How to acquire a "rugged look"?

Mxsmanic wrote:
Larry Hodges writes:

LOL..."a fast-moving attempt to establish "permanent" relationships".

Yes. Potentially abusive men rapidly begin talking about marriage and
permanent relationships and frequently say things like "this is
forever," "our lifetime together," etc. They become deeply involved
very quickly, much more quickly than their partners.

Is that so we can incarsorate some woman by way of marriage
so we can get right to beating her ASAP?

It's part of the control-freak behavior that one commonly sees among
abusive men.

"Star 80"

Doug Freyburger wrote in message
om...
John M. Williams wrote:
mapp wrote:
Doug Freyburger wrote:
Proton Soup wrote:
Mxsmanic wrote:

"Potentially" ? As opposed to what, "impotentially" ?

Men are potentially abusive if they exhibit the symptoms of
abusive
personalities but haven't actually hit a woman yet.

Such as?

Also it's both genders in approximately equal numbers. Men get
the wrap more often because men tend to be physically larger,
but there are plenty of abusive woman.

this has actually been confirmed by a study in Canada of all places.
... women are SLIGHTLY more likely to intitiate physical violence.

2) men are FAR less likely to
report minor assaults to police than women are.

Even when it includes a trip to the hospital to handle the damage. Been
there, done that, have a finallized divorce as a result. It signaled
the time to exit.


i've been slapped before. that's "domestic violence".

i would not and did not call 911 to report this heinous abuse.

and i think that is typical of most men.

far more women would report a slap.

that is how the reporting gets skewed.

i had a friend in college who got kicked in the nads by his girlfriend. he
kind of deserved it, but still...

now THAT's domestic violence.

whit

I have known a number of girls/women who think it acceptable to react
to a guy verbally teasing them by pinching him, giving him a little
shove, or punching him in the arm. I think that's an extremely bad
habit to let a girl develop. It incites violence, and it is *not* a
benign reaction to mere words. And someday, it will result in a guy
kicking the crap out them.

That does not justify the guy's actions. However, she is not
innocent, and his violent acts might not have occurred but for her
physical provocation.

Rough-housing that both parties view as rough-housing is NOT abuse.
Abuse comes from a competely different mental state. This is like
comparing sober driving and drunk driving and thinking they are the
same becaus ethey both involve driving. I get your point that it
needs to be viewed as an enabling step.

Proton Soup writes:

Sorry, you're not getting off that easily.

Getting off what?

Why is it that women always want to shrug off responsibility?

Who said that?

Oh yeah, I forgot, they're manipulative. And irresponsible. They can
always use the "I'm just a girl" defense. Pout, cry, turn on the
tears. Men are just suckers for that.

Not all men.

--
Transpose hotmail and mxsmanic in my e-mail address to reach me directly.

Mxsmanic wrote in message
...
marbury writes:

they still tend to prefer strong men over weak men.

Both sexes tend to prefer psychologically strong partners.


but men do not tend to value physical strength in women, to the extent that
women value physical strength in a man.

also, women are much more likely to choose and desire a partner that is
physically stronger than they are, then men are to want to choose a partner
that is physically stronger than them

this has been borne out in my personal experience as well, as in theory

Women are sexually attracted to physical strength as well, which only
makes sense since that matches the majority of men (from a woman's
viewpoint). However, there is more to successful relationships than
sexual attraction.

well, duh

and it's not just sexual. not at all. that is not the sole reason, or even
the primary reason why women are attracted to strong men


... in our society, strong
doesn't necessarily mean physically strong - it can also have to do with
money/power etc.

Yes. See above. But both sexes prefer partners who are strong in other
ways, unless they are very insecure (as many men are, alas!).

but men are generally not that interested in strength and power etc as women
are. men are far more interested than women in fecundity, youth, etc. and
less interested in power, strength etc.

that is why, for instance, it is far more rare for women to marry below
their station than women.

it is also why the older male and younger woman is more common than the
older woman and younger man

whit


--
Transpose hotmail and mxsmanic in my e-mail address to reach me directly.

John M. Williams writes:

I think I recall someone talking recently about martial
arts sparring with his wife. I learned during my first marriage that
it's not such a good idea. One spouse gets a little over-competitive,
and it escalates.

I think it depends on personalities. People who have a violent nature
should avoid "sparring" and other "playful" forms of violence, as they
will find it hard to resist the urge to escalate. Of course, these are
the very people who are most likely to be interested in "playful"
violence to begin with. People who don't like violence aren't even
interested in pretending to be violent, as they find the whole idea
perverse.

--
Transpose hotmail and mxsmanic in my e-mail address to reach me directly.

Mxsmanic wrote in message
...
marbury writes:

more women than men are likely to use physical violence.

They are raised to believe it is acceptable, as long as it doesn't
injure anyone physically. Women need to be taught that it is _not_
acceptable, injury or not.

what they need to be taught is another issue. i was merely commenting on
the fact that they are more likely to use physical force in relationships,
however minor it is.



men are much more likely to use more SERIOUS physical violence,
resulting in
injury, though

Men seek to injure through violence; women generally do not.


i am not sure this is the distinction. it may also have to do with strength
factors, etc. but i haven't seen data either way.

whit

--
Transpose hotmail and mxsmanic in my e-mail address to reach me directly.

mapp writes:

i had a friend in college who got kicked in the nads by his girlfriend. he
kind of deserved it, but still...

What sort of behavior "deserves" violence?

--
Transpose hotmail and mxsmanic in my e-mail address to reach me directly.

mapp writes:

but men do not tend to value physical strength in women, to the extent that
women value physical strength in a man.

I said "psychologically."

also, women are much more likely to choose and desire a partner that is
physically stronger than they are, then men are to want to choose a partner
that is physically stronger than them

Most men are stronger than most women, so the choice of that for a woman
is not difficult.

and it's not just sexual. not at all. that is not the sole reason, or even
the primary reason why women are attracted to strong men

It is almost exclusively sexual. The rest is conditioning. On rare
occasions, some personalities (of either sex) might be attracted to it.

but men are generally not that interested in strength and power etc as women
are.

Men have very fragile egos in many cases and are thus likely to be more
intimidated by power in women than attracted to it. Secure men may not
have this problem, although I think both of them are already married.

--
Transpose hotmail and mxsmanic in my e-mail address to reach me directly.

Mxsmanic wrote in message
...
mapp writes:

but men do not tend to value physical strength in women, to the extent
that
women value physical strength in a man.

I said "psychologically."


i know. that's why i referenced back to phys strength. in general, women
value strength in a potential mate more than men do, whereas men value
fecundity, youthfulness, etc. more than women do.


also, women are much more likely to choose and desire a partner that is
physically stronger than they are, then men are to want to choose a
partner
that is physically stronger than them

Most men are stronger than most women, so the choice of that for a woman
is not difficult.


yes, but it is still a truism. imo, it is an edifice of evolution.

fwiw, women who are exceptionally strong DO have a hard time finding mates.
i have several very6 strong wl'er women friends who oft-remark on this. a
physically strong woman is going to scare a lot of guys off - guys are
extremely loathe to partner with a woman who is stronger than them

and it's not just sexual. not at all. that is not the sole reason, or
even
the primary reason why women are attracted to strong men

It is almost exclusively sexual.

i disagree

The rest is conditioning.

no, there is more than that. for example, a stronger man is going ot be
perceived as a potentially better protector, breadwinner, etc.


On rare
occasions, some personalities (of either sex) might be attracted to it.

but men are generally not that interested in strength and power etc as
women
are.

Men have very fragile egos in many cases and are thus likely to be more
intimidated by power in women than attracted to it. Secure men may not
have this problem, although I think both of them are already married.


it is not just a matter of fragile ego. it is a matter of what is found to
be attractive. it is a matter of perceived ability to (in the case of men
seeking women) bear children, raise them, etc. whereas in the case of men it
is the perceived ability to protect, provide care/food for, etc.

those are a lot more robust than ego

whit

--
Transpose hotmail and mxsmanic in my e-mail address to reach me directly.

Mxsmanic wrote in message
...
mapp writes:

i had a friend in college who got kicked in the nads by his girlfriend.
he
kind of deserved it, but still...

What sort of behavior "deserves" violence?


i knew i was going to get a response like that.

he cheated on her and lied to her.

from a legal standpoint, it is unacceptable (not that he would have
considered calling the cops, of course). from a societal standpoint - he
got what he deserved imo

whit

--
Transpose hotmail and mxsmanic in my e-mail address to reach me directly.