet resources.

I think that the resources offered by the knowledge in this group are so
far superior to what people can find on their own that it's shocking.

Dally

byakee wrote:

One dark day on Usenet, owza (Jarkat2002) said:


A friend is morbidly obese. Super obese. 500 pound range is my guess.

IMO she needs psychological help, not a usenet NG. People don't get to be 500
pounds without serious psychological problems. She doesn't need 'support' she
needs professional help.


Hmm, that's a good point. My answer to Dally reflected my dealings
with my own situation, but there's a big difference between 275 and
500, beyond actual numbers.

When I guessed 500 I was reflecting that she was in the area involving
disability from the obesity. I really have no idea what the actual
number is. I honestly don't care, either, but I'm cringing with horror
that she's likely to see this and be upset if she only weighs 350 or
something.

Sending her here may very well send her over the edge
w/ the way that some ppl choose to be abusive. And picking on a fat chick
considering (or who has considered) weight loss surgery would just make their
day.

My guess is that she's been picked on for being fat before. It's not
like she hasn't noticed and she's thick-skinned enough to deal with it.

I'm not sure I agree with this -- maybe I'm just missing something,
but I've found just about everyone to be supportive, once one accepts
that they have a weight issue and need to do something about it...

I called her tonight and gave a thumbnail description of usenet -
needing flame-retardent underwear, newbie mistakes, spam and trolls...
she had a positive experience with another group once (sounded like a
yahoo group) and that should serve as an introduction in any case.

Dally