"You must feel GREAT!"

I just ran into a friend at the gym and she exclaimed, "don't you just
feel great now that you've lost all this weight?"

Umm, no.

First of all, I didn't feel bad when I was fat. I was strong and active
and not suffering from any illnesses. Second of all, I still feel exactly
like me. I look better, but don't really care that much about my looks
(aside from my cuticles.) :-)

Thirdly, I'm actually a bit tired from all this exercise and trying to
shoe-horn it into my life whether it fits or not (and even after a solid
year of it I sometimes just can't fit it in easily) and I'm also a bit
resentful of never being able to eat unrestrainedly for entertainment.

Being non-fat costs me something. It's a trade-off. Am I happier
now? Not really. Am I healthier now? Not noticeably (though most
likely in the long run.)

I'm trying to figure out what losing all this weight has gotten
me. Because right now it's a pain in the ass: I have a vanishingly small
wardrobe of things that fit, for example, and my skin is literally striped
from the stretch marks compacting.

The only benefits I can really come up with a

1.) Better athletic endurance/wind for functional activities like playing
with the kids or gardening.

2.) Annoying (but not seriously painful) knee pain and plantar fasciatis
pain is gone.

3.) A bit better confidence in social situations: I don't feel like
they're discounting me because I must be stupid (the fat/stupid connection
is terribly ingrained in people.)

4.) Esoteric non-tangible future probable benefits to my health.

Can anyone bring up some benefits that make losing weight worth the work
and the aggravation?

Or failing that, can you come up with the things for me to say when I see
my family this next week-end (I've lost 25 pounds since they last saw
me) and THEY exclaim how happy I must be?

Wendy, who kindly did NOT cross-post this to ASF-A. :-)

first of all, THANKS for not crossposting!


secondly, you sound a little depressed wendy.
whenever i hear/read someone say that they are NOT happy about their
physical progress, i immediately wonder about their emotional condition.
you have done an incredible job thus far!
do you have far to go in your weight loss?
are you at your goal?

in the meantime:

((((((((((((wendy))))))))))))))

(yes, that's a "deserata feel good" hug)

--
read and post daily, it works!
rosie

Many individuals have, like uncut diamonds, shining
qualities beneath a rough exterior.
...........................juvenal (c. 55-130)




"Wendy" wrote in message
...
I just ran into a friend at the gym and she exclaimed, "don't you just
feel great now that you've lost all this weight?"

Umm, no.

First of all, I didn't feel bad when I was fat. I was strong and
active
and not suffering from any illnesses. Second of all, I still feel
exactly
like me. I look better, but don't really care that much about my
looks
(aside from my cuticles.) :-)

Thirdly, I'm actually a bit tired from all this exercise and trying to
shoe-horn it into my life whether it fits or not (and even after a
solid
year of it I sometimes just can't fit it in easily) and I'm also a bit
resentful of never being able to eat unrestrainedly for entertainment.

Being non-fat costs me something. It's a trade-off. Am I happier
now? Not really. Am I healthier now? Not noticeably (though most
likely in the long run.)

I'm trying to figure out what losing all this weight has gotten
me. Because right now it's a pain in the ass: I have a vanishingly
small
wardrobe of things that fit, for example, and my skin is literally
striped
from the stretch marks compacting.

The only benefits I can really come up with a

1.) Better athletic endurance/wind for functional activities like
playing
with the kids or gardening.

2.) Annoying (but not seriously painful) knee pain and plantar
fasciatis
pain is gone.

3.) A bit better confidence in social situations: I don't feel like
they're discounting me because I must be stupid (the fat/stupid
connection
is terribly ingrained in people.)

4.) Esoteric non-tangible future probable benefits to my health.

Can anyone bring up some benefits that make losing weight worth the
work
and the aggravation?

Or failing that, can you come up with the things for me to say when I
see
my family this next week-end (I've lost 25 pounds since they last saw
me) and THEY exclaim how happy I must be?

Wendy, who kindly did NOT cross-post this to ASF-A. :-)

Wish I had an answer for you. For me I haven't lost the vast amounts
of weight, but the increased endurance and physical fitness leve I
have and the fact that I can keep up with my growing son have been a
major plus. I won't be the soccer mom that watches from the
sidelines while eating bonbons. I'll be the mom that is out on the
field helping the coach. And the quality time spending with my son
means the world to me.

On the other hand, I know how frustrating it is to deal with those
questions. I've got MIL and a woman at work who seem to be so
curious. For instance - last weekend while visiting the inlaws and
family... MIL sat down next to me as we are sitting infront of this
huge spread of junk food (cakes, cookies, chips, chocolates, fudge,
you name it - Maple suryp pie and fudge and this and that). When I
turned down somethign sweet she offered (mind you, I'd been snacking
all day and was full) she inquires "are you still dieting?" and I tell
her no. She's insulted I wont take more food. She goes on to tell
SIL's that I'm always dieting when she comes to visit. (I'm sorry, my
way of eating is different, and so I'm happy with dinner being a salad
and a piece of grilled meat... that doesn't mean I'm dieting - that
is my choosen way to eat and so it doesn't include desserts and breads
and etc...)

ANother time she looks at me and tells me I've lost weight since her
last visit. (I haven't, and if anything, I've gained on the scale).
I graciously thank her for the compliment, but admit that I haven't
lost. She begins to debate me.

Dammit - its that kind of attitude that makes visiting family hard.

Like money, weightloss doesn't buy happiness.

On 1 Oct 2003 14:18:15 -0400, Wendy wrote:

I just ran into a friend at the gym and she exclaimed, "don't you just
feel great now that you've lost all this weight?"

Umm, no.

First of all, I didn't feel bad when I was fat. I was strong and active
and not suffering from any illnesses. Second of all, I still feel exactly
like me. I look better, but don't really care that much about my looks
(aside from my cuticles.) :-)

Thirdly, I'm actually a bit tired from all this exercise and trying to
shoe-horn it into my life whether it fits or not (and even after a solid
year of it I sometimes just can't fit it in easily) and I'm also a bit
resentful of never being able to eat unrestrainedly for entertainment.

Being non-fat costs me something. It's a trade-off. Am I happier
now? Not really. Am I healthier now? Not noticeably (though most
likely in the long run.)

I'm trying to figure out what losing all this weight has gotten
me. Because right now it's a pain in the ass: I have a vanishingly small
wardrobe of things that fit, for example, and my skin is literally striped
from the stretch marks compacting.

The only benefits I can really come up with a

1.) Better athletic endurance/wind for functional activities like playing
with the kids or gardening.

2.) Annoying (but not seriously painful) knee pain and plantar fasciatis
pain is gone.

3.) A bit better confidence in social situations: I don't feel like
they're discounting me because I must be stupid (the fat/stupid connection
is terribly ingrained in people.)

4.) Esoteric non-tangible future probable benefits to my health.

Can anyone bring up some benefits that make losing weight worth the work
and the aggravation?

Or failing that, can you come up with the things for me to say when I see
my family this next week-end (I've lost 25 pounds since they last saw
me) and THEY exclaim how happy I must be?

Wendy, who kindly did NOT cross-post this to ASF-A. :-)

ANother time she looks at me and tells me I've lost weight since her
last visit. (I haven't, and if anything, I've gained on the scale).
I graciously thank her for the compliment, but admit that I haven't
lost. She begins to debate me.



all this talk about weight gain, and weight loss, is EXTREMELY rude, and
you would do yourself a favor if you found a "nice" way to inform her of
that!

On Wed, 01 Oct 2003 18:53:19 GMT, "rosie read and post"
wrote:

ANother time she looks at me and tells me I've lost weight since her
last visit. (I haven't, and if anything, I've gained on the scale).
I graciously thank her for the compliment, but admit that I haven't
lost. She begins to debate me.



all this talk about weight gain, and weight loss, is EXTREMELY rude, and
you would do yourself a favor if you found a "nice" way to inform her of
that!


hindsight - I think it was an attention plea. I think she may have
lost some weight over the summer and that is her way of asking me to
ask her so she can feel good about herself.

The conversation probably should have gone.
Have you lost weight? Thank you for the compliment, but honestly, I
haven't lost any weight, but it looks like you did.

Instead I just tried to drop the conversation. Yes, I do find it
rude and intrusive, But I know I don't have the right words to explain
that to her without causing insult or injury to her fragile self
esteem she seems to have (why, I don't understand or know... yet it
is painfully obvious that she has very low self esteem).

Ignoramus28710 wrote:
just wait until you lose 25-30 more pounds...

Yeah, now THAT will make me happy. Cuz maybe then men will like me for my
body and that'll be so cool to get oggled in the weight room by people who
ignored me for the first year.

Wendy, with extreme sarcasm

Ignoramus28710 wrote:
What MIL? I thought that you were divorced...

How about the MIL that came to visit last spring and we got to hear about
every day? Maybe THAT MIL?

(I *totally* sympathize, Jay Jay, and think you're right about how you
were supposed to respond. It isn't about *you*, it's about *her*.)

Want me to teach you some compliments in quebecois? :-)

Wendy

On 1 Oct 2003 14:18:15 -0400, Wendy wrote:

Can anyone bring up some benefits that make losing weight worth the work
and the aggravation?

If after all the time, and all your postings, all your reading you
haven't figured it out yet, I can't help you.

On 1 Oct 2003 15:23:25 -0400, Wendy wrote:

Ignoramus28710 wrote:
What MIL? I thought that you were divorced...

How about the MIL that came to visit last spring and we got to hear about
every day? Maybe THAT MIL?

Are you complaining about my complaining? :-)

(I *totally* sympathize, Jay Jay, and think you're right about how you
were supposed to respond. It isn't about *you*, it's about *her*.)

Want me to teach you some compliments in quebecois? :-)

my french - especially quebecois SUCKS... 2 yrs in highschool and 2
yrs in collage and that language has never stuck.

Instead I just tried to drop the conversation. Yes, I do find it
rude and intrusive, But I know I don't have the right words to explain
that to her without causing insult or injury to her fragile self
esteem she seems to have (why, I don't understand or know... yet it
is painfully obvious that she has very low self esteem).




GOTCHA!