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#101
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In article ,
Ignoramus3773 wrote: In article , Luna wrote: In article , "Roger Zoul" wrote: Learn to play a musical instrument. Aaaahhhhh!!!! *runs away and hides* Thanks Roger, actually your suggestion along with Ig's and JC's, and my instinctive reactions to them have helped clarify exactly what kinds of activities seem to help my anxiety and which kinds don't. Math problems, crossword puzzles, learning to play an instrument: nay. Jigsaw puzzles, scrapbooking, sewing, beading, gardening: yay. I would say that I'm relaxed by working with my hands, except you use your hands to play a lot of musical instruments too. Maybe it's working with my hands to create something tangible? Or maybe the hobbies that calm me use a different part of the brain than the hobbies that aggravate me? Or maybe the hobbies I like just don't require as much thinking and problem solving, so I can let those parts of my brain be quiet for a while. *shrug* forgot to say, I share your interest in gardening. We recently had a tomato that weighed about 2.5 lbs: http://igor.chudov.com/tmp/Tomato/ Cool. That's not the kind of gardening I do though. Instead of trying to get things to grow, I try to get things to stop growing where they shouldn't. We already have the mint and the daffodils planted, I just try to keep the weeds out. -- Michelle Levin http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws. |
#102
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Grow up and quit your belly-aching.
"Luna" wrote in message ... I'm sick of people minimizing other people's struggles, in general, not just in my case. This whole attitude of "What you're going through isn't that hard, stop whining" First off, it's crap. Everyone knows it's crap when the struggle is against something concrete and external. We all know people have different levels of physical ability. For example, if my 82 year old grandmother, who has a bad hip and has never ridden a bike, learned how to ride and rode a whole mile, that would be a far more difficult accomplishment than if Roger, in his present condition, were to ride a mile on his bike. Yet, when it's an internal struggle, people expect everyone to have the same ability and level of difficulty. I don't know why it is so hard to accept that some people may have a more difficult time controlling their eating than others, some people may have more difficulty dealing with stress, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, etc. There are different levels of natural ability, and different levels of life experiences which help build coping skills. I've never had a drinking problem, so should I sit in judgment of people who do and say "What's the big deal? I don't find it so hard not to drink, neither should you." For you it may be no big deal to go out and shop for groceries. For an acute agoraphobic, this would be a huge deal. Telling them to stop whining and get over it won't help at all and would just make you look like an asshole. Lying to myself and telling myself that quitting smoking is easy and controlling my eating is easy will not magically make it easy. Instead it just makes me feel like a failure over and over. It would make me _not_ seek out help and support, because hey, if it's easy I shouldn't need help. If eating less is so easy, then I shouldn't need to get out of the house or find some other way to distract myself when I feel like munching. If it's so easy, it should just happen automatically with no effort on my part. And waiting around for it to happen on its own won't get the job done. Like every other human being I have my strengths and weaknesses. Some of my weak areas include self control, impulse control, motivation, and maintaining a positive outlook. Those 4 things are the main tendencies I have to fight against in just about every endeavor in my life. And for people who _don't_ have problems in those areas to come and tell me that no, I actually don't have them either, that I'm making it up to get attention, or using them as excuses, is a bunch of crap. I'm not making them up, and they're not excuses. You have to play the hand you're dealt in life, and that's the hand I have. I would be completely deserving of being called a drama queen or told I was making excuses if I said that I was giving up, that I didn't want to play the game anymore, that it was too hard and I was just going to take my toys and go home. Well, I'm not doing that. This is hard and it sucks and I hate it, but it's worth it. I want to be healthy and strong, no matter what it takes, and I will do it, I will get there. The fact that I find it difficult doesn't mean I have some kind of moral failing. The moral failing would be in letting the difficulty be an excuse to stop working on it. -- Michelle Levin http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws. |
#103
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Grow up and quit your belly-aching.
"Luna" wrote in message ... I'm sick of people minimizing other people's struggles, in general, not just in my case. This whole attitude of "What you're going through isn't that hard, stop whining" First off, it's crap. Everyone knows it's crap when the struggle is against something concrete and external. We all know people have different levels of physical ability. For example, if my 82 year old grandmother, who has a bad hip and has never ridden a bike, learned how to ride and rode a whole mile, that would be a far more difficult accomplishment than if Roger, in his present condition, were to ride a mile on his bike. Yet, when it's an internal struggle, people expect everyone to have the same ability and level of difficulty. I don't know why it is so hard to accept that some people may have a more difficult time controlling their eating than others, some people may have more difficulty dealing with stress, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, etc. There are different levels of natural ability, and different levels of life experiences which help build coping skills. I've never had a drinking problem, so should I sit in judgment of people who do and say "What's the big deal? I don't find it so hard not to drink, neither should you." For you it may be no big deal to go out and shop for groceries. For an acute agoraphobic, this would be a huge deal. Telling them to stop whining and get over it won't help at all and would just make you look like an asshole. Lying to myself and telling myself that quitting smoking is easy and controlling my eating is easy will not magically make it easy. Instead it just makes me feel like a failure over and over. It would make me _not_ seek out help and support, because hey, if it's easy I shouldn't need help. If eating less is so easy, then I shouldn't need to get out of the house or find some other way to distract myself when I feel like munching. If it's so easy, it should just happen automatically with no effort on my part. And waiting around for it to happen on its own won't get the job done. Like every other human being I have my strengths and weaknesses. Some of my weak areas include self control, impulse control, motivation, and maintaining a positive outlook. Those 4 things are the main tendencies I have to fight against in just about every endeavor in my life. And for people who _don't_ have problems in those areas to come and tell me that no, I actually don't have them either, that I'm making it up to get attention, or using them as excuses, is a bunch of crap. I'm not making them up, and they're not excuses. You have to play the hand you're dealt in life, and that's the hand I have. I would be completely deserving of being called a drama queen or told I was making excuses if I said that I was giving up, that I didn't want to play the game anymore, that it was too hard and I was just going to take my toys and go home. Well, I'm not doing that. This is hard and it sucks and I hate it, but it's worth it. I want to be healthy and strong, no matter what it takes, and I will do it, I will get there. The fact that I find it difficult doesn't mean I have some kind of moral failing. The moral failing would be in letting the difficulty be an excuse to stop working on it. -- Michelle Levin http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws. |
#104
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Quit responding to posts you haven't even read.
In article VAuYc.332052$a24.32041@attbi_s03, "The Low-Carb Bartender" wrote: Grow up and quit your belly-aching. "Luna" wrote in message ... I'm sick of people minimizing other people's struggles, in general, not just in my case. This whole attitude of "What you're going through isn't that hard, stop whining" First off, it's crap. Everyone knows it's crap when the struggle is against something concrete and external. We all know people have different levels of physical ability. For example, if my 82 year old grandmother, who has a bad hip and has never ridden a bike, learned how to ride and rode a whole mile, that would be a far more difficult accomplishment than if Roger, in his present condition, were to ride a mile on his bike. Yet, when it's an internal struggle, people expect everyone to have the same ability and level of difficulty. I don't know why it is so hard to accept that some people may have a more difficult time controlling their eating than others, some people may have more difficulty dealing with stress, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, etc. There are different levels of natural ability, and different levels of life experiences which help build coping skills. I've never had a drinking problem, so should I sit in judgment of people who do and say "What's the big deal? I don't find it so hard not to drink, neither should you." For you it may be no big deal to go out and shop for groceries. For an acute agoraphobic, this would be a huge deal. Telling them to stop whining and get over it won't help at all and would just make you look like an asshole. Lying to myself and telling myself that quitting smoking is easy and controlling my eating is easy will not magically make it easy. Instead it just makes me feel like a failure over and over. It would make me _not_ seek out help and support, because hey, if it's easy I shouldn't need help. If eating less is so easy, then I shouldn't need to get out of the house or find some other way to distract myself when I feel like munching. If it's so easy, it should just happen automatically with no effort on my part. And waiting around for it to happen on its own won't get the job done. Like every other human being I have my strengths and weaknesses. Some of my weak areas include self control, impulse control, motivation, and maintaining a positive outlook. Those 4 things are the main tendencies I have to fight against in just about every endeavor in my life. And for people who _don't_ have problems in those areas to come and tell me that no, I actually don't have them either, that I'm making it up to get attention, or using them as excuses, is a bunch of crap. I'm not making them up, and they're not excuses. You have to play the hand you're dealt in life, and that's the hand I have. I would be completely deserving of being called a drama queen or told I was making excuses if I said that I was giving up, that I didn't want to play the game anymore, that it was too hard and I was just going to take my toys and go home. Well, I'm not doing that. This is hard and it sucks and I hate it, but it's worth it. I want to be healthy and strong, no matter what it takes, and I will do it, I will get there. The fact that I find it difficult doesn't mean I have some kind of moral failing. The moral failing would be in letting the difficulty be an excuse to stop working on it. -- Michelle Levin http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws. -- Michelle Levin http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws. |
#105
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Quit responding to posts you haven't even read.
In article VAuYc.332052$a24.32041@attbi_s03, "The Low-Carb Bartender" wrote: Grow up and quit your belly-aching. "Luna" wrote in message ... I'm sick of people minimizing other people's struggles, in general, not just in my case. This whole attitude of "What you're going through isn't that hard, stop whining" First off, it's crap. Everyone knows it's crap when the struggle is against something concrete and external. We all know people have different levels of physical ability. For example, if my 82 year old grandmother, who has a bad hip and has never ridden a bike, learned how to ride and rode a whole mile, that would be a far more difficult accomplishment than if Roger, in his present condition, were to ride a mile on his bike. Yet, when it's an internal struggle, people expect everyone to have the same ability and level of difficulty. I don't know why it is so hard to accept that some people may have a more difficult time controlling their eating than others, some people may have more difficulty dealing with stress, quitting smoking, quitting drinking, etc. There are different levels of natural ability, and different levels of life experiences which help build coping skills. I've never had a drinking problem, so should I sit in judgment of people who do and say "What's the big deal? I don't find it so hard not to drink, neither should you." For you it may be no big deal to go out and shop for groceries. For an acute agoraphobic, this would be a huge deal. Telling them to stop whining and get over it won't help at all and would just make you look like an asshole. Lying to myself and telling myself that quitting smoking is easy and controlling my eating is easy will not magically make it easy. Instead it just makes me feel like a failure over and over. It would make me _not_ seek out help and support, because hey, if it's easy I shouldn't need help. If eating less is so easy, then I shouldn't need to get out of the house or find some other way to distract myself when I feel like munching. If it's so easy, it should just happen automatically with no effort on my part. And waiting around for it to happen on its own won't get the job done. Like every other human being I have my strengths and weaknesses. Some of my weak areas include self control, impulse control, motivation, and maintaining a positive outlook. Those 4 things are the main tendencies I have to fight against in just about every endeavor in my life. And for people who _don't_ have problems in those areas to come and tell me that no, I actually don't have them either, that I'm making it up to get attention, or using them as excuses, is a bunch of crap. I'm not making them up, and they're not excuses. You have to play the hand you're dealt in life, and that's the hand I have. I would be completely deserving of being called a drama queen or told I was making excuses if I said that I was giving up, that I didn't want to play the game anymore, that it was too hard and I was just going to take my toys and go home. Well, I'm not doing that. This is hard and it sucks and I hate it, but it's worth it. I want to be healthy and strong, no matter what it takes, and I will do it, I will get there. The fact that I find it difficult doesn't mean I have some kind of moral failing. The moral failing would be in letting the difficulty be an excuse to stop working on it. -- Michelle Levin http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws. -- Michelle Levin http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws. |
#106
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FOB wrote:
I imagine it depends on the person, some are much less/more addictive than others. My SO used to be an occasional smoker. When we met we played a lot of pool in bars, he would chainsmoke while playing. But he never needed a cigarette first thing in the morning, and when he totally quit smoking it was no big deal. Same with me. I can't control my weight but quitting smoking was really easy for me. |
#107
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FOB wrote:
I imagine it depends on the person, some are much less/more addictive than others. My SO used to be an occasional smoker. When we met we played a lot of pool in bars, he would chainsmoke while playing. But he never needed a cigarette first thing in the morning, and when he totally quit smoking it was no big deal. Same with me. I can't control my weight but quitting smoking was really easy for me. |
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