Lots of compliments/Body image

I love this, too, rosie. I will print out many copies and post it
everywhere for me.

Thanks!

--
Linda
296/203/160
LC since Oct. 13, 2003
http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html


" rosie" wrote in message
...
i don't know who wrote this but i just love it!


MY NEW PLAN



My New Policy

Throw out all the non-essential numbers. This includes age, weight
and
height. Let the doctor worry about them - that is why you pay him.

Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. If you
really
need a grouch, there are probably a few of your relatives to do the
job.

Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Just never let your brain idle.

Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. Laugh
so
much that you can be tracked in the store by your distinctive
laughter.

The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who
is
with you our entire life is yourself.

Surround yourself with what you love, whether it is family, pets,
keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your r!
refuge.

Cherish your health. If it is good - preserve it. If it is
unstable -
improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve - get help.

Don't take guilt trips. Go to the mall, the next county, a foreign
country... but not to guilt.

Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
And remember that Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
take... but by the moments that take our breath away!

Thanks, Saffire. I have always had difficulty accepting compliments, but
not criticism. Well, maybe criticism from 'trolls.' LOL!

--
Linda
296/203/160
LC since Oct. 13, 2003
http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html


"Saffire" wrote in message
...
In article ,
mslew64
@hotmail.com says...
School started back up this week, and I saw a lot of my colleagues for
the
first time after being out all summer. I was almost embarrassed by all
the
compliments they were giving me (almost, but not too much! LOL). They
all
said that I look fantastic and my supervisor even said that I seem to
have a
'glow' about me. I figured out that I'd lost close to 25 pounds just
since
school let out at the end of May. I guess 25 pounds does make a
difference.

What wonderful, positive reinforcement! You've done an EXCELLENT job and
you
SHOULD be proud!

--
Saffire
205/149/125 - 5'1.5"
Atkins since 6/14/03
Progress photo: http://photos.yahoo.com/saffire333

"Lady o' the house" wrote in message
...
School started back up this week, and I saw a lot of my colleagues for the
first time after being out all summer. I was almost embarrassed by all
the
compliments they were giving me (almost, but not too much! LOL).

Nice and congrats
I did experience the opposite actually. My being fat was a taboo issue, so
people were very hesitant to congratulate me, or even acknowledge my weight
loss. To date, my father still has not even mentionned it for instance,
though I know indirectly that he is aware of it. I got my first comments
from a friend who has an history of social blunders, he was the first one to
take notice, after I had lost my first 30 pounds. That started people on
talking openly about it, though it's not like I get constant comments.

They all said that I look fantastic and my supervisor even said that I
seem to have a
'glow' about me. I figured out that I'd lost close to 25 pounds just
since
school let out at the end of May. I guess 25 pounds does make a
difference.

25 pounds do make a whole world of difference. The glowing part is also from
your feeling better.

It really lifted my spirits. I told DH that I know the scale shows a
93-pound loss, but when I look in the mirror, I still see this 'blob' of a
person. I'm beginning to see how anorexic people can look at themselves
and
fail to see how thin they really are.

Yes, that's a common problem, especially with quick weight loss (for
example, for people who get bariatric surgery). I keep oscillating between
feeling as fat as I was and feeling slim. Of course, I get surprised
whenever I look at myself closely in the mirror, because the truth is that
I'm merely in between right now, almost overweight, not slim, but no longer
morbidly obese.
The inability to adjust yourself to your new body and to have the proper
mental image for it is actually one of the cause people fall off their diet.
On the other hand, getting their mind and body together is what allow many
people to successfully keep the loss. So, it's worth working at your self
perception. If only because it will make you feel good.
Some authors suggest looking at yourself naked in the mirror daily, in a
neutral-loving fashion. Like, inspecting yourself, taking note of what has
improved and what you actually like in yourself. One other talks of a
cabinet she had built, with four-way mirrors so her patients could look at
themselves from all angles.
Other authors suggest sports that enhance self perception, such as martial
arts, tai chi or yoga.
That's maybe where you can benefit from some of the books on the non-diet
approach, because they are usually much better on this part than most diet
books which tend to neglect psychological issues. If you don't mind
feminism, Fat is a Feminist Issue by Susie Orbach has some interresting
analysis on women (though I think it applies to men with minimal
translation) relationships to their thin and fat bodies. Many of the books
that deal with overeating attempt to cover the part about accepting your
slim body and giving up your fat one.

Do I need to see a doctor about my self-image problem, or does it get
better
eventually?

It depends. It's like puberty. Some people take in their new body features
for granted and move on, while others go through hellish years while they
adjust. Think of it like going through puberty again. Your body is changing,
how people see it is also changing, you're becoming more sexual and
attractive and what you perceive of yourself is badly in sync with what
others see.
Sometimes, it gets better on its own, sometimes it gets better with some
pain, and sometimes it doesn't. It's hard to predict, it depends on you. But
*if* you feel like it's hard or not satisfying or even if you worry about
it, that's certainly something a good psychologist can help you with. I
would especially consider one with a specialty in eating disorders, since
treating self-image distortion is always part of the cure for these.

I am worried because I am starting to obsess over the scale.

That's the same symptom. Since you have troubles defining your body and
evaluating, you have to settle for putting a number on it as its "value".
Once you have managed to inhabit trully your new body, the scale won't
matter than much, what will matter is how well you feel inside of yourself.
Gaining weight then translates as feeling unwell in your body, instead of as
a number on the scale.

I've been thinking about going on maintenance for awhile and giving my
'mind' a break.

That might be a good idea. Especially if you have a past history of binges
or psychological issues. You can only stretch so far the distance between
your mind and body before you put them in sync again. Going in maintenance
for a short while, and working at your mind (yourself or with a
psychologist) in the meantime might help.

"Lady o' the house" wrote in message
...
Thanks, Becky. I don't think you're being too harsh at all. I KNOW that
I
was in denial for years. Even when I would look in the mirror, I couldn't
or wouldn't see how big I'd gotten.

Actually, most obese people look at their *face* in the mirror. Most of us
have become very good at ignoring that we have a body bellow our head. It
took me a long while to realize how fat I had become, because I was only
looking at the face, and I was fortunate enough not to gain much fat in that
area.

It had gotten to the point that I
couldn't stand to have my picture taken. If I did manage to get my
picture
done, I refused to look at it since I would end up crying over it. But
that
was so long ago. I don't feel that way anymore.

Same here. Pictures are killers because you can't ignore your body on them.
Movies are even worse.

And, no, I'm not very tall. I'm 5'7", pretty average, so I'm not thin by
any stretch of the imagination. And I know that and accept that reality,
and I'm changing it.

One of the problem we all face is you are in the middle grounds right now.
This means you're looking different to different people. The people who know
you perceive you as slimmER, and you will get very positive feedback. But
the people who don't know you still preceive you as fat (which is why I
think fat acceptance can benefit dieters on non-dieters alike, because most
dieters are *also* fat a good deal of the way down, and we can do without
the negative feedback from strangers). So, if you own self image is not
firmly set, you're going to oscillate all the time, depending on what the
other people are showing of yourself...

Thanks for all of your advice, Lictor.

--
Linda
296/203/160
LC since Oct. 13, 2003
http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html

"Lictor" wrote in message
...
"Lady o' the house" wrote in message
...
Thanks, Becky. I don't think you're being too harsh at all. I KNOW
that
I
was in denial for years. Even when I would look in the mirror, I
couldn't
or wouldn't see how big I'd gotten.

Actually, most obese people look at their *face* in the mirror. Most of us
have become very good at ignoring that we have a body bellow our head. It
took me a long while to realize how fat I had become, because I was only
looking at the face, and I was fortunate enough not to gain much fat in
that
area.

It had gotten to the point that I
couldn't stand to have my picture taken. If I did manage to get my
picture
done, I refused to look at it since I would end up crying over it. But
that
was so long ago. I don't feel that way anymore.

Same here. Pictures are killers because you can't ignore your body on
them.
Movies are even worse.

And, no, I'm not very tall. I'm 5'7", pretty average, so I'm not thin
by
any stretch of the imagination. And I know that and accept that
reality,
and I'm changing it.

One of the problem we all face is you are in the middle grounds right now.
This means you're looking different to different people. The people who
know
you perceive you as slimmER, and you will get very positive feedback. But
the people who don't know you still preceive you as fat (which is why I
think fat acceptance can benefit dieters on non-dieters alike, because
most
dieters are *also* fat a good deal of the way down, and we can do without
the negative feedback from strangers). So, if you own self image is not
firmly set, you're going to oscillate all the time, depending on what the
other people are showing of yourself...

Lady it takes a bit of time for somepeoples self image to catch up with
real image. I know it took me awhile. I know the people on this board and
at lowcarbretreat helped me tremendously with their honest compliments.
Another thing that helped and may sound weird to some is I took several
pictures of me then covered the face. Pictures were from all angles and you
know, the person in those pictures had a nice body. Eventually that
transferred to me realizing I looked pretty good. Know that's not much but
it did help me. Good luck, you have done great and you deserve to feel
great about how you look. Also trying on clothes that you never expected to
wear helps too.

Sheila
"Lady o' the house" wrote in message
...
School started back up this week, and I saw a lot of my colleagues for the
first time after being out all summer. I was almost embarrassed by all
the
compliments they were giving me (almost, but not too much! LOL). They
all
said that I look fantastic and my supervisor even said that I seem to have
a
'glow' about me. I figured out that I'd lost close to 25 pounds just
since
school let out at the end of May. I guess 25 pounds does make a
difference.

Last night, I saw a very good friend for the first time in about a year.
She works at another school in our system and I rarely get to see her.
Anyway, she just gushed with compliments!

It really lifted my spirits. I told DH that I know the scale shows a
93-pound loss, but when I look in the mirror, I still see this 'blob' of a
person. I'm beginning to see how anorexic people can look at themselves
and
fail to see how thin they really are.

Do I need to see a doctor about my self-image problem, or does it get
better
eventually? I am worried because I am starting to obsess over the scale.
I've been thinking about going on maintenance for awhile and giving my
'mind' a break.

Any advice?

--
Linda
296/203/160
LC since Oct. 13, 2003
http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html

Lady it takes a bit of time for somepeoples self image to catch up with
real image. I know it took me awhile. I know the people on this board and
at lowcarbretreat helped me tremendously with their honest compliments.
Another thing that helped and may sound weird to some is I took several
pictures of me then covered the face. Pictures were from all angles and you
know, the person in those pictures had a nice body. Eventually that
transferred to me realizing I looked pretty good. Know that's not much but
it did help me. Good luck, you have done great and you deserve to feel
great about how you look. Also trying on clothes that you never expected to
wear helps too.

Sheila
"Lady o' the house" wrote in message
...
School started back up this week, and I saw a lot of my colleagues for the
first time after being out all summer. I was almost embarrassed by all
the
compliments they were giving me (almost, but not too much! LOL). They
all
said that I look fantastic and my supervisor even said that I seem to have
a
'glow' about me. I figured out that I'd lost close to 25 pounds just
since
school let out at the end of May. I guess 25 pounds does make a
difference.

Last night, I saw a very good friend for the first time in about a year.
She works at another school in our system and I rarely get to see her.
Anyway, she just gushed with compliments!

It really lifted my spirits. I told DH that I know the scale shows a
93-pound loss, but when I look in the mirror, I still see this 'blob' of a
person. I'm beginning to see how anorexic people can look at themselves
and
fail to see how thin they really are.

Do I need to see a doctor about my self-image problem, or does it get
better
eventually? I am worried because I am starting to obsess over the scale.
I've been thinking about going on maintenance for awhile and giving my
'mind' a break.

Any advice?

--
Linda
296/203/160
LC since Oct. 13, 2003
http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html

Thanks for the idea about the pics, Sheila. I think I will give it a try.
I'm beginning to feel a little 'better' about my body image. I appreciate
the compliments, too!

--
Linda
296/200/160
LC since Oct. 13, 2003
http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html


"ARlady" wrote in message
...
Lady it takes a bit of time for somepeoples self image to catch up with
real image. I know it took me awhile. I know the people on this board and
at lowcarbretreat helped me tremendously with their honest compliments.
Another thing that helped and may sound weird to some is I took several
pictures of me then covered the face. Pictures were from all angles and
you
know, the person in those pictures had a nice body. Eventually that
transferred to me realizing I looked pretty good. Know that's not much
but
it did help me. Good luck, you have done great and you deserve to feel
great about how you look. Also trying on clothes that you never expected
to
wear helps too.

Sheila
"Lady o' the house" wrote in message
...
School started back up this week, and I saw a lot of my colleagues for
the
first time after being out all summer. I was almost embarrassed by all
the
compliments they were giving me (almost, but not too much! LOL). They
all
said that I look fantastic and my supervisor even said that I seem to
have
a
'glow' about me. I figured out that I'd lost close to 25 pounds just
since
school let out at the end of May. I guess 25 pounds does make a
difference.

Last night, I saw a very good friend for the first time in about a year.
She works at another school in our system and I rarely get to see her.
Anyway, she just gushed with compliments!

It really lifted my spirits. I told DH that I know the scale shows a
93-pound loss, but when I look in the mirror, I still see this 'blob' of
a
person. I'm beginning to see how anorexic people can look at themselves
and
fail to see how thin they really are.

Do I need to see a doctor about my self-image problem, or does it get
better
eventually? I am worried because I am starting to obsess over the
scale.
I've been thinking about going on maintenance for awhile and giving my
'mind' a break.

Any advice?

--
Linda
296/203/160
LC since Oct. 13, 2003
http://home.att.net/~lewis_linda/index.html

Lady o' the house wrote:
Thanks for the idea about the pics, Sheila. I think I will give it a try.
I'm beginning to feel a little 'better' about my body image. I appreciate
the compliments, too!

Think of this way -- your body image is broken and it needs fixing. If
you have a video camera or can borrow one from a friend, have someone
shoot you doing some normal stuff, like walking around the house,
gardening, getting on your bike, whatever. It's amazing how much more of
an impact video has. For some reason, it's more '3D'. I think a lot of
body image stuff takes retraining the brain. Visual lessons sink in
better than trying to talk yourself into it.

You might also imagine that your best friend had lost a bunch of weight
and was looking great. How would you treat her? Then treat yourself that
way.

As for therapy, I think that if someone is otherwise confident and has
good self-esteem in other areas of their life, then their body image will
catch up to the rest sooner or later. For those who have a hard time
cutting themselves a break and holding themselves in esteem, therapy can
be useful if they can find someone they can feel comfortable with.

Dan
325/199/180
Atkins since 1/1/02 (yeah, it was a New Year's Resolution)
Besetting sins: good beer, German bread, and Krispy Kremes

Lady o' the house wrote:
Thanks for the idea about the pics, Sheila. I think I will give it a try.
I'm beginning to feel a little 'better' about my body image. I appreciate
the compliments, too!

Think of this way -- your body image is broken and it needs fixing. If
you have a video camera or can borrow one from a friend, have someone
shoot you doing some normal stuff, like walking around the house,
gardening, getting on your bike, whatever. It's amazing how much more of
an impact video has. For some reason, it's more '3D'. I think a lot of
body image stuff takes retraining the brain. Visual lessons sink in
better than trying to talk yourself into it.

You might also imagine that your best friend had lost a bunch of weight
and was looking great. How would you treat her? Then treat yourself that
way.

As for therapy, I think that if someone is otherwise confident and has
good self-esteem in other areas of their life, then their body image will
catch up to the rest sooner or later. For those who have a hard time
cutting themselves a break and holding themselves in esteem, therapy can
be useful if they can find someone they can feel comfortable with.

Dan
325/199/180
Atkins since 1/1/02 (yeah, it was a New Year's Resolution)
Besetting sins: good beer, German bread, and Krispy Kremes